I think,

she's caught between

who she is,

and who she wants to be

It was another day before Grace woke up.

After two days of rest she was strong enough to hold her new pups.

"Quinn and Lilah?" she said, amusement in her eyes and she looked up at Jay and Stephen. "Should I be surprised or happy that you two actually chose names that I like?"

They laughed down at her as she adored her two new girls.

They ignored the elephant in the room.

John had not shown up yet.

Grace ignored it and had not asked any questions when she had woken up. Her only thought and concern were of her two new girls. If they were safe and sound.

Jay and Stephen watched, smiling at the interaction.

"Fate gave you each pup for a reason," Grace said.

"More like a frantic Daisy," Stephen joked.

Grace sushed him but laughed, "I was going to ask, would you like to be the god-fathers to the girls you named?"

Jay felt his heart swell as he looked down at Lilah. He could already tell her apart from her sister.

"Yes," Jay said, his word choking within his mouth.

"I would like that also," Stephen said, reaching forward to stroke Quinn's soft sleeping head.

"Why Lilah?" Grace questioned later.

Stephen had left, and it was just them within the room.

"She was born at night. Lilah means night."

Grace laughed at how simple it was.

"Stephen just chose Quinn because he liked the sound of it. Thank you for putting thought into her name." Grace bent down and kissed the top of each of their heads.

Jay smiled at the scene as he stood up.

He bent down to briefly kiss Grace's forehead. A small blush appeared on her pale face, bringing color back into it.

"You did good Gracie," he said, looking down at the two little girls.

He then said his goodbyes to the new mother and her daughters.

Daisy and Doctor Schulman were sitting, sipping coffee.

"Thank you," Jay said, approaching them and bending down to hug the doctor, before he placed a small kiss on Daisy's cheek.

"No problem hot stuff," Daisy said tiredly, her smile growing.

"Where are you going?" Doctor Schulman called out as Jay walked down to the exit.

"There's something I have to take care of."

He looked at Daisy and saw her nod. She knew.

He walked outside and saw the surrounding forest that encased the clinic.

He raised his head, sure that Stephen had already gotten a head start on him. He was an Alpha though. They would find him at the same time.

He caught the faint scent of him within the air and shifted, grabbing his clothes within his mouth as he raced into the forest.

Two something hours later he found them.

John was spread out on the ground, Stephen breathing heavily over him as he assessed the new comer.

"Alpha," he said.

Jay shifted and approached the huddled figure of John.

He growled at Jay when he saw him.

"You," he said.

"Yes, me," Jay answered, "I've just come to tell you that your mate is alive."

John's eyes widened as he looked from Stephen to Jay for further confirmation.

"You should have felt your bond break if she had died John," Stephen said, disgust clear within his voice.

"I....I thought I did...." John knotted his eyebrows in confusion before he looked up at Jay and Stephen who looked at him with mild surprise.

"She um....well she did momentarily die, but Daisy brought her back."

John's eyes were wide as he absorbed the information.

"She really is alive?"

Stephen growled and made as if he were going to kick John before he restrained himself, "Yes you idiot. She's alive and well and living and holding your two new pups."

John stood and took a few steps away from the angry males.

"I can't go back," he said, his shoulders slumping, "Grace and I...our bond broke a while ago. I know it did. I don't feel her anymore. I feel...empty."

Stephen looked at his Alpha in confusion while Jay gazed at John.

"What do you mean it broke? Bonds don't just break."

John shook his head as he look down at the ground.

"I...I did somethings that made Grace not trust me....I didn't treat her right."

"Tell us John," Stephen spat, violence and anger coursing its way through him.

Jay though knew what he was talking about.

"It's when you cheated."

"What!?" Stephen turned to John with rage and before he could stop him, had tackled John to the ground, punching him over and over.

Jay sighed and pulled him off, "No no Stephen, you don't know the full story."

"Grace kept this from me?!"

Jay nodded and sighed while John talked, his voiced slightly muffled from the pounding his jaw had taken.

"It was before I knew Grace was my mate, so I don't think it counts as cheating," John said as he glared at Jay.

Jay rolled his eyes. He and Stephen both knew that John and Grace had been interested and seeing each other before they were mated. John continued, "Grace wouldn't let it go that I didn't save myself, and had...experimented with others. She kept telling me that she also had slept with someone before we were mated."

Jay couldn't help the roll of disgust that shot down him, but looked at John with confusion as he processed the words. He had never heard this part of the story about Grace.

"She told me she slept with Jay."

Now Jay lept at John while Stephen pulled him off.

"We never did that!" Jay spat.

John glared at him, "you don't think I know? It was obvious to see she was lying. But she deluded herself into thinking that some part of it was true. That you two had shared some connection before I came and ruined it. It took a long time for us to repair the damage we had done. But Grace still always held a fascination with you."

John spat out a wad of blood as Stephen spoke, "I won't deny it Jay, Grace wouldn't shut up about you when we were pups. The fact that she was your only friend as a kid also didn't help."

Jay growled at them, "Don't blame me for your actions John."

"And why shouldn't I?" He questioned. He got up again and brushed the dirt off of him, "There was a brief moment of peace and then Grace became pregnant. Then every moment was hell. I kept questioning, asking myself if they were really mine, or if she really wanted me around. Grace kept assuring me that everything was okay, but even though she said that, she still kept running back to you."

John glared at Jay as he stared at his former Beta with wide eyes, "she kept asking me what you thought about the food she ate, asking me if you had been by or if you were coming by. Our little peace was shattered because she chose to shatter it."

Jay shook his head, somehow not quite able to take in this new information.

"Grace and I are-,"

"Friends?" John questioned, "I can tell that's how you feel with her. But look at her actions Jay. Look at how she treated you in the past. She went to your camps while you were training as Alpha. She traveled miles just to see you there. She put herself in the position of Luna for the pack when she didn't have to, she helped you with work, she did all these things for you. You both are a crutch for each other."

The slow revelation dawned on Jay as he thought of every gesture, word and touch Grace had spoken to him.

"You're her mate though," he said weakly.

"I am," John laughed. It was a bitter laugh, "But we both have not acted like each other's mates in a while."

Jay looked at John and extended his hand, John eyed it wearily.

"I don't want Grace like that. I have my own mate whom I love. I don't know why you are running away from Grace or your bond. If it were me I would be fighting to fix it. Fighting to get her back."

John looked from Stephen and Jay.

"My sister has acted like a bitch. You've acted like an ass. You both won't admit it but you need to learn how to rely on each other. Your new pups need you."

At the mention of his pups, John deflated.

He sighed and nodded, starting the long walk back.

"It won't be easy," he said, "I'll probably give up within the first five minutes."

"I'll be there to hit your heads together," Stephen said, smirking silently at the idea.

Maybe some of you are confused right now, and maybe some of you are like, "whattttt I understood every word."

But really I don't want to explain this whole messy situation to you guys because

A. It will be explained more later (so be patient jeez)

and

B. read A

Grace and Jay have history ppl (not that kind! *throws brick* -dirty minded children) But hisssttorrryy none the less. Though this chapter may have cleared some up, I can understand if you have more questions so I will repeat again.

C. read A (again mwhahaha).

I hope you guys enjoyed the update!

Thank you to all who read and vote!

Until next time,