I am so grateful to my readers that

Every time I read the comments and see votes I think my head is going to explode from happiness.

This one is dedicated to @geminirumisidd who legit wrote me a poem (how dare you attack my heart like this.)

Thank you.

--------------

--------------

Someone moans.

No...

Someone is shaking Jungkook, and he doesn't like it.

It makes the dizziness worse.

"Jungkook," a voice presses urgently.

It's Jimin, Jungkook realizes.

"No," he forces past his lips.

"Leave me alone."

"Jungkook, what's wrong?" Jimin won't leave, and he's still shaking Jungkook.

Jungkook hurts everywhere.

His knee hurts, his wrist hurts, his whole body is throbbing with pain.

He doesn't want to wake up.

"I was in the living room, going back to my room, and I heard you throw up," Jimin insists. "Are you sick? What's going on?"

Someone is still moaning, and Jungkook suddenly realizes that it is himself.

He bites down on his lip to make it stop.

Jimin frowns.

"You are shaking, Jungkook, you look so pale... and is that in your garbage can?"

Jungkook tries to turn over and go back to sleep, but Namjoon's voice booms over from the door.

"What's going on?"

The leader walks into the room, looking Jungkook up and down.

Jimin sighs.

"Jungkook is sick. He threw up."

He turns to shake Jungkook again again, stubborn.

". Don't ignore me. Why don't you ask her for healing?"

Jungkook covers his eyes with an arm.

"She's... having fun with Taehyung, reminiscing their good old childhood days.

And times from before she met me.

I don't want to interrupt her.

We already heal for me more often than she needs healing.

I... I don't want her to feel... burdened."

Namjoon tilts his head.

"Wow, look at Jungkookie... taking care of her feelings. Jungkook-ah, you change so much around her I don't even recognize you anymore."

Jimin finally lets go of Jungkook.

"Kookie... I don't think she has any idea you're so weak right now.

It's not fair to her if you don't even tell her.

She's depriving you without even knowing.

You're sacrificing for her but she has no choice."

Jungkook shrugs.

"I'm not weak," he grits his teeth.

"I didn't say you are," Jimin answers.

"Well, I don't want her to think I'm weak," Jungkook finally admits, his voice so quiet that Namjoon has to strain to hear him.

"Is that the problem? That's what you're concerned about? That she'll think you're weak?" Namjoon asks, leaning against the wall.

"I... I need so much more healing than she does. It's been like this since the very beginning. Why?"

Jungkook puts both hands over his face so he can hate himself from the shelter of his palms.

Jimin tries to stroke Jungkook's arm reassuringly.

"Everyone is different, Jungkook. You can't help it."

"If you're too embarrassed to say it, maybe you can just text her."

Namjoon picks up Jungkook's phone, which had fallen out of Jungkook's pocket onto the floor when he fell.

He places it on the bed beside Jungkook.

Jungkook tightens his jaw.

He remembers how Soulmate always looked surprised when she returned to him and he looked more needy than she expected.

He surprised her with his weakness.

He reaches out and slides his phone away from him, sending it crashing to the floor again.

He would not text her.

He would not call her.

He would not ask her for than she was already giving.

"Get out," he snarls at his brothers.

Namjoon and Jimin exchange a long look,

in which Jimin whines audibly

but Namjoon just shakes his head and shrugs.

The leader bends down and picks up the garbage can.

"I'll dump this out for you, Jungkook. Get some rest."

They finally leave, Jimin dragging his feet slowly.

Jungkook buries his face into his pillow.

"Chae-young," you grin into your phone.

Taehyung waves excitedly at you, and you put the call onto speaker mode.

"Hey girl, how are you?" you best friend's voice amplifies into the room.

"I'm good. I'm here with Taehyung, do you remember him, from elementary school?"

You bite your lip, anticipating her reaction.

"Taehyung? The one who is in now??"

Her voice is incredulous.

"Annyeong Chae-young-ssi!!" Taehyung shouts into the phone.

"Oh my god," she whispers. "How are you two met up?"

"I... I have so much to tell you," you admit.

"I bet you do. You've also been AWOL for a month. You barely answer my texts. We never go this long without talking. I know something is up."

She sounds a bit testy.

"You're in trouble," Taehyung sings,

grabbing a strand of your hair

and using it to make you a moustache across your lip.

You bat his hand away.

"Tae, can you give us some privacy? Sorry, but you know, girl talk."

Taehyung shrugs, then jumps off his bed, slides a few feet, and dances out his door.

"Hey," you say into the phone.

"I'm waiting," Chae-young replies.

"I... you're right. Something has happened. Something... huge. But I'm not allowed to talk about it.

I just... I just really missed you. And Taehyung wanted to say hi... And... god, girl I needed to hear your voice. Things have been crazy."

You cover your face.

"Hey. I'm always here for you, okay?" Her voices changes to concern.

"And if you can't talk about it... then I kinda already know what's going on."

"You... you do?" You blink at the phone in surprise.

"The last time we talked, you were sick. Right after the concert. While Bighit was looking for Jungkook's soulmate. Now you've been off the grid for a month. No matter how much I call you, you don't pick up. You answer my texts with the most vague replies anyone has ever sent.

I know I didn't do anything to piss you off, so... I can put two and two together, babe."

"I... I can't believe how understanding you are," you tell her. "You're the best."

"Well, just tell me this. Do you like him?"

"I... I just... things are so complicated," you put your face into your hands.

"Tell me what you can."

"We... we're both kind of embarrassed, I think. We're still trying to work out... everything, but it's awkward sometimes."

"I can see why, with the physical touching," she like she is thinking.

"And neither of us are really the best at talking about our feelings," you shake your head even though she can't see you.

"Oh my god! You're right! You are the worst at that. And he's bad at it too?" She sighs. "That's just... wow. I'm so sorry. You two may as well be miming everything."

"I really am terrible," you groan.

"Well, I asked if you LIKE him," she presses.

"I'm not sure how much of it is me... and how much of it is... you know, the... our... connection. But... sometimes, I think I might," you drop your voice low to a whisper.

She giggles.

"I'm so happy to hear that. At least you're not stuck with a guy you dislike."

"Yes, that would be so much worse," you have to agree.

"I know it must be so difficult, since he's with... um, the company. And all the... people who might... find out. Are you okay?"

"I... I'm just... I'm so over my head, Chae. Things are a mess. I can't even... I feel like a glass filled to the brim. One more thing and I'm going to tip over," you confess.

You hear the tears coming in your own voice.

"Things must be really hard for you. I'm sorry you can't talk about it, I wish I could hear you out and help you."

She sounds incredibly sad too as she takes in your tone.

"I miss you, bestie. Sis," you whisper.

"Fam," she answers.

A loud knock comes at Taehyung's door, and you jerk.

Yoongi pushes the half-closed door open.

"Oh, I..." your mind blanks.

"You can go, sweetie," Chae-young says. "Call me soon, okay?"

"Okay, I love you," you whisper.

She makes a kissing noise back at you.

Then she hangs up so you don't have to.

You follow Yoongi into the hall.

"You need to heal with Jungkook," Yoongi points at Jungkook's bedroom door.

"Yeah, I'm waiting for him to get home," you answer.

"He's home, he just didn't tell you."

"... What? Why? I'm waiting for him. He knows that." You shake your head, confused.

Yoongi shrugs.

But it isn't a shrug.

It's a shrug.

He just throws a complicated look at you and then walks back to his own room.

You walk over to Jungkook's room,

a little taken back as you pass by Jimin's room

and Jimin has his face partly stuck out of his door, watching you.

"Um... hi," you say.

"Jungkookie is so stubborn," Jimin whispers.

You knock gently on the door frame,

and when there was no reply,

you open the door and walk into Jungkook's room.

Jungkook is lying down on the bed,

but the moment he sees that it's you,

he sits up.

It's not easy for him.

He struggles to pull himself up, and even when he does, he tips and leans against the wall.

"Hey," you say gently, as he looks like he may have been asleep.

"Please don't get up."

You sit down by his bed, and reach over to overlap your hand with his forearm.

He looks like he needs it.

You shudder as the ache and soreness in your joints ebb away, replaced by warmth.

The golden healing starts.

Jungkook closes his eyes briefly, as though he can't help it.

Then he takes a few deep breaths, and opens his eyes again, and he's still got the same stare.

You try not to fluster under his stare.

Half as a distraction, you push him on his shoulder to lie back down.

He obliges, likely because he needs to.

"Why didn't you tell me you got home? I was... waiting," you say.

You don't like how meek you sound.

He doesn't answer.

You wonder why he is looking at you like that.

And he looks so pale.

"Are you alright? What can I do for you?" you reach up and press more of your arm against him.

He shivers.

But he's still staring straight into your eyes.

And then he finally opens his mouth, his gaze hooking your gaze to him.

His voice low.

"You want to know how to make me alright?"

----------

----------