Emma

it has been a week since Noah and i broke it up. throughout this whole week i hadn't heard anything from Ethan, nor did i go to school due to my very persistent flu that simply didn't budge from any medicine i took. in times like these, i always remember my grandma. she used to have this weird theory that when your soul is sick your body becomes sick too, and i couldn't agree more to it than now.

i rolled off the bed with my blanket still hanging low on my slightly better body. i sniffed a bit, warming up to go to the bathroom. i entered and did my business with utter difficulty, struggling with the blanket, not aiming on letting it get unwrapped from around me.

''what the hell is that, Emma?'' Abby asked, as she barged into the bathroom, looking dumbfounded by the way i was acting.

my hair was a big mess, darting in all directions. my eyes had dark circles and my face looked pale and lifeless. and don't get me started about the the pajama that hasn't been changed since what? 4 days? i guess i lost count.

i shrugged at her, and quickly went out of the bathroom to the bed as i hopped on it like an injured bunny. suits me well for slacking off, anyways.

she followed me to the bed and tried to snatch the blanket away from me, but who is she kidding? Abby can be stubborn at times, but she can never beat me at my own game. it comes to me naturally, being hot headed. i glared at her, and forcefully took my blanket back. as if she took it anyways, pfftt...

''no but seriously. aren't you thinking about taking a shower?'' she asked me, shooting me a disgusted expression. i grinned annoyingly at her and turned my back to her, giving her a full view of the bulky blanket, revolving around my back.

i heard her groan as she stomped to the bed in total distaste and plumbed down on the bed tiredly. ''Emma, talk to me, please!'' she said softly, a vulnerable side showing through her voice. i shut my eyes tightly, hating the fact that this has been happening since last week.

i heard the creak of the door as it opened and someone entered, but i couldn't know who as i was giving everything my back view.

''Emma,'' i heard a gentle voice, it was Nora's. her footsteps echoed through the room as she neared us. and maybe some other people entered the room, but i didn't pay attention anymore.

i was looking at the opened window in front of me. my eyes watered involuntarily, causing a heart ache to grip me hard. i placed a hand on my chest and held my shirt tightly, thinking that this would ease the pain. somehow, his smell didn't leave me since that day, and i am not sure if i was happy with this fact. sometimes it gave me comfort, but most of the time it made me angry and upset about the idea of not being in his embrace.

i bit my lip hard, mastering the best fake smile i have, and slowly raised in a sitting position. Abby was on the bed next to me while Nora, Della and Veronica were standing in the middle of the room. they all looked concerned and i felt really bad that i was the reason of their sadness.

i climbed off the bed and left the blanket on the bed, which is very unlike me but their faces had me guilty. i smiled at them and stretched my sore limbs keeping eye contact.

''what's up with the faces?'' i laughed it off, and they eyed me weirdly as if i had grown two heads, or maybe they were seeing me naked. these perverts!

i kept on laughing as my legs took me to my humble closet to choose fresh clothes. i brought out a dark green hoodie and black leggings. ''i will shower and get back to you guys. what about telling mum to make her significant pancakes?!'' their faces stayed the same as i tried to act cheerful as in telling me 'we are not buying it, so cut the crab.'

giving them my back, i entered the bathroom, and once i did, uncontrollable tears fell from my eyes. my hand clutched my mouth shut, afraid i would produce any kind of noise. my eyes stung and my throat tightened at the intensity of my feelings. i was crying with such passion that could burn down the whole world. my body shook vigorously, and i found myself positioning my trembling body on the floor as i let the tears flow.

God! how is it possible to miss someone that much?!

i miss him so much, all i wanted was to bury myself in his embrace. feel warmth spread through me from just one look. his teasing and playfulness. all i wanted to do was rip Ethan's head off for making me endure this. i need Noah more than anything in the world and yet Asher seemed to also find a way to ruin it for me. how much i hate that bastard!

i got up from my place and switched the hot water on while stripping from my dirty clothes. i got under the shower and let the water cover me fully in hopes of giving me some warmth, but the feeling i desired could never be replaced.

i scrubbed my body forcefully and shampooed my hair vigorously, getting rid of some of the hidden anger underneath my skin. did it make me feel better? not even one bit.

i twirled a dry towel around my quivering form and stepped out of the shower. i wore the clothes i chose for myself and brushed my hair thoroughly without looking at the mirror. satisfied with the progress, i exited the steaming bathroom to find no one in the room and a relived sigh escaped my lips. i wore some basic socks and taking a deep breath, i descended the stairs.

''baby sis feels better?'' Logan was the first to speak once i reached down. i gave him a grin with a thump up. Lucas and i were not really on speaking terms, but it was absolutely better and less tense than before, so i didn't mind it.

taking a seat next to dad, mum served us our plates and we all dug in, but the girls' stares didn't go un-noticed by me as from time to time, they would send me suspicious glances that i had to receive and give them a questioning look instead. overall, it was tiring.

we were eating breakfast at 08:00 pm, but both families have undying love for pancakes that we can eat it anytime, anywhere.

i got up from my chair as i finished eating, and was about to go to the kitchen to fetch myself some water when Abby spoke, ''weren't you hungry?''

''yea... and i ate?'' i answered, neglecting the glare she was sending me.

''well, the Emma i know used to eat what? 4 pancakes? not half a one at least.'' she muttered eyeing my untouched plate. i couldn't find it in myself to eat, nor did i find the appetite to eat by, so i decided to go, but what i didn't know that there were eyes watching my every movement.

''she is right, though.'' Della commented as Nora and Veronica nodded, agreeing with them. instead of answering them, i gave them a simple shrug and resumed walking to the kitchen all the while biting my lip. i fetched myself a bottle of water and nearly chugged half of it in one gulp.

xxx

''so you are feeling better, right?'' Veronica asked me, her eyes reflecting a challenging look. i nodded non the less and looked away from her. we were now in my room doing absolutely nothing in particular. some were watching FRIENDS, including me, and others were painting their nails, but i wasn't focusing in any of that.

''so what about going to a club, today?'' Veronica suggested. i swallowed the lump that formed in my throat at her tone. she was trying to get something else out of me, but i was not giving up.

Della shrieked excitedly, holding the nail polish bottle in one hand, ''yes, please!''

''goddamn! you took it out of my mouth, Veronica.'' Abby added, looking at me with a smirk.

''meh, i don't know,'' i said, and all of them eyes me weirdly, ''i naturally hate clubs and parties...'' i got cut off.

''yes me too, but i think it's needed once in a while, you know?'' Nora interjected with a peaceful look on her face.

they didn't wait for me to say anything and decided to go roam around my closet for clothes. i slapped my face mentally and groaned out loud in displeasure.

''what the freak! this closet is boring as fuck.'' Veronica commented after spending a good five minutes searching for outfits.

Abby laughed, ''hey hey, let's go to my room instead, come on, Emms.'' they all followed her outside joyfully, leaving me to my own thoughts. i clutched my face in annoyance; however, i stood up and went after them in less excitement.

we greeted Abby's parents and ascended the stairs to her room. once inside, they spread like bees in all directions, attacking Abby's closet. they ruffled clothes out and threw shoes away, and in a matter of a minute the tidy room that once was there was replaced by a chaotic room full of clothes everywhere.

''where are your shorts?'' Veronica asked Abby as she got out of the closet with a top in her hand. Abby pointed at one of the drawers in her vanity, still looking for clothes herself. Veronica headed to the vanity at the far end of the room and started choosing herself a short.

for the next 30 minutes all they did was try to find the 'perfect club outfit' shit. and i... well, i enjoyed the show displayed in front of me from the bed.

Della turned to me, holding clothes in both hands as she eyes me questionably, ''where is your outfit?''

''here!'' Abby chirped as she threw me some pieces from her closet. i eyed her weirdly and turned my gaze to the clothes i had in hand; black leather skirt and a thin strapped white top. i almost laughed at her choice of clothes as she know pretty well that i don't wear clothes like these...at least not any more.

i sighed and looked at her tiredly, ''what makes you think i will wear them, Abby?'' my voice reflected annoyance.

she started coming closer to me, in her hands a pair of red heels, ''they will look heavenly on you.'' she dropped the heels in my lap.

''no, i won't wear them, this is silly!'' i fought her, standing up from the bed after leaving the items on it.

''pretty please, Emma! you will look so good in this outfit! plus you get to choose when it's time to leave, how about that?'' Nora buzzed in, trying to convince me. i closed my eyes and clenched my fists in anger, but decided to hide it behind my features instead of showing it to them. i opened my eyes again only to be faced with the faces of concern and worry, but they were quick to mask it with excitement again.

i knew what they were doing here. they wanted to pressure me so that i would break and open up to them, but the last thing i wanted was to talk about what was happening, so i won't give up no matter what.

feeling helpless, without a word, i charged to the bathroom, not feeling comfortable enough to change in front of them due to the few kicks i received from Ethan that day as they bruised. stripping from my clothes, i eyed the slightly bruised skin of my stomach and winced a bit upon touching them. then, my eyes involuntarily switched to look at my scar on the low hip area.

feeling my throat thickening from the intensity of my emotions, i decided to get dressed instead of looking at them. when i was done changing, i exited the bathroom to find the beauties already dressed and applying makeup.

Della was in a satin golden top that showed half of her spotless back, and a pair of washed jeans, all paired with black heels showing her perfectly manicured nails. as for Abby she was wearing a pink tight skirt and a black top with transparent tight sleeves, paired with black heels as well. classy Nora was in a thin strapped white dress that clung to her figure like a second skin. Veronica being the fierce one out of us was wearing black shorts and a black top that displayed her whole back through filthy thin straps joined together at the back as she paired the whole look with a red heels that looked kind of similar to mine.

''WOHOOO!'' Veronica whistled at me while applying a layer of nude lipstick. i smiled sincerely at her in return.

''i swear you've never looked better.'' Abby kissed my cheek, showing me off in front of a mirror. the outfit truly good on me, but it didn't hide the fact that my face looked shallow with no trace of life.

i felt Della nearing me, in her hand some red lipstick as she tried to put the thing on my lips. i stumbled away from her, ''you are dreaming! i hate makeup.''

''yeah yeah, she actually does hate this fantastic invention, she is crazy.'' Abby defended me, really. Nora chuckled at my behavior and came in front of me with a simple lip gloss in her hand. she applied it carefully on my lips and i let her do so because i have no hate towards lip gloss, somehow.

i left my hair as it is as it covered my shoulders in its wavy form, and the girls were curling each other's hairs.

descending the stairs together, we grabbed the attention of Abby's and my parents. the moms were having a surprised look on their faces; however, they didn't have the same pissed off expression the dads were handling professionally.

''my, my, look at the beauties!'' mum gushed at aunt Scarlett, throwing suspicious looks.

''i know it's not our place to talk, but mind me asking you where the hell are you going?'' Uncle Daniel said sarcastically, his voice coated with anger. my dad kept looking at me, silently, giving me 'i will tickle you to death' look, but he was serious, though.

''chill, dudes!'' Abby interjected, ''we are going to an all girls party at one of our colleagues at school.'' she lied, and may i add, stupidly?

''an all girls party with these clothes? what are we? idiots with shit on our pants?'' dad asked us, and the girls couldn't help but chuckle at his remark.

''hey, hey, hey, old man! what do you mean? do you think we do this for boys? utterly and absolutely useless boys? this is actually the reason why we decided to go out and do this all females party just to prove people who think like you wrong!'' Abby defended her lie, ''we dressed up for us! to feel good about our bodies and self esteem. the girls there will be dressed like this too, so please all we need here is support and nothing else!'' damn....

she just made one hell of a feminist speech.

they looked speechless as well, and some of them looked shocked and there was who dropped their jaws to the ground.

''then how come Emma looks sad?'' mum asked, eyeing me carefully like a piece of paperwork.

''w-what?! no, no, no. i am not upset at all. it's just that i have forgotten about this and went into deep slumber, and they had to wake me up.'' i lied through my teeth.

''where are the boys?'' Della asked about a specific one of them.

''uh, they went to study at Carter's.'' the girls laughed hard. however, i just didn't have the energy to participate with them, but that doesn't mean that what mom had said makes sense what so ever. the boys? studying? pick your bogger instead...

xxx

we stood in front of the the new club that opened not long ago after we had hailed a cab. the girls were busy adjusting their clothes while i stood rooted in my place, absolutely regretting my decision of coming here. i should have stayed in bed, wrapped in my blanket, and to hell with it! but i couldn't see their sad faces, longing for me to smile again, and i so coldly brush them off. i just couldn't.

Abby came and placed one hand over my shoulder, and together they pushed me inside and in front of the security guards.

Abby whispered something to the hulk standing there, and in return he nodded in acknowledgement, moving out of the way so we could enter. what did she tell him, so he could get us inside instead of this long line of people waiting?

groans were heard from the line before us, but we naturally ignored them and entered. once inside, my ears hurt from the strength of the music that was playing. lights nearly blinded me as they pierced through my beads violently. people were dancing, grinding each other as if there was no tomorrow, and suddenly, i felt bile rise to my throat. i already hated it here.

''let's go the the bar!'' Nora screamed over the music and we did as she told. we moved through the sea of sweaty people just to get to the bar as if it was towns away. finally, and after what seemed like forever, we reached there where there were people standing as well, but from my perspective, they looked more decent than those who were dancing on the floor.

''what would you like to drink?'' Veronica asked us. everyone said their drinks except for me as i stayed quiet. i was not feeling it at all.

''i will have water?'' it came out as a question instead of a solid answer.

''scratch that!'' she screamed at my face and turned to the bartender, ''ello there, mate!'' she chirped and it seemed like she knew exactly how to socialize, ''bring us vodka shots as much as you can, along with beers.''

the bartender was a man of 20s. he had blonde hair and his eyes were pale blue, but they weren't the type to draw you in, instead they simply made me feel disgusted as he eyed us in a man-whore manner with them. i wanted to slap him hard across the face, not liking the idea that he was eyeing Veronica's chest as if it was his most wanted prize.

''eyes up here, buddy.'' i interjected his dirty thoughts as i snapped my fingers before him. he looked at me instead, and it seemed like he had this look in his eyes all the time, as his kind of gaze didn't waver.

''and what should i bring the beautiful lady?'' he asked, winking at me.

''the lady told you, i believe.'' i clenched my jaw hardly, trying so hard not to lash out on him. i thanked god my cleavage wasn't showing, only my arms and the whole length of my legs.

he eyed me creepily for some prolonged moments with amusement dancing in his eyes before he shifted his attention to the drinks in question. i found myself huffing annoyed breaths of air as the girls looked at me, apparently sensing my off mood. i shrugged and kept my gaze fixed to the dance floor, non the less.

''let's dance?'' Della asked to lighten up the mood. they all looked at me hopefully, giving me silent puppy eyes. smiling at how cute they are, i nodded, ''go and i will join in a second just need to pee.'' happy glints stuck to their eyes that made a tad better.

i gave them my back and stumbled upon my heels as i tried to find my way around the bathroom. finally, spotting the narrow hallway at the far end of the place, my legs started walking to it. i entered it quietly, feeling quiet uneasy as the hall seemed less quiet and...lifeless?

my eyes glimpsed the bathroom door as a small neon lamp lit the dark place indicating that this is the girls'.

i entered, and somewhat felt a whole lot better as the bathroom itself felt less creepy. i went to the mirrors and splashed my face with some water and spared myself a small glance.

satisfied, i took a tissue paper and dried the residue of the water off my face in a quick manner. i was about to exit the averagely sized room when i heard coughs outside that made me stick to my place. my heart rate picked up and i didn't find it in myself to get out. what if it is some drunken psych? for all i care, i didn't wish to spare my life this easy.

i stayed like this for moments and when i didn't hear anything anymore, i decided the quicker i am outta here, the better. gripping the door handle, i twisted it open and stepped outside to the cool air of the hall. it was empty.