When the stream had ended, Anja was adamant about showing me her lyrics. She always had a tendency to look for validation in other people, even if it was little things. We sat together on my bed as she started showing me the lyrics. You could see the scribbles from where she wrote and rewrote lines. She made cute notes on the sides and got embarrassed when I noticed them. I fell in love, with the song. I kept telling myself that.

"Can you sing it for me?" I asked.

"Yeah." She pulled her legs up to sit completely on the bed and cleared her throat.

"I reminisce about a past life.

Things change, I get it, 'cause nothing lasts right?

Yeah, and I was thinking 'bout her last night.

Scrolling through our memories, debating 'bout our last times.

Ay, for a minute, we was cool.

Then we flew just a lil' too close to the sun.

Now we finished, now we through.

Guess we knew one day we would have to grow up.

20 hours in an old Ford.

Across the Midwest, thinking, what for?

Drove 20 hours, but it's hopeless.

Across the Midwest, what a road trip."

"Wow. That's- Anja I love that."

"Really? I was worried about it not matching yours."

"No, it's amazing. Everything you do is great, and I like the Icarus reference."

She started playing with the papers in her hand, smiling as beautiful as ever. Biting her lip from nerves. God, I want to kiss you when you're like this.

"Anja, can I tell you something?"

"Mhm." I could see the pure happiness in her eyes, glowing as she looked up at me. It made me feel so warm. I loved knowing I could make her smile like that. No one had made me feel like this in a long time.

"I probably shouldn't tell you this but I've been thinking about it a lot. I really li-" Then my phone went off, ruining the moment. "Sorry, it's my mom. One second." I walked out of the room and picked up. "What's up?"

"Hey, Puddy. I got off work early today and was wondering if you would come over. I want you to eat dinner with us tonight." I heard shuffling in the back. She was likely dragging in groceries to the house. "I haven't had a chance to meet Nick or your new girlfriend yet."

"Girlfriend?" I asked with confusion.

"Yeah. Mell was telling me about your new girlfriend. Apparently, Maria won't shut up about you two. She is always asking Mell about you when she sees her in the hallway. I think she wants to get back together with you. I think you should call her be-."

"OKAY!" I yelled. "Mom. I'll come over for dinner at like..." I looked at the clock on my phone. "7 okay? I'll see if Nick and Anja want to come. Bye." I hung up quickly so she wouldn't try to bring Maria up again. She always loved Maria.

I came back to my doorway and leaned on the door frame. She was by my desk, looking at all the fanart on the wall. "That was my mom. She wants to know if you and Nick would like to come over for dinner?"

"I'd love to." She turned to me, smiling.

"Cool." Then there was silence again. I knew she was waiting for me to finish what I was going to say but I was too scared. I didn't want to make a mistake by confessing my feelings, especially if she didn't feel the same. I was worried I would scare her off. She had just started trusting me and we were getting somewhere in our friendship. My mind was racing with how to pull back on my words.

"You're staring again." She teased.

"Yeh, sorry. I'm gonna go ask Nick if he wants to come now." I turned out of the room and jogged down the stairs. I went to knock on Nick's door when I heard him snoring. Of course, he's napping. I started to knock when Anja came down the stairs and swirled around the banister to face me.

"He's asleep isn't he?" I nodded. "That's so on par for him. To make me upset and then sleep until I forgive him."

"Wait are you still upset about what he said?"

"No."

She walked straight past me and flung the door open. She rubbed her hands together, then took off. Ran full speed to Nick's bed and pounced on him. I felt like I was watching Patches play with my sheets the way Anja attacked him. "What the fuck!" He yelled. He sat up but she pushed him back down. He was trying to kick her off but she gripped his shirt. She kept laughing. "Why!"

"Cause you exposed me, asshole!" He finally pushed her off him and shoved her forward so he could lay on top of her. "NO! You're crushing me!" She screamed while smacking his back.

"What a nice pillow." It was cute seeing them play, but I felt out of place. "Oh, hey Dream." I waved. "You need something? I have this great new pillow. You should try it out."

"Fuck off Nick!" She squirmed under him but her fight was futile.

I laughed. "No, I'm good for now. But I came to ask if you want to come with me and Anja to have dinner at my mom's?"

"Sure." He finally got off Anja and she took a dramatic deep breath to cough. "Shut up. You're fine."

"You tried to kill me! That was assault!"

He just rolled his eyes. "What time are we leaving?"

"We can leave at 6:45 which is," I looked at my phone "in about 20 minutes."

"Cool. Ima go shower." He started to take off his shirt. "Y'all should leave."

****

We pulled up at my mom's house about fifteen minutes late because Nick took too long in the shower. When we got inside I saw my mom had the house rearranged and partially renovated. How did she have the money to get this done? Mellani and Liam were sitting on the couch watching tv with Howard, he was holding a beer like always. Him. I immediately felt disgusted.

"Puddy!" Liam jumped up off the back of the couch and into my arms for a big hug.

"Wow, you've grown! It's only been a month!" I put him down and held his shoulders.

"Duh! I turn eleven next month!"

I looked up to see Mell standing behind Liam, looking impatient. "You want your hug now?" I asked.

"Is that you're girlfriend?" She pointed at Anja, ignoring me. Anja looked at me in confusion.

"Your what?" Nick asked.

"Oh goodness! Puddy!" I heard my mom yell from the kitchen. She came running out in her apron. "You're late!" She pulled me into a tight hug that I reciprocated. After she finally pulled back, she looked past me. "Nick! And..."

"Anja." I answered.

"You can call me AJ if you'd li-"

"So you're the girlfriend?" She looked Anja up and up and down then at me, her smile left. "I'm Lisa. Just Lisa."

"Mom she's not really my girlfriend. That was a lie." I assured her.

"Oh thank god!" She hit my arm and then left back to the kitchen. What? "Dinner's ready!" Nick and Anja both looked at me with confusion and I just shrugged.

Dinner was nice to put it simply. My mom made spaghetti and breadsticks for us. She wouldn't stop asking about Maria, even though I tried changing the subject. I explained that Anja and I dating was a lie, used the excuse that I was embarrassed to still be single. My mom was so relieved. We had broken up more than 6 months prior but mom still loved her. Mellani told me about how Maria wouldn't stop bugging her about my 'new girlfriend' and how I should unblock her. I knew getting Maria a job at Mell's high school was a bad idea but she begged me. I couldn't resist her.

My mom got up to clean the table and to get dessert with Nick. He was happy to help which made her love him more. "Babe, get me another beer." Howard ordered, not even looking at her. God, I hate how he talks to her. All of dinner he was staring at Anja, trying to talk to her and even touch her at points. Disgusting. "So Anja. AJ! What do you do for a living?" Howard asked, curling his hands together and placing his elbows on the table.

"As of right now, I do nothing. But, I'm trying to release music soon." She gave him a nervous smile.

"How do you pay for rent?" He asked.

"Uh..." She looked at me in confusion. "I actually don't... pay. Clay is letting me stay for free." She answered.

"Really? Are you fucking him or something?" He scoffed, looking pleased with himself for the comment.

"Excuse me?"

"Howard? What the hell?" I yelled and jumped up out of my seat. Fuck. I want to hit him.

"Woah." Mell said under her breathe. Liam looked up from his phone in confusion. I was glad he wasn't listening but it wouldn't matter if I beat the shit out of Howard in front of him.

"What's wrong?" My mom came back out of the kitchen with ice cream and a beer. Nick followed with the pie, both of them concerned.

"It's nothing babe. I'm a little drunk. We're just having a conversation." He grabbed his beer and looked back over to Anja. She was clearly uncomfortable, looking at her lap.

I grabbed her hand and pulled her out of her chair. "Come with me." I pulled her along with me down the hallway, then to the semi-basement. "My room is down here." The basement was all different. There was a new bar and television. The walls were repainted and the floor was new wood. It was all redone. I kept pulling Anja until we got to my room door. When I opened it, it was all the same. Thank god. I let go of Anja and flopped onto my bed. "I'm so sorry about Howard."

She walked around my room a bit looking at all my things. It wasn't big. It was meant to be a storage room but I was forced down there after Liam was born. She put out a forced laugh. "It's fine. It's not like you could know what he was going to say."

"No. I should have. He's an asshole and a creep. I should have known he would say something like that to you. I just didn't expect him to say it in front of Liam or Mell."

She laid on the bed next to me, both of our legs dangling off and looking at the ceiling. I had a movie poster from Percy Jackson. "Who is he?"

"Mom's husband, so my step-dad. I hate him, so much. She deserves so better."

"Hm." She responded.

"What the fuck happened up there?" Nick yelled from the doorway.

I scooted over and patted the bed in between me and Anja signaling him to join. "It was nothing." I assured him.

"Yeah sure." He said sarcastically as he laid down next to me. "This room feels like you."

"Yep. Well, it is his." Anja yelped as Nick rolled on her again. Their friendship made me laugh. I hope it's a friendship.

We spent some time talking about why I hate Howard. How he's aggressive and possessive. How he treats my mom, especially when he's drunk. Nick tried to lighten the mood by asking about my childhood room. They both enjoyed looking at everything. By the time we got back upstairs, mom and Howard had gone to bed. Mell and Liam were sitting on the couch watching a movie and eating cookies they weren't supposed to have.

"Hey, puddy. Mom left you and your friends pie in the fridge but Liam ate all the ice cream." Mell told me.

"No, I didn't!" He screamed.

"Shhhhh Liam. It's almost 9. People are trying to sleep. Also, It's your bedtime."

"But I want to hang out with you and your friends. I never get to see you." He gave me his puppy dog eyes.

"Come on puddy. Let him stay." Nick teased.

"Ok. Don't start calling me that." I sat on the couch across the tv with Mellani and stole the cookie in her hand.

"Rude." She mumbled as she grabbed another.

"So what does Puddy mean?" Anja said as she sat down on the loveseat by the door. Liam quickly jumped off his couch and ran to sit next to her, stealing where Nick was about to sit.

He rested his hand on his cheek and winked at her. "You're really hot."

"Uh..."

"You got a boyfriend?" He asked.

"Liam. Shut up. You're ten." Mell laughed out.

"Age doesn't matter. At least that's what my friends say."

"Leave her alone." Nick picked Liam up and threw him off the other couch causing Liam to giggle like crazy. "Anyways! Back to puddy."

"It's his nickname. Our other sister gave it to him when they were little." Mell answered.

"What does it mean?" Anja asked as Nick sat down next to her, wrapping his hand over her shoulder. It made me upset seeing him touching her. I wanted her to be sitting with me.

"It's puddy like silly putty we would play with as kids," I answered. "And since my name is Clay, I guess she made some kind of connection. I don't know. It just started one day and stuck."

"That's cute."

Nick wrapped his arm around her neck and pulled her towards him, yelling "You never gave me a nickname!" in her ear.

"Ow! You know you have actual siblings, right!" She yelled back softly pushing him back.

"Whatever I'm going to pee." He got up and left the living room. We sat for a bit watching the movie on the screen. It was a newer Disney movie I hadn't seen before. I looked at my phone and closed out the thousands of notifications I always had. I realized the time.

"Ok, Liam. It's 9:30 and you have school tomorrow. Time for bed." I stood up and picked him up into a hug.

"Fine. Night Anja." He waved at her then ran away, giving Nick a high five on his way back in from the bathroom.

"So Mell, wh-" Anja started.

"Mellani. Only people I like call me Mell. I haven't decided if I like you yet." She didn't even look up from the tv to acknowledge Anja. "Nick can call me Mell though."

"YES!"

"Mell don't be rude." I hit her arm.

"Whatever. I'm going to bed. I have a test tomorrow. Night guys." She gave me a half hug and ran off. I could tell she felt bad for speaking to Anja like that. She was just protective over me like I was for her.