Even when Ashley took a break to have some dinner with her parents over a strained silence she didn't allow herself to check her phone. She negotiated that she would only allow herself to have a look once she had finished all of her homework.

Only when she bagged the last piece of homework did she reach for her phone.

There was a message from Maddox. Her heart soared and she took a deep breath. She hated how the smallest gesture from him could have such an impact on her. It was dangerous and addictive.

Hi

Just 'Hi'? She had at least expected more. Feeling a little unsettled she debated replying. She checked the time, it was close to seven already.

Her fingers hesitated a little before she replied.

Hey

This time her phone remained in her hands as she waited for him to respond. It took a few minutes before three dots appeared and then a message appeared.

What are you doing?

She hesitated for a moment, trying to catch her breath.

Homework

She put her phone down on the bed and walked over to her window before turning back to watch her phone from where she stood. Her heart felt jittering, and she hated the tightness of her stomach as she waited anxiously for the screen of her phone to light up.

When it did she walked over to pick it up to read the message. This feeling, the flutter in her stomach and the way her heart seemed to kick in her chest was foreign and she didn't know how to handle it. It was the same feeling standing with the wind blowing across her face as she looked over the cliff.

But when she stepped back the feeling dissipated, with Maddox it didn't. Just the thought of him was enough to cause the same reaction. It was addictive and dangerous. Something that was difficult to resist. It went against the control she knew she needed to exert to reach her goal for independence. She didn't have time for teenage things, like falling in love. No, she needed to be responsible and keep her mind focussed on what she had to attain. But no amount of arguing could sway her thoughts from Maddox.

You wanna hang out after school tomorrow at my house?

She typed in her answer quickly.

Sure.

Maybe she needed to play it cool. Would he lose interest if she was too accommodating? It was all so confusing. It had been much easier to handle Logan, there had been nothing at stake. It wasn't the same with Maddox. She really liked him but she wasn't even sure there was a place for him in her life if things did work out between them. If they lasted until the end of high school, where did they go from there?

Would he be going to college? She felt like she was reaching to far into the future, something she had never found herself thinking about when it came to boys. With Logan she had never looked past the present.

What was she doing? They had technically only been hanging out for a day and she was already leaping into a future that may not happen.

See you then.

She put her phone down and let out a shaky breath. Excitement, anxiousness and other feelings she struggled to define twisted inside her.

You're just hanging out, she told herself as she paced the length of her room trying to calm her nervousness.

She was determined not to become one of those girls whose world revolved around a guy. He wasn't the only aspect in her life that was important. She still had to keep to her plan to give herself freedom from her home environment as soon as she could. Concentrating on that was the most important thing, it was more important than how Maddox made her feel and it was important for her to remember that.

With her mind made up she got ready for bed and was determined to resist the need to message him again.

That night she tossed and turned for most of the night, never quite getting comfortable enough to get some shut eye so by morning she was more than grumpy.

She knew it was the turmoil surrounding Maddox that had kept her up for most of the night and she resented it. At least with Logan she hadn't cared enough to have lost any sleep over it. But Logan didn't make her feel the way Maddox did.

There were moments when she wished she didn't feel so strongly for Maddox. With her feelings came a loss of control she wasn't used to and she didn't know how to navigate it. So far she hadn't been doing a particularly good job.

At least she didn't have to worry about cheerleading any longer. Quitting had freed up some time in her afternoons which would make her life a little less complicated.

She rubbed her temple as she at the last of her breakfast. She sighed as she got her bag and headed for the door. The drive to school was quick and she parked her car. She didn't see Diane or Sally but she did see Jasper and Ross. No Maddox. She berated herself for thinking about him, again.

As she made her way to the entrance of the school Jasper walked over to her.

"Hey," he said and she mirrored his greeting. "Hey."

"You good?" he asked.

She gave a one armed shrug as she stopped.

"Yeah, I guess." She rubbed her temple. "What's up Jasper?"

They weren't really friends so for him to come up to talk to her was unexpected.

"I heard a rumour."

Dread crept up in her. Not another rumour. She had just survived the last one.

"Uh...what rumour?" She wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer. Nothing good came from rumours.

"I heard you tipped a drink on Jim." His eyes studied her.

That felt like such a long time ago. Since the incident her path hadn't crossed Jim's again.

"Is it true?" he asked.

She shrugged again. "It was a while ago." But she still got a kick out of his reaction when she thought back to it. He had deserved it, there was no question about that.

"It's true." It was a statement rather than a question.

She nodded. "He was being a jerk, he deserved it."

"What did he do Ash?"

Ash. It was the first time Jasper had ever called her that. It was almost a representation of an closeness that hadn't been there before.

"Why are you asking Jasper?" she asked, unsure of why it mattered now.

He studied her for a moment before he looked over his shoulder at Ross who was watching them. "I wanted to make sure what is circulating is true."

That didn't sit well in her chest and she shifted.

"What did you hear?" she asked softly, swallowing hard hating how the fear of what had happened the last time creep up into her throat.

He shoved his hands into his jeans. "I heard he was talking about wanting to take you to bed."

Her eyes lowered. "It was after I broke up with Logan and he was being an asshole. His ego was dented and he probably wanted to get back at me." She sighed as she raised her eyes back to his. "He had told his friends we had slept together but it wasn't true."

It felt weird telling Jasper something so personal.

"Jim was being his usual asshole self. He was going on about how he had heard I was dynamite in bed. I tried to control my temper but when he said he would rock my world I lost it."

"He said that?" Jasper frowned.

She nodded. "He did."

A quietness descended between the two of them.

"I got to go," she murmured, catching sight of Diane.

"Sure. See you around," he said before he turned to walk back to Ross. Her eyes met Ross and he nodded in her direction. She smiled.

Then she heard a car pull up and watched as Maddox unfolded his tall frame from the driver's side. Her heart galloped in her chest, leaving her breathless.

For a fraction of a second their gazes touched before she was left standing there wondering if it had even happened.

It left her wondering if Maddox was into her at all.