❤︎

Part 47

I sat at the counter of the restaurant, watching Max cooking. It was very obvious that he was trying his best to impress me with his skills. I had to admit that his cooking was really not bad – the salmon sashimi was delicately sliced and tender yet crispy and the miso soup was just right, neither too salty nor too tasteless. I really appreciate how hard he had been working to win me over these few days. Lost in my thoughts, I didn't realize that it was time for him to take his allocated break from work until he sat down next to me and refilled my cup with green tea.

"Penny for you thoughts?" He beamed at me.

"Max..." A pair of hopeful brown eyes looked into mine as my voice died away. I swallowed as my throat suddenly went dry and tried again. "Max, would you... would you please give me more time to consider your proposal?"

The light in those warm brown eyes died away, replaced by deep sadness. Then, his mouth curved into a smile again.

"Sure, Arthit. I'll wait for you – I always will."

His simple but sincere statement brought tears to my eyes. What did I do to deserve such loyalty?

"Thank you, Max. Thank you." I looked at him, forcing my trembling lips into a smile. There was a depth of emotion similar to despair in his brown eyes as he held my gaze for a long moment, then his hand slowly came up to touch my face as his face inclined down towards mine. My control snapped just as his lips were inches from mine.

"N-no! Kongpob!" I suddenly called out as we both froze, staring at each other. I saw the last traces of hope in those brown eyes die out before they closed as his face twisted in pain.

"I'm so sorry, Max. Forgive me! I'm so sorry! My heart doesn't belong to you, so I can't marry you. I'm soooooo sorry!!!" I looked at the deep pain etched on his features in sorrow and regret, before I spun round and ran out of the restaurant that had suddenly become claustrophobic.

It was raining cats and dogs outside, it was dark with no people around, perfectly matching my gloomy mood. I had left the house early in the morning and didn't have my umbrella with me, however, I could not stay in the restaurant a second longer. I ran out into the rain, letting the cold wetness seep through my clothes and calm my nerves.

After a while of aimless running, I slowed down to a walk – it was rather difficult to run in completely soaked clothes. I was beginning to feel the coldness sweep through my body as the chilly wind made the night even more unbearable. Still, I refused to focus on it. My thoughts automatically returned to Max and then... Kongpob Suthiluck.

How could I have screamed out Kongpob's name when Max tried to kiss me? No matter how hard I've tried, there was no way I could marry Max. In fact, I knew that I would never marry anyone else. How could I when there was only one person in my heart and mind?

With a sinking feeling in my heart, I realized that I would probably love Kongpob Suthiluck until the day I die. I would silently be watching from aside as he gets married one day and builds a beautiful family...

I heaved a sigh as I continued plodding on in the heavy rain.

When I reached the park nearby, I was walking with my head low, splashing my feet angrily through the rain, until I happened to look up as I brushed a lock of hair that was obstructing my vision from my face.

Am I...dreaming again?

My eyes widened in disbelief and I blinked a few times before rubbing my eyes, unwilling to believe what I was seeing. The vision in front of me did not vanish – Kongpob Suthiluck was standing on the path a little way ahead holding an umbrella, apparently waiting for something or someone.

"What... what are you doing here out in the rain?" I stammered in my shock as I walked towards him.

"Waiting for you." He answered low, the dark eyes looking up and down at me appraisingly. Almost automatically, Kongpob Suthiluck took a step forward and held the umbrella over both of us. I didn't know why he bothered because I was already soaked to the skin, although I had to admit that it was a nice gesture on his part.

However, what was he doing out here in the rain waiting for me? My forehead furrowed as I was completely puzzled by his out-of-ordinary behavior.

"Have you met with Max?" Uncharacteristically, he sounded angry and I could hear he was trying hard to control his voice.

My eyebrows rose so high that they almost disappeared under my fringe when I heard his abrupt question. He took my silence as a yes, "...So I heard that the idiot actually proposed to you?" The arrogance of his question took my breath away for a second.

"Yes, well at least someone still wants me..." I answered blandly, successfully hiding the pain in my heart from him.

"So?"

"So what?"

"So did you agree to marry him?" Now, he sounded impatient again.

Looking at his emotionless face, my blood started boiling. "Whatever my answer to him was is none of your business!" My voice was much louder than I had intended, I was near screaming at him over the rain, but couldn't hold back my emotions any longer. What right does he have to put me through this mockery? Just because he doesn't love me or want to marry me, doesn't mean that no one else would! I glared daggers at him.

"That's right," his voice was still perfectly calm, but something flickered behind those dark eyes as a slight frown appeared and his lips tightened in the way they did whenever he got upset with something.

Wait, Kongpob Suthiluck was...upset? 0_0 I was starting to get rather confused by his behavior as we kept walking slowly. I thought he would be extremely delighted to hear me being taken by another. He would finally get rid of me...wasn't this what he always wanted?

"Well," I decided to make him feel even better. "I'll be moving out of your house very soon. Then you can marry Vanessa and I'll marry Max. You won't ever have to see me again or worry about me bothering you." In spite of my fine intentions, my voice had grown a little unsteady towards the end of my speech and I quickly finished my sentence, swallowing the lump in my throat.

For a while, it was just silence between us. And the pounding sound of the rain hitting the umbrella covering us. It was dark and wind had gotten colder, and soon I was shivering in my soaked clothes.

"Do you like Max?"

My eyes widened at this unexpected question, but I quickly answered him, "O-of course I do! Max has always liked me since he first met me in junior high scho-"

But Kongpob interrupted me sharply before I could finish. "So you have to like someone simply because that person likes you!?" He asked in a challenging tone as he gave me a look that conveyed quite eloquently his opinion of my logic or intelligence.

We had stopped walking and our fight only grew both in volume and emotions.

"What on earth is wrong with that???" My voice was raising and I could feel the sting of hot tears in my eyes, but I didn't care anymore. "I mean it's far better than someone like me, who wasted six years of my life liking you, only to have you marry Vanessa in the end! I can't believe how stupid I am! You're right, you are right! Aren't you glad? I'm indeed the baka here..." I was screaming by now as more and more tears bubbled up in eyes and my hands balled into fists as I tried to hold them back.

"Calm down." Was Kongpob's sole rejoinder as he turned to face me.

"I will not! I'm an idiot! A perfect idiot for ever liking you..." And now, I was hysterical and completely overwhelmed. The next moment, my cheek was stinging from a painful pinch on it.

0_0

"What do you think you're doing, you asshole?" I shouted angrily at him, pressing my palm against my right cheek.

"Calming you down." He responded calmly, but his voice was on the verge of angry and controlling as he waved his fingers in front of my face threateningly, ready to pinch me again.

"So what if I'm getting hysterical? What I do is of no concern to you! Why are you here irritating the heck out of me when we have absolutely nothing more to do with each other?" By now, my cheeks were wet with tears and I didn't even care anymore. The anger, pain, disappointment, frustration, all the emotions had bubbled up to this moment and boy, did we fight. Almost like an old married couple.

"Because the one you like is me!" He yelled angrily, suddenly grabbing my wrist as I wiped the nonstop tears from my face. My fingers itched to pinch, slap, hurt him back with all my strength when our eyes met and I was arrogance in his dark eyes as he looked at me, his voice angry as he screamed at me, "You cannot like anyone else!"

I had never seen him so angry or emotional before...why the heck did he care so damn much??? Why was he confusing me so? :(

Again, nothing but the sound of merciless rain hitting the pavement reached our ears as we stood in front of each other, breathing heavy and I could feel Kongpob's piercing gaze on me even when I turned away from him.

Stay strong, Arthit. Just finish it once and for all.

After a while of listening to the sound of angry rain and my pounding heart, I raised my head and stared at him defiantly. "Fine, I admit it! The one I like is you, but I can't do anything about it because you don't like me at all!! Are you happy now? Did you have to trample on my pride after breaking my heart?" I was gasping for air as my heart filled with pain and I pulled my arm from his grasp, my shoulders slumping in defeat as sorrow displaced the last traces of anger. I was no longer trying to hide the fact that tears were pouring down my cheeks.

Gosh, how can he still be so mean to me...after all these years, Kongpob Suthiluck still hates me. And it fucking hurts.

For a long moment, we stood there staring at each other in tense silence. I was breathing heavy, sobbing uncontrollably and then, I felt suffocated by Kongpob's presence, so I turned to walk away from him, welcoming the cold drops of rain soaking my skin once more.

"Arthit, stop!"

I couldn't take more than a few steps when Kongpob's angry voice bellowed behind me and I could hear him run after me to grab my wrist and stop me. He spun me around to face him and I stared into his dark eyes shimmering with in-explainable emotion as he suddenly let go of the umbrella covering us and let it drop on the pavement.

Before I could rant out in anger again, he took a step closer to me, so close that my nose nearly brushed against his and my entire body stiffened with shock as if in slow motion, he reached out and cupped my face in his hands, wiping my tears away gently with his fingers.

Oh god, why is he so gentle suddenly...oh gosh, don't...don't touch me.

"Listen to me, Arthit..." He whispered so close I could feel his hot breath ghost over my mouth with every word he spoke. All of a sudden, I was frozen, my knees feeling weak.

"You like me..." His voice was suddenly so soft and damn, I would be lying if my heart didn't skip a beat at his next words, "You cannot like anyone else...ever." His tone was pleading and through my tears, I saw his eyes darkening with some kind of emotion as he gazed down at me, his eyes so deep and...warm they took my breath away.

And then, his right hand still cupping my cheeks in a soft hold, in one quick movement his left arm slipped around my waist, and I was pulled tightly against his body. My eyes widened impossibly large, but before I could react, his long fingers traced the contour of my face so gently as if seeing me for the first time and then my world started spinning when his warm lips suddenly came crushing down on mine.

Oh gosh, ohgosh, ohgosh...

All my anger was replaced by fluttering butterflies soaring in my chest and the sweet tingle running down my spine as I almost automatically twined my arms around his neck and kissed him back.

Whatever this crazy moment was...whatever caused this moment of confusion and weakness, I wanted to cherish it as long as I could, so I closed my hands and allowed Kongpob's soft and warmth take me to places I'd never been before. Through my foggy mind, I could feel Kongpob's arm tighten around me as his other hand slid to my neck to cradle my head in a soft hold and then, well, then we were kissing even more passionately than before, the raindrops making our kiss wet and...special.

I didn't feel cold anymore. At all.

Did I ever say that Kongpob's kisses were as cold as his words? If I ever did, I will take that back. I was in heaven as his lips moved gently yet forcefully against mine, coaxing an instinctive response out of me that I had not known I was capable of and my heart soar with such happiness and delight that I felt dizzy.

Please, if this is a dream, let me never wake up again...please, I am happiest right at this moment.

When we finally broke apart, we were both panting and I was still feeling a little dizzy. And confused, gosh was I confused. I was so confused...

To my surprise, Kongpob's arm remained possessively around my waist, supporting me, holding me close to him, and I was really grateful for that, because my trembling legs were threatening to give way anytime.

What the hell had just happened?

❤︎

God, I had never lost control like that before. When I saw the anger, pain and sorrow in his eyes, the endless tears coursing down his face and heard the telltale break in his voice as he told me he still loved me after everything I'd put him through...but that I didn't feel anything for him, something in me snapped and I wanted to do anything to prove him otherwise.

The fear of losing Arthit...to someone else, was just unbearable and I could feel the wild lion roar inside me, yelling at me to effing do something and stop being so damn emotionless all the time!

And in that tense moment I remembered the old golden saying, "Actions speak louder than words...", something that I often reprimanded Arthit for, but for the first time, knew this was the right thing to do, what my heart had truly craved for and...

I just did it. I dropped my umbrella, letting us both soak under the cold rain, before grabbing him abruptly in the middle of his sentence and for the first time, laying my feelings out to him in the open.

"You like me..." I spoke in barely a whisper, so close to his face, our noses brushed together and I felt like my heart was about to pound out of my chest. There was a slight tremble in my next words as I pleaded to him with all my heart, "You cannot like anyone else...ever."

I looked deep into his eyes, those impossibly large doe-like eyes shimmering with so many tears, I seemed to be drowning in their beauty, but gosh, how could I not have realized this before - how damn handsome Arthit was and how deeply in love I had fallen with him...

Pabo, you are such a pabo, Kongpob...you really are the biggest idiot here! You almost let him go because of your selfish stubbornness...

Never again will I fail you, Arthit. Never again will I hurt you. Never again will I let you go...

And then, as I cupped his face and held him by his waist, Arthit looked at me with those deep doe-like eyes, my reflection shimmering inside his confused gaze, and I knew exactly what my heart wanted to do...

Without hesitation, I tightened my hold around him, pressing his soaked body flush against my warm one and before he could say anything, I silenced him with a demanding hot kiss.

I didn't realize how much I had longed for this moment until I tasted his sweet lips again. The deafening sound of the heavy rain or the cold wind stayed deaf to my ears as I let my emotions run wild and claim his lips over and over, to my heart's content and hoping this kiss would be a start towards a proper apology.

Cause there was no way I was going to let Arthit go to someone else. Arthit belonged to me. And finally, I had gotten it through my stubborn head.

Even as we broke apart for a breath of much-needed air, the dazed look in his eyes and swollen lips made me want to kiss him senseless once again. I barely managed to control myself, noticing for the first time how Arthit was shivering. I wasn't sure if it was because of the cold or the shock of what had just happened, but it only made me hug him closer to ensure him that this wasn't a dream.

"Arthit, don't like anyone else, ever. You are only allowed to like me," I said huskily, the trembling tone of my voice betraying the fact that I had been equally, if not more, affected by our kiss as he leaned his head on my shoulder.

"It's the second time..." he muttered dreamily as my arms tightened around his waist again. It felt so natural to be holding him – Arthit's frame fit into my arms perfectly and I never wanted to let go of him again.

"No, it's the third time." I corrected him, placing a soft kiss on his forehead and a content smile spread over my lips. Gosh, I was the happiest in that moment.

"Third...t-third???" He was spluttering in confusion as he backed a little from me, tilting his head to stare at me with confusion, his pale cheeks adorably flushed red. I chuckled at his cute expression. Gosh, Arthit, you truly are adorable.

"Shush," I couldn't refrain myself from kissing his puffy cheek, marveling at how soft it felt. "You can stop counting now." He stopped his attempts to speak as I held him close to me again. Yes, I seem to have a rather possessive nature towards Arthit, I must admit. With a contented sigh, he laid his head against my chest and despite the pouring rain, all was well again.

After a while, I pulled out of our embrace and caught hold of his hand, interlocking our fingers, "Come on. Let's go home."