~Just a quick reminder, Jodie and Lillian are Alexxa's friends from the institute. I realize Lillian is both her friend and Gabriel's mother... Try not to get confused :)~

My mind didn't know how to react. But my lips- dear god, my lips- were going crazy, in sync with his own. His hand was on the back of my head, tangled in my blond hair, while my own was clutching a fistful of his expensive jacket that felt so out of place on him.

All too soon I was pulled back and embraced by none other than my best friend. "Jodie!" He laughed, the feeling making me shake a little from the vibration. "What are you doing here?"

He was clearly high, by the scent on his jacket. I felt my cheeks burn bright red at the awkward tension Gabriel and I must be facing later tonight. "Lil and I told them we'd stay with you for tonight, 'cause of New Years and all. That alright?"

I nodded, grinning, and embraced him. "They didn't let you in. . . right?"

He shook his head. "Nah. We waited outside."

"Where's Lillian?"

He pulled away, giving me a full view of Gabriel. It only made my blush deepen when he met my eyes with a smirk. "Outside. I said i'd get you first."

"You can ride with us," I told him, bracing myself and facing him once more. "Um. . .Gabriel?"

He grinned cheekily. "Yes?" He asked with amusement.

I fought the urge to shoot him a glare. "Jodie and Lillian are going to stay the night, and we're taking them home with us."

"Fine by me," his eyes twinkled and he put his hands in his pockets. He totally knew the affect he had on me right now. . .

"Um," Jodie broke in, "Sorry if I was. . .interrupting. Do you want me to go find Lil-"

"No!" I cut in quickly. "No, it's alright. We're leaving anyways."

Gabriel gave his father a passing glance, all humor in his eyes gone. "Yeah," he muttered. "Let's go."

I stood about a foot away from him as we walked towards the exit. He lingered there, a flash of something I couldn't recognize passing through his gaze before he spun on his heel to face his father.

"Hey, dad?" He called out all of a sudden. Daryl, the man who killed Gabriel's mother and almost him, sent him a glare. "Fuck you." He raised his middle finger, taking my hand and pulling me into him. I stiffened, but didn't protest, and was dragged out of the courthouse with his hand firmly on my waist.

"Um," I muttered, "Good job."

He rolled his eyes but smiled. We met up with Jodie and Lillian, who were laughing about something. "Hey, asshole!" Jodie clapped his back. "Has he come to his senses and-"

"Babe, shut up," Lillian slapped his forehead. "Clearly everything worked out." She nodded to his hand, which had refused to let go of my waist.

I frowned, attempting to shrug out of his grip, but he held on firmly. I let out a sigh and smiled. "Hey, Lil."

She pecked my cheek as a sign of hello.

"So now that the reunion has commenced," Jodie started, pulling out a joint from his pocket and lighting it. "Could we get some food?"

I nodded, looking up at Gabriel. "You want some?"

He shrugged. "Doesn't matter."

"Cool," Lillian kissed his cheek, too. " Thanks for letting us stay with you."

He grinned at her attention. "No problem."

At the pleased look on his face, I couldn't help the irritating jealousy in the pit of my stomach, but brushed it off. After all, he'd kissed me, not her, right? That must count for something.

We got into his truck, the couple crammed into the backseat while I took shotgun, as usual. The drive was a silent and awkward one, my lips still tingling from the cutoff of our kiss.

I'd liked it. No, I loved it. But did it mean anything to him? Maybe it was a spur of the moment reflex because he won, or just a 'thank you' for supporting him.

Now, when I had time to think about all this, I wanted nothing more than to slap him in the face. Didn't he know I was broken enough without him coming into the picture? I was finally trusting him as a friend and he went and kissed me.

I'm not even sure I minded.

______

"Cheers!" Jodie called out, clinking our bottles together. I rolled my eyes and took a long drink of the mix of vodka and ginger ale, grimacing. My back was pressed against the wall as I looked on at my family and friends, realizing exactly what I had.

When I left the institution, I was alone. I had no one until Luna; And even then, it was difficult to warm up to her again. Gabriel hadn't been close to me until a few weeks ago after my hallucinations. I met Jodie and Lillian a month ago, and Sam would never be close. But I had someonenow- and that was the biggest improvement by far.

I looked up to see Gabriel leaning against the wall next to me. "Hey," He said with a smile.

I nodded. "Hey."

Jodie leaned in and wrapped his arm around Lillian, whispering something in her ear before pulling her into his lap. I watched somewhat entranced at how their love lasted everything. It was so unexpected for them, I'm sure. They were both pot heads and lunatics, yet they managed to be in the same psych ward as each other and stay together.

It amazed me what they had been through together.

What if I had been there for Gabriel when his father took a knife to his mother and himself? What if I could've helped him get through it? Would he be the same, more open, or more reserved?

That brought up a question of my own. What if he had been there for me? What if he knew me before the accident- bubbly, rebellious, athletic and somewhat popular? I was nothing like I was two and a half years ago, and that surprised me. It took others years, decades, even, to recover from what I went through.

But Gabriel. . .

I knew I would never be the same. I knew I would never be popular and have a clique. I would never speak out whenever I wanted to, or go against Luna. Not when she had done so much for me and helped me through so much.

I wondered what I would be doing right now if none of this happened. I might be at a party with Chase, or with my family and Chris. Maybe I'd be alone or with Kira, drinking on her rooftop and finding new constellations.

"Alexxa?"

I looked towards him, the boy that made me think so much but so little at once. "I have to tell you something," I blurted.

He hardly looked fazed. "Lex, there's a minute until midnight-"

"It's really important and I wanted to tell you when I met you but I just couldn't, you know? And I'm really sorry because I know you're going to hate me when I tell you because- - - fuck, i'm rambling- - - I just. . ."

He grabbed my hands and pointed to the tiny television screen. "Look, it's dropping."

I watched, somewhat in awe, as it fell to the ground. There were cheers, but I had turned my head, and this time, pressed my lips to his. He grinned and tugged me closer, until I felt if we moved any farther we might get stuck. I could care less, as this was probably the last time we'd ever kiss like this.

I hoped it wouldn't, I really did. But when I tell him, he'd hate me. Right?

"Alright, guys, it's been three minutes since midnight and you're still going at it," Luna sang.

He pulled away enough so I could untangle my legs from his and sit down, but he followed close behind. "Gabriel," I said, somewhat harshly although my stomach was tingling from the kiss. "I need to-"

"Talk to me, I know," he grinned. "C'mon, we'll go in the back yard."

I looked up at Luna, trying to mask the fear in my eyes. She just gave me a knowing nod and signed something to me that only made me stronger.

I'll always be there for you.

I swallowed and followed him to the backyard, shoving my hands into my pocket and looking up at the bright moon. Cheers and small fireworks echoed into the air near us, but I took no notice.

"Are you alright, Alexxa?"

"Stop calling me that," I whispered, tears already coming to my eyes. "Stop."

I recalled all the times he had called me that and I had wished so desperately I could be her, that I wouldn't have to go through what I was about to now. His voice echoed in my head, making my heart race faster with guilt and my hands cover my ears.

"Alexxa," His voice was soft, comforting. "You don't have to tell me."

"Alexxa, who's there?"

"Her name is Alexxa."

"Alexxa."

"Are you alright, Alexxa?"

My fists pushed further into my ears. "Stop, Ale- Babe, please," My shaking hands were torn from my head and curled into Gabriel's own. "Stop, and take a deep breath."

I did as he said, the air coming out ragged. "Now tell me."

And right then, I poured out every single thing that happened to me the moment I turned sixteen.

----

You know what I just came to the conclusion of?

Im going to do this thing. Where I have to stick to one story until it's finished. Starting at my most popular/longest, until I get down to Project D/R/U/G/S (Which will be out next month). Sooo, you lucky fucks, this will be updated a LOT more.

I kind of want to write a Lillian- Jodie story. They're just so interesting..

Questions of the chapter (No, I didn't forget^-^):

How do you think Gabriel is going to react?

If I were to write a Lilodie story, would you read it?

Oh, and there's only going to be two chapters left, one being the epilogue..

The song is Goodnight Moon, which I think really matches up with the scene where she goes mad for a minute. Just listen to it, you won't regret it, I promise.

xxx