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Part 46

"Arthit, may I come in?"

"Of course, Dad!" I looked up from my notes when my dad entered my room, seeing an extremely somber expression on his face. Immediately, I started to feel very uneasy, "What...what happened, Dad? Did anyone get sick or..."

"Oh no no, nothing like that! But I do have something very important to discuss with you."

I looked at him nervously, waiting for him to continue. His serious tone and expression was starting to scare me. "Arthit, I think it's time for us to leave the Kongpob household."

My eyes widened. This was definitely not something I had expected. Almost as a reflex action, I opened my mouth and started protesting automatically, "...but Dad ..." He held out his hand, gesturing for me to keep quiet and hear him out. I shut my mouth again.

"I know of your feelings for Kongpob..." Of course he had to, everyone we were acquainted with knew about them. "...However, if you continue in this stubborn unrequited love fashion, then no one will be hurt but yourself. You know that Vanessa is as good as married to Kongpob and Kongpob has already agreed to it..." I flinched but he continued relentlessly, "I think it's time for you to forget Kongpob. I just wish to see you happy, so you need to get over him Arthit, for your own happiness. So first, let's leave this place with some pride still intact. One must know when it is time to let go, especially of something that isn't yours. And as you know, this house is also not ours..."

My head bowed as tears brimmed in my eyes and I nodded silently. I knew that everything my father said was true, yet every single word of his stabbed into my bleeding heart. Despite the pain I was thankful for my dad for being so honest with me. He was the last person I needed to open my eyes to the cruelty of the world and just...give up on Kongpob Suthiluck.

Indeed, this was the one and only solution, except why is it always so damn hard to let go?

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A couple of days after my conversation with Dad, I was on a date again with Max. We were having a peaceful picnic by the lake, gazing at the shimmering waters and the fish swimming in hordes just beneath the surface.

"So, what shall we do next?" I was feeling pretty rested after two hours and was ready for some action.

"Arthit, w-w-will you marry me?"

My empty cup fell from nerveless fingers as I spun around and stared at Max, eyes wide with shock and a cold shiver running down my spine. There was an extremely serious expression on his face that I had never seen before. As I remained silent he asked me again, "Are you willing to marry me, Arthit? When you fall in love with someone, you don't need to think about why. You just know it. I've loved you and only you since high school. You know that I have never looked at another person ever since I first saw you. There is only one person in the world who I want to be beside me for the rest of my life – and it's you, Arthit. Will you please marry me?"

I stared at the dark eyes that were looking pleadingly at me. There was a kind of awkward yet sincere emotion in their depths that touched me deeply and paralyzed my tongue – somehow I could not utter the refusal that I had so often callously given him in reply to his previous demands. But after all, he had previously never asked me in earnest to marry him. Oh gosh...

I swallowed nervously and stared at my hands, not knowing what to say. As the silence between us grew heavy, his face drooped in disappointment and he sighed, "You don't have to answer me now. I know this proposal is rather unexpected. I'll give you all the time you need to slowly think it over, okay?"

I finally found my voice, "Max, I really don't know what to say. I'm very flattered but this is so sudden. I promise to give you an answer by the end of this week, okay?"

Hope flared in his eyes at my answer.

Suddenly, I felt very guilty for leading him on – I suspected that my answer could only be no, today, end of this week, months or even years later. I felt nothing but brotherly friendship towards him. However, he appeared to be delighted simply because I agreed to consider his proposal carefully.

I heaved a sigh. Why must things be so complicated? Why is there someone so devoted to me when I don't love him, but the one who holds my heart couldn't care less about me?

Yes, I agree this is a quite common scenario in real life, but it does not lessen the pain of the characters involved, simply because they know that they are not alone in this. In fact, I would rather be suffering alone. I am no sadist - the thought of other unfortunate souls suffering in the same way does not reduce my agony in the least.

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"So have you decided what your answer will be?" Aya asked with concern after hearing the entire story from me the next day. May was also waiting for my answer with bated breath.

"I don't think it's possible – I like him only as a friend. We grew up together, he's like a brother to me. I can't think of him in romantic way, so it's not fair to lead him on." I spread my hands helplessly. They both shook their heads silently, but made no further comment.

Of course we all knew the other reason why I couldn't consider Max as a romantic partner, but no one wanted to point out loud the obvious...

...that my stupid, hopeless, relentless heart always belonged to one cold-hearted person, no matter what.

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"Dad, will you be happy if I marry Max?" I suddenly asked my father when I was watching him preparing dinner in the kitchen that evening.

"What?" He spun around, forgetting completely about the meal that he was cooking.

I took in his stunned expression before speaking softly, "Max proposed to me today, Dad."

After a long pause, he turned back to the frying pan and continued stirring the vegetables. I waited patiently as he gathered his thoughts. Finally he spoke up, "I guess that boy is okay. He has his good points as well and I know he really likes you. It's really up to you, Arthit. The most important thing is for you to understand if you like him enough to marry him and be with him for the rest of your life. I don't want you to make the wrong choice just because you want to move on." He smiled at me softly, knowing very well the depths of my inner turmoil...

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"So what about this show then?" I asked thoughtfully. Max bent over my shoulder to look at the newspaper that I was holding as we both continued walking towards the cinema.

"I don't really mind," he shrugged after taking a look at the title and movie description. "I'm fine with whatever you choose."

At that moment, as we were not paying any attention to where we were going, we almost collided into another couple.

"Whoa sorry..." Max paused and I looked up to see Kongpob Suthiluck and Vanessa standing in front of us. My heart clenched involuntarily when I saw how good he looked in his casual blue shirt with sleeves rolled halfway up his arms and his white jeans. Vanessa was looking very pretty as usual in a yellow summer dress.

Gosh, out of all times, we had to run into each other during our dates!!! I wanted to scream.

"Oh hi! Max, this is Vanessa. Vanessa, my friend Max." I made the introductions hurriedly. Max was staring a curiously at Vanessa and I realized that he remembered me telling him that she was Kongpob Suthiluck's fiancee.

"Nice to meet you! Arthit, would you both like to join us? We are going to the Studio Armastan Sind Mitte art exhibition." Vanessa smiled at both of us, whilst Kongpob simply nodded slightly without any expression. Innocent and naive Vanessa was the only one in this situation who had no idea what was really going on...

"Sorry the Studio Arm-what exhibition?" Max looked really puzzled. I had never heard of that exhibition as well. It seemed to be by an international artist. Before Vanessa could provide an explanation, Kongpob Suthiluck cut in.

"Forget it, Vanessa. Let these two be by themselves. They're on a different intellectual level compared to us. They wouldn't be able to appreciate the exhibition. Why force such uncultured people into surroundings where they would suffer?" He smirked at both of us.

Awesome, the cruel Kongpob was back again.

"What do you mean by that?" Max's face turned bright red in anger and I could feel my blood starting to boil as well. How dare Kongpob Suthiluck look down on us like that!

"Stop treating us as fools!" I yelled at him angrily.

"Oh excuse me, did I say anything wrong? I'm simply stating facts." Kongpob added with a cold tone, while Vanessa stared at him shocked, obviously it was the first time she witnessed Kongpob being so...emotional towards anything.

I wanted to slap that stupid smirk off his face.

"Let's go, Max. Some rude people believe that their intellectual level is different from ours. I'm finding someone's presence here rather suffocating."

We turned and were just about to leave them, when Kongpob's mocking voice reached our ears. "I must say, however, that I believe both of you are extremely compatible, intellectual-wise."

I turned, glared at Kongpob Suthiluck and stormed off with Max before he could say anything else.

How dare he insult us both like that???

Ugh...this felt like our high-school bickering all over again!

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After watching Arthit rush off in a huge temper in secret amusement, I turned to see Vanessa staring at me with a shocked expression on her face. She was looking at me as if she had never seen me before. Damn! Arthit and her idiotic friend always succeed in bringing out the worst of me.

Or was it my true self and honest feelings?

Aaah damnit, I need to fix this!

"Don't worry, I'll never treat you this way." I quickly tried to reassure Vanessa as I gave her a slight smile. However, that incident had somehow affected her deeply and I noticed that she had a rather thoughtful and sad feel about her for the rest of the day.

I wondered what she was thinking...?

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" ...Kongpob is now an adult..."

I heard my dad's voice as soon as I stepped into the house. Apparently my parents were having yet another one of their little talks about me.

I simply sighed and went upstairs to my room. What was new anyway? My mother is still obviously not reconciled with the fact that all her devious plans regarding Arthit and myself are being disrupted by my marriage with Vanessa...

It's just business marriage...with clearly bigger benefits for my dad's company...

Why can't no one see this?

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"Hey, Kongpob!"

I nodded to Mike who was doing warm ups at the tennis courts. I found my eyes wandering around the court looking for a certain person who was apparently missing. That was...odd.

"Where's Arthit?"

Mike lifted a quizzical eyebrow at my blunt question. Well, I had never asked about Arthit before, but the question spilled over my lips before I could stop myself. Ugh, I really need to stop letting my emotions run my tongue.

"He's been skipping tennis practice quite frequently ever since he started going out with Max."

My eyes widened slightly at this piece of information. How come I hadn't noticed it before? Wait...how many times had they gone out together already???

"Hey, I think this time he has really given up on you," he winked at me and started laughing. For a moment, I had the greatest urge to smash my fist into his laughing face. Taking a deep breath to calm myself down, I walked off leaving the clown still laughing at his own joke. I was definitely not in the mood to play tennis anymore.

As I left the tennis courts, I had to quickly sidestep two girls who were chattering animatedly by the gates.

"Oh sorry... hey it's Kongpob!" I recognized them both immediately – they were Arthit's best friends.

"Hi." I nodded to them, slightly surprised at my decision to talk to them. Or was it curiosity that urged me instead?

"Did you hear the latest news?" The short hair girl – May I think was her name – was looking at me with an unfriendly gleam in her eyes. Before waiting for a respond, she continued hurriedly, "Max proposed to Arthit!"

My entire body stiffened in shock.

"Yes, isn't it so brave of him?" Aya was smiling dreamily. "It really takes a lot of courage to ask a someone you love to marry you when there is a high possibility that he may not reciprocate your feelings...But Max has been in love with Arthit for many years now, I'm sure Arthit will rethink his feelings for him and accept his..."

I found myself running away from them as fast as I could, unwilling to hear any more on that subject.

How could Max propose to Arthit???

Doesn't he know that Arthit has no feelings for him at all???

I mean it's only understandable that he feels sorry for his troubles, but to take advantage of the situation...

And Arthit can't be so stupid as to actually consider his proposal!!??

No way...

There's no way he would accept him...right?

I felt a cold shiver down my spine as I realized that I might be losing the one person I truly cared about in my life. There was no knowing what that Baka would do in his vulnerable state. What if Arthit acts thoughtlessly and is so silly as to actually accept his proposal?

No...I can't let that happen...

For the first time, I felt icy fingers of dread wrapping themselves around my heart...

Arthit can't accept him!

Arthit loves me and not Max! He loves me! And only me!

He can't love anyone else but me...

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