"Oh.. i didn't know--"

"Yeah you fell asleep." You let out a soft chuckle.

"Either way. You're still strong and different.." She said and let out a sigh.

"Okay. Do you have a pen?" Kendall gave you a confused look. "Pen?" She dug into her purse and luckily she found a pen.

"Here. So, why do you need a pen?" The model asked. You look for an old receipt in your wallet.

"Okay here.. List down all the things you couldn't do without Harry. You know-- things you never tried to do alone before." You smiled at her while handing her the paper.

"Uh.. Eat at the restaurant alone?" She said.

"There. Write it down. What else?"

"Watch a movie alone.." You nodded as the model write it down. "Uh, travel alone? I've always with my family and Harry when i'm travelling or when i'm on a vacation.."

"Sure yeah, write it down. What about your needs?" You said jokingly.

"My needs? What do you mean?" She frowned but the model is smiling.

"Like, sex?"

"Oh my god Y/N." You laughed at her reaction.

"What? It's true! Me? I haven't had good sex in 3 months." The model laughed with you.

"I haven't had sex in 10 months.." You looked at her, and frowned.

"What? My brother passed away 8 months ago--"

"Yeah, i have an explaination for that. Me and Harry were married for 10 months. He wanted to have kids, and i didn't. I'm not ready.. I'm just 24 and not ready to be a mother." The girl explained to you.

"Well, then.. Why did you agree to marry him if you don't want to start a family?"

"Because i love him. For me, that's enough reason to marry him.."

"Alright, okay.. I'm not going to say anything about that. It's not in my place and we're still not friends." You said smiling at her. Kendall reached for your hand and squeezed it.

"Hey.. We're friends. Besides, you're not just a friend-- you're my sister in law." She let out a chuckle. "So what am i going to do with all this list?" She added.

"Uh.. You are going to do all that by yourself. Even the sex part, you need it Kendall. Believe me. You need to blow off steam and be adventurous.. I love my brother more than anything but i need to say this to you-- your life can go on without Harry. I'm pretty sure you were doing fine before you met him. Now, i have to go back to work, because the music outside sucks." You winked at her and walk away.

A week after, Kendall called you asking if you want to make sure that she will do all those things thag she wrote because she doesn't trust herself of she can do all that alone. "Y/N i look like an idiot eating in a fancy restaurant by myself. Come and join me." Kendall said to you on the phone. You looked at her in the window and gave her a smile.

"No. You can do it."

"Oh come on.. Please?" She said and gave you a puppy eyes.

"Nope. That's not going to work for me, text me when you're done. Eatwell!" You waved at her and wait for her in your motorcycle.

After a few minutes, you saw Kendall walking towards you smiling ear to ear. "So? How was it?" You asked.

"It felt good! Like really good!"--"I- is this yours?" She said looking at your motorcycle. "I didn't know you ride motorcycle. That is so--- extra." She smiled. The girl wanted to say that you are hot by riding a motorcycle.

"Yeah? Why do you think it's extra?" You smirked.

"Uh-- you know.. Because you're a girl-- a-and i don't see girls that much riding a motorcycle. You're a badass." You let out a small laugh.

"Wanna go for a ride?" You smiled at the girl, she looked at your motorcycle and nods at you. "I know Harry wouldn't let you ride a motorcycle if he's alive."

"Wha--? How did you know?"

"He's afraid of riding a motorcycle Kendall. He doesn't even know how to ride a fucking bicycle." You said laughing at your brother.

"Yeah.. Harry is not that-- adventurous. We're totally opposite but i love him."

"Loved. Past tense.." You tried to correct the model but you realized that you are crossing the line. "S-sorry.."

Kendall let out a small smile, "It's okay. Let's go?" You nodded at her and both of you hop into the motorcycle. You gave her your helmet without saying anything. "W-what's this?"

"A helmet. Wear it, in case i fucked this up." You said to her and she playfully hit you in your arms.

"Y/N! Don't scare me like that!" You chuckled.

"I'm kidding. Wear that so you could be safe. Come on, faster."

"But, w-what about you?"

"I'm good.. You're more important than myself." The model's face became red because of what you said. She's thankful that you can't see her face right now. You and Kendall drove around town, she's enjoying the ride with you and wanting you to drive faster. She never ride a motorcycle before, she's scared because it's dangerous. But at some point Kendall trusts you. She doesn't know much about you but she trusts you-- more than anything and she doesn't even know why..

Kendall wanted you to stop at the Santa Monica beach. She told you it's one of her favorite place in California. Both of you are sitting at the shore waiting for the sun to set. "Have you been here before?" She asked.

"Of course! I'm was born here in Cali." You smiled at her. "Why did you ask?"

"Nothing-- it's just.. Harry and i, we didn't talk much about you. Also your mom?" You smirked and shake your head.

"Yeah? Well maybe because me and Harry-- we're not that close to each other.. When we were kids he's always been an asshole to me, he's always making fun of me and everything." You said while lookinh at the water.

"Isn't that what siblings do? I mean-- i do have a lot of sisters and brothers. We always fought and argue with each other but at the end of the day we still love each other."

"Yeah right.. Harry is different. You know-- i thought he's going to stop being so mean to me when we grew up..."

Flashback:

"Harry stop! That's mine! Dad said that's mine! Why are you so mean to me?!" Little Y/N said while crying in front of her older brother.

"No! This is mine! Every toys you have is mine!" He said as he snatched little Y/N's teddy bear in her hand. "You are not my sister!" He yelled at you and pushed you to ground. He walked away and left you at the playground alone and crying.

***

"Hey that's mine. Dad gave that to me.." You said to your brother because you caught him red handed trying to steal your necklace that your father gave to you for your birthday.

"So what if dad gave this to you? He's not here anymore. So fuck off!" Harry pushed you and your back slammed at your door. You tried to get your necklace back from your brother's hand but you failed because he's more taller and stronger than you. You can't do anything but to cry in your room and wished that your father take you with him when he and your mom separated. You couldn't tell him to your mother because she's always taking Harry's side even though it's his fault.

***

Harry is waiting for the girl he likes in her front porch while holding a flower in his hands. "This is me.. Thank you for walking me home Y/N." The girl said to you, you are about to respond when she peck you on the cheek.

"Y-you're welcome Brooke.." You smiled shyly.

"Y/N? What the fuck are you doing here?" Your brother said while standing behind you and the girl holding a flower and a box of chocolate. You are about to answer when the girl answered Harry's question.

"She walked me home. I should be the one asking you that Harry. What are you doing in front of my house?" The girl said looking annoyed at yoir brother's presence.

"I-- i wanted to invite you to Austin's party tonight?" He smiled at the girl nervously.

"I can't. I'm going with Y/N. Right?" The girl looked at you and winked at you.

"H-huh? W-wha--?" The girl squeezed your hand.

"RIGHT Y/N?"

"Uh-- yup yeah.. I'm going with her." You gulped because you knew your brother is already pissed at you.

"Wow. So are you two like together now?" He smirked.

"So what if we are together? Are you going to bully your own sister again Harry?"

"She's not my fucking sister." Harry answered the girl while he's looking at you.

"Whatever. Don't ever come to my house again, i told you so many times that i don't like you, i will never like someone who bully his own sister just so he will look good to his friends."

"B-brooke.. Don't say that.. I-i will change for you, i- i promise. If you want me to apologize to her, i-i'll do it. Brooke please.." You are just looking at the two of them not trying to say anything. This is the first time you saw your brother begged for a girl's affection.

"You are an asshole Harry, and you'll always will be. Just please-- get out of my house and leave me alone." The girl said, you are about to leave when Brooke held your hand. "No not you Y/N. Stay.."

He flashed an arrogant grin, "Alright. Alright.. It's not like you're worth my time. You are just some another dumb cheerleader that i'd like to slept with." You wouldn't let your brother to talk to your friend like that, you clenched your fist and after a few seconds your brother is on the ground holding his jaw.

"You don't have the right to say that to her you fucking asshole!" Harry stood up and tackle you down, he's a football player that's why he is strong and so used to brawl. While you on the other hand, you are an MMA student. Brooke was yelling for help, luckily Harry's friends saw you and your brother, they dragged their friend away from you or else both of you will kill each other. Your let out your rage in him, all your anger and pain that he caused you. "Get the fuck away from me! I'll fucking kill him!" You yelled.

Brooke came to you to calm you down while one of Harry's friend is holding you. "Oh yeah? Go ahead you psycho!" Harry taunt you.

"Fuck you!"

"Sshh.. Y/N calm down. Alright?" Brooke said as she cups your face. "Get him out of here please."

"This is not over Y/N! YOU ARE SO FUCKED!" He said laughing at you.

After what happened, you had a fight with your mother. Of course, she's defending Harry and telling you that he didn't do anything because you are the one who is a troublemaker. That moment you realized that your mother doesn't love you, you will never win your brother because he is your mother's favorite and your dad was not around to defend you. You decided to run away from home, take all the money you have and flew to Italy to stay with your father.

"Oh my god Y/N.. I'm so sorry." Kendall said while holding your hand.

"N-no it's okay.. He changed i guess, for you." You smiled at her.

"I didn't know Harry was an asshole before. I mean-- i didn't knew he had that side in him because i've never seen him like that. I'm sorry you had to go through all that.." You shrugged your shoulder and look at the sunset.

"I- i just wish everything was different back then you know? Either way, i still miss him though.. I wish we made up earlier so we could spend time with each other more." Kendall looked at you, she noticed the tears in your eyes.

"I'm not going to tell you it's okay, because it's really not. But i'm here if you need me Y/N. Always.." You didn't said anything, instead you just nodded at her and smiled. Kendall rest her head into your shoulder while both of you sat on the shore in silence looking at the sunset.