—Morrissey

"Can you be ready in ten minutes?" Julian asked when we got back to our hotel room.

"Yes. Am I coming to the venue then?" I shuffled through my suitcase for a new pair of shorts and a red tank top. The air outside was still muggy and hot, making my clothes feel sticky after the rain.

Surely, the concert site would have been worse, with thousands of warm bodies crammed in together.

"Where else would you be going?" Julian took off his band t-shirt, tossed it to the floor in the living room, then pulled a fresh, white t-shirt over his torso.

"I don't know, I thought maybe you would just have me stay here at the room," I admitted.

"And stare at a wall until I get back? No way."

"There's a television here," I joked. "I wouldn't just be staring at a wall. It'd be a 'Parlor Wall.'" I discovered my ratty old copy of Fahrenheit 451 under the clothes in my suitcase and held it up to show Julian.

"Now you're definitely coming with me. I can't have Mr. Bradbury filling your head with nonsense for hours." Julian pursed his lips and raised an eyebrow in amusement.

"Afraid I'll torch the place?" Somewhere, my inhibitions were lost, as I changed my clothes in front of Julian. He watched, but not too closely, as he found a fresh pair of black jeans for himself.

"Who knows what's going on inside that busy head of yours?" Julian's grin reached his bright, brown eyes. "What kind of firefighter is that?"

His words reminded me of the gift I brought for him, and my fingers searched the inner pocket of my bag until I felt the woven material.

"I have something for you." I held the patch behind my back.

"You do? Should I be worried?" Julian took three big steps to close the distance between us. "You're hiding it from me?"

"It's not much. I saw it at the mall and thought of you." I ran my fingertips over it as I brought the patch to the front of my body.

"May I have it?" Julian held his hand out, and I dropped it into his waiting palm. His eyes shifted as he read the lettering on the Tucson firefighter patch.

Each second felt longer than the last, as he did not speak up.

"I just remembered what you said before, you know? About being a fireman or a pirate. I thought maybe you would have a laugh. Or it could remind you of me, or something. It's a stupid gift. I'm sorry." I tried to pull it from his hands, but his grip held steady.

"Brooke." He brought a hand to my face and caressed my cheek. "Look at me."

I stared up into his glistening eyes and tried not to tremble.

"You don't know how much this means to me. This is my favorite gift ever." He kissed my bangs.

"It's silly." I needed to hear his assurance again.

"It's perfect and I love it. But Brooke, as much as I love it, you do realize that I don't need an object to be reminded of you?" My eyes closed as Julian's lips brushed my eyelids.

"I hoped you wouldn't, but..." My voice cracked, betraying me.

"But nothing." Julian sighed. "I'm not going anywhere. Can't you see that?"

"I feel like you're going to evaporate into thin air and I'll never see you again after this," I admitted. Anxiety shook my body and I clung to his chest in response.

"Brooke, I'm here." The sound of his thudding heart against my ear proved it was true. "We'll figure something out."

"What are we doing, Julian?" My question came from desperation, not confidence.

I longed to hear it fall from his lips. Somehow, my aching for Julian to explain, in words, that which he had already shown me through actions, was strong. Stronger than my terror at the thought that I might have been wrong about his intentions.

"I was hoping you knew." Julian stroked my hair and pulled me in even tighter.

Three knocks at the door startled us.

"Time to head out," a voice said from the hallway.

"It's Nick. We're riding in his SUV with Devon and Jesse. Tommy and Mason will ride in a separate car," Julian explained. "All of the tickets were already reserved, so I couldn't secure you a seat in the audience, but you can watch from the side of the stage. And until then, stay backstage with me. At the very least, we can stuff ourselves on the abundance of catered food."

I nodded, not feeling particularly hungry at that moment.

"Hey." Julian tilted my chin up to face him. "I'm not through discussing this with you. We have lots to talk about still. But until we do, just know that I've never felt so strongly about anyone before."

His soft smile eased the pain in my stomach.

Three more knocks on the door. "Come on, we need to get a move on! Quit fannying around!"

Nick led us out to the black Escalade and I climbed into one of the two open seats in the middle. Julian took his rightful place next to me.

Jesse was passed out in the back with his headphones blaring, next to Devon, who sat up straighter once we buckled ourselves in.

"Hey, Blair, was it?" Devon asked, leaning forward to rest his elbow on the back of my seat.

"It's Brooke." I smiled politely.

"Don't piss me off, Devon," Julian snapped.

"I'm sorry, bro, I forgot." Devon held his hands up in the air to show innocence.

"I'm not fucking around with you." Julian crossed his arms.

"Sorry, Brooke. I'll remember next time. I'm terrible with names. Can you forgive me?" Devon spoke sweetly to me.

"It's really okay. Don't worry about it." I nodded to accept his apology.

"'Kay, good. So... what have you two been up to today?" Devon grinned.

"Well, we went to Magic Kingdom earlier." I ran my fingers through my hair to release a tangle.

"Couldn't invite us, could you?" Devon lightheartedly punched Julian's arm.

"I have been around you zoo animals enough to last me a lifetime. You could have gone on your own." Julian bantered with Devon throughout the ride to the venue.

"Here we are," Nick announced as he pulled up next to a side entrance of the Hard Rock Live. "Jesse, wake up!"

Jesse's headphones were still blaring in his ears, but somehow, his deep snores continued from behind us. Julian led me inside the opened side door, and Devon followed after us, while Nick tried to wake up Jesse.

When we turned the corner of the hallway, a familiar looking blonde in black slacks and a coral pink, button-up blouse was chatting into her phone.

"I need to call you back," Anna said, before sliding the phone into her right pocket. "Hello, boys!"

"Hey, Anna. You remember Brooke." Julian said it as more of a statement than a question.

"Of course." I couldn't tell if she was lying. "Good to see you again, Brooke. Please, you three follow me."

We trotted down the hallway toward the green room, where Tommy was perched on the arm of the reddish-brown, leather couch, playing video games. He did a double take when he noticed all of us entering.

"Hey, mates. And Brooke, right?" Tommy surprised me by saying.

"Yeah... Hey, Tommy." I felt like a dork. A completely out of place dork.

"Julian hasn't shut up about you for over a damn week." Tommy's thumbs smashed the buttons of his controller before Julian knocked it out of his hands to the floor.

"You dick!" Tommy playfully hit Julian's bicep. "I was almost done with the race!"

Anna left us alone to take another phone call in the hallway. "If you'll please excuse me..."

"Who is she, anyway?" I whispered into Julian's ear once I was sure she was gone.

"One of our tour 'managers.'" He used air quotes and rolled his eyes. "And pseudo mum."

This backstage area was even bigger than the one in Tucson. The white walls were mostly covered with framed photos of renowned musical artists, and the hardwood floor was shiny clean. I stared aimlessly at the pictures of Van Halen, Journey, The Ramones, and Boston, to name a few.

"Where's Mase?" Julian looked around the room for his friend.

"Don't know," Tommy replied. "Probably on his mobile somewhere."

Devon excused himself to hit the showers and Julian scoped out the array of food on the back tables. He picked up a large slice of a sub sandwich and called over to me.

"Brooke, look at all of this stuff." His eyes were wide and his mouth was full as he chewed.

I picked up a few pieces of raw broccoli, bell peppers, and cherry tomatoes, then scooped some ranch dip onto a small plate.

"That's all?" Julian asked, piling a plate with still-hot baked chicken, dinner rolls, and mixed fruits.

"I had the big breakfast you left for me, and snacks at the park," I reminded him.

"We burned all of those calories off." Julian spooned some potato slices onto my plate. "Try some at least. They're amazing."

We sat on one of the loveseats and I nibbled on my food while Julian almost inhaled his. Jesse waltzed into the room and utilized an empty lounge chair to sprawl out.

"Wake me up five 'til showtime," Jesse said to nobody in particular, while folding his arms under his chest. I could've sworn that I heard snoring within mere seconds.

"Long night?" Julian asked Tommy, on account of Jesse.

"You could say that." Tommy smiled.

"When's rehearsal?" Julian placed a hand on my knee while continuing the conversation with his bandmate.

"No rehearsal tonight, just sound check. They moved our set up half an hour."

"When's sound check then?" Julian finished off the last of his food.

"Six forty-five," Tommy answered, without taking his eyes off the television.

The only clock in the room read 6:40.

"We have to go then. Jesse, get up." Julian nudged his friend's shoulder.

"I said five 'til showtime," Jesse blurted out.

"It's five 'til sound check. Get your ass up then!" Julian kicked at Jesse's shoe playfully. Jesse mumbled and stirred, finally rising to his feet and shaking the sleepiness from his head.

"Will you be okay here for a few minutes?" Julian asked me quietly.

"Of course. Don't worry about me," I assured him.

"I'll try not to." Julian kissed my forehead, to a small, affectionately-taunting chorus of "aww's" from Tommy and Jesse.

The three made their way out the door, leaving me alone in the room. The sudden shift to silence was both refreshing and unsettling all at once. Nevertheless, I walked back to the tables again and found a glass fountain with lemon and lime flavored ice water on tap. I filled a transparent, plastic cup with the cold refreshment and took long sips while finding my way back to the yielding couch.

When I looked up from my drink, I couldn't be sure that I was actually seeing what I thought was in front of me. Devon's black-and-blue hair was dripping wet. More alarmingly, he wore only a blue towel around his waist. I looked away and strangely felt the need to apologize.

"I'm sorry, I can find somewhere else to go, if you need me to," I offered.

"No, stay. Where did the lads go?" Devon sat right next to me on the loveseat, which instantly felt more crowded.

"They went to sound check." I couldn't bring my eyes to meet his.

"Oh. Well, I'll have to get dressed soon and meet them. Unless..." From the corner of my eye, I could feel Devon peering into me.

When I didn't answer, he laughed a throaty chuckle. "You've gone shy? Do I make you nervous?"

"Right now, you are, yes," I answered honestly.

"Why?" Devon moved closer to me on the small sofa. His towel was touching the bare skin of my lower thighs, beneath the hem of my shorts. "I'm glad Julian brought you back. You're one of my favorites yet."

"What are you talking about?" Rising irritation finally gave me the courage to meet his face.

"Calm down. I just mean, if you want to stick around, maybe you can do me a little... favor." His vile grin made bile rise up the back of my throat.

"I'm not doing anything with you," I said, just as the green room door opened and Jesse came in. His eyes dilated as he took in the sight of Devon nearly naked next to me.

"Hey, mate," Devon cheerfully greeted Jesse.

"We're all at sound check. You should probably put your clothes on and join us." Jesse mixed venom with his words, and fumbled through his bag in the corner, to retrieve a fresh pair of drumsticks. He must have forgotten to bring them with him.

"Yeah, okay. Was just having a little chat with Brooke here. It is Brooke, right? I want to make sure I have it right this time." Devon wrapped an arm around my shoulder leisurely and I stood from the loveseat to find the bathroom.

I couldn't tell how long I stayed in the bathroom; I just waited until I could no longer hear voices from outside the door. Once I was positive that the coast was clear, I stayed in the bathroom several minutes longer, to make absolutely sure that Devon and Jesse were gone.

With my stomach in knots, I sank down into the fabric of the couch again and switched the television on. Mindless blathering of infomercials did nothing to keep me distracted from myself.

Ten minutes after seven.

How much longer could sound check have lasted?

I really needed Julian to come back now. A disoriented sensation overwhelmed me and I could have really used the familiarity of his face, his voice, his scent, to keep me grounded.

The thought of Devon trying to make a move on me, if that was what really happened, made me feel physically ill. It wasn't that Devon was aesthetically unappealing—I could have seen plenty of females swooning for his looks—but the idea that he would try to make a move on his friend's girl repulsed me.

Was I even Julian's girl?

What did Devon even mean when he said "you're one of my favorites yet?"

Minutes ticked by and finally the noise I had been waiting for greeted my ears. Julian called my name through the door of the green room.

"I'm here," I answered him.

Julian spotted me on the couch and came right over, to sit next to me. He looked flustered.

"Is something wrong?" My hands were trembling.

"No. I don't have much time. We need to go on in fifteen minutes." Julian would not look at me.

"What's the matter?" I pressed.

"Okay, I'm not accusing you. I just need to ask you something." Julian ran a hand through his unkempt brown hair.

Oh no.

"Did you," Julian paused and cleared his throat, "Did you come onto Devon just before?"

"What? No!" I stood up. "Julian, he came onto me!"

"All I know is that we were waiting for him to show up, so we could begin sound check, and he came in bragging that you were trying to touch him or something. I didn't believe him, but Jesse said that, when he went back to find his sticks, he saw you two sitting really close to each other and Devon was just in a towel."

"Julian, please believe me. I would never do that to you. When you, Jesse, and Tommy left, I thought I was alone in here. Then Devon showed up in just a towel and was saying strange, threatening things." The sting of tears burned just behind my eyes.

"What kind of things?" Julian looked up at me.

"That I'm his 'favorite one yet' or something like that." I sighed. "And that if I wanted to stick around I should do him a favor. But he didn't get the chance to tell me what that favor was, because Jesse came in."

Julian jumped to his feet and paced towards the door.

"Wait, Julian." I chased after him and grabbed his arm. "Where are you going?"

"Are you telling me the truth, Brooke?" Julian's breathing accelerated. "Because if so, I'm through with him. I'm through with all of this shit."

"I am telling you the truth. Look in my eyes," I begged him. "But please don't overreact, Julian. Maybe he was just joking around."

I could not explain why I was suddenly defending Devon. Really, I just wanted Julian to calm down and not make any rash decisions.

"Mason said not to believe that idiot." Julian shook his head. "I should have known you wouldn't do anything like that. I'm sorry for insinuating, Brooke. I just can't bear the thought of you with someone else, especially not him."

I wrapped my arms around him and kissed the side of his neck.

"I don't know what has happened to you in your life, Julian. But if there's one thing you never have to worry about from me, it's that. You can trust me," I swore to him.

Relief washed through my veins as he held me flush to his body.

"I know. I'm sorry." His voice cracked at the end.

"No sorries." I kissed his cheek.

"You... didn't think that I brought other girls back, did you?" He looked me straight in the eye.

"That's kind of what I thought he meant, talking about favorites, but you've told me that isn't true," I said, with the hope he would explain.

"You are the only one. He's just jealous. He thinks you're fit." Julian brushed stray hairs out of my face. "But you are my favorite as well."

"Your favorite what?" I asked, somewhat lost.

"Everything. You have my favorite lips." He kissed me softly.

"My favorite smile, with or without teeth showing." His thumb brushed my lower lip as it turned up into a grin.

"You have my favorite eyes." Julian stared at me so severely that I was sure no other man had ever looked at a woman in quite the same way Julian was looking at me.

"You have my favorite mind." Julian planted a kiss on my left temple, and tapped his index finger gently on my forehead.

"But mostly..." Julian bent his knees and placed his ear on my chest, just left of center. "You have my favorite heart."

He kissed the skin on top of where he heard the loudest beating.

"Julian," I sighed his name.

I held him for the shortest minutes of my life. It would have never been long enough, because eventually, I would have to let go.

One thing was certain: Julian came into my life quickly, unexpectedly, and turned everything upside down in the best possible way. None of it made sense, but at the same time, everything did. There was no going back now. After Julian Miles, I would never be the same.

"We should go out there. If you want to watch me, anyway. You can sit behind the curtain on my side of the stage." Julian rubbed his eyes. No tears were left on his cheeks but redness still encompassed his pupils.

I held his calloused hand—gripping at it, as if every force in the world would try to tear my trembling fingers from his—and Julian led us to stage left. The muffled, clamorous cheering of the crowd was no match for the deafening volume of my own thoughts.

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2. "Live Like We're Dying" by Kris Allen

3. "Creep" (cover) by Jen Knight

4. "Only Girl (In the World)" (cover) by Boyce Avenue

5. "Under the Sea" (cover) by Jonathan Young