Transphobia, slurs, violence

Killua spent all of work in the presence of nameless men and women. There was a bachelorette party that night in the VIP section and two private sessions in, Killua felt like the music just wasn't sitting right with him. It felt like he was at a club and didn't know any of the songs, the lyrics— none of it .

None of it was working for him when his brain was working around the clock, thinking about Gon-fucking-Freecss .

Killua went to the bar for another shot and there, he found Chrollo sitting with one foot propped up on the spokes of a stool, sipping a gin and tonic. Killua sighed dramatically as he came to stand beside Chrollo, and when he sighed again, Chrollo rose an eyebrow at him.

Killua pouted like he did for customers. Chrollo rolled his eyes and raised a hand out to flag Leorio down.

"Tough night?" Chrollo asked.

"Sort of," Killua said, hand on his hip. "I just did a vibe check and—"

"This night just isn't making the cut, huh," he concluded, and Killua conceded with it.

Leorio arrived, the makings of a Malibu and coke in his hands. He poured the glass and slid it over to Killua, who took one sip and offered a thumbs up as compensation. Leorio put a hand on his hip and glared at Chrollo, and Chrollo tipped him for Killua's sake.

Leorio took the cash with a huff and shook it at Killua, saying, "Just 'cause you're lovesick doesn't mean you don't tip a man."

"Lovesick?" Chrollo repeated, an eyebrow raised.

Killua narrowed his eyes and said, "And how would you know if I'm ' lovesick '? I've got a pretty stellar RBF, dude."

"Yeah, and no one comes to my bar sighing like that unless they're lamenting a loved one," Leorio said.

"We're in a strip club ," Killua cried, indignant. "I can sigh however I want!"

"Yeah, and do it around people who'll pay for it. Now skedaddle, hotshot," Leorio said with a snap of his fingers, and Killua groaned, lifting his drink from the bar.

Chrollo took an idle sip of his gin before swiveling around in his chair to watch Killua walk off. "Feel free to take a night off—there's no shortage of replacements."

"Is that a subtle indication that you can kick me to the curb whenever?" Killua said, turning back to him with a hand on his cocked him.

"It's just me saying that some nights are better spent at home watching Netflix. And please, Silver—as if I could replace you," Chrollo said and with that, turned back around to prop his elbow up on the bar and pretend he hadn't just thrown Killua for a loop.

Killua made a mental tally of his profits that evening and, in the mental math of figuring out groceries and rent, decided that he could afford to spend the rest of the night at home. Thank God for bachelorette parties , he thought as he left to the back room and busied himself with changing and packing away any used lingerie from that evening.

As he waited for his Uber to arrive, his mind was back on the same path as before, the one that made every song feel off-beat and the lyrics gibberish.

Of the things he expected Gon to do, kiss him certainly wasn't on the list.

Killua put a thumb to his bottom lip, the edge of a smirk tugging at them. If I knew he'd do that, I wouldn't have even needed espresso for tonight , he thought, still buzzing with energy. The root cause of it all was Gon's unexpected kiss.

Meanwhile, long after Ikalgo left to catch meal times at the athletic dorms, Gon could be found pacing his apartment in a frantic tizzy.

"What happened to liking Ikalgo! Oh, God, why did I have to do that?!" Gon cried, exasperated with himself. Even he found his brain confusing—he could only imagine what Killua was thinking, or even what Ikalgo was thinking. He was two steps too close to being a slut and that just wouldn't do. Kissing his roommate was off limits .

It made him insufferably tingly inside in ways he couldn't comprehend. He stood in the middle of the living room, lips tingling from the memory of kissing Killua two times over.

He burned like the flames of a bonfire crackling over kindling.

Perhaps he did like Killua more than he anticipated...

The fire in his heart popped with a startling shock the moment he heard the lock on the front door turn. It didn't occur to him that Killua could come home any earlier than midnight, but there he was, trapped in the middle of the apartment with Killua walking in the door at eleven-goddamn-thirty.

Gon yelped, looking for an escape. He could always go to his room, but he had done that every day this week, and he was sick of running. Still, the thought of facing Killua after the Café Incident nearly pushed him to the brink of cardiac arrest.

They stared at one another down the length of the foyer hallway, their eyes widening at the realization that fuck , now they had to talk to one another.

"I-I can explain!" Gon squeaked, like he was just caught standing over Mr. Windham's body, drenched in his blood. He would have stashed the gun by then—but we can strike the from the record, your honor, since it was speculation and—

Wait , he thought, why am I on trial again? This isn't Legally Blonde!

The door shut behind Killua. He stepped out of his shoes, his duffle over one shoulder. Gon sucked in a sharp breath, hands grappling for anything— anything! —that might help him now. "I-I thought it might be suspicious! Yeah, if you asked and I didn't, um, k-kiss you, so I just—"

Killua tossed his duffle aside and approached Gon in the middle of the living room, saying, "Oh, is that it?"

Gon blushed, eyes wide. "Y-Yeah, that's it. Didn't want to... seem suspicious."

Killua's eyes scanned his, and then dipped lower. Gon became aggressively aware of the fact that he was biting his lip. He quit biting it immediately, but by then, the focus was already there, and fuck . He was looking at Killua's lips. Stop looking at his mouth, that's weird! he thought to himself, and looked further down instead. STOP LOOKING AT HIS CROTCH —

"If you're trying to convince him that we're in a relationship," Killua said, and Gon's eyes were caught on Killua's again, "then you should learn how to actually kiss."

Gon's heart stopped in his chest just to throw its head back and scream, GOD, YES, PLEASE . Instead, however, he merely said, voice cracking to a higher octave, "That, um—That makes sense."

The edge of a smirk tugged at Killua's lips. "Do you want me to show you how it's done?" he asked, taking a step closer, so Gon could smell the cologne on Killua's clothes and the tinge of the club still on his skin.

He sucked in his breath and wondered if Killua could tell what he ate for dinner that night, or maybe that he wears Old Spice deodorant. Killua seemed like the type of guy who wore Dior.

"Y-Yeah," Gon whispered, his eyes the size of the moon.

"You sure?" Killua asked, and Gon swallowed hard at the sound of Killua's voice pitched lower, quieter, like they were in a room filled with people and Killua wanted nothing more than to stand there and ask Gon if they could smash their lips together.

Gon nodded quickly.

Killua pushed even closer, and Gon's skin tingled at his hip where Killua's hand brushed down to hold him. He stood perfectly still, even as Killua said, "Okay. Close your eyes and hold still. Consider this your first demonstration."

Gon's lips parted, his breath held on his tongue which fell mere centimeters from Killua's lips as their mouths closed together. Gon's eyes closed like they did when he put flowers to his cheek and breathed them in. He did just that, inhaling sharply through his nose as Killua's lips followed through with the motion of gently coaxing Gon towards him. Their chests touched, and Gon held still against him as he memorized the texture of Killua's lips on his.

Killua's free hand cupped Gon's neck, cradled his jawline, before his fingertips grazed beneath Gon's chin as he pulled away.

His eyes fluttered open. He breathed again, staring at Killua's irises as a naïve awe overcame him. Killua's accidental morning kiss and Gon's quick peck didn't feel anything like that .

Was that my first kiss? Gon thought, puzzled, muddled, and all levels of overwhelmed.

"How did that feel?" Killua asked, his hand leaving Gon's waist. Gon had his hands against Killua's chest, unknowingly, and immediately jerked them back.

He passed his hand over his neck where Killua's fingers had held him. Definitely my first kiss , he thought to himself, eyes flitting everywhere but Killua as he considered what he had thought was his first.

When Killua called him Canary.

Shit , he thought, eyes wide. Doesn't he like Canary? Why would he—?

"Do you... like me?" Gon asked, quietly.

Killua startled with a laugh, leaning back on his heels. "I think you know the answer by now. But if you need me to spell it out for your—then yes, I do."

"But—" he started, cheeks red.

Killua raised an eyebrow at him. "What? Doubting my feelings? Would another demonstration convince you or perhaps—" As Killua took a step towards him, Gon squeaked and hurried towards the kitchen, away from Killua's outstretched arms.

Killua let his hands drop to his sides. He watched after Gon, who busied himself with hauling the dirty pot from the stovetop, saying, "I, um, I made more food! Yeah, and since you seemed to like the chicken I made last week I made extra for you. I put your name on the container in the fridge so, um, that's for you. I'm thinking about going grocery shopping again soon so just let me know if you need anything—"

Killua sighed. He supposed he didn't expect anything less, and it'd take time before Gon could fully process it. Besides, they lived together. It was bound to be uncomfortable at the start, but he couldn't deny that the kiss had certainly melted away some of the awkward tension in the air. If only he could just—He wasn't sure.

Perhaps showing physical affection isn't the right route so soon after... he thought to himself as he headed back to the hallway to fetch his duffle. As he threw his clothes in the wash, Gon cleaned up in the kitchen

For a brief moment, Killua wondered what would happen if he walked out of the foyer wearing the lingerie he wore for work that day. The idiot would probably pass out , Killua thought, judging from the way Gon had ogled at him even before he realized who the dancer was on stage.

They night ended quickly for the both of them. With Killua's laundry in the washer, he retired to his room to finish his readings for the next day and, with Killua out of the shared space, Gon finished cleaning and disappeared into his room for the night.

As Gon shut his bedroom door, he stood for a moment to assess the damage. Or rather, the reaction he unknowingly had to Killua's early arrival home that night. In spite of his awkwardness, the hopeful romantic in him was positively tingling. He pressed a hand to his sore cheek, trying to stop himself from smiling and failing tremendously at it.

He put a hand in his hair and laughed to himself. "Well, that'll take some getting used to," he thought aloud before biting his lip, shutting his eyes, and breaking into a little victory dance. He thrust his fists in the air and if he could have screamed " Fuck yeah! " he would have.

But alas, he shared a wall with Killua, and that just wouldn't do.

It would take an enormous amount of willpower for Gon to sleep that night, especially when all he could thing about was that damn kiss . He smiled to himself, huddled under the blankets, and could be found, beaming, in the morning when his alarm chimed and the new day began.

Or rather, instead of his alarm, he was awoken by the ding of an alert on his phone.

Gon pushed himself up onto his elbow, reaching across the mattress to fetch his phone. He turned it over and squinted at the notification. His brain stopped entirely at the title.

Student Housing Services .

He stared at it a moment longer before leaping forward with a start. He kicked his blankets off, eyes wide, and scrambled to open the email.

This was what he was waiting for, wasn't it? Sure, having an apartment was fun and all, but when it came down to it, the freshmen year experience circled around dorm life. It was why he put his name on the waitlist to begin with, and was also why he was quick to read through the email with bright, attentive eyes. If he didn't respond soon enough, he might miss this chance.

"' We have an opening for one in a two-person dorm at Hatsu Hall. If you'd like to claim it, call or visit the student services desk in the Hatsu lobby. We've contacted several other waitlist applicants, so please—' " He couldn't read the rest of it, not when he was balancing on one foot to get his damn jeans on so he could get out the door.

Gon skidded out of the room, grabbing his backpack and guitar case as he went. He pulled the straps of his backpack on, guitar swinging at his side as he haphazardly stepped down to the middle of the living room before realizing that the bathroom light was on, and Killua's shadow was in the hallway.

He came to a screeching halt.

A sick, plummeting sensation grew in the pit of his stomach.

It hadn't occurred to him until that moment that scoring a spot in the dorms meant moving out and leaving Killua behind. Killua, who could maybe, possibly, almost afford to live in this apartment alone, but who knew for sure? Gon certainly didn't, and that uncertainty turned into a grumbling pit of guilt that dampened any excitement he had for hearing about the dorm opening.

Gon strangled the strap on his guitar, frowning down at the ground. He didn't stop to think about what it felt like to live with Killua until that moment. He didn't think to consider how his stupid sleep schedule had him anticipating Killua's late-night returns—even when he chose to hide for those occasions, he couldn't deny the relief he felt every time Killua came home. He didn't think to cherish every time he got to greet Killua at the door, or think to smile at all of Killua's teasing and coarse habits.

He just didn't think about it .

He didn't think about how much he liked living with Killua.

Stop it , he told himself, shaking his head. His mind went back to the kiss, and what it all meant for their relationship as roommates. You can't live with someone you might end up dating!

Would Killua even be interested in me if we didn't live together? he thought.

Perhaps it was all convenience for Killua.

This thought alone steeled Gon against everything else. Even if he liked living with Killua, he couldn't deny the perfection of it. The coincidence that even led to Killua liking him in the first place. Killua never would have been interested in me if we didn't live together , he told himself, and kept walking.

As Gon passed the open bathroom door, Killua straightened over the sink from washing his face. He caught sight of Gon out of the corner of his eye as he grabbed a towel and rubbed it over his face. He went to the edge of the bathroom to say, "Good morning."

Gon slipped on his shoes and said, "Morning!"

"Leaving so early?"

"Yeah, yeah, I've got, uh, an appointment! Yeah, so I gotta get to campus straight away," Gon said without looking back. He swung the door open, keys in hand, and said, "Bye!"

Killua rose an eyebrow as Gon made his escape. He sighed. Back to hiding , he thought, and decided that he wasn't an idiot. He could tell when a person needed boundaries, so he wouldn't push it.

It took only ten minutes that morning for Gon to drive to campus, and another five to park his car. It wasn't quite as busy that morning as the midday rush he was used to. He took his guitar with him with every intention of serenading Zushi at class that afternoon, or maybe practicing in the studios. He did like the idea of composing again, especially when he could hear Killua's simple piano piece trilling in his head and sending him spinning in front of Hatsu Hall.

He bounded up the steps, humming under his breath as he came to the doors and caught sight of Knuckle Bine making his way to the exit for class. They crossed between the two sections of doors and Knuckle gasped with delight.

"Gon! What're you doing here?" Knuckle said, tackling Gon in a hug.

Gon giggled, cheek smushed against the guy's chest. "There's an opening here and I was on the waitlist. I did get an apartment 'cause the dorms were full, so I figured I'd check it out. Meet a potential roomie."

"That'd be so awesome if you lived here!" Knuckle said, and Gon couldn't deny it. It would be nice. Gon wasn't exactly an athlete, but he could picture Knuckle and the other track kids wreaking havoc across the dorm corridors. It'd be amazing to be able to walk a few floors down and knock on a friend's door.

Knuckle released Gon in a hurry, gasping, "I gotta get to class! I'll text you later, all right? Let me know how it goes!"

"Okay!" Gon promised, waving farewell and watching as Knuckle vaulted down the steps from Hatsu Hall and onto the campus sidewalks.

Gon went to the front desk and inquired about the room. They took his name down and found it on the waitlist. The student worker gestured across the lobby and said, "The RA will be down shortly. There's another student here—you can wait with them at the security door."

"Okay, thank you," Gon said, smiling wide.

Before he could make his way to the dorm's security door, caught sight of it opening, and startled at the familiar face emerging from it. He really shouldn't have been surprised—it was the athletics dorm, anyway.

Ikalgo stepped out, the strap of his backpack over one shoulder, and his hoodie unzipped over a marathon t-shirt. He let the door shut behind him before looking up and catching Gon's eyes.

Gon raised a shy hand in greeting, and Ikalgo smiled.

"Hey, ¿qué estás haciendo aquí?[]" he asked, crossing the lobby and the columns that flanked the hallway and the windows overlooking the street.

Gon passed his hand through his hair and said, "There's, uh, an opening. I tried getting into the dorms this semester but it didn't work out."

"Sí, es despiadado. Ahora que lo pienso, apenas me dieron un cuarto,[]" Ikalgo confessed, smiling sheepishly out at the windows. He glanced back at Gon, and they both laughed. "Hey, maybe I was the reason you got waitlisted."

"Maybe. But you're here on scholarship—they probably prioritize those students."

"Maybe. Unless they'd prefer students paying several grand a semester so they can pay for less shitty food," he said, and Gon laughed. "Nah, no está tan mal.[] You know what floor you'd be on?"