Beloved soulmates,

I'm for the slow update.

My family emergency is taking all of my time and energy,

But I'm still trying my best for you guys.

I will make it up to you.

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Jungkook whips the papers across the desk.

The thick, stapled sheets spin clean across the surface,

landing wildly over the floor.

Everyone startles at the mayhem and looks up at him.

Jungkook exhales slowly, trying to get himself together.

"Sorry," he grits out.

But the anger is bubbling up his chest

into the back of his throat,

and he's not sorry,

he just wants to push the entire table aside

and leave.

He feels like a caged beast

as he sits down,

his head in his hands.

"Jungkook hyung," Soobin whispers from across the table.

He scoots sideways and picks up Jungkook's information papers from the floor,

gently sliding them back to Jungkook.

"Kook, what's going on with you?"

Sejin places a hand on Jungkook's shoulder.

Jungkook tries not to.

He tries to stay still.

But the next moment he's shrugged off Sejin and shot to his feet.

The look of surprise on Sejin's face brought him back to reality long enough to make up an excuse.

"I need some air," Jungkook grunts.

Before anyone can react, he's whirlwinded out of the room,

jogging down the hallway...

Everything was stifling him.

And the thirst in his chest was back,

the burning thirst

because he hasn't Healed for a day,

because he was once again on a different page with his soulmate.

He thinks he can finally breathe a little

when he bursts into the courtyard,

the cold air sweeping over his skin

and chilling his lungs.

Where was she now?

Why couldn't he ever talk to her?

Why did he mess things up every time he tries?

Jungkook grips a handful of his hair angrily.

He should be back in the studio,

studying the information for their next venue.

But instead he was here

Standing in the cold.

Glaring at a tree

Hating himself.

---

The door behind him opens again.

Jungkook spins around venomously.

It's Sejin, with both hands up, palms facing Jungkook.

"I just want to talk to you."

The manager is calm,

and resigned, almost, as he rubs his face tiredly.

Jungkook lowers his hackles.

He didn't know who he thought it was,

but he really didn't feel like seeing soulmate's-bestie, Taehyung's flawless face right now.

"Sit with me?"

The older man beckons.

They sit down on a stone bench.

Sejin sighs.

"Jungkook-ah...

I know this soulmate process has been difficult for you.

You have trouble getting along with her."

And now Jungkook felt something warm behind his eyes,

because that had been exactly what Jungkook is thinking,

He wants so badly to reach out to her,

but everything he does is wrong,

And he is so mad at himself he could scream.

Sejin shakes his head sadly.

"I want you to be happy...

Jungkook.

If... If you can't talk to her freely and comfortably...

Then...

Not all soulmates have to be romantic, Jungkook.

Some end up just friends, or like family."

Jungkook grips the edge of the bench so hard his knuckles turn white.

Why did the thought of being with her make his stomach turn over?

"How- how does that even work?

If we're just , how do we heal?" Jungkook spits out the words, like they burnt him.

"You sit together, lean your arms together.

Like family.

You both move on to date and marry other people.

Live normal lives."

Sejin is looking at the ground,

and it seems that he hasn't slept in days,

the droop of his head

and the tired tone of his voice.

Jungkook sees that his own hands are shaking

at Sejin's words,

but he doesn't understand why.

"I'll leave you alone to think about it," Sejin says gently.

He pats the back of Jungkook's head,

and he looks very sad

as he walks away,

his legs slow and his steps dragging,

from the maknae.

-------

"Hyung..."

Jungkook looks up at the voice,

too distracted by his thoughts to be offensive.

Soobin has come.

And Jungkook can't fathom why.

They aren't close.

Bangtan and TXT didn't get much time together;

usually they have very different schedules.

And if there was a member of Bangtan that was least close with TXT,

it would be Jungkook.

If he was honest with himself,

he just didn't care to open himself up to more people.

Plus, he wasn't any good at it.

Jungkook had never been any good at feelings.

At the very least, he stopped himself from kicking the tree

as Soobin approached him.

"I bought you some time, if you read this out here then you don't have to go back,"

Soobin hands Jungkook the venue information.

Bangtan had a large concert coming up,

and had been having a meeting,

with TXT listening in for the experience.

Jungkook is slightly embarrassed as he realizes how his exit would have looked to TXT,

who all but worshipped their Bangtan hyungs.

He grips the leaflets between his fingers.

"Hello..." peeks out another tiny voice from the doorway behind Soobin,

and Huening Kai's head pokes around.

And Jungkook understands why Sejin sent them,

because Jungkook is too polite

and withheld

to blow up at his dongsaeng.

Because he might argue with Bangtan

but he wouldn't with the TXT boys.

Kai bows twice at Jungkook as he scuttles to the bench nearby.

He blinks, his eyes clear and wide.

"We haven't seen soulmate noona around today, don't you need Healing, hyung?"

And right there.

if Taehyung or Jimin had asked that,

Jungkook would have left.

But he can't, not with Kai.

Jungkook shrugs, his jaw tense.

Soobin is looking up at the sky and sidestepping,

trying to do anything to avoid Jungkook's wrath.

"Is noona OK? She looked really sad yesterday,"

Kai, oblivious to the atmosphere,

is picking tiny leaves off his bench,

But his words have finally caught Jungkook's attention.

"You saw her yesterday?"

Jungkook tries to look nonchalant,

but he knows he's failed

when he sees Soobin's eyes flick around nervously.

Without even moderately taking a cue

from his increasingly nervous leader,

Kai looks right into Jungkook face

unafraid

and nods.

"Noona was leaving the building... I saw her across the parking lot.

She looked like she had been crying.

I wanted to go talk to her

but we had to leave, we were running late...

is she OK?"

Kai all but flutters his lashes at Jungkook.

Jungkook's fingers curl into fists of their own accord.

She told him that she hadn't broken Mira's things.

Maybe she was telling the truth.

He had been sure it was the bond.

The swirling pattern of the makeup and debris looked exactly like a bond effect.

But if it wasn't her...

Jungkook hadn't considered that it could be forged.

because he always thought of Bighit as his family.

But if she was telling the truth,

It hurt Jungkook to think about.

And he'd falsely accused her

even if his intentions were to declare his loyalty.

He'd wanted her to know that he was on her side, should she make a mistake.

He would be there for her.

He had been eager to protect her in the aftermath.

He had been too eager

to be her hero.

He had wanted...

her side.

He tosses his head angrily.

Why couldn't he do anything right when it came to her?

"Hyung? Is something wrong?"

Huening Kai finally catches on to the darkness on Jungkook's face.

He looks about wildly to Soobin, wondering if he missed something.

Soobin almost rolls his eyes.

Kai starts to stammer.

"It's just... Noona, was so nice to me... about... the soulmate thing. I thought..."

Jungkook sighs.

"What did she say about soulmates?"

Hesitant this time, the younger maknae is quiet when he speaks.

"Noona said that having a soulmate is scary... but also good.

She said that healing with hyung... makes her feel good.

And she would answer any questions I have, to help me find my soulmate.

So I think... noona...

likes being with hyung."

Jungkook can't decide how he feels.

That she should impart this information to Huening Kai

but not to Jungkook.

Yet he would rather find this out through the TXT boy rather than not at all.

Because hearing it made him feel calmer.

He should have listened to her.

He shouldn't have been so eager to protect her

that he failed to consider whether she needed,

or wanted,

protecting.

But he would listen now,

if she was still willing to tell him.

So he's tossing his venue booklet aside

for the second time,

spinning to stride out of the courtyard.

-----

She doesn't answer his call, nor his text asking where she is...

And Jungkook wants to give her the benefit of the doubt

that she simply didn't have her phone nearby...

And not that she was ignoring him.

He looked in his own dorms

and her two favorite coffee houses to do her work in,

but to no avail.

By dusk he's panting with thirst,

he hasn't healed for way over a day now...

But more importantly,

the urgent need to see her,

to just talk to her...

Was driving him mad.

Just friends.

They could be friends.

He could be a friend to her.

Jungkook grit his jaw so hard his teeth hurt.

His soulmate bruising hand was sore,

but that just reminded him of the time she was hurt,

and he was able to find her by the bond alone.

Jungkook sits in the backseat of the car,

ignoring the driver hyung's weird looks

as he concentrates on his pulsing palm.

Red.

His vision had been red last time it happened.

And she had been... at odds with Mira noona.

Jealousy?

No, Jungkook had been jealous plenty at Taehyung and Jimin.

Anger?

Did that prompt the red?

It was easy.

It took Jungkook all of two seconds to summon the anger at himself,

at his feelings,

at his stupid words

and all his failures...

And between just one blink and the next,

his vision was full red.

He let it build.

He let it build until it was dangerously hot in his hand,

but still he didn't get the homing beacon

he got last time

when she had been hurt.

Hurt.

She had been hurt.

The color of the bond didn't matter at all,

it only needed a charge of any color,

And he knew he was insane.

But he does it anyway.

The only warning he gives the older man in the driver's seat...

Is a grim

"Sorry, hyung."

And then Jeon Jungkook punches his fist through the car window.

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Please see Jimin and Yoongi's soulmate stories too

Twitter:

https://twitter.com/minxy_keys

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