"Ohmygod, did Gabriel Hawthorne just kiss you?" A girl exclaims, waddling up to me like a penguin. Her stilletoes click against the tiles loudly, giving me a small headache watching her try and walk in them. Full, red lips smothered in lipstick open and close wildly as she waits for me to answer her, which clearly won't be happening. Her brown eyes roll after a while, flipping her black hair over her shoulder.

"I know he did. I saw him." The girl next to her points out, sitting down across from me at the table. "I'm Liliana, and you?"

Turning my eyes away from them a bit, I tap my fingers to the beat of the clock's ticking. Five more minutes, and I won't have to deal with these people. "I'm Skyla." The black-haired girl says, waving a hand in my face. "You there? Hello?"

The bell rings loudly, and I take my notebooks, covering my chest with them and standing. Although I don't want to have to put up with the awkwardness that's bound to be there between Gabriel and I, it's better than listening to these girls. "Alexxa!" A voice calls out. I look up, thanking God it was Gabriel. He saunters over to us cockily, seeing the two in front of me. "Girls," He nods, and I swear they melt a little.

I don't get girls who let boys take advantage of them- It's pathetic. "Hi, Gabriel." Skyla says, flirtaciously twisting one of her black locks. Liliana giggles as he smiles in her general direction, blonde hair falling in her face.

"Yeah, Hi." She says, voice a little higher then before.

"Ready to go?" He asks me, taking my wrist in his hand. I don't pull away yet, liking the jealous look on the girls' faces. Skyla's chocolate brown eyes focus on his hand, smile fading slightly. I nod, letting him lead me out of the room before jerking away. "Mr.Kandin is really weird, but I have a feeling he'll like you." He explains as we walk into English, sitting in the back and putting his things in the farthest desk from the front. I sit next to him, pulling out my notebook and a pencil. "Were those girls annoying you?"

I shrug, giving him a side glance before paying attention to the young man in front. He's dressed in a polo shirt and whitewashed jeans, hair combed back from his face. He looks about twenty five, and is one of the most attractive teachers i've seen. This must be Mr. Kandin. I could get used to this class, I think smugly. "They're snobs. Don't get involved with them." Nodding, I jot down the date and lean back in my seat.

"Alexxa Ward?" Mr.Kandin calls out loudly, scanning his eyes around the room. I give a half hearted wave, waiting for him to see me before laying low once more.

"Hawthorne," He greets Gabriel, walking up to his desk and ruffling his hair. "How's my favorite kid?"

Gabriel crinkles his nose cutely, rolling his eyes. "Peachy." Kandin smiles, pulling out a lighter and handing it to him.

"Thanks for letting me borrow this." He says. I try not to focus on their conversation, pretending not to wonder about why Kandin had his lighter in the first place.

"No issue- I wanted it back, though. Did it really take all summer?"

"Unfortunately, yes." Sighing, he glances at me. "Hey, Alexxa." He smiles. flashing me a set of white teeth.

I smile, nudging Gabriel. He grins, poking me. "She doesn't talk."

"Shame. You seem cool." I roll my eyes, pushing his hand away and sticking my tongue out at him. "You two dating?"

Shaking my head rapidly, a blush rises to my cheeks as Gabriel smirks. "I dunno. You free friday?"

Sighing, I shake my head, doodling aimlessly on my empty paper. "Ooh. Rejection in it's worst form." Kandin makes a hissing noise, patting my shoulder. "He's a nice kid. Open up to him."

Like last night wasn't enough, I think sourly. Crying on him, sleeping on the same couch, freaking out and running to my family's graves.. As if I could open up even more to someone. Screw off, I sign, knowing he won't understand it. Gabriel chuckles and loops his arm through mine, a grin on his face as Kandin walks away, confused.

You, too. I look over at him, meeting eyes for a split second. He flushes after a moment, having to look away. Rolling my eyes at his awkward gestures, I focus back at Kandin, who's playing a movie on an overhead facing the wall. Huh. I must've missed his welcome back speech.

On the wall, Adolf Hitler is raising his hand in the air at people. Everyone in the crowd returns the gesture, some holding nazi-printed flags and screaming in excitement. The video is in black and white, making it fuzzy and difficult to see. A monotonous voice speaks in the background, talking about the Holocaust and how it started.

I lean forward in my seat, intrigued by this. The Holocaust has always interested me, but I never really thought much about it. The past is the past, right? "Hey, Alexxa," Gabriel whispers in my ear. Glancing at him quickly, I motion for him to continue. "About friday..I was serious."

Snapping my head to face him, heat rises to my cheeks. Thank God this room is dark, or he'd be able to see how embarrased I am at his offer. "We could just hang out at your place, or go to mine..Or my parent's."

Nodding faintly, I turn away as not to see his satisfied face. I seriously just got asked on a date- Without even saying a single word.

--------------------------------

"So, I heard Gabriel's coming back friday." Luna strikes up conversation, looking at me from across the countertop with a suggestive look on her face. I roll my eyes, smiling slightly. "Is this a date? Should I leave you be?"

Shrugging, I twirl the straw in my iced coffee, taking a sip. Daniel sits across from me, reading a book and not focusing on anything. "Is he sleeping over?" I sigh silently, wondering why she's asking all these questions when she knows I won't answer. Shaking my head, I nudge Daniel lightly.

I was just at a good part. He signs, frowning with disapproval.

Sorry, I apologize, shrugging. What are you reading?

It. He says, sipping his tea. Very morbid.

I read that in fourth grade- I had nightmares for weeks. Frowning at the memory, I watch him close the book and place his elbows on the table.

Is Gabriel alright? He asks, concerned.

Yeah, I think. We don't really talk.

You should. He tells me seriously, running a hand through his salt-and pepper hair.

I don't really want to.. I admit, lowering my gaze for a moment.

He really does like you- I can see it in his eyes.

Frowning, I down the last of my coffee. That's the problem, I start, ready to open up to this man. It's not like he can tell anyone, and I've grown to care about him.

Why? I thought all teenagers liked boys.

I shrug. Every time I do, I get hurt. If I speak to him, there's always the possibility that something bad'll happen. I sign, immediately regretting it. My hands are shaking, now, heart racing- I've never told somebody about this. Not even in the institution.

He sighs, a small, pitiful smile coming to his face. You have to take risks in life, Alexxa. I know whatever happened to you was hard, but if you don't open up to somebody...You won't get anywhere. You aren't mute by will..You can speak, if you wish. I nod, swallowing hard as Gabriel takes a seat next to me and drinks his gatorade. I would do anything to talk to my grandson. If I could, I would talk to you instead of signing. This life has offered nothing for me. But for you-- Alexxa, you're stunning, and interesting, and amazing. You have so much going for you, if you could just speak.

It isn't that. I sign back, feeling tears prick my eyes. I'm afraid. That's all.

Don't be. You must take chances.

Nodding, I lower my eyes to the table. Thank you, Daniel, for that. You changed my look on things.

You're welcome. I should go before Gabriel tries to- Before he can finish, Gabriel slides a note towards him. Dammit.

"Hey," He says softly, looking concerned. "You okay?"

I shake my head slightly, watching Daniel as he responds to his note in shaky writing. Standing, I toss my coffee cup in the trash can, leaning my elbow on the counter and meeting eyes with Luna. She seems to understand my feelings, pulling me in for a tight hug. I want to cry, to scream, to do something. Instead, I bury my face in her coffee stained apron, wrapping my arms around her and squeezing my eyes shut. "Sweetie, why don't we go home? I can always take an early night."

Nodding, I wipe my tearful eyes and wave at Daniel and Gabriel. He smiles warmly, standing and running a hand through his black hair before giving my shoulder a squeeze. "I, uhm, I'll see you tommorow, okay?"

Smiling as best I can, Luna tosses me her keys. "Start up the car..I'll be out in a second." Sighing, I look up at Gabriel.

"Want me to walk you out?" He asks quietly. I shake my head, stepping closer and resting my head on his chest. It's a big step for me, to be the first one to make a move. But he doesn't seem to notice, embracing me and pulling me to him. We stay like that for a moment, before I pull away all too soon. "Bye, Alexxa."

I almost say goodbye. Almost. Instead, I walk outside, starting up the car and sitting in the driver's seat. Luna ushers Daniel and Gabriel outside to their cars, hopping in shotgun. "It's late..Lets go home." She tells me.

Nodding, I pull the car into reverse, driving off.

*

Sitting on the couch, I look up pleadingly at Luna. She has a stern look to the way she stands, but her eyes are soft. I've been refusing to stand for about three minutes, still in my pajamas although i'm being picked up by Gabriel in ten minutes. "Alexxa.." She sighs. "It's only thursday. You can't skip school yet."

Shrugging, I cup my elbows. "If I let you, you're going to be home alone.." She warns. Raising my eyebrow, I sign, I'm a big girl, Luna. She smiles in defeat, nodding. "Just this once, understand? No wild parties."

Laying back down and cuddling under the covers with my pillow, I close my eyes. She presses her soft lips to my forehead, sighing once more before grabbing her keys and handing me her cell phone. "Everyone you need to talk to is in there. Call work if you need something, but nothing else. I don't want anyone here." I nod, opening my eyes briefly to unlock and look in her contacts.

"Bye, Alexxa."

Waving half-heartedly, I watch her leave, sinking back into my pillow and looking at one name in particular.

Gabriel Hawthorne.

Wanting to text him but afraid of what would happen, I end up just turning off the screen and wandering around the house. There's thai food in the fridge calling my name, peanut noodles. It sounds so good, but so unhealthy. Not like I care- I haven't gained or lost any weight in four years. Taking out the box, adding water and putting it in the microwave, I turn on the television.

There's nothing but infomercials on. My eyes roll as I watch an ad for genie bras plays on screen. "Garunteed to make the boys love you!" It proclaims, although the bra looks as if they swallow up your boobs and make you as flat as a board.

Luna's phone vibrates. Picking it up and scrolling through the messages, my heart comes to a dead stop.

Gabriel Hawthorne (1 Message)

Where's Alexxa? I came by and nobody answered the door.

My eyes widen. She never told him not to pick me up!

To: Gabriel Hawthorne

Sorry, Gabriel. I'm staying home today.

I press send before I lose my courage, taking my thai noodles out of the microwave and settling on the couch to lazily watch the infomercials. After getting bored of it, though, I find Workaholics on her DVR system, excited to finally watch it again. This show was my obession, years ago.

Gabriel Hawthorne (1 Message)

Are you okay? I'm coming over.

Looking down at my haphazard state, I shake my head.

To: Gabriel Hawthorne

No, i'm fine. Just tired.

My face falls as I read the reply.

Gabriel Hawthorne: (1 Message)

Too late, sweetheart. Open your door.

Putting my thai box on the table, I try and fix my hair a bit before pulling down my tank top, walking to the front door and bracing myself. Gabriel stands in the doorway, looking completely worried. "Are you okay?" He asks again, walking inside and glancing at the mess of a living room.

Nodding, I watch him sit down on the couch where I was sleeping and take my box of thai. "Can I have some of this?" He questions. I snatch it from him, sitting down next to him and focusing on Workaholics. "Why are you staying home?"

I shrug, laying back on the arm of the couch and curling my legs to my chest. "Well, I'm staying with you." He says determinedly, pulling me to him with a smirk.

Sighing, I eat my thai, thinking of Daniel's words.

Should I talk to him?

-----------------------

The song is Stay by Mayday Parade!