《Talking Loudly》Chapter 10
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Beth was sitting there reading the teleprompter as she watched August talk about his case to the jury.
"My girlfriend had terrible biological parents. Terrible and to her it feels like they will forever haunt her even though they are very much alive. She claims she still hears them somehow. And she's deaf. The one flaw that my girlfriend has and that's why they left her. They knew exactly what happened when blood started pouring out of her ears and left their now disabled daughter on the ground," he tells the courtroom.
Beth couldn't read it again as he had continued talking.
Did he feel sorry for her? Is that why he is dating her? Because he feels sorry. That her parents left and he felt like he couldn't be that evil?
She continues to read.
"You guys are terrible. That is what level of how terrible you are. I saw you gasp about how terrible they were. And you are just as bad. You have abused and neglected your child," August says. Beth was in the back row crying. She wanted to leave. But she waited until it was over and then waited for August.
August was confident and it was shattered after he saw Beth.
"Beth, what happened?" he asked as she was crying. She stands up and he noticed that she was furious.
"Take your lunch," she signs and shoves it at him. He gathers it in his arms and grabs her arm forcing her to stay. He pulls her close.
They both stare at each other with bold looks. She sighs and fixes the lunch in his arms. He lets go of her arm and wipes some tears from her eyes.
"What?" he signs being gentle. Beth was furious. He shouldn't have said that she was disabled. She just used a different language!
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"Am I charity case for you?" she signs slowly. She didn't want him to say yes. August looks at her oddly. Where the heck did that come from?
He wraps his arm around her shoulder and goes to lead her out, but she shoves him away. Beth knew if she got to close he'd have under his spell. And she wouldn't be mad. It was hard to stay mad at him.
He harshly grabs her arm and drags her outside. Then he drops his lunch onto the ground and starts angrily signing.
"What are you talking about?" he signs his motions quick. Charity case? Then he realized why she was saying that. She was there for his argument.
"I was there. I read it. To you I'm flawed even though the other day you were saying that I should sign instead of speaking. You are only with me because you feel bad. My parents left me and you would feel bad if you left me like they did. If you left me when I was deaf. Is that why you stayed? Because then it would mean that you were just as bad as my biological parents. Or was it because I'm disabled and felt like you needed to take care of me?" she signs going off on him. Her feelings were hurt and she was going to let him know that.
"No that's not what I meant. I think you are nervous about tomorrow and facing your parents. Let me take you home," August says gathering up his super late lunch.
"I'm not nervous! I'm angry. You think I'm disabled! That's why you are here! That's why you stayed and then you used my story! That was my story! Only for me to tell and you went and told people it! You think you are better than me because you can talk better. Because you aren't flawed like I am!" Beth signs.
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"Disabled? That I'm better than you? Do you have a clue how many nights me and my dad had when we felt left out of a conversation? Because my family is deaf! Because we didn't understand or could keep up with them. Two out of six of us are flawed. Two of us can hear perfectly and for most of my life it didn't make sense. It didn't make sense because they seemed cooler. I have never thought deaf people were disabled. Because I've seen them do the impossible. Like ignoring what people are saying about them behind their back. That's the impossible. They were so clueless and all my life I fought people. Defending my family. So don't you dare get all defensive on me. I know what to say. To your parents you were flawed and disabled. But not for a single second did I think that out of you," he signs back now just as angry as Beth.
Every sign he did was beautiful. Beth has never seen him sign this beautifully. She felt bad and August felt bad. He told her story when he shouldn't have. And she shouldn't have went off on him about how her parents thought of her.
"Come on. I'll take you home," he signs. Both of them still equally angry and was very slowly calming down.
Beth signs a thank you to him and then gets out of the car before he could sign anything back.
Beth had thought that tonight would be sleepless because of tomorrow. But all she could think of was August.
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