L I S A

I looked for answers but his eyes betrayed me, might just like him. I asked repeatedly where we were but he kept muttering something to himself.

He was pained and at the moment I could see right through him but not enough to figure out his intentions.

I knew this would happen, something was bad but I didn't expect it this soon.

As his gaze found mine, it pierced slowly into my sight. I could spot the hurt but was it because of me? What did I do?

I didn't even give myself a chance to feel guilty, I was already pained enough.

The vibrations in the water reached closer to our boat.

A zigzag course was forming in the lake as we lowered our stare. I felt my heart skipping a beat and then Jenna came over my shoulder.

Edward's jaw clenched together and with a sudden jerk his cold palm rested on my knuckle, grasping it in a firmed clutch.

He swallowed a deep breath.

The tiny drops were flickering out above like that of a flame and then the sight was clear.

About fifties of fishes were circling round our boat as we approached to the nearest land.

It was at once a peculiar and stunning sight.

Edward sighed out of relief as if a burden was lifted off his shoulders.

He perceived me again through his dark eyes that seemed to lose in the moment.

I didn't realize it myself before he pulled away his hand and I blushed lightly beneath my lashes. Why did he make me feel like that?

I hoped it was as easy to find an answer in this world as to come up with a question.

"That's unusual." Aman admitted.

He docked the boat at the edge of the land. He led out a supportive hand as I perched my feet on the thin pathway and approached the ground leisurely.

I didn't wait for them to follow and continued to wander about myself.

I needed to clear my head and get some fresh air that wasn't laced with his delicious scent-oh! I'd turned into a girl that was always so needy. What had he done to me? He'd ruined me!

I hated it, this feeling of knowingness, unaware and yet somewhat aware of the person standing in front of me.

I kept walking and walking all the while complaining inside my head, not giving a second thought to my surroundings.

All the beauty somehow got replaced with the displeasing vibes released from the chaos of my mind.

I wished the lysosomes in the cells inside my brain would add an extra curricular of eating up the thoughts that made me weary as well to their routine.

That would save me a lot of trouble and tiredness that I recently had been enduring.

He was a liar, murderer, betrayer, backstabber and a monster. I knew about his darkest secret but that didn't propel me away from him nor sent shivers down my spine.

Yes, I was shocked as if such things could exist but I never disgusted him. Not even while holding that blood bag, it was clear as a day the image it was referring to and surely Edward didn't deny it in any way.

Nevertheless he didn't agree with me either. I saw his face when Aman was telling us about vampires and boy did he look furious!

It must be hard being the captivator of the crowd that hated him so much and at once were awed by his beauty and inhuman capabilities.

Not to mention the nauseating gossips.

But even then I couldn't disgust him. It was like I had to like him. My mind was kept forcing the ideas of an eager woman in my thoughts.

I wanted to fight the intrusion but the ideas were a huge amount to deal with and I was alone. My mind was not my own anymore, it was worshipping the ground he walked on.

I couldn't love him. I wasn't admitting I liked him. Disgust was an immense term to comprise my feelings towards him. And I didn't exactly . . . hate him.

I tried to resolve this misunderstanding between hate and disgust.

To me there was a slight dissimilarity.

You hate someone when you don't like their attitude or behavior that's likely to be judged as rude by your perspective.

And you disgust someone when you're propelled away by their habitat and nature. In disgust you don't want to see their face and their mere appearance is likely to make you sick.

And I wasn't sure if I had entirely hated him or it was just an excuse to let myself believe that I wasn't . . . like him.

Not in that way of course but emotionally and psychologically we had way more in common than I let myself believe.

I didn't want to be compared with him. True I was no angel but I wasn't the Devil's queen as well.

If only it was as easy to shun these feelings as it was to hope for something-nonetheless, hope and disappointment were the two sides of the same coin.

And I'd been enough disappointed in my life to last for a long time. That was why I needed to abandon these foolish thoughts about him.

My life was no fantasy and Edward was no knight in shining armor except for a shadow lurking in dark, manipulating souls to end up in hell and burn with him till eternity.

He and I could never be together. What I felt for him was some stupid teenage hormones and what he desired of me was my blood or most possibly his man instincts taking over him.

There was nothing to dispute about, nothing to change.

I had to let him go.

The last thing I wanted was getting my feelings smashed by the fists of a mythical creature who assigned to me for . . . what again? Oh right! As his human assignment.

For some foolish parts of my brain, I hadn't realized my feet were still moving and never came to a halt. I never heard a voice calling my name or someone reaching out for me.

It was a blank space that I was surrounded by. The beauty seemed to be fading away into dust and pebbles, the trees stood shriveled up and abandoned by the colorful wings that had once resided in their branches.

My memories failed to recall how and why I came to that place. I wasn't in my right mind of course.

But that wasn't all.

The zigzag lines of tall bushes almost covering about Edward's height stilled in front of me. The shamrock green covered the entire floor and the shaped trees formed a maze.

A maze! And I was trapped with a wide and dense wood behind me.

I was going to get lost either way if not fortunately swooned before.

The first thought that knocked at the door of my mind was that where was Edward and why didn't he follow me.

I swiftly shook it away as it had entered. With no way out I began my journey, leaving behind a trace of faith for him to follow.

Would he come?

* * *

How long had it been? Perhaps an hour.

Okay so an hour on my clumsy feet begging me stop led me to no end. No wonder I always sucked at solving puzzles!

Though I never gave up, my courage and obstinate personality never did get me anywhere.

The sun was covering the near sky with light purple and pinkish glow as it was preparing to hide behind the mountains like a scared child behind the figure of his mother.

Numerous throngs of birds flew towards their nests as soon as the first touch of darkness could envelope the ground.

The sunset was soon to come and then the night sky-probably not a safe hour to roam.

I considered waiting at one place before going any deeper but I couldn't count on waiting for someone who might never come.

"Ah!" I growled falling onward the grass.

My back ached as if one had elbowed me and my face masked in soil and festooned by half-lived leaves torn from the trees.

I elevated myself up on my arms and then my feet. The surrounding was clear and abandoned just like before, no recent marks of a lurking soul.

I believed I must have stepped onto something but the sore on my back conveyed anything but that.

"Who's there?" I screamed.

My mind was going dizzy at the circumstance and the cold was closely embracing me.

I had not any sweater to wrap my bared arms or a scarf to safeguard my neck.

No! Why I thought the need to do that? What was I expecting this stranger to be?

Just then someone or rather something passed by me compelling the pebbles on ground to flew up above to keep the leaves in company and the trees nearby to flow with a rapid strength.

Once, twice and thrice I felt the same wave with the weird scent longing in it.

Until I finally got annoyed at whoever who was playing this idiotic game.

"Show yourself coward!" I exclaimed.

Thrusting my head from side to side in every few seconds almost broke my neck and my head started spinning.

Another wave came but this one thrust half of my body and I fell with my back on the ground.

By instincts my back arched unable to adjust with the sudden collision and a grimace took control over my loose features.

I hit my head violently along with my back, completely drowned of any energy, and my current weakness aided in making me feel sick in my stomach.

The urge to throw up was too much to take no notice of and before I was able to get on my feet back again, I was being dragged.

He, who played with me, dragged me on the ground along a straight line.

My head throbbed in pain before I realized I was being hauled to somewhere I couldn't see.

I felt numb in almost every part of my body except my back that was burning because of the skate.

And with all the pain I probably wouldn't have much cared to know where my future laid.

I cried so much that my throat felt sore. I constantly pulled at his tough arm clutched at my nape but with no success or relief.

A great deal of my hair was trapped amidst of his clutch and that was the worst pain of all that outran even the bruises on my back and there must've been a lot.

I finally felt relief when my head was no longer attempting to get detached from my torso. He yanked at my arm and before I knew I was falling to no end.

There was no light, just an open embrace of overlapping stages of dimness. With each stage, the murkiness only grew to a level to cause impossible blindness.

I was shoved down into a deep pit in my half-swooned mind.

I crumpled down into a ball and rested with my back on the ground again.

My eyes were filled with water drops, my cheeks were red with pain and my lips forced to stay shut in order to stifle the groaning.

I slapped my palm on the floor to overcome the anger I was feeling. The rage and frustration; I'd never been so angered in my entire life.

The foul smelling filled my senses; the dimness of the pit clouded my vision.

My mind became indistinct at the very sight of dust and bricks in front of my eyes.

I lost hope and I just wanted to give up on myself, sleeping tight till the sunbeams could wake me again, feeling the softness of cold gales brushing on my smooth skin, and at once I wanted to be covered in a firmed warm hug, his hug.

Only he could make me feel warm and cold altogether.