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Hi ARMY!

I am so, so sorry for the update delay this week!

I was away on vacation (I flew to watch the BTS Love Yourself Tour!!)

They are amazing and gorgeous in person

Here is the update and see you next week!

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Jungkook

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Jungkook squares his jaw and locks eyes with Taehyung in the mirror.

He stares Taehyung down as he pointedly turns his wrist...

... and threads his fingers possessively through his Soulmate's fingers.

Half turned away, she was about to answer Taehyung with a smile on her face.

Her words evaporate and her eyes widen as she feels Jungkook's fingers slide between her own, gripping her hand firmly.

She turns back to Jungkook.

And Jungkook feels the powerful angry monster in his chest growl

.

With her gaze rightfully on himself, , Jungkook leans back in his chair and lifts his chin at Taehyung.

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You

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"You don't have to panic," the Noona says, a small smile on her face.

She watched with her arms crossed as you flung a backpack and a dufflebag onto your bed, tore shirts from their hangers swinging wildly in your closet, shoving a jacket and a sweater into the bags and jogging around the bed to your drawers for underwear.

You had made for your bedroom the moment you slammed the front door of your apartment behind you, gesturing wildly for her to make herself at home as you disappeared and began packing your things in a storm.

"Please help yourself to some water or any drinks in the fridge," you pant at her, stacking your bras and socks together.

"He will be fine. You don't live that far," she says softly, before disappearing from the bedroom doorway.

Pants, a dress, three sets of pajamas all rolled hastily and thrown into the duffle.

You savagely sweep your arm over your counter of your moisturizers, facewash and makeup, letting them clutter against the countertop and roll into a small bag.

You finally slow down as you walk over to your desk, your heart still beating like six drums in your ears.

You force your hands to slow down and steady, gently sliding your laptop into its carrier and winding its charging cable and two sets of headphones into the outside pocket.

The laptop was your livelihood. Everything you've written for work, thousands of hours, is on it. The carrier is waterproof and lined with foam for protection.

You sling it messenger-style across your shoulders; it'll be the thing you never drop even if your hands slip.

If you're honest with yourself, you are a little shell shocked, no, mortified that you had left your laptop and your job unplanned for four days.

You cram one more stack of underwear into the backpack, zip everything shut as fast as you can, heaving the backpack and duffle bag off the bed and jogging into the hallway, ricocheting off the door frame twice as you turn sideways to squeeze through.

The Noona, who is sitting on the sofa swiping at her cellphone, looks up and bursts into laughter at the sight of you.

Okay, you know you're probably very red and sweaty, panting for breath as you stand there loaded to the brim with your bulging bags.

But you still huff a little at her.

She shakes her head and stands.

"I guess we better go... before you combust."

You open your mouth to say something, but nothing comes out so you just let out a pppffff sort of sound as you huff at her incredulously.

She smoothly takes the backpack from your hands and grins as she puts her shoes on.

--

--

You feel it slightly by the time the SUV is turning into the parkade under the Big Hit building.

You check your phone.

The drive was an hour each way, plus the errand the Noona had done, stopping by a store to pick up a small bag.

Just under three hours you've been away from Jungkook.

It wasn't like you were tired, or in pain.

But your hand where your Soulmate bruise had been was just ever so slightly sore and uncomfortable.

And if you were feeling it, then Jungkook would be too, for he was weaker than you right now.

How tired is he right now?

Is he in pain?

Does he need Healing desperately?

It must have shown on your face, because the Noona takes one look at you as she shifts the car into park gear and says, "Leave your things, I'll drop them off at the dorms later. Let's go."

You reach behind your seat to grab your laptop bag, the only thing you have trouble leaving behind, fling the door open and jump out.

She walks briskly ahead of you, and you try not to seem too agitated that you're not breaking into a run the both of you.

You cross the parkade and she scans a pass through two sets of doors that beep and click open.

Then a receptionist who holds out a hand to her.

The man speaks in a very low voice to the Noona.

You can't hear all of it.

"Manager Sejin... with her... he wants... when I see..."

The Noona nods at him and beckons you, taking you to the elevator.

"We're going to make a stop first to see one of the managers."

You're too worried about Jungkook by this point to even fangirl at being inside Big Hit.

What if he isn't okay?

What if he needs Healing right now and you're just going on some detour...

You bounce on the tip of your toes in the elevator, chewing your lip nervously.

The doors open and you follow the Noona down a long hallway.

You pass people who nod politely at you and you nod back, trying to keep your tormented frown off your face.

They smile and exchange hellos with the Noona.

Finally, finally, she stops in front of a wide door and knocks.

"Yes, come in," a voice calls immediately.

Manager Sejin, who you recognize from online photos, puts a folder back onto his bookshelf as he walks toward you, hand extended.

You shake hands with him, trying to ignore the starstruck feeling.

"I know you have been so helpful and cooperative with us so far. I want to thank you," he says.

"I'm... I only did what made sense. And I'm sorry that I didn't realize as soon as I should have. I wasted a whole day and Jungkook got so sick... and..."

You trail off, seeing the small black backpack he picks up from a table.

He holds it out to you, unzipping it.

"These are covering masks for your face. They cover your nose and mouth."

He pulls out two folded pieces of black cloth to show you, and puts them back.

"There's two hats, these help cover your head and hair to keep you hard to recognize."

He points at two very black and very plain, completely unmarked baseball caps pinned against the inside lining.

And last he points at the very thick binder of paper in the middle, taking up most of the space.

"I need you to read all of this. This is a collection of things you have to learn, information you should know off the top of your head. How we run and work as a company, what our goals and rules and goals are, what Bangtan's rules and goals are."

He lifts his eyes to meet yours. His face serious and stern.

"You will learn how you should and shouldn't act in order to protect yourself, and Jungkook, and BTS, and all of us at Big Hit."

You reach out with a heavy heart and take the backpack, nodding.

"I'll read it."

You knew this was coming. You knew bonding with Jungkook was going to be the most complicated and messy thing to ever hit you in the face.

You had known you were going to be tied up stick and ropes going forward.

By his fame, by his career, by his... life.

You just didn't expect it to come so soon.

You didn't think it would start before he was even fully Healed.

Or had you?

The backpack weighed about five pounds in your hands, but it felt like fifty pounds in your heart.

Heaviness anchoring you down into a life you didn't want.

Binding you.

Forever.

You curl your hand tight around the straps.

It was do or die.

You didn't have a choice.

"I know it's a lot, but it's absolutely necessary," Sejin says.

"I know," you reply stiffly.

"Do you have any concerns you want to address? Questions?" He steps back to look at you carefully.

"... Can I go back to him now?" You barely whisper.

Sejin blinks.

"Yes," he answers.

You nod at him and turn out the door, blinking your tears away.

Do or die.

You stand helplessly in front of the elevator because it needs a pass. And even if you had one you wouldn't know what floor you want anyway.

The Noona stays behind to talk to Sejin, which is fine because you take the time to inhale and exhale your tears away.

You don't want this life.

Big deal.

Lots of people don't have the life they want.

Stop being a crybaby.

The Noona shows up two minutes later.

She wordlessly scans her pass and takes you to the right floor, leading you past two turns and down a hallway.

And suddenly you know, because heavy music is pounding out from a set of double doors, and there's the shouting voice of Taehyung which you recognize.

Your steps speed up of their own accord, your heart thundering, and you push through the doors.

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There's a mass of guys standing across the floor, all facing the mirror.

They jump and twist their torso right as you scan them for the one you were looking for.

No, he isn't here.

Why isn't he here?

Namjoon and Jin give you a small wave as they continue stepping to their dance.

Taehyung flat out grins at you.

You can't even force a smile back.

Where is he?

Did he go back to the dorms because he was too exhausted?

Why weren't you here for him?

You turn you head and you see him.

And for someone you just met a few days ago, you know the look of his figure too well.

He is slumped on a chair, his legs sprawled straight out and his head drooping.

His eyes are heavy even as he tries to watch the other Bangtan guys do their choreography.

Your heart flies into your mouth at the sight of him.

The shape of his forehead, a few strands of his dark hair sweeping across it, over his dark brows.

His sharp jaw and bow-shaped arc of his mouth.

You want to go to him, but your feet are frozen.

Frozen at the way his slow blink and slender face renders something so tender in your heart.

The way the slope of his tired neck dipped into his shoulders under his white t-shirt and you ask yourself why, again, you weren't here for him.

He finally sees you in his peripheral and he turns his head.

Your hand was definitely sore by now.

Solidly sore, so you place the look of Jungkook's face in a heartbeat.

He looked so frail, and so... in need.

His pained expression brought the movement back to your body.

You unsling your laptop and drop it to the side along with the backpack in your hands as your feet fly, darting across the studio to him.

You fall to your knees beside him, your arm reaching out already, reaching toward him, protectively curling across his knees.

You scan his face and eyes, looking for how bad his fatigue his, you see the paleness of his cheeks, trying to measure how long he must have been needing Healing.

Maybe an hour after you left?

How did you waste so much time coming back to him?

How could you waste time feeling bad for yourself after talking to Manager Sejin when Jungkook was here, suffering, and needed Healing?

You won't.

You won't leave him for that long anymore.

You won't let him get like this anymore.

You have your laptop now, and that's all you need for work.

You'll be here for him from now on.

And that single thought, along with the small tired smile Jungkook gives you, are enough to lift all the heaviness that the backpack full of chains had left in your soul.

"I'm sorry I was gone for so long," you whisper, guilt in the back of your throat.

There were dark shadows under his eyes.

He overlaps one of his hands with yours, his palm warm on the back of your hand.

You try not to go red, but you know you are.

He's just trying to Heal faster, don't be such a fangirl.

"So you only missed Jungkookie? What about me?" hollers Taehyung's voice from behind you.

Glad for the distraction, you are about to answer him with something cheeky when you feel Jungkook's long fingers shift...

... and nudge their way in between yours, intertwining your fingers together tightly and intimately.

Now you know your face is on fire.

You feel your jaw drop as you look up into his face, confused, only to see his brows drawn and his eyes narrowed, his mouth a thin line.

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