"Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness."

—Maya Angelou

The summer night's air was warm, almost unbearably so, but every few minutes, a refreshing breeze would kiss my skin, cooling it slightly. This alone made inhaling and exhaling somewhat easier. Inhaling, exhaling. In that regard, I needed all the help that I could get.

Breathe, Brooke, I reminded myself.

Small bursts of wind found their way through the thin, dark fabric of my dress—something I normally wouldn't have worn. In spite of the toasty temperature, I kept my jean jacket secured over my torso. My arms weren't exactly ones worth showing off.

While pacing—resembling a human boomerang—I shoved my nervous hands into the pockets of my jacket. Contained there were two sticks of cinnamon gum, a hair tie, and three five-dollar bills—which would have to be enough to last me through the evening. The itinerary of the rest of the night, though, was still vastly unknown. To keep my mind from circling around that very thought, I began to closely examine my surroundings.

Parked just down the sidewalk from me, I could see two vacant taxis. For once, I sighed in relief at my good fortune.

With my right hand, I clutched at my phone... waiting. I'd grown tired of counting the minutes since leaving Ascend the Stars' dressing room, and therefore stopped myself, at least momentarily, from continuing to obsessively study the screen of my cell. For this reason, I no longer had any idea how long it had been. Nonetheless, I was growing restless. Every silent moment that passed was another strike to my fragile ego.

By the time 11:34 p.m. rolled around—and I had finally caved in enough, to check the time once more—I was sure that nothing was going to happen. There was a slight urge to calm the strange aching inside of me, by trotting off to find my car, with Laina waiting patiently inside it, somewhere in the lot around the corner. A form of familiarity. Instead, I stayed exactly where I was, standing outside an arena that was growing more and more desolate.

Pretty soon, it would've been just me and the janitors, I concluded.

Five more minutes passed, and then another five. Surely he would've called by now, I thought. He said he just needed to shower. The abounding weight of rejection seemed to fall upon my small body instantaneously—like boulders from the sky—abruptly crushing me into nothingness upon the pavement. I began to feel pathetic for being so gullible, or so crazy. It had to be one of the two.

The sting of tears building was paining my eyes. Quickly, furiously, I blinked hard. No. I was not going to cry. I had no reason to cry. This had been an incredible evening, albeit strange. Laina would have likely committed any number of atrocious crimes for the very same opportunity I had been freely given earlier, I told myself. I had no reason to feel this way.

Enough moping. Just enjoy it for what it was.

Sluggishly, and somewhat defeatedly, I walked down the opposite direction of the sidewalk, towards the corner. Once I turned it, I knew I would've been able to find my car in the lot—the lot which would have surely been mostly empty by then. But a pulsing sensation in my palm stopped me dead in my tracks. My phone was ringing, and displayed upon the screen was a number I did not recognize.

+44 signified the country code.

I let it ring twice more before garnering the courage to answer. Slowly, I lifted the device to my ear.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Hello, Brooke?" a familiar, silky voice chimed back.

"Yes," I said, somewhat apprehensively.

"Hey, it's Julian." He breathed excitedly. "You okay?"

"Yeah," I managed to mutter. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"I hope you are. Look, I'm terribly sorry for making you wait so long. Our manager thought it'd be better to wait for the crowds to clear out a bit before we drove the bus anywhere."

Logic took too long to hit me: he was not even there at the arena anymore.

"You're already at your hotel?" I asked.

"I am," Julian replied, his voice casual and sweet.

I tried to gulp down the lump forming in my dry throat.

"Yeah, so, um..." There was an endearing nervousness in his tone. "Would you still like to come over to chill for a bit?"

"Yes. Where should I meet you?" I asked, being careful not to say his name aloud, just in the rare case that a lingering someone might have overheard.

"Come to The W," Julian said. "Here's what you do: go straight inside and don't mingle with the fans outside. Act like you're not a fan at all."

I listened intently, waiting for him to continue.

"Simply act like you're a guest of the hotel," Julian said. "Once inside, go straight through, to the lift. Come up to the fourth floor. Nobody should bother you, if you move quickly. But if anyone from the hotel staff happens to stop you, and asks who you are, just say your room reservation is under 'Riley.' They will know what it means."

"Okay," I said, taking it all in. "And from there, when I get off the elevator, where do I go?"

"I'll have someone come and escort you from there," Julian said. "Just let me know when you're coming?"

"I'm coming now," I said, while turning around to jog toward the cabs.

"I'll be waiting for you then. See you soon, Brooke," Julian said as he hung up.

Without a single moment to waste, I ran up to the taxi and frantically knocked on the window. He rolled it down for me.

"Excuse me," I said, interrupting the driver's restful state. "Are you vacant? In service?"

The driver shook off his sleepiness and told me to get in.

"Where to?" he asked.

"Take me to the W Hotel, please," I said.

He plugged it into his GPS, and I saw that we were only a couple miles away. I had not realized, initially, how close it was to the arena. This relieved me. I would definitely have enough money to get there and get back, I thought. Walking might have been doable, but I wanted to get there as quickly as possible. Despite the insanity of what I was doing, I reasoned with myself that it was probably better to take a cab at that hour in the city as a single female, anyway. And I shouldn't have kept Laina waiting for a minute longer than necessary.

I knew, full well, that this was crazy. This reckless behavior was completely unlike me... but maybe, that was exactly what I needed. A change. A big change. I had spent so long behaving... so long listening to others and doing exactly what they told me to do.

I'd grown up too quickly. And, once grown, I'd gotten tangled up with the wrong person. I never had the chance to live freely, and to make my own decisions and mistakes. Maybe I was an adult, and therefore should have known better, but I was still young. Better than anyone else, I comprehended that we had but one life to live. Mine had mostly been spent in misery, but this was a chance at... something else. This entire evening, it was something different. It was something other than the miserable, lonely nights to which I had grown so accustomed.

It was new. It was terrifying. It was thrilling. Best of all, it was an escape.

And, with an opportunity like this, I never wanted to wonder what if.

I sent off a rapid text to Laina, on the way there.

Can you sit tight for just a little while? I'm going to hang out with him. And don't get worried, I'm okay.

A pang found its way inside my chest. I knew Laina could take care of herself—probably better than I could have taken care of myself. I knew, too, that she would be relatively safe inside my car, with the keys still available to her. If she wanted to, or needed to, Laina could have taken the car elsewhere, at any point in time. Nonetheless, guilt chipped away at my edges to leave her like this. It worsened at the thought I was stealing this opportunity all for myself.

Staying true to myself, I was once again locking her out and running away. Laina had been my rock, and I never really deserved a friend like her. I wasn't sure that I deserved much of anything anymore.

I forced the aching feeling down, and soothed the burn by telling myself this wouldn't last long. I would be back to Laina soon.

Before I knew it, we were pulling up to the front entrance of the hotel. With the blood already pumping wildly throughout my veins, I tried my best to avoid staring at the structure for too long. The grand size and sophistication of the building was intimidating enough, but nothing could have made my body tremble as much as the uncertainty of the evening that awaited me, along with the curious boy staying on the fourth floor.

Towards the front seat of the taxi, I threw some money. While hopping out, I rushed a "thank you" through my bare lips. Whether or not the driver had heard me was unclear, as he hastily counted the cash and slowly began to pull away. As I stood there, alone, I took just a moment to fix the folded hem along my thighs, breathe deeply, and gaze around inconspicuously.

Waiting outside the hotel was a small crowd of people, mostly girls, and a fair number of them were wearing Ascend the Stars memorabilia. With the memory of Julian's instructions in my ear, I walked straight past them, not interacting at all. No smiles, no words, no eye contact of any sort.

After climbing the steps, I found myself inside a beautiful lobby. The decorations were gorgeous and distracting, with nearly every detail serving as a delight to my eyes. Nevertheless, I kept moving, as to not call any unnecessary attention to myself. Covertly, I found my way toward the empty elevators and hit the button, watching it illuminate.

During those few, precious moments alone in the elevator, the evening's earlier happenings played out in my mind, illuminated in a sort of fast-forward matinee. For just a couple of seconds, I allowed myself to feel anxious, jittery, flustered, and sort of like I was doing something very wrong.

Maybe I was. Regardless, I was not turning around.

Floor one. I hope I don't smell. Am I sweating? I took a sniff test. All good.

Floor two. What am I doing here? I exhaled deeply.

Floor three. I hope he doesn't expect me to drink or smoke. What does he expect?

Floor four. Please let this be real. Please don't let this be a mistake. Please don't let me mess this up. Please...

The elevator dinged, and the doors opened. With my nerves on fire, I stepped off, and turned into the hallway. Decorative bowls of potpourri gave the cool, conditioned, wafting air a fresh aroma of lavender. As I moved, slowly and calculatedly, I noted the zigzag designs—left by an earlier vacuuming session—in the carpet. Toward the left end of the hall, I peered, but it was empty down there. Toward the right I peeked, and immediately spotted a tall, suited man casually strolling the corridor. Right away, he spotted me and started coming over.

Oh no.

"Are you Brooke?" the dark-haired, stocky man asked.

As he awaited my reply, the man's black eyes peered into mine with a notable severity... and just the slightest hint of curiosity.

While attempting to suppress my surprise, I nodded.

"Come this way," he said sternly.

I followed behind him—staring at the subtle wrinkles in the fabric of his jet-black jacket—almost to the end of the long hallway. Somewhat abruptly, he stopped at a door and turned around to face me again. Down into my widened eyes, he stared. "Do you have any mobile phones or cameras?"

"I just have my phone," I said, showing him.

"Let me hold it," he demanded. "You'll get it back when you leave."

Weird, I thought. I handed it to him.

He knocked on the door next to him. From inside, I heard a muffled voice say, "Come in."

My heart pounded against my chest with the force of a thousand armored tanks. I heard it echo inside my ears. I was sure this brawny, burly man heard it, too.

He slid a key-card into the door, grabbed the handle, and held the door open for me, with his hand extended inside, inviting me to go in.

I took three small steps inside the room, where Michael Bublé was playing softly by the bed. Behind me, the door fell shut. The harsh sound of it made me jump a little.

Julian stepped into my view, wearing dark gray sweatpants, a white tank top, and a Batman cap... which he immediately took off and threw across the room.

"Hey," Julian said with a surreally beautiful, beaming smile.

Momentarily frozen from my haywire nerves, I stayed put and eyed him carefully. Silently.

"Come here." He motioned into the room with one hand. "I promise, I won't bite."

1. "Uncover" by Zara Larsson

2. "Is There Somewhere" by Halsey

3. "Pressure" by The 1975