《Not Never (Complete)》Chapter 22 - Part 1

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All they had shared forgotten as Ashley tried to make sense of what that meant. She sat up pulling the sheet up to shield her nakedness.

"How did that happen?" she asked, trying to understand how it could have happened.

"I don't know. It's never happened before."

It registered with a brutal coldness that what they had just shared together was something he had done with other girls. It took something from the moment that she would never recover.

"What do we do now?" She bit her nail, trying to figure out what they needed to do to ensure she wasn't going to be a statistic of teenage pregnancy.

She couldn't even comprehend what that would do to her plans to move out to get a place of her own and support herself. A baby. The thought scrambled her brains. It was something she had never contemplated happening. Well not until she was much older.

"I need to think," he said leaving the bed to discard the condom. When he returned he picked up his boxers and slid them on.

"Mad," she murmured, her mind still reeling. Instead of laying wrapped up in each other's arms still enjoying the remnants of their union they were both trying to navigate a serious mistake that would have far reaching consequences.

He sat down beside her and put his arm around her. "It's okay Rae. We'll sort it out."

He briefly kissed her forehead and she leaned her head against his shoulder. She trusted him.

Worry set in and she couldn't relax. Maddox got up to get his phone. She knew he was trying to figure out what to do next. Neither of them wanted the responsibility of a baby.

"I think you need to take the morning after pill," he murmured like he was reading it as he spoke.

She felt alarmed. Would she be able to get it without her parents finding out? This couldn't be happening, could it?

He sighed. "I'll go first thing in the morning and get it for you."

His eyes settled on her.

"Let's just try and relax. Tomorrow we'll sort this out." He joined her in the bed.

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"My parents can't know," she said, fearful of how her parents would react if they found out she had slept with Maddox.

She could already her the shrill of her mother's voice lecturing her on all the reasons on why being a teenage mother was not easy.

"Don't worry. This is something we can handle." He hugged her to him as a restless silence settled between them. He pressed a kiss to the side of forehead. The warmth of his embrace made her feel more secure in a spiralling situation. She leaned into him hoping that he was right. "You need to trust me."

Didn't her actions show him that she trusted him more than anyone? She had convinced herself she would never be able to trust a guy, especially after what happened with Logan and Jim. She trusted him more than she had ever trusted anyone but that didn't ease the fear of a repercussion from their actions.

Although her parents had been a little older when she had been born, they were a prime example of what happened when you had a baby before you were ready. She believed they had rushed into a marriage neither of them had been prepared for because of her.

As she lay beside Maddox that evening she lay there thinking about the monumental step she had taken with him. Somehow she had always thought she would feel different but she didn't. There was still some tenderness but other than that she didn't feel any different.

The steadiness of Maddox's breathing tickled her shoulder as he held her while he slept. Unlike him, she had tossed and turned. Sleep hadn't come for her. She lay wake staring at the ceiling trying to calm the panic over the failed contraception. This happened all the time to people and they sorted it out. She had to try and keep herself calm.

At three in the morning, she slipped from the bed and pulled Maddox's shirt on before heading downstairs to the kitchen. She wasn't sure what she was looking. She switched on the light and opened the fridge. She decided on some milk. It took her few cupboards before she found a glass and poured some.

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She sat down and hunched over the glass like it held every answer she needed. Her hands raked into her hair. She rested her head against her hands.

Every time she thought about what happened her stomach tightened in nervousness. She barely had her life together, there was no way she could be responsible for another life. She was far too young to even consider something so monumental. The thought took her breath from her lungs and left her breathless, like she was on the verge of a panic attack.

Fisting her hands she rode the fear trying to concentrate on the milky liquid before her. "It'll be fine," she whispered.

A sound by the doorway drew her attention from the glass to where Maddox stood watching her. He was dressed in a pair of sweatpants, his chest bare. He looked like he had just woken up.

"You okay?" he asked, scratching his chest.

"You want the truth?" she managed to say, unable to pretend her world didn't feel like it was spinning out of control and there was very little she could do to stop it.

He nodded. "Always."

Maddox wasn't one to beat around the bush and shouldered the word head on.

"I'm scared." Her voice shook.

His features softened and he came to sit beside her. He took her hands in his. "I know you don't trust people but you got to trust me. We'll handle this first thing in the morning, you take a tablet and it's handled."

He made it sound so simple.

She gripped his hands while she nodded.

He smiled. Her heart stuttered momentarily. Basking in his confidence she felt her anxiousness begin to fade. She was reassured she wasn't alone in this.

"Come on." He pulled her to her feet and led her back to his room.

He pulled the covers back and she got into the bed.

He switched the light off and got into the bed with her.

She liked how the shirt smelled of him. It was comforting and reassuring on a level.

She moved closer to lay her head on his chest and he held her. "I like this," he murmured.

Her heart did a funny summersault in her chest and she felt a warmth spread through her chest. "I like it too." She sounded breathless.

He had that way of making her feel like she was on the edge of the cliff, feeling the wind blow against her face. Her heart racing, feeling the blood pump through her body. She felt alive.

If anyone had told her she would have fallen so hard and fast for Maddox Larson she would have told them they were crazy. But here they were.

She was the crazy one. Doing things out of character for a boy she had only really known for a few weeks. Was this what love did? Did it make people do things completely out of character?

There was also that saying that love was blind. Was there some truth to it? Did her feelings for Maddox make it impossible to see whether it was good for her or not?

He was the first to fall asleep. For a little while she watched him sleep, and breathed in him trying to remember every moment of her first time with Maddox. Despite the panic of a possible mistake she didn't want to forget all the things that had led her to this point.

She had been drifting by, feeling like she was missing something. And for the first time she didn't feel like she was missing anything. With Maddox she felt she had everything she needed at that moment in time.

Things would inevitably change, like seasons.

She was realistic enough to know they didn't have a future past high school but she wanted to savour every moment they had. She didn't want to give up the feeling he had woken up inside of her, giving her life new meaning.

Expelling a breath she snuggled closer. In his sleep he put his arm around her and held her. She smiled and then closed her eyes.

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