E D W A R D

I followed Lisa's troubled gaze to know where it ended and not surprisingly it was directing towards him.

I gawked as Christophe stood at the threshold away from my clasp―good for him otherwise he would've been on the ground right now for making her passed out on such a short notice.

But he didn't do anything else, except he looked more troubled than her. Did they know each other? What could possibly be the reason strong enough for her to pass out like that just after perceiving an unfamiliar face?

What was I missing? I wasn't given any report regarding her history with a vampire. They didn't leave out a portion of her life too, right? And when had Christophe spent a day among humans apart from hunting? He had a long list of questions to sort out for my convenience.

He paced slowly inside the room with light and small steps and I could already hear her breaths trembling from fear and anxiousness.

Her grip on my wrist tightened to an extent that made me quietly growl. The fear was vivid in her eyes and yet troubled as if she didn't understand something or hadn't been able to recall a piece of her past.

Damn I wished I could read her mind right now!

She silently thrust her arms on her chest, one above the other and stared at him with expectations as if she was waiting and waiting for something. Meanwhile Christophe wasn't any less dazed than I was, in fact considering his usual careless self, it was a lot to process.

She was getting more scared and obvious about something with the passing second and somehow I felt it would all go away if he did. So I gripped at his shoulders and hurled them outside along with his pretty face―now a troubled one.

"Ed!" He growled as soon as I let him go.

We're face to face with Malcolm and Jacob who had already the question bank prepared for us. They're just as puzzled as me, Christophe or Lisa. Apparently passing out wasn't a daily event we had here and especially so not after a first encounter.

"What's going on?" Malcolm questioned clearly trying to take over the tension.

Christophe gave him a quick glance and then stared at me as if he was trying to come up with something to blame me for all of this.

"Why is she here Edward?" He asked and I suspected somewhat a quiver of wariness in his tone.

"I . . . she's my bride-to-be soon." He scoffed at my answer and gazed at me in disbelief before entirely bursting out.

"Don't lie to me! I know she's something to do with Mason. Just for once Ed, tell me why she's here!" His words took me by surprise.

"How do you know about Mason and her?" Malcolm interrupted.

Jacob and Christophe shot him an unbelievable glare, clearly struck by his words and the fact how much he knew.

If I had to stay in the middle of a vampire colony while carrying out a mission for the person they detested the most, I needed an alibi and a powerful one. I had to tell anyone of them and Malcolm was my all time best option.

~ ~ ~

"I have to tell you this." I urged as he moved stealthily across the bristly bushes, trying to avoid the heat lurking in the air. I'd almost felt tired of following further and my feet came to a halt on our way to the Kismet.

"Look!" He stopped at hearing my voice. Finally his attention turned to me along with his face.

"You have to know what you're bringing home with you." He waited patiently while knitting his brows together. Filling my lungs with sufficient breaths I finally gained the words I was meant to say,

"I'm only helping Mason because he has . . . he has my mother and if I don't hand her over to him then-"

"Why haven't you already?" His face turned red and impatient was evident in his words.

It wasn't a question but rather a reprimand. He'd considered my mother as his and surely if he was in my place he would've handed Lisa over without a doubt or hesitant long ago. And now I was stuck with this question.

"It just didn't feel right." I said. I almost cringed at the realization of how stupid I'd sounded.

"It's mother we're talking about here! There's nothing wrong in protecting the people we love." He sighed burying his face in his palms.

"I know but you've been to the palace, you know humans are nothing but a source of food or pleasure." He glared at me from under his lashes, "Thinking about how they'd treat her, I just-"

"Do you love her?" I blinked several times at the ridiculous question. "Do you love her?" He repeated again, putting emphasis on each and every word, spelling them ever so carefully as if he was explaining it to a six year old.

"Of course not!" I denied with a grimace.

"Good. The moment she's back to life you're leaving for the castle." He turned back and started to walk again, "And don't mention a word to anyone." He demanded.

~ ~ ~

"You knew about it!" Christophe yelled almost distracting every other vampire out there and hauling me back from my momentary trance.

We're alone in the bushes but still this matter had to be stayed hidden and we shushed him to keep his voice low but to no success.

"Why should I keep my voice low? They deserve to know what you've brought upon them, all of us!"

At this point I was infuriated enough to have Christophe knelt on the ground with one of my arms strangling him and the other depriving him from speaking further.

"There's no point of blowing a bullhorn now!" I was hushed myself but enough to make my voice demanding.

Christophe gave in soon slapping my arms as I let him breathe.

"How do you know her Christophe?" Malcolm questioned again with much gravity in his voice this time that intimidated us all. Christophe coughed constantly before he began to speak.

"Five years ago, Mason asked me and some of the vampires to hunt on the outskirts of the town. He made clear about the family we're to kill and said he wanted nothing to do with them and let us have our ways but he did say something in particular about a girl."

"Lisa told me her family was killed in a vampire attack when she was eleven." Their gazes reflected from Christophe towards my direction.

After a while of hesitation Mal went forward and asked him to continue the story, precisely about what Mason had said particularly about the girl.

"He asked me to kill her and under no circumstances let her live." Christophe's eyes showed guilt and shame as he paused to exhale his discomfort out.

"You let her live?" Mal finished. Since Lisa was alive that was the perfect explanation and ending of his story, wasn't it?

"I killed her." He said after a long while taking us all by surprise.

It seemed as if he was having difficulty reminiscing about the past. I was still in physically contact with him but still what he did astonished me. A flash of memory shone in my head. I knew exactly where he was going with this!

~ ~ ~

A girl was hidden behind the windows of car and that was the only thing that kept her safe.

The night was so dark and empty like all the lights had been engulfed by the shadows and no illumination or even a spark was left hanging around. My fists, clothes and mouth was laced with blood I'd just shed but not my own, her parent's.

I dawdled towards the car keeping in mind what I'd been told to do even if every muscle in my body restrained me from making another move.

I couldn't kill an eleven year old! But I'd given my word to Mason that I would and if I didn't do as I was asked, I would probably end up like one of those filthy slaves.

I didn't deserve that life! At no cost! So I motioned getting freed of the so-called humanity I'd held for so long. There was no other way.

She was a blonde, pale and too young to be just eleven. Her aroma was something I'd never smelt before and it aroused me and provoked the hunger I was trying to suppress.

I pulled the door carefully trying not to scare her anymore and took her out in my arms. She wasn't trembling but her heart was racing higher with the passing second. Her face was pale at the same time and I knew she was panicking; her cheeks had lost the human blush and the glow of an early blooming life.

I just wanted to get over with it as quick as it was possible. My thoughts had abandoned me the moment her scent flared my nostrils and filled the sour empty spaces in my breaths with honey-coated sweetness.

I pressed the carotid artery on her neck with my thumb gently stroking it to calm her down. But when my attempts failed I decided the quickest way was to kill her.

I leaned in the gap where her neck met her shoulder and chewed at the skin before my fangs gnawed at it by instincts.

The blood flowed out directly into my mouth all the while as she was in my clutch. I didn't see but surely not a drop would've gone in vain.

I didn't remember if I'd liked her, if I'd really enjoyed her and the whole scene. My mind was bursting with happiness all the while my heart ached in anguish.

I stopped once there was no drop left, it took me about a minute or so to drain her out but I finally did and ever so slightly I perched her slight, pale, drained of life body inside the car seat where she was before and locked the door.

It was the day I grasped we're no humans, we're no animals, we're no monsters, we're something that didn't care, didn't love, didn't feel just hungered for one precise thing and would do anything to get it and it was the day I felt what self-loathing really meant and also only that night I comprehended my place before Mason, in his mansion.

That night I decided to leave the palace.

~ ~ ~

My eyes shot opened from the realization. Getting into a vampire's mind wasn't a game let alone living the memory as a soul in his body.

As I lived through the whole incident of that night I didn't just see but felt every one of his emotions and there were many. I could've gone through my entire life without knowing about it!

Mal and Jacob stared at me looking for answers but what should I say? There was no way or point of repeating and expressing such a horrible experience with your words. No wonder he just thought it easier to show rather than tell.

Christophe didn't look up and gazed down at his feet; he was still on his knees and troubled.

He was really sorry for what he had to do although nothing made me pity on him. He considered himself over a child, he chose to be the way he was, I shouldn't feel bad because he made a deliberate choice to sabotage his soul.

"You did kill her." That was all I could say before my eyes drifted towards her direction. She, who just listened to each and every one of the word we'd conversed.

If the devil is real, may he help us, for we're no longer the children of God, we are the habitants of His Hell! I begged silently.