I'm sweating from head to toe as I pound my feet along our street. I've been running for two miles now, but I strive for three every morning. My coach will be able to tell if I didn't condition while being away from school, and it'll be hell for me and the team. He'll work us until we throw up.

I finally reach our house. I stop to do my normal routine — push ups, sit ups, and burpees until I collapse onto my back, sand from our yard getting into my hair. My abs are on fire, but it feels good. I like the pain. I enjoy working out. I always have.

I finally get the strength to head back into the house. My t-shirt is soaked with sweat, sticking to my back when I head into the kitchen. My dad has my protein shake already made for me. He does this every time I come home, and I appreciate it.

"Thanks." I tell him. "Where's Katie? Out for her run still?"

He nods. "Seems like it. She left about an hour ago."

Taking a seat on a barstool at the island, I let out a sigh and take a couple gulps of the protein shake. My muscles are aching from head to toe. I contemplate giving myself an ice bath until my dad says, "so, Maddie's back."

I pop my eyes up to his immediately. "Uh, yeah. She is."

"How are you feeling about it?"

Terrible.

Horrible.

Awful.

"Fine." I lie, but my dad gives me a knowing look. It's still taking getting used to having him be a part of my life again, but since I've been away at college he's tried so hard to be active. It feels nice that he wants to know how I'm doing. "I could be better." I admit and let out a sigh.

"Whatever happened between you kids anyways? Did you end things with her?" He asks.

I shake my head. "No. She didn't want to do the long distance thing, and I didn't fight for her when I should have."

"Should have?" He tries to hide his smile but fails.

"It doesn't matter anymore." I say. "I'm with Katie now, and I like Katie."

He begins to wash the blender in the sink, shaking his head before he lets out a laugh and says, "you need to figure it out, Cameron. You're not playing with just one heart here."

I don't want to talk about either of them any longer. It makes my head spin. It makes me get a migraine.

"I'm gonna go take a shower." I say and try to escape to the bathroom as quickly as possible.

"Just looking out for you!" He calls after me.

I can hear him laugh all the way upstairs.

______

Downtown Scottsdale is beautiful. It's where all the rich and famous people come if they ever visit Arizona. Fancy restaurants, incredible nightclubs, if having a good time is what you want, Scottsdale is the place.

Katie looks ravishing in a black sparkly mini dress, her makeup done up to perfection with an expensive necklace and matching earrings.

She was intimidating when I first met her. She's the daughter of our head coach, and she definitely has the same personality. Strong willed, a woman that knows exactly what she wants. After my first college game I had scored three touchdowns, and that was a wrap for her. She wanted me.

At first I wasn't open to a relationship. I had just ended things with Maddie. Katie knew I had just gotten my heart broken by someone and respected that, but it didn't stop her from finding out ways to be around me. After team dinners, visiting in on practices, over time we built a friendship that eventually turned into friends with benefits. I finally asked her to be my girlfriend three months ago, and after years in the making, of course she said yes.

It didn't stop me from feeling intimidated though. Her family comes from money. Her father is the head coach for crying out loud at Penn State. Katie expected things. She expects to be well taken care of, aside from her father's money, and sometimes I get nervous as hell thinking about it. I might not live up to her standards if I don't get drafted.

Fleming's steakhouse is one of my favorite restaurants. I've only been here a few times from special occasions with my family, but it's right up Katie's alley. Right now, she looks happy. The candle on our table sets a romantic glow, and I can see it reflecting in her hazel eyes. She's gorgeous.

I reach across the table to grab onto her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "Happy?" I ask.

"We'll see how the steak is." She teases, but then her eyes soften. "Yes, Cameron. I'm happy. Thank you for taking me out tonight. What was the occasion?"

I put my napkin across my lap. "Am I not allowed to take you out?"

We're interrupted by our waiter who lets us know the specials. Katie isn't afraid to order the most expensive steak on the menu, but again, she's a woman that knows what she wants. I order a ribeye and a bottle of wine for the table.

"Oh, not that one." She shakes her head at my first choice and turns to the waiter. "Cabernet Sauvignon. It pairs better with steak."

The waiter quickly nods and scurries off, leaving us alone again. I'm still holding onto her hand, and she lets out a sigh of relief it seems.

"What?" I ask.

"Nothing, I'm just really happy. I gained twenty new followers on my Instagram yesterday, you're doing amazing in football and will probably change our whole lives soon when you get drafted, and-"

"If I get drafted." I correct.

She waves her hand and rolls her eyes as the wine bottle gets delivered to the table. The waiter fills up our glasses as she says, "Stop being so modest, Cameron. Your stats are good. My dad said yours are the best the team has seen in years. You're going to get drafted."

It irritates me that people assume I'm going to be drafted. What if I'm not? I don't have a backup plan, and I really wish I did. Will she still want to be with me if I don't play pro football? Sometimes I don't know.

"You're going to." Katie squeezes onto my hand. "I've just never been happier. Seeing you with your ex just made me realize how much you honestly mean to me. It's a stupid reason, but I don't want to lose you, and I want to be completely transparent with you about how I'm feeling."

"Okay..." I trail off, unsure of where this is headed.

"I wanted to tell you that I love you." She breathes out, her eyes wide and uncertain as she stares at me for my reaction.

What. The. Fuck.

I blink a few times, but no words seem to come to mind. I should be saying it back to her. This is the part where I tell her I feel the same and we live happily ever after, but the sentence gets stuck in my throat.

"I...um..."

Thankfully, by the grace of god, our food is brought to the table to give me a few more seconds to think.

I don't love her. At least not yet. Shouldn't I though? I told Maddie I loved her literally three weeks after we started messing around, but I loved her for years. Maybe it's going to take the same amount of time with Katie, but either way I have to be honest with her.

"Cameron?" She squeezes my hand again to bring me back to life.

I take a huge gulp of wine before I respond. "Katie, I really like you." I tell her. "And I appreciate what you just told me more than you'll ever know. I just don't know if I'm there yet with you. It doesn't mean we won't get there, but it's not something I feel comfortable saying at this point."

"Okay." She nods, and it doesn't seem like she's upset, which is odd. "It's fine. I get it. It'll just take time."

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes." She smiles and straightens her shoulders to sit up more, snapping her fingers at the waiter as if she's completely unbothered. "Excuse me, I need this to be heated up more. It's slightly cold."

What the actual fuck just happened?

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