《Not Never (Complete)》Chapter 14 - Part 1

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Ashley heard footsteps before she watched Maddox step out of the trees. Her heart skipped and sputtered.

What was he doing here? Slowly, she stood and dusted the grass from her jeans under his watchful gaze. Her heart sprinted at the sight of him and it made it difficult to catch her breath.

"I thought I would find you here." He studied her while she stood unable to string a sentence together. His presence had a way of scrambling any rational thoughts.

She didn't know what to say.

"You ready to talk yet?" he asked softly, his eyes watching her closely.

She pressed her lips together. She didn't want to talk about her parents with anyone. And besides what was the point, it wasn't going to change anything.

"How long has it been going on?" he asked, straight to the point.

There was a part of her that had hoped he wouldn't bring it up. Talking about her parents and all that was wrong with their marriage wasn't something she felt comfortable discussing with anyone. She hadn't even told her close friends.

She gave him a one arm shrug. "I don't want to talk to about," she murmured, unable to pull her eyes from his.

She wanted to pull the curtains closed and allow no one to see but he persisted in a way no one had before.

He frowned, shoving his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. "Is that why you didn't message me or return my calls?"

There was no point in lying so she nodded her head slowly.

He studied her. "There are a lot of people with difficult home environments."

She gave him a skeptical look. She hadn't met anyone who had anything close or worse than she did.

"You aren't the only one. I'm not here to judge. Parents fight, it isn't something you need to feel ashamed of."

But that was the thing it wasn't just a fight here and there. She was watching from the sidelines watching the inevitable decline of her parents' marriage and there was nothing she could do about it.

It was another glaring thing to show that her life was anything but perfect. Funny how people saw her and what was real. Completely different.

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She didn't like how he could reach her deep down inside unlike anyone else. It was dangerous and if she felt any self preservation she would get as far away from his as possible but her legs wouldn't budge. Something stronger than she could fight kept her right where she stood.

"If there are so many, name one." She waited, confrontationally.

There had been a few times she had thought about the possibility with some counselling they would be able to make things work but she had quickly realised that her parents just weren't meant to be together and they had to figure that out themselves.

Most kids would be fearful of a divorce and tearing up of the family but she knew she would feel would only feel relief so she wouldn't have to listen to them fight anymore. She wanted some peace, was that so much to ask for?

It had been going on for so long, she couldn't remember a time when her parents had been happy together. All that remained now was simmering anger, jealousy.

"I can't say who. But the thing is you're not alone. There are a lot of things that happen behind closed doors." He shrugged.

She shifted, feeling a little nervous under his direct gaze. She felt more vulnerable to him. Not only had he caught her in a private moment when she had wanted to be alone, he had also discovered her trying home life.

"Like I said. I don't want to talk about it." She held firm on a subject she wasn't going to open up to him about.

She bet his parents were one of those happy couples that you could just tell were still in love. She was convinced he had no idea of what she had to endure each day. Only someone who experienced the same would know the toll it had on her.

He gave her a slight inclination of his head. "Then we don't talk about to."

Now that it was dealt with and the line was firmly drawn on what was out of bounds she relaxed her stance slightly. She dropped her gaze to the ground feeling unsettled.

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She watched his boots come into view and she lifted her eyes to meet his.

"I feel like your so hesitant to let anyone in." His eyes drifted slowly over her face before he touched her cheek with his fingers. "Why is that Rae?"

Her eyes couldn't leave his. Rae. No one called her by her surname.

"What happened to Ash?" she asked softly, staring deep into his eyes.

"Ash refers to something burnt out and dead. That's nothing like you." His words were deep and soul touching.

"So Rae is better?" she found herself asking.

He smiled. It was an instant hit to her heart and her breath caught. "Rae reminds me of a ray of sunshine."

"So I make you hot and sweaty?" It was supposed to tease him but his eyes held hers with a intensity that surprised her and she felt an uncomfortable heat caused not by the sun but by the boy who was standing in front of her.

He smirked. "Something like that."

She swallowed hard. If he believed she was like other girls he had been with he was going to find out she wasn't. She wet her lips tentatively trying to find the right words to set him straight.

"I'm not like the other girls...uh you might have dated...been with...." None of her thoughts came out her mouth the way she had intended and she sounded like a blubbering idiot. Her chest rising and falling fast. She felt so out of her depth with him and it was scary but exhilarating. Like standing on the edge of a cliff feeling the wind blow against her face.

"How are you different Rae?" He asked, his eyes seeing deeper than she wanted to reveal.

She shifted slightly feeling the heat in her cheeks. "I'm not going to just...going to sleep with you."

He frowned. "Is this what you think this is all about?" His words had a serious edge to them and she found herself nodding.

"It's what all guys are after." Fresh in her mind was her horrible encounter with Jim, Logan's friend at the diner and his comments.

He pulled a hand through his head and shook his head. "Make no mistake Rae I find you very attractive but this is not just what this is about. Do I want to kiss you? Yes. If things go further at some stage I'd be on board with it as long as it's something you're ready for."

She bit her lip. "You have girls falling at your feet." Just remembering the girls at his house was enough to reinforce the thought. "I bet you could have any girl you wanted."

He shrugged. "What is this about Rae? There is something you aren't telling me." His eyes narrowed as he studied her.

She didn't want to tell him she had never been with a guy before. He would probably run in the opposite direction.

"I'm not ready for a physical relationship," she murmured, hoping that would be sufficient to deter him.

He studied her for a few moments.

"Did something happen for you to feel that way?" His jaw twitched. "Did Logan do something?" There was a fierce glint in his eye.

She shook her head. "No not at all...it's just I'm not ready."

He studied her for a few moments. "You think I'm only after sex." He frowned.

This time she shrugged. "Isn't every guy?"

"You don't give guys much credit, do you? You don't get it do you Rae? Sex I can get from any girl."

Most guys that said something like that were probably being egotistical but it was the truth in Maddox's case. Just remembering all the girls who had been at the house when she had briefly stopped by to drop of his class notes.

"So what do you want from me?" She asked tentatively with a frown.

"I like being around you." His eyes held hers. She was transfixed.

She liked being around him too but didn't voice it.

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