"Mama,Mama!why Baba was booking three tickets for Uncle and himself people,are you also going with baba?"Asmara asked curiously.

"No,Hashim is going.His exams are over so going for some training in your Baba and Uncle's company."her mother informed her.

"Okay Mama,I am going to my room"Asmara said leaving the hall disappointedly.

"Change your uniform and come to the table.Sara is at her friends place."Shiza said from behind.

Its been 2 months of their lunch date.Hashim never called her,never came to meet her.He was busy in his study and projects and he wanted to give her time to understand their relation.

And it had a great impact on Asmara,she thought that Hashim wanted to use her.She didn't allow him to hold her hand so he stopped talking and meeting her.Her immature brain gave her these ideas because Sana's words were imprinted on her mind.But she also felt void in her heart.She wanted to see him,to talk to him,to listen about him and to talk about him.

Her emotions were jumbled up.Her heart wanted him but her mind never forgot Sana's advice.These mixed emotions,yearning heart and confused mind made her restless day by day.She became irritated on little things,always in a low mood.

And now getting the news of his going aboard made her more restless.She felt pang in her heart.She ran to her room and sat in a corner.She cursed Hashim for nothing.She removed her bracelet harshly from her wrist leaving nail marks on the skin and started crying,wailing loudly,her nose turned red,her khol spread on her cheeks, eyes got swelled.She was having severe headache.

When Shiza entered her room to call her for lunch she saw her state and ran to her daughter.

"Asmara,meri jan!"she only said this when Asmara hugged her tightly clinging to her body,sobbing loudly.Holding her mother's arm she said "Mama..m..mama..he us..used me...Mama!"

Her mother got panicked listening to her ambigous statement"what are you talking about Asmara?who?"her mother asked.

"M..Mama Hash..Hashim,he used me."Asmara said in between her cries.

"Asmara,you know what you are talking about,he is your husband!How can he use you?what happened?Tell me everything,you are scaring me!"

"Mama,Sana told me that boys use girls and he used me!"she again started crying.

"Relax meri jan,tell me what he did to you?"her mother asked.

"Ma.."she said this and fainted.

"Asmara...Asmara...get up!"Shiza yelled tapping her face.

She called Hashim because Mr.Ali and Mr.Ahmed were out of city due to business purpose.

"Asalam..."Hashim received the call.

"Hashim,please come home.Asmara got panic attack.She fainted,please!"

"Relax aunty.I am coming,just 10 minutes."Hashim said.

After ten minutes Hashim came,they took her to hospital.

"Aunty what happened to her so suddenly?Hashim asked sitting with Shiza in the lounge.

"I don't know beta,she was talking nonsense.Is there any problem with you two...I mean are you both okay?"Shiza questioned."She said you used her and I am not understanding her behaviour."Shiza added.

"Can I talk to her aunty? I think she is assuming things.I have to clear all this."Hashim said in determined tone.

Asmara got conciousness after an hour.The doctor told it was due to stress and low Blood pressure because she was not eating properly.They took her back home and went to her room.

Shiza said"I don't know what is happening between both of you but sort it out.I am going."Shiza left the room and closed the door.

"So,How are you??"Hashim asked.

"I mean now how are you?"he corrected himself.

"I..Fine.."she replied with teary eyes.

"I want to ask something,may I?"said Hashim.

She nodded.

"How I used you,care to explain?"

Hashim said while his eyes were red with rage.

"I..I am..so..sorry!"she muttered.

"To hell with your sorry,tell me what your little mind assumed?how I used you damn it!"Hashim yelled.

She flinched at her place,tears coming out of her eyes.

"Don't cry Asmara,I am sorry for yelling but I am hurt,more than hurt due to the accusations you applied on me...please tell me why you felt so?please?"Hashim said softly.

"You..you...will not shout..please."Asmara pleaded.

"I promise Meri Jan but please tell me all things which are running in your mind,share with me and you will feel relax."Hashim replied.

"Sana,my fr..friend..she said you are...usi..using me."She told honestly.

Hashim frowned and asked"how?"

"She said boys use girls."Asmara replied.

"And?"asked Hashim.

"She said if youkissme..."she said hurriedly and then turned quiet.

"What,when she said this to you?"Hashim asked controlling his anger.

"When we went to lunch,before that?"Hashim asked raising his eyebrow.

Asmara nodded and again started crying,covering her face with her hands.

Hashim heaved a sigh of relief.Removing her hands from her face Hashim said"Shh! Asmara don't cry.Relax,it's all okay."

She hugged Hashim tightly,hiding her face in his chest,fisting his shirt in her hands.

Hashim ran his fingers in her hair,caressing them.

She asked another innocent question still hiding her face in his chest"you will not leave me?I thought you will...Sana said."

"I am not leaving you ever and forget what Sana told you."Hashim said having her in his embrace.

"Feeling sleepy,again?"Hashim asked smilingly.

She nodded but never broke the hug.

"Ok,sleep,we will talk later!"Hashim said moving away from her.

She clutched his shirt more tightly...saying"please don't go..please!"

"Asmara lay down,you need to get some sleep.I'll come tommorrow,hmm!

sleep now."He said releasing his shirt from her grip.

"I am not sleepy,please,don't go,please!"Asmara said opening her eyes wide.

Hashim chuckled at her antics and said"ok,I am not going,do you want to talk?"

She nodded and said"promise me you won't tell anyone?"

"Okayy,promise!"Hashim replied.

"Sana asked if you kissed me...I...I lied to her so she said (It's good,if he haven't kissed you because you are only nikahfied.It's not good to be physical.He will start but stop him even from kissing your forehead,he will first kiss your forehead then cheeks and then...leave it,this is not good,boys use girls only so be careful!)I got sacred that day,so at lunch I didn't want to go but you took me there,you held my hand in the car so I jerked it away.After that you became moody,you said you will not talk to me anymore and you never talked so I thought you just wanted to use me.I cursed you everyday but my heart,my heart missed you...I missed you...I don't know why but I never told it to anyone but I felt like telling you,I don't know what is all this?"

She said with teary eyes and moistened cheeks.

"I am sorry...I am sorry,I should have talked to you."Hashim said with contentment shown in his eyes due to her words.

"I listened to you,hmm?now it's my turn...listen carefully."Hashim said and she nodded.

"We both are husband and wife,each others' better half,life partners.No husband uses his wife and we never have been physical dear.I just kissed you few times,might be 3-4 times I guess."

"No...no 6 times."she said cutting Hashim in between.

"Okay 6 times,what's bad about it?your father kisses you,your mother,your sister,so why your husband can't...kissing is not just about love,romance and all it shows care and affection,are you getting my point?Do you feel bad when I kiss you?when you hug me?"Hashim asked.

"N...No..!"Asmara replied immersed in Hashim's words.

"So the problem is solved now?"Hashim asked,Asmara nodded.

Cupping her face Hashim smiled saying"silly girl...my silly girl!"and placed his lips on her forehead.Asmara closed her eyes,held his hands which were cupping her face and smiled.

"And stop counting the kisses!"Hashim said chuckling.

Asmara smiled shyly.

"You cursed me everyday?"Hashim asked raising his eyebrow.

"Sorry."Asmara replied meekly.

"Do you remember sorry is not acceptable without sorry gift?this time I want something very special from you otherwise no apology will be accepted.Hashim told her.

"What... do you want?"Asmara asked hesitantly.

"I want you.You to be my friend,you to trust me,to share your every pain,every problem with me,to come to me if anything bothers you and last but not the least don't curse your poor husband."

Asmara smiled widely listening to him and forwarded her hand for handshake.Hashim grabbed her hand in his and they promised each other to be friends.

"I should leave now Asmara.It's quite late.I have to meet Wali,Allah Hafiz."Hashim said pecking her forehead again and left the room.

Dated 17th feb,2020.