I was told I was bipolar.

My therapist said it was an unusual case, though. According to what he explained, bipolar individuals experience times of depression and times of what's so-called "mania". Manic episodes are when the person goes wild. Following his/her lusts recklessly. Like racing or running away or doing something too crazy to be done when you're in your right mind. These manic episodes are usually forgotten once the patient returns to his/her depressed state. Bipolarity comes with threats of suicide, apparently. Suicidal incidents, however, mostly occur in the depression episodes not the manic. The manic episodes are when you get high and happy. When you run wild. Not cut yourself or hurt other... unless I, somehow, subconsciously wanted doing that.

So my case was of an interest. To my therapist at least. He said he can help. And that one day I will become normal. I won't forget anymore. He gave me pills too. Too many pills. Of names I can't pronounce. I bet Sil can pronounce them effortlessly. The perks of being a college girl, I guess.

I think about Sil a lot. I think about what she would say when she knows about my illness. Can I just go up to her and tell her I am crazy? Tell her that I have holes in my screwed up brain? Tell her that I cut my self and wear long sleeves to cover up? Or tell her I killed Leo? Can I go tell her I am a murderer?

I can't.

I never told anyone about Leo. Not Silver. Not Jeff. Not Justin. Not even my therapist.

Justin would hate me. He would definitely leave me. He would instantly run away and call me crazy. Why would he want to be with a crazy murderer anyways?