Y/n P.o.v

Joyce was about to leave, she stood in front of one of the chairs that sat pushed against the table I still sat at.

Joyce watched me for a long moment before grabbing the purse that hung loosely from the wooden chair.

I sunk into my seat and place my hand against my stomach, my heart beats were rapid; I didn't quite understand why. But I could at least take note that my body was awake and riled up.

I raised my eyes to look at Joyce, a small smile tugged at her lips and she tilted her head.

"You'll be okay alone?" She asked, taking a few steps away from the table to grab the house keys that hung against a wall rack.

I nodded slowly, I swallowed hard before replying: "I'll be fine, thank you Joyce." I forced a weak smile onto my face as Joyce nodded to show she understood, she then walked to the front door and opened it.

"I'll see you later, Y/n! If you need anything, just call!"

And with that, the front door slammed shut; the ruckus was followed by the sound of locks being triggered.

I slowly lifted my head to look around the empty room and soon after looked down at my empty plate.

I felt sick.

I stood from my seat and and weakly made my way around the house, I used what strength I had to hold back my throw up until I reached the restroom.

I threw the door open, the door knob smacking the wall with a thud. I fell to my knees in front of the toilet and threw up inside the bowl.

I've noticed that I throw up after I eat.

And all the food i've been eating has been a bit off to me, I don't crave anything.

But i'm starving.

I let out a groan and lifted my head from the toilet bowl, I slowly stood and made my way to the sink.

I washed my hands and face, staring blankly at my reflection in the mirror.

I then proceeded to flush my vomit down the toilet and make my way back to the kitchen.

I picked up my empty plate and placed it into the sick before turning the water on and washing the plate in a quick manner. I let out a sigh and turned around, I rested my hands against the counter and leaned my body against it before looking down at my body.

If someone payed close attention to the baggy shirt I wore, they could see the belly I was carrying.

I hadn't noticed the tears that slowly rolled down my cheeks, I took a deep breath and quickly rubbed my eyes.

I placed a hand against my shirt and lifted it up to receive a better view of the mound on my stomach.

I pursed my lips when I realized that my stitches seemed to have stretched a bit more over night.

I bit my bottom lip and looked around.

The house was too quiet for me to feel comfortable, I felt as if anyone-

Pennywise-

Would come anytime at anyplace and take me back to the sewers.

I needed to get out of the house for a little bit, I had to be around normal everyday people. Sure, I wouldn't communicate, and I felt like an outcast after what has happened to me-

But knowing that i'm around groups of people made me feel more secure.

I took my hands off of the counter and made my way to Carter's bedroom.

I slowly opened the door and peeked around the room before walking in, I looked around in search of some shoes I could wear.

I pressed my lips together in a straight line when I came across a group of shoes that lay completely still inside of the closet.

I lowered my body to study the shoes.

Sneakers.

Converse.

Sandals- ew.

Flip Flops.

I furrowed my brows and concluded I would just borrow the Flip Flops.

I picked up the shoes and slipped them onto my feet, I raised my body from the floor and turned around.

This is the room.

All the disgusting things happened here.

I shook the dark thoughts from my head and quickly left the room, I made my way to the front door and turned the locks. I opened the door and shut it, leaving the door unlocked for when I returned.

I didn't wanna have to wait for Joyce to get home to be able to re-enter the house. I shifted my body and slowly began to walk towards the more populated section of Derry.

I passed by a few empty streets before coming across Neibolt St.

That abandoned house was on this street, and i'm not looking to be raped again. I quickly turned around and went another way.

~

Eventually, after being lost for a long ten minutes; I arrived in town.

I made my way down the sidewalk, people giving me strange looks.

They could see the stitches on my forehead, and the messy hairstyle I had upon my head.

I looked completely malnourished and sick.

I lowered my head in an attempt to ignore the glares I received, I pressed my hands together and began fidgeting with my fingers out of anxiety.

I took a deep breath and looked around, I paused at the sight of a small store.

Drug store.

I bit my bottom lip and walked in, my head shifted in every direction to look around. There sat rows of isles, the cashier seemed to be stationed in the back of the small store.

I furrowed my brows and took a few steps forward, and then an idea flashed into my mind.

I slowly lowered my head to examine my stomach, I then looked at the isles.

My eyes then began searching the small signs that labeled the isle theme; I turned down a corridor of women's products.

Pads.

How lovely.

Tampons.

Humph.

Cups.

Um- what.

Female condoms.

A look of shock and disgust flashed onto my face.

Ah! I quickly walked closer to one of the isle walls and examined the products that sat in rows in front of me.

Pregnancy tests.

Of course, i'm only gaining weight.

I'm not pregnant.

But just in case, I wanna be prepared.

I stared at the rows of different brands of pregnancy tests, the anxiety slowly boiling in my stomach.

I pursed my lips and swiftly grabbed a random brand before turning to face the end of the isle where the cashier stood.

My eyes widened.

I don't have any of my things!

I have no money.

I let out a low groan before turning away and walking in the opposite direction, during this process I swiftly shoved the product under my loose top and rushed out of the store.

I sighed in relief at my escape, the cashier seemed to have missed my criminal activity and continued with his schedule.

I smiled lightly and held the small box that contained the tests beside me, I continued down the white sidewalk.

~

I had spent an hour or two around the town, I even thought about going into the theatre to see the new horror move that was showing, I didn't pay much attention to the title. But then I decided against it, i've had enough horror in my life.

And I have no money.

Lose, lose situation you see.

I sighed as I returned to the house I was staying at and slowly opened the door. I peered inside before stepping inside and shutting the door.

I turned and locked the door as to make it seem untouched.

I proceeded to move into the washroom, I shut the door and locked the door. Not that I was worried about anyone like Joyce coming in, I just felt the need to lock the door for something like this.

I hesitantly set the box of tests on the sink counter and stared at the blue coloring of the cardboard box.

I gave a hard stare for a long minute before slowly placing my hands against the box and ripping it open.

I stared inside the box and the many tests that lay inside it.

I took a long drawn out breath before picking up on of the tests, I pulled its wrapper off and examined the tool before setting it on the counter; I began to undress my lower half before continuing the tense process.

The last thing I needed was a baby.

Or a baby that starts forming only an hour after being conceived!

I shook my head in disappointment at my anxiety.

I was so nervous I had to take a test just to calm my nerves.

~

I took a deep breath and dressed my lower body once more, I placed the test against the counter and waited.

I stared intently at the small test.

Waiting for a sign.

Just one line is all I need.

One line.

Oh god please just give me one line.

My eyes widened at the sight that slowly formed in front of me.

Two lines.

I placed my hands in my hair as tears formed in my eyes, I backed against the washroom wall and began to weep.

I fell to the floor, my body leaning against the wall.

"No, no, no, no..." I croaked.

I began pulling my hair as tears streamed down my cheeks, I shook my head frantically.

I'm only eighteen.

I can't possibly have a baby.

Much less a rape baby that has a clown as a dad, who would probably kill it the second he saw it.

My bottom lip quivered frantically as I cried, I held my eyes shut and cried it out.

I can't kill the baby.

I couldn't bring myself to do it.

That's a life inside of me.

Even if it may be something that could kill me, I just couldn't.

I didn't have the strength to do it like other people.

So I just cried.

I hated this baby.

And then the image of the glowing eyes from my dream flashed into my mind.

Two pairs of eyes.