Sweet as Venom

Chapter 16

Dread was filling me. Wrapping around every blood vessel. Every muscle in my body was tense. I couldn't move and I couldn't stop thinking about it. Over and over. Was I or wasn't I? Leigh was pacing the small room as we waited. He hadn't said much since we left the clubhouse. I swear he was nearly as worked up as me.

"Gabriella."

My head snapped up as the doctor walked back into the room with a clipboard.

"Yep." My fingers fiddled with the cotton on my top. "That's me."

She looked up and gave me a reassuring smile. "I'd like to say congratulations."

My stomach dropped. Everything in the world stopped. I think even my own heartbeat stopped. I was staring blankly at the doctor as her mouth opened and closed and she kept talking. I don't know what she said so I found myself saying.

"What?"

She let out a frustrated sigh. "I said that you are about six weeks. It's still early days. But congratulations to you both." She forced a smile and looked between Leigh and I. "Now if you don't mind I have to go. But if you have any more questions, feel free to come back. Your first ultrasound is at twelve weeks. Excuse me."

I saw the judgement she gave Leigh after taking in his leather vest full of patches and basically standing for a big fuck you in your face. He was a biker and she clearly didn't think much of him because of it. She most likely thought I was some club whore who accidently got knocked up. And she was right.

She walked out and it was when the door closed I was reminded I wasn't by myself.

"Who was it?" Leigh words sliced through the air.

"Who was what?" I got my coat from the bed and got up.

"Who the fuck is the father." He said each other slowly.

"I'm not telling you."

"He is fucking dead. And what were you thinking?"

I wasn't thinking that was the whole point of this situation. "I guess I wasn't."

"Some high school bastard I bet." Leigh went for the door and held it open for me. "So what the fuck are you going to do?"

"I don't know. I guess I have to talk to someone."

"That someone also has a meeting with my fists."

"Leigh."

"Gabs." He grabbed my arm stopping me in the hallway of the hospital. "We will deal with this together."

Having a big brother always meant a lot to me. Leigh was always there when I needed to him and right now, just proved that.

"Thanks." Not thinking too much of it and needing it, I threw my arms around his neck and hugged him tight- standing on my tippy toes. "I love you Leigh."

His arms wrapped around me. "Yeah I love you too Gabs."

At least I could count on that. I had Leigh. Now did I tell Saxon? I guess it was his baby too.

--

Ok. So this was a big deal. But I could handle it. I could totally do this.

Saxon wasn't in his office. Wasn't at the bar. Wasn't in the club. So I guessed he was in his room. I remembered which room was his. Sadly. I grabbed the door handle, without thinking about it, I opened the door and was immediately shocked.

Saxon was naked on the bed with a girl I had never seen before on top of him. They were in the middle of having sex and here I was just walking in on them.

"Oh my god I should of knocked." I was horrified, shocked and hurt all at the same time. I slammed the door shut. But sadly not before Saxon's eyes locked onto mine and I swear I sure a flash of regret.

What did it matter if he was having sex with another woman. He told me straight out we were over. Not that we were every really a thing. I guess this meant I shouldn't tell him. I just had to get out of here. I was drowning in embarrassment.

I was about to storm off, when a hand wrapped around my arm.

"Gabriella is everything ok?"

Saxon's eyes were painted in worry and his jeans were just pulled up. If I didn't know better I would think he felt guilty. Pity I'm not dumb.

"Fine."

"That wasn't what it looked like."

"I don't care." I cut him off. There was a long deep ache in the middle of my chest. As if someone had just punched me there. He was hurting me. I shouldn't have let him get close. I should have known better. I was so stupid. Now I was paying the price.

"You still sick?" His eyes ran over me as if he was physically checking me for injury.

I pulled my arm from his grasp. Just him touching me was causing my skin to burn. "Yeah I am. Bye Saxon." What a waste of time you were.

I left him standing there in the corridor. Maybe I should have told him. But seeing he was fresh from a root and had declared he didn't want a relationship with me. I wasn't feeling bad about it.

Like a lot of things in life you have to do by yourself. And for me, this was going to be one of them.

--

Seeing as I never got around to go shopping yesterday for groceries and my cottage had nothing else in it. I was forced to join the boys for breakfast. I was planning on eating fast and leaving but that wasn't happening.

I was sitting in between Ice and Andy and I was ignoring the fact Saxon was watching me. Call me stubborn but I didn't want to look at him. Not even a glance.

Leigh came down the stairs, he looked to be in a hurry. That hurry stopped when he scanned the table and his eyes landed on me.

He walked around the table. "Move." He tapped Ice on the shoulder.

"I was here first." Ice fired back at him.

"I need to talk to my sister."

Ice grumbled about something but did move.

I stabbed my eggs while Leigh sat next to me. I had told him I didn't want to tell anyone. Because I hadn't decided on what I was going to do yet. This whole thing was a mess.

"You should be eating not playing with your food." Leigh's word held a lot of annoyance.

What was he worried about? That I wouldn't feed my baby? I rolled my eyes and drank my orange juice but even that tasted off to me.

"I mean it Gabs you should be eating."

"I know." I looked up at him, only to find Saxon's eyes still on me. I would bet he was listening to every word. Even though he was at the head of the table and there were other conversations going on. He focused on this one.

"How are you feeling?" Leigh asked out of concern.

"Fine."

"Liar."

"Fine. I feel like shit." I wasn't lying. My stomach was doing back flips. The tiny bit I ate was threatening to come up and there was still a massive Saxon hole in my heart.

"You talked to that someone you were meant to talk too?" Leigh was keeping his words low as he asked but I knew Saxon could still hear.

I looked up again, this time holding Saxon's eyes. "I realised they won't my time."

"So you're doing this by yourself?"

"I haven't decided yet? Ok!" I pushed the plate away from me. "Thanks for everything but I just need some time." I knew if there was one thing I didn't have it was time.

Leighs face twisted with concern and I think that was what made him reach out for me and grip my arm tightly. "I'm here for you ok? From smashing skulls to doctors appointments. You're not by yourself."

Tears swelled up in my eyes. Even though he was saying I wasn't. Even though I knew he would be there each step of the way. I was alone. I was in this by myself. And it was drowning me.

I hadn't had time to wipe away my tears when Ice piped up.

"What did you do to Gabs? Why is she crying?"

I wiped at my eyes furiously. "I'm fine."

"No you're not. You are crying." Andy put a hand on my shoulder. "What did you say Leigh?" His voice hardened.

Now all eyes were on me and I felt like the freak at the circus.

"I'm fine." I said even though more tears were falling. "I've got to go." I pushed myself away from the table.

"Come on Gabs tell us what's wrong?" Ice pledged with me as I walked away. I let the tears fall freely as soon as my back was turned. I really needed to make up my mind what I was doing with this baby. It was messing with my hormones.

I was walking across the lot when I heard him.

"Gabriella?"

I didn't stop.

"Gabriella!"

I didn't stop till his hand went down on my shoulder, forcing me to still.

"Don't touch me." I snapped pulling away from Saxon's hand.

He was standing over me, my eyes running over him in his tank top. With his arms, hands, fingers and neck tattooed. He was your typical bad boy and I had made a bad decision to every get involved with him.

"What's wrong?" He blew out seeming frustrated. "And if you say nothing, I already know your lying."

I stared back up at him. If I couldn't say nothing then what was the point of talking? I sure as hell wasn't going to tell him and I knew Leigh wasn't going to either. So as far as I knew, he would never find out.

He ran a hand through his hair, looking frustrated. "Come on sweetheart give me a chance here."

Sweetheart. My blood pressure went up. "Don't. Just don't ever call me that." I poked him in the chest. Just that slight touch was enough to send my body into overdrive. "You told me you didn't want me. You said we were over. For gods sake you are rooting another girl now! So don't pretend you care and if you do, if you do really care, then don't because I don't want anything from you. I don't want to talk to you. I don't want to look at you. As far as I'm concerned you are another bastard biker."

With those words said I flung around and stormed off to the cottage. I saw it even though I didn't want too. But I saw the hurt in his eyes. He did care. Pity he didn't care enough. Otherwise we wouldn't be where we are today. And that's him and me on the opposite side of the fence.