L I S A

He was haunting me. I kept recalling Edward’s pleading eyes as he silently asked me to not leave him hanging. Maybe I shouldn’t have asked him that question. I could only imagine how hurt he must’ve been after I left him there.

If one might think that I was over the fact of him kidnapping me and bringing in a crowd full of bloodthirsty monsters that may or may not want to drain me out then he was right.

Of course I still had my conscience yelling at me for letting Edward go so easily but the truth was I felt just worn out and I didn’t mean my body but my feelings were giving up on me.

I wanted to get rid of it all as something inside me was telling me to shut my humanity off like I had some sort of switch inside of me—if only it was that easy. I was mentally exhausted even though I was utterly charged on the outside. It felt weird like I didn’t have the energy to argue yet I had the guts and will to beat someone up.

What kind of hormones are these? I wondered.

“Jules stop it!” One of the girls said in the middle of giggles.

They were down there splashing water on each other in the midnight pool. The water was so clear you could see their waist below region inside the pool but that wasn’t what scared me. The thing to bother me was magic.

The water had bubbles getting evaporated in the environment even though there was no sunlight and the smoke emerging from the pool made me believed that there was a burning stove beneath the ground that was boiling up the water—wild imagination? Thought so.

Nevertheless the girls tried to tell me that the water was as cold as ice I stood my ground and told them that I’d accompany them by staying near the pool.

So here I was watching them as they played blissfully inside the water. I would once in a while gaze in their direction but then swiftly averted my sight because they weren’t wearing much except for a swimsuit that hid almost nothing. It gave me a weird opportunity to contrast my beauty with them.

They had been looking at my direction in pure envy as much as I could guess. So I’d been curious to know what I had better than those nymphs that had their pale and healthy skin kissed by the beaming moonlight. And so far I’d known that I was far too bony to match their healthy yet skinny personality, too dead to meet their still so breathing life that hid in their flushing cheeks. In fact the only thing I had better than them was my pale complexion. I was as pale as dead whereas they’re like mesmerizing breathing humans.

I looked down at my hands that showed so little skin left yet the power to triumph over at least one vampire out there. I couldn’t comprehend my situation, my needs even what my body desired at the moment. I was so confused.

A feeling was diffusing in me, a feeling of courage and bravery to win over everything I’d ever wanted and at once a feeling of slight mischief to do something naughty for once, to forget about the past and future and spend my today in a joy that’d last forever, to let go of pain and this grief. Something was telling me deep down that this misery wouldn’t yield me anything, especially playing this pain on rewind in my brain.

This peculiar feeling was telling me to let go of my principles for tonight and for once let the joy of transitory company blow into my heart so that never again would I have to think about my pain and loneliness.

And as much as compelling the idea was I knew at once it was my demon speaking, probably that one from my dreams who’d two bright, unsullied glowing rubies for his eyes. They were all I had in memory of him and they looked so lethal like they were laced with hatred and grief like my own except mine were pretty dull and lifeless.

Aurora’s words had caught me off guard earlier. I’d never told anyone about my nightmares let alone the demons that lurked in them. I wondered how she must’ve known, was it that apparent on my face?

“If you continued to think like that you may look like a thirty year old tomorrow.” Martha chimed from the pool. Everyone started laughing at her joke as I kept still putting up a forced smile on my lips.

I looked down at the grass and played silently as more thoughts made their way up to my brain. I didn’t hear a squelch or see someone walking towards me so it made me almost jump when a hand wrapped around my shoulders.

“It’s me.” She spoke suddenly before I could yelp. I eventually let go of the air I was holding in my lungs as her soft cold breaths brushed my neck and sent tingles down my whole body. Her touch was cold like winter which I loved more than anything.

I involuntarily relaxed too much in her embrace and a smile crept its way up to my face.

“Now that you’ve relaxed, why don’t you join us in the pool?” She chimed softly in my ears and her every note was like music to my ears. I moaned silently giving her a nod unwittingly.

I still had my eyes closed when it abruptly hit me. I had no swimsuit. I hastily got out of her clasp and budged in front of her so that we’re face to face. “I’ve no bathing suit” I complained.

“I believe your clothes are just fine. Just take off your top.” She suggested.

I didn’t know how to retort back and it seemed rather too arrogant to disapprove her kindness. So I grasped the hem of my top and slid it above my head until I was in nothing but my bra and shorts.

An abrupt wind of sadness passed through me as I realized how bony I must’ve looked and to add to my ugliness there was a wound geared up to put a show just down below my ribcage. That hunter did a nasty job with that knife.

I stared at my body looking disappointed—however that only lasted until my eyes fell on the spot where the wound should’ve been but it wasn’t. The skin was pale, no red marks and absolutely no stitches at all. What kind of a magic that herb contained?

“My wound.” I whispered in shock rubbing the place with my hand in complete daze.

“It healed.” Martha whispered in the same dazed tone matching my own.

I gazed at her waiting for an explanation but all I got was a proud impressed look. “You really are something, aren’t you?” She whispered slightly laughing.

My smile must not have lasted for even ten seconds before someone said, “Or maybe the herb just suited her blood better.” I didn’t bother looking at the source and gestured Martha to join me in the pool.

Still like a scared cat I put just one foot in the water and took it out instantly after my thumb felt numb from the cold. They giggled at my act which I didn’t mind at all and dipped my foot again but my whole ankle this time and gathered courage to dip my whole waist under water but before I could I felt suddenly my lungs filling up with water and my drenched hair sticking to my scalp.

It took literally just a minute. One minute I had water up to my knees and the other minute my whole body was drowning in the cold water.

I poked my head up to gasp for air and as my body meet with the breeze outside I inadvertently started to shudder. My arms wrapped themselves around my body as I quivered in both shock and cold. I wanted to scream but the water took away my voice and my lips quivered greatly. I endeavored to speak but ended up inhaling from my mouth instead.

I heard some arguments but I was too freezing to even care. I’d always liked cold water but now it was like a torture inflicted upon me. Someone brought me closer to their arms as my teeth grinded together. I felt from the touch that it must’ve been Julie or Martha also because no one else there gave a damn about me and my current condition was a proof of that.

Julie lifted me almost effortlessly up onto the ground as I was being enveloped into a warm shawl. My feet remained under water as I brought the shawl up to my face and covered everything I could. The shuddering stopped to an extent and I was able to speak again. Meanwhile Julie stayed close to my feet under the water and Martha sat beside me on the ground.

“I’m sorry.” Was the first thing I said after recovering from the jolt.

As expected they looked at me really baffled—not because I was still stuttering but because they couldn’t comprehend why I would apologize like that out of nowhere.

“I shouldn’t have come here. I’m just ruining the mood.” I said slowly shaking my head.

“The only thing you’re doing is making us feel less by saying that.” Julie climbed on my other side such that her head was poking out of the water up to my chest as she looked me deep into the eye with a serious look. I’d never seen her so serious before.

I just lazily smiled at being retorted.

“You should go join them. I’ll be fine from here.” I asked Martha as I freed my fingers from her clutch. She nodded in response and dipped her whole skin into the pool but made sure she was still in my reach.

I hugged the shawl more closely and looked at them playing with each other. I was glad that they’re back to normal. I didn’t really know why it was so hard for me to be a part of the crowd without being the centre of attention. I cursed myself silently in my mind for being the way I was—an attention seeker.

I felt a light squeeze on my thigh and I looked at Martha who was staring up at me with a seeking look. I couldn’t understand her intention.

“So what do you think?” She asked.

“About what?” I gave her a questioning look.

“About Edward. What is it about him that makes you love him?” She asked.

I just gazed at her, unsure what and how to answer that so I just decided to shy away. They got the gesture perfectly and a long series of giggles followed after that, mine included. Although I’d hate to tell them my feelings about Edward, I’d love to hear about him from them.

“What his mother’s like?” I asked out of the blue.

They seemed surprised by my question but then one of them spoke, “She’s the gentlest lady you’ll ever meet in your life.”

“Is it just his mother and him?” I asked.

“No he’d a sis—” Martha gave the girl a glare who had spoken.

I was confused. Why would she do such a thing?

“He has a sister?” I asked but none of them made a sound.

The only voice I could hear was the gradual splash of water with their bodies and the song of crickets flying far away from us. The moonlight seemed to be hidden behind the veils of the dark clouds as I waited patiently for a reply. Was this topic so delicate that they didn’t want to discuss about it? Why were they afraid to speak of his sister?

“Martha?” I shook her gently to wake her from the trance she was in. She gazed at me with pleading eyes as if not wanting to discuss this with me but I was just as stubborn. I needed to know. She knew well enough if she didn’t tell me I might ask from Edward about it so she began, letting go of a huge sigh and I paid her my undivided attention.

“Stacy was . . .”