《Dear Insanity》xThe Reelingx
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Gabriel starts his truck, boosting me up into the passengers seat and then climbing into his own. We drive off, trying to be quiet for Luna had told us not to leave. I want to ask where we are going, but it doesn't seem worth my breath. Although i'm glad to be getting out of my house, I can't help the pressured feeling in my chest that frightens me to no end. This is the same feeling I always got before a hallucination, before I went borderline insane for almost an hour each time.
I try to ignore it, focusing on the fact that I'm going on my first date in two years. This might be a pity date, one only proposed because it's highly unlikely I will ever get another date again, but it's a date nonetheless. I plan on making the most of it, especially since it's probably going to be my last one. He pulls onto the highway, and I send him an alarmed look. He smirks at my expression, glancing at me quickly before turning his eyes back to the road.
When we head into the beach, I'm excited. The beach! I thought we couldn't go, which disappointed me to no end. But now..This is awesome. We drive inside an open parking spot, and he shuts off the truck, helping me back out since this truck is probably two and a half times my size and I can't touch the ground from my seat. "Where do you want to go?" He asks, letting me go once I hit the ground. I shrug, looking around with somewhat widened eyes. Carnival lights and music rings into the distance, it's cheerful music floating through the air quietly. There's little beach shops lining the streets, some crowded, others almost empty. I smile, inhaling the salty ocean air.
"Are you hungry?" He asks. I shake my head, just as my stomach lets out the most annoying growl i've ever heard. Stifling a groan, I feel the heat rise to my cheeks. He smirks again, taking my elbow and leading us down the street. I'm in my combats, unable to feel the sand between my feet like I always did when our family came here.
Opening the doors, we walk into a sushi shop. It's almost empty, with the exception of a few teenagers. The pressure building in my chest is almost impossible to function with, making all my movements slow. My eyes are seeing dark spots, now, and my ears are blocked with a quiet wooshing sound. Oh, no. Not now - I'm actually enjoying myself!
The waitor comes up to us, smiling brightly. "Hello," He says, voice distant in my ears. "I'm Marcus, and i'll be your server. Would you like something to drink?"
I shake my head, holding my stomach in a bathroom sign and standing. He points to the back of the resteraunt which looks so far away right now. Gabriel gives me a worried stare, blue eyes boring into mine. "Are you alright?" He questions quietly.
I nod, making the seemingly long journey to the bathroom. By now, my vision is almost completely gone, the wooshing in my ears deafening me. I feel useless, trapped in my own failing body. When I reach the bathroom, I pull open the door, falling into a stall and leaning against the wall. I'm trembling so hard it's difficult to make my way to the bathroom's sink, splashing water on my face slowly and trying to snap out of my daze.
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It's not working. The water seems to worsen me, making me weaker. Oh, god. I think, using the walls as a grip and sliding my way into the handicapped stall before crashing onto the ground.
"Are you excited?" Luna asks, sending me a red-lipped smile. I nod, pulling out my makeup and putting on some mascara as she drives.
"I wonder who showed up," I think aloud thoughtfully, applying concealer over a pimple underneath my nose.
"I bet every one of your friends did- They all adore you." I roll my eyes at her flattery, seeing my house in the distance. She drives her car up to the house, planting a small kiss on my forehead. "Happy sixteenth, sweetie. I'll be over in a few- just let me change."
"Love you, Luna." I say quickly, hopping out and straightening my white summer dress. Maybe Lucas is there, my crush, or Bethany, my best friend. Walking up the stairs to my house, I open up the front door with a nervous push. It creaks open as if in a horror movie in a haunted house, allowing the sunlight to shine over the baby blue walls and into the living room.
I walk inside, peeking behind every door. If this is a suprise party, it's a crappy one at that. "Hello?" My voice echoes off the empty rooms. "Mom? Dad?"
There's no response, as I was expecting. My bare arms brush against the cool walls as I walk, but I hardly notice the chills sent up my spine as I head up the staircase and into the hallway to their room. I knock on the door- it's locked. "Mom, Dad, I'm here.."
The door opens with some force, but nobody's inside. There's blood covering the walls, limbs hiding underneath the bed and near the doorway. I can't find their heads, their torsos, though. That is the only proof to me that the limbs scattered around the room are theres. My breathing gets shaky , more rapid as I scream, turning around and running out. As I bolt down the stairs, however, I run into a body.
My mother is unable to hold me, instead leaning against the wall and blocking my exit. Her fingers are gone, left with stumps for a hand. Her feet are missing, also, along with her calves. Ears are hanging by a thread, blood pouring down her long blonde hair and staining it crimson. She doesn't have eyes, anymore, instead little pools of red blood filling inside of them and dripping down her face. "Happy birthday, sweetheart." She says, voice coming out as somewhat of a moan.
I cry out, backing up and into something else. When I turn, my father's bloody torso is falling down the stairs, pushing me over and causing me to tumble down the staircase. I fall on my mother, my head resting on her legs. Getting up as fast as I can, I trip over my feet and end up in the hallway. A head is thrown at me, also belonging to my father. It smashes on the ground, blood and brains going everywhere. "What would you like for your birthday?" She asks calmly.
I back into the kitchen, the sun gone and replaced with the moon. The slight scent of the ocean greets me as I open the door to leave, which is strange. We aren't anywhere near the ocean right now. As I leave, Chris wraps his arms around me, pulling me to him. I start to sob, my own arms snaking around his back as I bury my face in his shoulder.
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Something doesn't feel right. His spine is uneven, as if it snapped. A warm liquid settles on my head, oozing down the side of my face. I can't see it, but I can smell it: Blood. Pulling away abruptly, I bang my head against the door. "It'll all be okay," Chris mutters, stretching his arms out towards me.
His ears are gone, instead in my hands. Their pale, oval shapes rest in my palm, blood pouring out still and into the creases of my hands. I let out a scream, dropping them and pressing myself against the wall as he reaches a fingerless hand to caress my cheek. "We can make it out, together."
I run out the door, tripping on a rock and blacking out.
I'm not in my house anymore, instead the bathroom of the resteraunt.
I stand at the sink, washing blood off my hands while tears stream down my face as the memory of what happened to my parents and my brother runs through my head. Swallowing hard, I wipe my clean hands on my jeans, straightening and turning to walk out. The door swings open and Al, the owner of the diner, walks in, holding a fistful of chopped up limbs in his hands and casually throwing them into the sink I was using to wash them off.
I notice on one of the fingers is a engagement ring that's shockingly familiar. Breathing in sharply, I run over to where he stands, picking up the finger and taking off the ring. It's my mothers, the one my father gave her when he proposed. Al then looks up at me, his brown eyes turning completely black. "Give it back," He drones, reaching out to take it from me.
"No!" I back away, into the wall, and put it in my pocket. He comes towards me, and I kick his face, hearing a sickening snap as I jump up and onto the wall, gripping the small window at eye level. He grabs my ankles, dragging me down. I scream, kicking him again and curling up into a ball on the windowsill. "Get away from me!"
He growls, jumping up and grabbing my neck. My breathing cuts short as I start to choke, feeling my airway blocked by his cold fingers. He shoves an eyeball down my throat, the one that should be in his eye but isn't. I start to gag, coughing it out and struggling to get his hands off my neck. Black spots start to form in front of my eyes, signaling the small amount of time I have left.
With a final squeeze, all the life is sucked out of me.
My hands are on my arms, scratching viciously at my skin. I jerk away, my eyes popping open. My entire body trembles as I struggle to stand, wandering over to the toilet and vomiting. What is wrong with me? Why do I have these hallucinations? Tears stream down my face and I force them to stop, wetting my face and covering it with concealer to cover up any signs i've been crying. Straightening my shorts, I stand straight, making sure Al isn't waiting on the other side of the door before exiting and hiding my shaking hands from Gabriel as I sit back down.
"You were gone for a while.." He mutters, concerned. "What happened?"
I try to look fine, put together. Shaking my head in a 'nothing' kind of way, the taste of vomit is still fresh in my mouth. I take his water glass, drinking it halfway to rid myself of the disgusting feeling. He raises an eyebrow, not buying it, and takes his glass back. "You're sweating."
My eyes widen slightly. I am, aren't I! God, this date is such a disaster. Reaching into my boot, I find my old fake I.D. It reads Harriet Brown, 21, Blonde hair, blue eyes, 95 pounds. I seriously need a drink right now, to dissapate all the terrible memories and thoughts in my head. When the waiter returns, I poke Gabriel, touching the most alcoholic beverage on the menu: vodka, straight up. He furrows his eyebrows, shaking his head. I hold up my ID with a raised eyebrow, and he sighs. "No."
I smile at the waiter, handing him my ID and pointing to the drink on the menu. After reading the plastic card, he nods, giving it back to me. "What do you want to eat?" He asks. I shake my head, signaling I'm not hungry. "And you?"
Gabriel shrugs, glaring at me. "A hot dog. Kid's meal." I glare right back at him when the waiter walks away. "Alexxa, you can't drink. Don't be stupid." Smugly, I pocket my ID and look away. I know i'm being rude, but maybe i'll feel better when I have the vodka in me.
The waiter comes back all too slowly, handing me my drink. It's pretty big for straight up vodka, maybe a half of a 16 ounce glass full. Gabriel forces a smile at me, eating his hot dog like a man. I try not to make eye contact with him, because it's so awkward when someone's eating a hot dog or a banana to, but it's hard to look away from those eyes.
When we finish, and i'm hammered, he pays the bill, taking my hand and leading me outside to the beach. The scent scares me, reminding me of my earlier hallucination, but I'm too drunk to do much about it. We walk along the beach in silence, not an uncomfortable one. I know I reek of alcohol, but I find it really nice he still holds my hand although he probably wants to scream at me for drinking.
"You can tell me anything, you know." He says after a minute or two. I resist the urge to snort- As If i'll tell him anything. Ever. "Why did you drink?" He asks in a soft tone.
I shrug, looking to the sand and trying not to fall. The world is spinning, making me woozy. I might throw up. A yawn escapes my lips, making my eyes water. "C'mon. I'll take you home." He offers quietly, turning around and taking me back.
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"Are you serious?!" Luna's screaming voice wakes me from my drunken slumber, clearly angry. "You got her drunk?"
"Luna, it isn't like that-"
She cuts Gabriel off with an angry huff. "Isn't like what? She's passed out, and reeks of booze! I told you not to leave the house, but you did anyways!"
"We wanted to get out. It was really pressuring in her-"
"Do you know what happens when she drinks?!" My eyes fly open, and I peer through my half closed eyes at Luna. She's on a rampage, her face beet red as she screams at Gabriel. He's trying to look as innocent as possible, but keeps getting cut off.
"What happens?"' He asks, suddenly interested.'
"She gets horrible pains! The one time she drank she was home with the flu for weeks!"
"That probably wasn't from drinking, though.." He mutters in a weak protest.
"That's it. Gabriel, i'm done. You aren't a good influence on her, and you never were! I don't know why I let you talk to her, to try and get her personal details out of her. She's a broken girl, Gabriel. You'll just break her even more." Luna hisses.
I start to sit up, angry also. Who does she think she is, making my life choices for me? "Get out of our house, and I don't want you talking to her again!"
Abruptly, I stand although the alcohol is pressing me to sit down again. Grabbing his shirt, I tug him to me, making him stand behind me as I shake my head at Luna. She narrows her eyes at me, and I come to a shocking realization: She's drunk, too. "Stop defending him, Alexxa! He's terrible for you, and you know it!" I grip his shirt tighter. "Leave, go!" She yells at him.
"Let her make her own decisions!" He finally fights back, prying my hand off of his shirt and standing in front of me.
"She has been! She's just making the wrong ones!" She exclaims.
Fury bubbles inside of me. What was slipped into her drink? "I don't know who you think you are, but-"
"Stop it!"
Their words die out abruptly, mouths open in shock as they stare at me. I swallow hard, those two words erupting from my mouth hurting like hell. "Stop." My voice is hoarse, cracking at every syllable.
"Sweetheart.." Luna's voice breaks as she tears up, trying to hug me. I take a step back, crossing my arms over my chest.
"Stop fighting." I whisper, trying to make my voice louder. "I got myself drunk, Luna. Gabriel didn't want me to, but I did anyways."
A hand clasps into mine. I glance down quickly, seeing Gabriel's enclosed in my pale hand. "He's not a bad influence. Give him a chance- He's not half bad."
He laughs quietly, and Luna's face softens. "Y-you spoke." She stammers, pulling me in for a hug. I nod, breathing out a sigh and burying my face in the crook of her neck.
"Your drunk." I comment quietly. She nods, starting to cry.
"I-I just started thinking about your parents after what Sam said.." She murmurs, sniffling.
"You should go for him- It's only his job to find out about my life." My voice is stronger now that i've used it more.
She nods. "He's really attractive." I make a grossed out face, pulling away and leaning against the wall.
"Can I please go to sleep?" I plead after a few moments of silence, in which Gabriel and Luna both stare at me.
"You're so grounded, Lexxa." She reminds me.
I roll my eyes. "Will you two just make up?" I mutter, heading up the stairs and closing the door to my room.
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Woah, bros! That was a big chapter, to make up for the long period between updates. She SPOKE. Don't tell me I ruined the story, because I damn well know what i'm doing and there is a whole lotta shit coming up other than her speaking. People thought this was all leading up to the part where she spoke, but that isn't true.
Anyhoe... xoxo!
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