—St. Jerome

After all of the plates and cookware had been scrubbed clean and neatly stacked away in cabinets—a task that Julian and I completed together, with many playful questions from him about why my apartment lacked a functioning dishwasher—we tested out the new couch together. The fabric gave way to my weary muscles. I sank into the plush fabric beside his stretched out body, marveling at him.

A slate-gray Henley with three-quarter sleeves clung to his torso, and a pair of blue jeans, a bit looser than the style he normally wore, hugged his waist. Julian looked incredible in everything, which reminded me of my lackluster wardrobe. That morning, I had been able to find dark gray trousers and a plain, cap-sleeve, black top to wear, which was a relief. But I was nearing my bottom reserve for work appropriate clothing, and needed to get some new clothes with my first paycheck that Friday.

"So, what do you want to do? I can't have you cooped up in this place for days. Do you want to see something in Tucson?" I surprised both myself and him by grabbing his hand, while lacing my fingers between his.

"We don't need to go anywhere, I'm just fine here. I didn't come here to be entertained, Brooke. I only came to make sure you were alright, and to spend time with you. I wouldn't mind a nice lie in with you." Julian stared at our locked hands.

"I know. It will just make me feel better to get you out of this cramped apartment for a while. I could use some fresh air myself." I rested my head on his shoulder. Even through the cotton of his shirt, I could feel the natural warmth of Julian's skin.

"I will go anywhere with you. What do you suggest? You know this city much better than I." He tilted his head.

"Hmm." I contemplated some options. Since it was evening, we were somewhat limited in our choices. "Something relaxing or something more adventurous?"

"Something relaxing." Julian's cheek rested on my forehead. I was glad for him to have made that choice. I wanted the same.

"How about the lake at Kennedy Park?" I suggested. "If we go now, we can catch the sunset over the water."

"That sounds perfect." His enticing accent carried through the quiet living room.

"I'll drive," I offered. "I just need to stop by the gas station first."

"You mean petrol station." Julian gently pinched my side as I stood from the new couch.

"I meant what I said," I joked.

"Feisty tonight." Julian stood and wrapped his arms around me from behind, then turned me around to face him. "I like it."

Looking into his piercing brown eyes stole all of my wit and I was left a mumbling mess.

"We should..." I tried to concentrate. "We have to go, for the..."

"It can wait just a moment, can't it?" He grazed the tingling skin on my arms, then held my face between his hands.

I nodded.

"I can't explain what it does to me, to hear your heavy breathing when I so much as brush your skin." His hand caressed the side of my neck. "Like this."

Julian pretended to take my pulse.

"Thump-thump..... thump-thump.... thump-thump... thump-thump.. thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump." His onomatopoetic imitation of my heart only made it beat quicker.

"You're teasing me." I dared to smile at him.

"Only with affection." Julian brought my clenched fist to his left chest and held it there. "I'm a hypocrite anyway. Listen to my own. Like cannons against my ribcage."

When he smiled, the muscles of his face would lift his cheeks so high that his gleaming eyes would narrow, leaving me completely enamored. As his features softened again, becoming more relaxed, I fixated on the subtle movements of his chest as he inhaled and exhaled.

"Do I make you happy?" I wasn't sure where the question came from or exactly why I had asked.

"Yes, very." His eyes burned into mine. "Nobody has ever made me happy like you do. You're perfect for me. Ace for anyone, really, but especially perfect for me."

With his hot mouth so close to mine, I couldn't hold out any longer. My lips met his in a crazed way, covering his mouth with my own. I breathed him in, as if my lungs were starved for his scent.

Maybe they were.

Our kiss was impassioned, frenzied even. It carried with it an urgency that made little sense to either of us, but still left us ravenous for more. The ardent glow of our strange, kindred bond guided our movements, as soft groans fell from his perfect lips.

Before him, I never knew a kiss could spark such vehemence in a person. Not just any kiss with anyone could do it, but every kiss with Julian did.

"Hold on." Julian breathed through a billowing chest. "We have to get to the lake before it's dark."

"We can stay here tonight." I kissed his neck, desperate to change his mind. "Really, we should stay."

"You said you wanted to go. I want to go with you." He kissed my temples and rubbed my shoulders. "We can always continue this later."

That answer mostly satisfied me, and after cooling down for a moment, we got into my old, black car. When I turned the ignition, my Ascend the Stars CD started playing loudly, and I scrambled to cut the volume.

"Who are those blokes?" Julian asked through a proud grin.

"Just some band." I slightly covered my embarrassment by staring directly ahead and biting my bottom lip.

"Well, they sounded awful. Truly terrible," Julian joked and gripped my thigh as I drove down the street to the gas station.

"I happen to like them, actually. An acquired taste maybe." My poor joke was rewarded with the sound of his laughter filling my small car. I wanted to bottle the sound.

"Why does everyone drive so bloody fast here?" He took note of other drivers whizzing past us.

"They're all angry it's so hot," I guessed, as we pulled into the service station.

The fourth pump was open, so I pulled up and hopped out, with Julian right behind me.

"Let me take care of it," he insisted.

"No, absolutely not. You've done enough." I pulled my debit card from my wallet.

"Let me help?" Julian asked, trying to take my card from me.

"You have given me too much already, Julian. Please don't spend all your money on me," I begged him.

"I'm not, I have plenty enough to live on. It's only me that I have to take care of, after all, and I'd like to do nice things for you. What I've done so far isn't extravagant." Julian tried reaching for the card again.

"Well, you and I differ on our definitions of extravagant then." I got my card into the machine's slot before Julian could get his in, and he threatened me with a tickle fight as the fuel started pumping into my Civic. Then, all of my laughter abruptly ceased as I looked up, to see Caleb exiting the adjoining convenience store, with a bottle of liquor in his hand.

I noticed him before he noticed me. Caleb was wearing a mostly blue, tie-dye shirt and black, jean shorts. As much as I tried to look away, I was frozen in place. He walked to his car and was almost to the driver's side door before he saw me.

"Brooke, what's wrong?" Julian asked, nudging my side playfully and nuzzling my hair.

Right then, Caleb looked up and did a double take. His door was open, and he was about to get in, but instead, Caleb stood there, staring. At first, it was a look of surprise, then it quickly turned to shock, and finally to burning, seething hatred. He eyed me quickly, then focused all of his attention on the still smiling, vulnerable boy next to me.

Julian's fingers were on my waist, causing a flood of red to cover Caleb's tired looking face.

"What is it?" Julian stopped laughing and followed my eyes. He spotted Caleb, who kept his gaze on us for the longest seconds of my life.

Desperately, I wanted to pull the gas nozzle from my tank and tell Julian to get in the car as fast as he could, but I couldn't take my eyes away from Caleb's furious face. If I looked away, I thought, it might somehow break the spell and cause Caleb to come barreling over here to fight.

"Who is that?" Julian asked sternly in my ear. "Brooke, who is that?"

"We need to leave," I managed to say quietly. "Right now."

"We'll go." Julian pulled the nozzle from my car and returned it to its place in the stationary pump. "What's that guy's problem?"

"Get in the car," I urged him, trying to keep my voice steady and confident. "Please."

Julian kept his stare on Caleb as he walked around the side of my car and got into the passenger's seat. Once I heard his door shut, I got in, slammed my door shut, and locked us into safety.

"Who the fuck is that guy?" Julian asked, as Caleb finally got into his car and peeled out of the lot. "That's not..."

"It's him," I said, as I turned the opposite way and drove faster than I normally would have.

"What?" Julian's tone was a mixture of shock, offense, and outrage. "That was him, as in Caleb? As in, the wanker who trashed your place? That was the psycho?"

"Yes." I could say nothing else.

"What the fuck!" Julian cried out, slightly startling me. "Brooke, why wouldn't you say something to me? I would have crucified him. I would have crushed his face in. He is one lucky maggot."

"I can't let you, Julian." I tried to hold his hand. It was trembling and rough. "I would never let you do that, let you get in trouble. No way. He's not worth it."

"I wouldn't get in trouble." Indignation was clear in his tone. "I can't believe that was him. I just missed my golden opportunity to make sure he never makes an appearance in your life again."

Julian was taking deep, long breaths, but beads of sweat still collected on his forehead. I cranked the air conditioning, even though I knew it had little to do with the temperature in my car.

"He won't." I squeezed his shaking hand in my own. "He's not going to be around. I don't want him around and I won't let him be around."

"Why isn't his ass in jail?" Julian questioned me.

"The cops haven't talked to me yet. I don't really know what's going on. I was going to try to get an order of protection," I explained.

"Good. And for safer measure, I'm your order of protection." Julian was biting his lip hard. "I hate the way he was looking at you. He's a fucking creep, Brooke."

"Do you want to just go back to my place?" I offered.

"No, he's not going to ruin this. Let's stick with our original plan. Show me this lake you were speaking of." He was really trying to suppress his obvious agitation.

We made the short drive to the park, mostly in silence. Halfway through the trip, I turned the radio on to a classic rock station. Julian seemed to relax into his seat as the minutes ticked by. The park looked nearly empty when we arrived, with just one person fishing far in the distance.

"Wow." Julian eyed the golden sun disappearing slowly before us, casting vibrant shades onto the rippling waters.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" I took his hand and led him to the trail along the water's edge. "When I first moved here, before I knew anybody, I would come here sometimes in the evening and sit at one of those picnic tables and write."

"I wish I could have read it all." Julian inadvertently reminded me that my work was gone. All but one, anyway. "I haven't had a chance to thank you, for your poem."

My face flushed. "You're welcome."

"You really wrote that for me?" He examined my face as we took our time walking along the trail.

"Yes, only for you."

"It's absolutely beautiful, Brooke. You're so talented. I could never write like that." He squeezed my fingers and smiled my favorite smile.

"I don't know what to say." I stared at my feet. "Except that, I'm glad you like it."

"I don't just like it, I love it," he promised me. "You're my favorite. So, if I'm your favorite anything, I'm sated."

"You're my favorite everything, Julian." I inhaled the warm evening air—the scent of leaves toasted by the sun—and focused on the distant noises of insects buzzing. "Your eyes are just one of my many favorite things."

His cheeks filled with color.

"Is the poem mine? Like, you've given it to me, and I can do with it what I wish?" he asked carefully.

"Yes, it's all yours. Do whatever you want with it. That's my only remaining piece now, but I want you to have it." My word was my oath. "I'm glad it's yours."

The descending sun was casting our extra tall shadows before us. I liked the way our figures looked together, even on the bumpy pavement of the trail.

"I knew you were out there somewhere." All of Julian's earlier anger disappeared from his features, and his face was soft again. The cadence of his voice lulled me into the most peaceful, contented state.

"What do you mean?" I encouraged him to explain.

"Look over there." Julian pointed beyond the sun. "What's back there?"

"More earth," I guessed.

"More specific," he pressed me.

"Land. Houses," I continued to guess.

"Better, you're getting warmer." A grin lifted his cheeks.

"People. Animals. Life." I was almost ready to give up.

"People. Lots of people." Julian pointed in a 360-degree circle around us. "Everywhere you look, for as far as the eye can see—for as far as your feet, or boats, or busses, or trains, or aeroplanes, or cars can take you—there are people."

"Yeah?" I was trying to follow along.

"Before I continue, I have to ask something. Do you believe in only having one perfect match?" A glint from the sinking sun caught his russet eyes and turned them into amber.

"Like a soulmate? Yes, I think so." Before meeting Julian, my answer might have been different.

"I believe in it wholeheartedly. I think that most people find decent or pretty good matches, but never really find their truly perfect match." Julian bent down to pick up a stone, and sent it skipping across the water. The pebble hopped and hopped until it was too far away to see, then it finally sank into its new home at the bottom of the lake. "Sort of like finding your seventy or eighty percent match, when your one hundred percent is out there somewhere. Some people even get really lucky and find their ninety percent match, but it's not quite right, is it?"

"No, definitely not," I concurred.

"Now, here is what I have never understood. Why are most people under the impression that your soulmate, the one who fits you perfectly like a glove, is coincidentally exactly where you are?" Julian made me ponder. "If that's the case, it's a bit too perfect for everyone, don't you think?"

"Some might argue that, if that person is your soulmate, and you were destined to be together, you would already be close in proximity, by fate," I offered another perspective, not that of my own.

"No, that's nonsense." Julian shook his head, running his fingers through his hair. "Distance is never a factor, because love is not a matter of convenience of location. It's not a passion of proximity. Fate will bring you together, if you're both open to working for it. I've never believed in the notion that your true love is magically living just down the road. The world is so enormous, chances are that is definitely not the case for most people."

I squeezed his hand in agreement.

"My bed at the orphanage was next to one of the only windows in the shared room. So, when I was a teenager, I used to look up at the stars on some nights and wonder if maybe the person I was going to love, the person who was going to love me, was looking up at the sky at the same time somehow." Julian reminisced aloud. "It made me feel especially small, but it gave me hope at the same time, because it proved one thing to me: whoever she was, we were both under the same sky. Not so far apart after all, if we could look up from wherever we were, and see the same thing above us. The world's not so big in that sense, is it? I wasn't going to settle for anyone, until I found her."

The logical part of me suspected that Julian was referring to me, but doubt still clouded my mind. I needed him to say it to me, so I could be absolutely positive about his feelings.

"Now, of all the people in the world I could have met at the show, what are the chances of me finding you, if we weren't meant to be together?" Julian stopped dead in his tracks and pulled me toward him. His breath was hot on my lips. "What are the chances that I've seen you in my dreams?"

"Julian," I whispered under his gaze.

"I love you, Brooke." His sunlit eyes widened as he took in my reaction. "I couldn't leave here without telling you. I know it sounds mad, I know we've only just met recently—"

"I love you," I interrupted him. "So much."

"You do?" His sigh was a mixture of relief and elation.

I nodded and kissed under his chin, moving up to his lips. "Of course I do."

"You know," he said, between breaks in our lips, "This is the. First time. We have said. That to. Each other."

"I've tried to say it to you," I admitted breathlessly.

"I have said it to you. Many times." He squinted his beautiful brown eyes at me and smiled. "Mostly when I know you're asleep. But this is the first time you've said it to me."

"Should I say it more?" I asked as he pulled us onto a secluded area of soft, patchy grass.

"Please." He lay me down next to him.

"I love you, Julian." It came easier the second time than it had the first.

"Mmm. Again?" He pulled my body on top of his, so that we were facing each other, while lying on the ground.

"I love you." I pecked his cheek.

He playfully bit the tip of my nose and stroked through my hair.

"Make love with me, Brooke." Julian's voice was smoky, but his eyes were soft.

"Let's go back to my place." The drive there would have been torturous.

"Why not right here?" he asked.

"Out in the open?" I looked around.

"Nobody's here. Nobody will see us." He brushed the bangs from my eyes. "Besides, it's getting darker now."

"I've never done anything like this," I confessed, feeling completely inexperienced next to him. He hadn't told me about his history, and I wasn't sure if I could have handled hearing about it. It killed me to think of Julian with anyone else. Quite selfish, maybe, but it was true.

"Neither have I," Julian breathed the words, his voice smooth as honey. "We don't have to, if you don't want to—"

I silenced him by tasting his sweet, soft lips. Nothing escaped them except muted moans. With our desires, emotions, and thoughts out in the open, it only made sense to honor our love in the same way.

Once our clothes mixed into a pile beside us, Julian's hands immediately found the small of my back, as he longingly bucked his hips upward, to meet my own. I drank his sighs, swallowed his mutterings, and called his name as the only man I would ever give myself to completely.

Over and over again, he murmured his love for me, as if each time admitting it would add a year to our infinity.