Asmara was sitting on the bed,putting her head on her joined knees,she was staring at the floor where Hashim was standing a few moments ago,she was numb,her senses were shut,she was looking foreigner to her surroundings and It seemed that,the floor is the most interesting thing for her as she was staring at that without blinking her eyes.Her eyes were hollow devoid of any emotions.

She was feeling so lifeless that she was unable to either cry or react.

Shiza entered her room and seeing her condition she got scared...she had listened Asmara wailing and yelling"My biggest mistake was marrying you Mr.Hashim and I regret it..."

But she didn't went inside first,as she wanted them to sort their matter by themselves but when Hashim left the house with teary eyes...Shiza got to know there is something big issue.

"Asmara?"She called her name.

But Asmara was in her own world,she just kept staring at the floor.

"Asmara beta?"She sat close to her.

Asmara looked towards her mother with a void in her eyes.

"Is everything okay?"Her mother asked.

But Asmara neither spoke nor showed anything on her face,just kept staring at the floor again.

"Hashim was weeping when he left."Shiza said and Asmara looked towards her mother in a reflex as if she got all her senses back listening to Hashim's name.

"W...why?"She questioned her mother but it was more like questioning herself.

"Do you regret marrying him?"

Her mother asked and it pricked her heart.

"Mama please!...please don't say this."Asmara pleaded as her heart became restless.

"Look you are not able to listen to your own words,what have Hashim done that he had to bear all those words from the one he loves the most,cares the most...he treats you like you are his most precious possession,he treats you like a mother treats her baby,he stood up for you against his family because he had promised to never hurt you ever,he took your responsibilty as a father do for her daughter and he made you smile like your brother used to do...and you still said those words to him?"

Shiza asked and by her every word Asmara felt a pang in her heart.

"Mama...I don't,I never wanted this Mama,I don't know how I did this,how can I do this?"She questioned her herself as she was slowly realizing her words and how would Hashim have felt while listening to them.

"Asmara sometime we do very big mistakes,by hurting our most loved ones...I know you did it unknowingly,unintentionally but I wish you shouldn't have done this."

"M..mam...mama you know,I...I told Baba how happy I was now a days and this was all because of Hashim Mama,because he keeps me happy...infact he makes me happiest,if you don't believe me Mama...you can ask Baba,I told him all of this...you can ask him."

Asmara was now crying trying to convince her mother to believe that she really was happy with Hashim and she didn't mean those words,she didn't even know how those words left her mouth.

"I know,I know everything meri jan...but may I know why you said this...you told him about pregnancy and then yelled on him?"Her mother asked.

And Asmara got to remember that Slap...she put her hand on her cheek unknowingly...she said those words when Hashim slapped her but no...she is not gonna tell anyone that he slapped her because she know if her Mama and Baba got to know this they will not like Hashim as before,they'll not trust him as before and they might scold him and she doesn't want to put her Husband's dignity at stake."we will get normal again in sha Allah but telling Mama about that slap will make Hashim low in Mama's eyes and I don't want that...I'll never tell this to Mama or anyone."Asmara was talking to herself.

"Mama...I told him about the pregnancy and he was happy,very much happy *Asmara smiled remembering his happy face* but then I said that this baby is a mistake and I can't handle this mess and I want to abort it and then I said those words which I shouldn't have."Asmara told her mother everything except that slap part.

"You don't want this baby?"

Her mother was shocked,firstly she thought that Asmara is just tensed as Hashim was not there and that's why she is reacting that way but now after listening that Asmara wanted to do abortion,she really got tensed.

"Mama...I don't know,I can't handle this baby,you know the way I react,the way I hurt people,the way I break my loved ones,I am scared,I am scared Mama,that I don't want to hurt another loved one...I don't know what I want...I'll get mad Mama."

Asmara held her head as she got the severe headache due to crying,stressing and ofcourse as she was unwell and on the top of that she haven't eaten anything.

"Relax...relax my daughter,I'll bring you something to eat and then take medicine,you are not well,don't think about all these things for now."Shiza kissed her forehead and headed to take food and medicine for Asmara.

"Mama...I don't feel like eating,please Mama."Asmara said but her mother fed her food and gave her medicine tucking her to bed she went out.

___________________________________

Hashim went to his apartment as he left Mr.Ali's house.He was crying all the way on his return,tears were overflowing from his eyes,blurring his vision time to time.Asmara's words were echoing in his mind breaking his heart.What I did that she regret marrying me...did I snatch all her happiness?He was thinking continuously.

He went inside his apartment,which was deadly silent and the silence was scary to him.This house has the scent to Asmara in all of its corners.He closed his eyes as his pain was unbearable.He didn't stopped his tears and cried his heart out sitting in the lounge area,he has no courage to move inside his bedroom,their bedroom.

After crying continuously for hours,he went to kitchen and took some painkillers as his head was hurting badly.

After that he got up and went to offer prayer...

After the Salah he kept sitting on the prayer mat...he has no one to talk to except Allah and he was gonna pour his heart out in front of the one only who can bring his happiness back.

"Ya Allah...I was so so happy when I got to know about her pregnancy but then I got the biggest shock,how can she stoop so low that she wants to kill my baby,my blood...not just mine,its hers too... But then I stooped more lower then her when I slapped her,how can I do this Allah,I never in my life raised hand on anyone and I slapped the one who is my life,my wife,my titli,my happiness...

I know she said the last words that she regret marrying me because I slapped her.I know my Titli,she loves me more than anything else,I know her...she can't say all this in her proper senses.I know her inside out...and what I did next was so shameful of me,I told her that I'll divorce her...I lost my senses Allah...I lost my senses and I said those words to her...I shouldn't have done that...Allah I don't wanna leave my wife and I don't wanna Asmara to kill our baby...Please make her understand this that this baby is not a mistake,its a beautiful gift we are getting from you...please make her realise before it gets too late...Allah I want my Asmi back Allah...All happy,bubbly,cheerful,I want her back...please protect my baby and my titli."After ending the prayer he folded the prayer mat and placed it on the table.

Hashim went to guest room and he held his phone in his hand,thinking whether to call Asmara or not...but the way they fought and their discussion ended he thought Asmara will not talk at this time so he dialed Shiza's number...he wanted to know how is she...he badly wanted to know about her.

___________________________________

Shiza slept with Asmara as Asmara was not well,her phone was placed on the side table of the bed.

Ringing of the phone woke Asmara up,she picked up the call

"Aunty how is Asmara now...is she fine?"these words striked her ear and she checked the phone screen,

It was Hashim who called at this time of the hour to know about her...her well being.Asmara kept quiet muffling her sobs as the tears rolled down from her eyes wetting her cheeks.

"Aunty...hello?are you there?"He

spoke again breaking her trance.

Asmara was unable to control her sobs anymore so she just cut the call.Shiza woke up with Asmara's sobs..."Mama,It was Hashim's call,please talk to him,tell him I am okay,I can't...I can't talk."

"Calm down,I am gonna call him,don't cry mera bacha."Shiza caressed her hair and dialed Hashim's number.

He picked up at the very first ring

"Assalamoalaikum aunty?"

"Walaikumusalam beta,how are you?"Shiza asked.

"Fine,tell me how is Asmara?"Hashim asked in urgency.

"She is fine beta."Shiza assured him.

"Did she eat food?"

"Yes she had dinner and I gave her the medicine too...after taking medicine she slept."

"Okay...then I'll talk to you tomorrow,you should sleep now."

Hashim replied as he got a bit relaxed with Shiza's words.

"Hashim beta...Don't take her words at heart,she is silly and she is guilty,she didn't mean what she blurted out...but she loves you with all her heart,please give her a chance."

"I trust her aunty...I know she didn't even realise what she said...I'll talk to you tomorrow,Allah hafiz."Hashim said ending the call.

"Allah hafiz."Shiza ended the call.

"Look he is not angry at you,he is so caring beta,you should go to him by yourself and apologize."

Shiza spoke softly.

"Mama,I don't even have the courage to face him...but I'll do whatever I can to earn his forgiveness...I hurted him badly and now I'll make it upto him."Asmara wiped her tears.

And I'll make it upto my baby too,I am sorry baby,I hurted you too,Asmi is mad and silly but she don't want to hurt you anymore."

Asmara put hand on her belly and then placed her head in her mothers lap,Shiza kept caressing her hair until sleep consumed Asmara.

Dated 6 June,2020.