"Tell me about Hazel?" doctor Gabrielle said, leaning back in his chair. His comfy, expensive chair. I should buy one myself one day.

"She's real." That's all I could come up with. Seriously? Real? No wonder they are questioning my mental health.

"Okay. I know you think she's real. And I, myself, have no strict evidence to deny her existence. But until her existence is concretely proved, please, don't insist on your beliefs blindly."

"So you are telling me that I should pretend my fiancée isn't real because you guys haven't seen her! Okay, then wait till I find her so you can say HI!" I am losing it.

"Mr. Wills. We're here to talk rationally. I don't find your anger reasonable. Please, calm down and let's start over. You're here to talk your mind out. I believe that will help in so many ways whether Hazel exists or is merely a work of your imagination."

Again he's hinting that I made her up. There are so many people out of their minds today.

"Fine. What do you want to discuss?"

"Again. Tell me about Hazel."

I sighed.

"She's beautiful. Gorgeous. Dark, long hair. Wide, hazel eyes. Fair skin. Soft. Very soft skin. She enjoys cheese. Cheddar. She loves Thailand. Daisies. Green. Books. And the smell of old books delight her. She's funny. Can be rude but, for some reason, I am never offended. She's gentle. Her touch and everything. Very neat. It's obsessive," I laugh at the thought, "but I love her obsession. Her flaws are too charming that you admire them as perks." I stop. Because I can't carry on. Just as I want all of our memories of stay tatted in my head, I can't withstand the thorns of longing. The stab of guilt. The shame. The fear. And the tears swell.

"Go on."

I try summoning the words but they're too heavy for my tongue to bear.

"Are you okay?"

I nod, sending the tears towards my chin.

He seemed to process whatever thoughts he got.

"How did you meet?"

I took a deep breath and started narrating the whole thing, hoping that maybe details would make me more plausible.

******************

I walk out of the hospital clueless. Is that even possible? To let go of Hazel? To tell my head it wasn't real? To tell my heart to stop loving a ghost? Someone who only exists within me. How can I believe that she was never there when I know she was? I know. I swear I know. She's real. Too real for them to understand.

I climb into a taxi. So I am supposed to be heading home. Right? And I am doing it, am I not?

No. I am not. One more place to visit before I let defeat in.

Her workplace.