"And I told her not to go in too deep!" Ethan erupts into a fit of laughter as the memory of me getting smacked by a wave years ago at Myrtle beach comes to mind. "It completely took her out."

Everyone laughs along with him around the dinner table, and as much as that was embarrassing, I can't help but laugh too. I'm happy tonight. It's our annual family Christmas dinner, always held on Christmas Eve with Cam's family. We haven't had this dinner in a long time, but honestly it feels nice to have them here again. Especially since Cam's dad is back in his life.

"I don't even know why you went in there." Ethan continues to laugh, gripping onto his sides. "You hate swimming."

"She wanted to take a photo for her MySpace." Cam tells him. "Remember? She wanted to impress that kid. What was his name?"

Ronaldo. There wasn't even a kid in my class named Ronaldo. It was to impress Cam. It was always to impress Cam.

"I don't even remember." I shrug. "Why do you guys have to remember the most embarrassing stuff anyways?"

"Because it's funny." Ethan shoves his mouth with another bite of beef tenderloin. "Just like the time Cam shot that slushee out of his nose from laughing so hard. Remember that?"

Silence falls over Cam and I, and in this moment I'm so grateful that Katie was sick and couldn't come tonight. Otherwise she'd be able to read right through the both of us. That day was the day I realized I was attracted to him, and I told Cam this story when we started messing around. The night that I convinced him to come into my bedroom upstairs.

"Yeah." Cam clears his throat, and even though he's right beside me I can just feel the tension between us. I want to grab onto his hand more than anything, but I refrain.

"It's hard to believe that was so many years ago." My mom sighs as she remembers, swirling the wine around in her glass. "Now you're all grown up. So successful. I'm a proud momma."

"We raised them good." My dad adds, but I can see the awkwardness between my parents from here.

Christmas music is playing softly in the background, and although the feast was incredible, and although our dining room table is decorated to the tee with fancy Christmas trees and a satin tablecloth, I can't help but feel so sad. Something between my parents is off. Maya and I haven't said one word to each other when she's right across the table from me, and I destroyed everything with Cameron. Any shot in hell I had at being with him. The holidays aren't cheerful like they normally are. They're sad.

"Well, let me help clean up, Mary." Ted stands and begins to pick up some of the empty dishes. "It's the least I can do. Especially since I know you made that famous pumpkin pie of yours."

"Oh, nonsense." My mom tries to take a plate from him but he insists and starts to walk off into the kitchen. "Well, i guess I have no choice but to accept the help." She laughs. "Richard, can you help him clear the table and I'll start the dishes?"

My dad nods and rises to his feet, grabbing dishes out of our way. I've been waiting for the perfect time to do this, and now that everyone is parting ways for dinner I want to make sure I have the opportunity. Especially since Katie isn't here tonight.

"Hey, can you come up to my room?" I ask Cameron. "I got you a Christmas gift."

"You did?" He asks, a sly smile growing onto his face. "Well I'm glad you did because I got you one too."

Ethan and Maya smile smugly at the two of us as we pass by them in the dining room, and I quickly turn to give them both the middle finger. Nothing is going on between the two of us. The Christmas gift I got him is my goodbye gift to him. I have to move on, and I know that by giving him this he'll understand that.

He follows me up into my room and sits on my bed while I dig in my closet to retrieve the wrapped gift. It's big and heavy as I place it down in front of him, and Cam raises an eyebrow.

"What the hell did you get me?" He asks.

"Just open it." I plead, and it's taking everything I have not to cry right now. I don't want to give it back, but I know that I have to. I know that he'll want it at some point.

Tearing away at the paper, he finally rips it off and blinks a few times when he sees what's before him. It's a huge shadow box with the jersey of his that he gave me years ago.

"I figured if you got drafted that you'd want to hang this up or something." I tell him. "You know, in that big fancy house of yours that you'll be able to buy."

I'm trying to make it light hearted, but Cam's facial expression has hardened, his jaw clenched. "I gave this to you." He says.

I blink away more tears as it registers with him as to why I'm giving it back.

"I know." I whisper.

His eyes meet mine finally before he gulps loudly and looks back down at the frame. "No." He says, and he stares at the jersey like he's making up his mind about something. "No." He repeats.

He flips the frame over and starts to undo all of the locks quickly, shaking his head and blinking away more tears.

"Cam..." I start, but he shakes his head again.

"No." He says. "I'm not accepting it. I'm not saying goodbye to you. I gave this to you, and I'm not-"

"But we aren't together." I bite down onto my lip. "It's been sitting in my dresser for years, Cam, but I couldn't bear to get rid of it until I knew for sure that things between us were done..."

"No." He pleads almost desperately, and the backing to the shadow box falls to my carpet with a loud thud before he practically rips the jersey out from the frame to hold it in his hands again. He rises to his feet and takes two step towards me, his body almost pressed against mine. "You're not giving this to me." He chokes out. "I'm not taking it back."

"Cam, why? What is the point of me keeping it?"

"Because I-" he stops himself, attempting to choose his words, but he eventually gives up and pulls out an envelope from his back pocket. "Open it." He says and passes it over to me.

I turn the envelope around with shaky hands and undo the flap, pulling out a gift card. I'm unsure what it's for until I flip it around and American Airlines reads across the front.

"Cam..." I look up at him, breathless from the expression in his eyes. He looks terrified. Like it just hit him that he might lose me for good.

"I never forgot about the five year plan." He breathes out, and a tear slips out onto his cheek. "I may have strayed from it when you didn't call me, but it never left my head. You never left my head, Maddie. I don't know how it hasn't been obvious that I'm still in love with

you."

The air suddenly seems to evaporate in the room. I can't breathe, I can't speak, all I can do is stare into his eyes, completely at a loss for words.

"And so I'm not accepting this." He says defiantly. "Because you're going to use that gift card. There isn't going to be an excuse to not come and see me, or vice versa. I'm going to see you completely naked in this jersey of mine again, and I'll upgrade it to whichever NFL team I sign to if given the opportunity. You're not saying goodbye to me. Not until I at least put up a fight."

I'm crying now, but they're tears of joy. I can't shake the happiness that's coursing through me as he grabs my cheeks with his hands.

"I'm scared as fuck that you'll break my heart again, Maddie." He says. "I've been scared to tell you how I feel, but this is it. I love you, and I am begging you to give this a shot at long distance. We can do it."

"B-but what about Katie?" I stutter.

"She's not sick." He mutters. "I said that to your mom so that it wouldn't be awkward. She found out I stayed the night with you, and I told her I was still in love with you, alright? I came clean, and she took a flight back home yesterday."

Holy shit.

Is this seriously going to work this time?

I don't know what I'm going to tell Tre, but there isn't even a choice in my eyes. I've been in love with Cameron since I was thirteen. He's been the only man that I've thought about. He's everything to me, and if he wants to make this work I'm not going to blow my chance again like I did the last time. We can make this work long distance because being away from him will still be more tolerable than not having him in my life at all.

Cam scans my eyes again, searching for a response. "Is that a no?" He asks. "Please try, Maddie. For me. For us."

"Come here." I can hardly say from all of my tears, pulling his face to mine to finally, finally kiss him. It's been so many years, but nothing has changed. Fire is coursing through me, and like a twig being lit in the forest, it spreads everywhere. Down to my toes, up to my face, I'm so hot.

"Thank god." He moans against my lips and backs me up against the closet doors. Our kiss grows intense, almost to the point where we're knocking teeth. I can't get enough of him. I can't feel his body enough. He's finally mine again, and I don't want to waste another second of time.

"Fuck." Cam laughs and kisses me quickly again. "Mads, I don't even know how I want you right now, but I want to take you on literally every possible surface. I want to..." he trails off and shakes his head. "Fuck, I don't know. Come here."

He kisses me again and picks me up into his arms, my legs around his waist. His hands grasp onto my ass before he slips his tongue inside my mouth, claiming me as his.

Our parents are downstairs. This is literally the worst possible time to have proclaimed our feelings for each other, but I couldn't say no to him right now even if I tried. I can't seem to ever say no to him.

He lays me down onto my back and picks up a leg of mine, running his hands over the black tights. His hands feel so good on my body. A feeling I couldn't describe to anyone.

I sit up and strip myself of my green sweater dress, tossing it onto the floor. I'm in a pink satin push up bra, and I swallow back a laugh as Cam gulps, his eyes unable to look away from my breasts. I know this is his favorite part about me even though he'd lie and tell me it's my eyes or something.

"The sexiest girl I have ever laid eyes on." He says, and his voice is hoarse and filled with lust as he crawls on top of me, placing kisses down my neck. They're wet and sloppy, his tongue feeling like heaven.

"Cam." I moan as his tongue moves towards my breasts, and he chuckles against my skin.

"You don't even understand how much I've missed that moan of yours." He mutters, releasing one of my breasts for the cup of my bra. He sucks on my nipple, swirling his tongue around it to tease me endlessly. My back arches off the bed, but he uses his hand to pin me down.

Cameron brings me to a place that makes me forget about every worry I have. I don't think about school, I don't think about Maya, I don't think about my parents, all I can think of is this feeling he's giving me. A feeling that nobody else can.

His eyes never leave mine as he continues his work on my breasts, a smile permanently plastered to his face. He's so happy, and that makes me even that much more turned on.

Finally he moves his tongue down my chest, past my belly button until he reaches the hemline of my tights. He glances up for approval, and he does this on purpose. He knows that he's all I want right now, but he's teasing me.

I push him gently to the side and take my tights and underwear off, completely naked underneath him. He scans over my body, over every inch of me before he smiles again and raises his eyebrows. "Now that I have seen your body after four years..." he chuckles and kisses my stomach again. "I can full heartedly say that if anything it's just gotten better."

"Oh yeah?" I ask. "How so?"

He trails his fingertip up and down my side, and I hold my breath in anticipation. The spot between my legs is throbbing. "Well, for starters, your hips are curvier than ever..." he smiles again, that same grin that I've pleased myself to again and again. The grin that lets me know I'm all he's thinking about right now. "And this..." he moves his hand down to grasp between my thighs, the one spot that I've been dying for him to touch. "Is new? Are you waxing now?"

My cheeks grow hot at the fact that he noticed.

"Yes." I mumble. "It's just easier."

"Oh believe me, I'm not complaining." He sinks between my thighs and parts my legs, glancing up at me with those devilish, addicting green eyes. "Makes what I'm about to do a hell of a lot more enjoyable."

And then he sticks his tongue on my slit, moving his head up and down to get every inch. I cover my mouth with one hand and grasp onto his curls with the other, closing my legs around his head to hold him in place.

His tongue dives inside of me, taunting me, teasing me, in and out repeatedly until he pauses to come up for air. His lips are wet, his face red, but he goes back down and resumes.

"So fucking sweet." He moans, and the vibration from his voice against me sends a jolt right to my lower stomach. "I love it. I love you, Maddie."

I moan against the hand that's still covering my mouth. He knows that talking dirty pushes me over the edge. It always has.

"Yeah." He says. "Let me hear you. Show me how much you missed me."

He sticks his tongue back on my clit, flicking it around and around before he pushes two fingers inside of me. He pumps them in and out, his eyes staying on mine to see how much I'm enjoying it.

My jaw is dropped open, and even though I want my eyes to roll to the back of my head I don't want to stop watching him. He's so sexy, so damn talented at this, that it'd be cruel for me not to enjoy the show. I want to watch him when I finish onto his tongue. I want to see just how much he loves me.

His eyebrows furrow together, and his eyes soften, getting that look on his face where I know he's about to come. It's so hot. I keep grinding myself against his nose, but never for a second do I stop staring at him.

"Fuck, yes." I pant and grasp harder onto his curls. "Just like that, Cam. Just like that. Please don't stop."

Is he really going to come in his pants again?

"Fuck, I'm gonna come." He mutters into my pussy, and his eyes soften again, the look on his face sending me spiraling with ecstasy. I completely let myself go and soak his face, rubbing myself against his nose, back down to his lips so that he can taste every bit of his prize.

"Fucking hell." He growls and lets out a huge moan as he comes, sinking his nails into my thighs as he does. He pulls away finally, his face glistening from the mess I made, a huge come stain on his pants already.

We're both panting, unsure of what to even say. I'm so happy that it feels like I'm on some sort of cloud. I'm in a dream that I can't wake up from I'm certain.

"Sorry." I giggle when I scan over his face again. "It's your fault you know. I haven't been able to come like that in four years."

I wanted to have sex with him, but since he finished already I put that on the back burner. Cam is still fully clothed, which is funny to me. I didn't even get to see him naked.

"Kids! Dessert's ready!" My mom shouts from downstairs, and I jump out of my skin from the fear of being caught.

Cam looks down at his jeans and sighs. "I really should have just taken off my pants." He mutters. "I feel like I'm thirteen again masturbating for the first time. Do you see what you do to me, Maddie?"

"Mhm." I hum and pull him back into me. "And do you see what you do to me?" I grab his hand and place it between my legs again, letting him feel just how wet I still am. He groans and rests his forehead onto my chest.

"Well, that settles it then." He chuckles. "I'm sure as hell sneaking over here tonight."

"Please." I beg. "I'm not done yet. I want more."

It's like we're back in high school all over again, so in love that it's disgusting, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I want him to stay the night and make love to me endlessly. I want to be pleased by him again and again, until my body caves out, until I can't catch my breath.

"Come on." He kisses my forehead and tugs me up from the bed, bending down to grab my tights, underwear and dress. "We just have to get through this dinner and then we'll have so much sex that you'll get sick of me."