Quincy laughed as he laid back with Zyarie on his chest. "She was stuck huh?"

I chuckled and shook my head as I wrapped up Zion's dirty diaper. "Yup, not gonna lie I felt badass after I left."

He chuckled and shook his head sitting up. "You were right though, she is a little bit selfish and immature but-"

"She was right too, I know."

He nodded. "Just making sure you know," he cooed down at Zyarie. "That's exactly why your parents are perfect for each other," he started in a baby voice. "Even though their very different they have certain similarities and that's enough to make them hate to love each other."

I rolled my eyes. "I don't hate to love her."

He looked up at me. "Right let me rephrase that," he hummed. "Those similarities are the exact reason why you two are a match made in heaven since you both have stuff you hate about each other that you can work on together."

"Don't like."

"Right, when it comes to you hate and Jasmine can't be in the same sentence."

I chuckled. "I'm assuming you're still rooting for us."

He nodded. "That's exactly why I can't wait to see how this long-ass mess of a story concludes. It better end with you and Jasmine, I think I deserve that."

I frowned legit mad at him. "Dude stop fucking doing that, if our lives were a book you'd be breaking the shit out of the fourth wall."

He nodded. "Yeah but, think about it. You know when people say, we might be living in a simulation right? You never say random shit like, I know this is a simulation so can you put in a cheat code and give me some money? Like just say it? To no one in general just out loud. Like talking to yourself but, you know you're not talking to yourself."

I stopped for a second and then shook my head even though I've one hundred percent said what he just said. "Wha- My guy, no."

He smacked his lips. "Well I do, just in case this is an actual book I want the author to know who I'm rooting for."

The doorbell rang and Quincy's eyes widened. "If that's Jasmine then this is definitely a book."

I rolled my eyes and headed downstairs. Pulling the door open my eyes widened as I spotted Jasmine. Looking up at the sky I frowned.

Bro, I'd be shitty if my whole life was a fucking book.

Jasmine looked up too and frowned. "What?"

I looked back down at her. "U-Um w-why are you h-here?"

She looked at me and frowned. "To get my babies?"

My eyes widened. "Oh, shi- rightttt my bad."

I stepped to the side and Jasmine shook her head walking into the house. I closed the door and then turned around jumping as I see Jasmine still standing there.

"What?" I asked.

She sighed. "I'm also here to apologize, I'm sorry about last night, seriously Y/n. I'm not going to say I didn't mean a lot of the shit I said but I am sorry for how I said it. I'm also sorry for not realizing that I'm a shitty person too so, thank you for helping me see that."

I chuckled. "You write that out?"

She rolled her eyes. "Shut up."

I smiled softly down at her. "So you didn't go on the date?"

She shook her head. "No I did, I know I'm not leading him on um...I actually missed him."

Of course, my heart ached but...its cool, she deserves to be with someone she believes won't hurt her...again.

"That's all you want then right? To be happy with someone you can trust?"

"Y/n-"

"No no, I don't mean it in a shady way I'm serious, that argument kind of resonated with me so, that's all you want right?"

She nodded. "Yeah I guess, I know you could make me happy but...it's not that I don't trust you but I don't trust you, you know?"

I chuckled softly and nodded. "Yeah yeah, I understand um," I shrugged. "Well, if you think he can make you happy then great. I want- you deserve to be happy, with or without me. It's your life and what I want shouldn't stop you from doing anything," I smiled. "Handle your grown woman business."

She chuckled and held her arms out. "Come here."

I slowly walked towards her and wrapped my arms around her neck as she wrapped hers around my waist.

"I love you, Dino." She whispered.

I nodded and kissed the top of her head. "I love you too Jazzy."

My head snapped up as I heard a gasp. Quincy stood there with both twins in his arms as he tilted his head.

"Bitch Issa book."

-

I groaned as Travis continued to laugh. I threw my tie down and glared at him.

"Yo, don't laugh you can't tie one either."

"I actually can."

I rolled my eyes. "Lair."

I'm getting ready for my date with Vanessa and I can't get this fucking tie on. For some reason, I was actually pretty nervous, maybe because this is the date that confirms if I really want to be with her or not...I guess I just hope some shit doesn't go wrong.

Well, there's already a fail, fuck this tie.

I snapped out of my thoughts as I felt hands adjust my collar. Jasmine rolled her eyes. "A ten-year-old can tie a tie but you can't."

I pushed her head. "Shut up."

She started to tie the tie and I looked over my shoulder at Quincy who was busy texting.

I think he forgave Jimmie or something...I don't know gays are weird.

Looking back at Jasmine I smiled as she finished the tie. "Thank you."

She nodded and dropped her hands.

"Well, thank you for the tie but, also for helping me get ready."

She shook her head. "Don't worry about it."

I nodded and cleared my throat looking in the mirror. "Quincy, am I looking-"

"HA!"

I smacked my lips and walked over to my babies who laid on my bed.

I bent down and pouted. "Do I look good guys?"

Zyarie smiled and Zion just blinked before...running his eyes down my body...checking me out? Then he looked over at Zyarie. He looked back at me and shut his eyes.

Jasmine burst into laughter and I backed away actually hurt.

"He just called you ugly in the worst way." She laughed grabbing her stomach.

I chuckled and pushed her. "Shut up."

Quincy laughed too. "Zion basically said, you're going on a date with someone who isn't my mom so you ugly."

Both Jasmine and I glared at him causing him to jump back.

I shook my head and kissed Zyarie's cheek. "Thank you, baby," I looked at Zion and stuck my tongue out causing him to smile. "Remember that when you wear your first suit and everyone calls you handsome. Imma ruin your self-esteem."

"No you won't," Travis cut in. "It's 7 by the way."

I nodded and stood up straight. "Ight well, I'll be going now."

Jasmine hummed and shot up. "Oh take this." She grabbed a plastic bag off the ground and handed it to me.

Ummm.

"But why though?"

She rolled her eyes. "Don't question me."

I scoffed. "You put a bomb in here didn't you."

Quincy gasped and looked up from his phone. "She totally did, she wants to kill you so I'm forced to help her raise these kids. It's my karma for cheating on her."

I looked back at him with wide eyes before shaking the bag slightly.

She slapped my arm and chuckled. "Stoppp."

I smiled down at her. "I have to be cautious."

"Get out-" Jasmine slowly looked at Quincy. "Karma? Bitch, didn't you already get cheated on? That's your karma."

I looked down at Travis who nodded at me and stood following out the room.

"And you missed out on going on tour with Chris Brown so whose really shitty."

My eyes widened. "Oop."

Travis nodded. "I'll let you know who wins."

-

Vanessa and I pulled up to this fancy-ass restaurant. She groaned noticing all the paparazzi shooting pictures of the car.

"Ohhh so you famous famous."

I chuckled looking over at her. I would probably be annoyed by the paparazzi but, I can't really focus on anything but her at this moment.

She was gorgeous in that red silk dress.

She looked at me and raised a brow. "Ready?"

I shook myself out of it and nodded. "Definitely, I'll get your door."

I went to climb out of the car but stopped as my phone pinged.

I looked down at it noticing a text from Jasmine.

🙄🖕🏽💜

🦖💜

She didn't reply and I just frowned.

She's fucking weird.

I climbed out of the car and rushed over to Vanessa's side as the flashing lights and voices surrounded me. I opened Vanessa's door and grabbed her hand.

Handing the keys to the valet, we rushed inside and I sighed once the doors closed behind us drowning out the sound.

Classical music was playing and I looked down at Vanessa who looked up at me and raised a brow.

I chuckled as we walked up to the hostess. "Hi, reservation for Y/n Y/ln."

The hostess looked down at the book before nodding. "Right this way."

I threw my arm over Vanessa's shoulder as we followed her to our table. I pulled out Vanessa's chair before sitting across from her.

"The waitress will be right with you but, in the meantime can I offer you some of our wine and assorted, aged cheese? We have a wide variety of aged wine from Château d'Yquem to Screaming Eagle Cabernet Sauvignon. Our cheese also has a wide variety we have cheese from Port Salut to Mimolette."

I frowned looking at Vanessa who was also frowning.

The fuck did she just say?

"Ummmm...can we just get a bottle of Red...Wine?"

She nodded and smiled. "I'll have that right over."

She walked off and Vanessa looked at me with wide eyes. "Wow."

I chuckled. "You know I was trying to be an adult and bring you to a fancy restaurant but, I think I should convert back to old Y/n."

She chuckled and nodded. "What does old Y/n have planned?"

I hummed just as I saw another woman walking up to with a bottle of wine. "Hi, I'll be your waitress today. Here's your wine."

She sat the bottle down and I smiled at her. "Thank you."

She smiled and nodded. "Of course, here are some menus and I'll be back in a bit to get your orders."

She went to leave but I frowned. "Hey excuse me."

She turned around. "Yes, ma'am?"

"Why don't you have a name tag?"

She shrugged. "That's not how we operate here, we don't give out our names."

"Why not?"

"Just policy."

I hummed. "Well, can I have your name?"

She nodded slowly. "I'm Tara."

I smiled and nodded. "Nice to meet you Tara, thank you."

She looked taken aback and glanced at Vanessa before smiling brightly and nodding. "Y-Your welcome."

She quickly walked away and I chuckled looking over at Vanessa who was smiling softly at me.

"So, wanna know what I have planned?"

Vanessa blinked rapidly and cleared her throat before nodding. "Obviously."

"Well, we're going to order food to go and then we'll go to a secluded spot to eat and watch the sunset."

"In like...the woods?"

I nodded.

She looked down and I grimaced. "Damn um- actually...how about you order for us and I'll be right back."

"Wait, what do you want?"

I shrugged. "I trust you."

Standing up I smiled to myself.

Jazzy, you don't know me that well do you?

Walking away from the table I went to the front door and smiled at the valet guy.

He nodded and handed me a key.

I was surprised to see that it was actually mine. "Wow cool."

The man smiled softly as I looked out the door and sighed preparing for the paparazzi. Pushing the door open I rushed out, mentally thanking God for the rope keeping them away.

Going to the parking lot I spotted my car and unlocked the door before looking into the backseat for the bag. I grabbed it and opened it.

Smiling softly as I shook my head seeing a pair of joggers and a hoodie.

"Okay Jazzy."

Grabbing the bag I made my way back into the restaurant and back to Vanessa.

"You order?"

She nodded as she grabbed the bag I handed to her. "This is?"

"Clothes, go get changed."

She looked in the bag and hummed as she stood. "You came prepared."

I chuckled and hummed as she walked away. "Something like that."

I watched her walk into the bathroom before I decided to shoot Jasmine a quick message.

🦖💜

🙄🖕🏽💜

I sighed softly and pocketed my phone just as Vanessa walked out of the bathroom in my clothes.

Why'd she say that? I shouldn't have to try too hard- not at all, to keep Jasmine out of my- wow does this count as thinking about her?

Dammit.

-

We sat in the trunk, our stomachs full, as we enjoyed the view. Vanessa's head rested on my shoulder as I held her hand.

"Question," she looked up at me. "Are you happy now?"

I frowned slightly as I continued to stare out at the horizon. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, I know you were really sad for a while and I wanted to know if you finally found your happiness."

I chuckled. "Are you happy?" I looked over at her and raised a brow at her sad features before humming. "You always do this."

She frowned meeting my eyes. "What?"

"You always ask a question that leads to both of us crying."

She chuckled. "Well excuse me for feeling like my feelings and thoughts are safe with you."

I smiled softly and nodded. "I finally found my happiness when my kids were born, even though there's still a slight sadness sometimes it's cool because everyone gets sad occasionally."

"Why do you still get sad?"

"Because my mother isn't here, because I know Travis has nightmares about that night and I can't do anything, shit because I still have nightmares, I know my so-called father is out roaming around freely which makes me mad but also sad...those are really the main things."

She hummed looking back out at the sky.

"You didn't answer my question."

She shrugged. "I don't have a reason not to be happy but...I don't maybe I'm just depressed. There's constantly this little ache all over my body...it's like I'm missing something but I don't know what it is. Because I don't know what it is I find myself sad often."

I sighed. "Is it only making you sad or..."

She gulped and looked up at me biting her lip. "You've been suicidal right?"

"Plenty of times."

She cleared her throat. "Well, hypothetically say I was...what's some advice you'd give me."

I stared at her as I realized how good she is at putting up a facade. Kind of makes me wonder how many other people I care about a secretly struggling with something.

"I um, I read something somewhere when I was feeling suicidal and it really resonated with me."

"What was it?"

"When most people are suicidal it's because they want a break from everything right?"

She nodded. "Right."

"Well, suicide isn't a break. People fail to realize that suicide is permanent and there's no coming back from it. Wanting to take a break from all the shit that's fucking you up doesn't amount to suicide. Sometimes all people need is a good cry, which is perfectly fine, sadness is inevitable. Just don't think that because life is shitty right now it'll never get better, the only way to experience the better part of life is to wait it out. With suicide, you can't wait it out because you're already gone." I cleared my throat realizing I was ranting.

"Moral of the story, suicide isn't a break from life, it's permanent and I had to remember the times that I do smile and laugh and then I realized that the sadness I'm feeling is just another bump in the road, might be a pretty big bump but you have to look at it from another view. A bump makes you jump but eventually, even if the little bump turns into a hill you'll eventually have a smooth ride that'll lead to a fall with no bumps...if that makes sense."

She chuckled nodding. "I get what you're saying."

I nodded. "Good because I didn't." We both laughed and I shrugged. "Just remember that you- hypothetically, aren't the only one going through shit. You don't have to handle everything on your own."

She nodded. "Hypothetically."

"Exactly."

The sun finally set and Vanessa lifted her head off my shoulder. "You really like my smile?"

"Huh?"

"I remember you saying my smile shouldn't have that much of an effect on you..."

I nodded as she looked over at me. "It was kind of love at first sight after I saw your smile."

She blushed slightly and looked away.

I smiled softly and looked down at my hands as a voice rang through my head.

"What do you want Nessa?"

"Umm...what do you mean?"

"I mean, all this time my question has always been, do you want me. So right now I'm asking you what you want...forget about me and just tell me what you want."

She raised a brow surprised and gulped. "I um, I've never been asked that so I don't really know how to answer."

I nodded. "I get it."

She hummed. "Maybe um...Maybe I just want to be treated right? I mean you know about my past relationship, I guess I just want someone who can handle me. I have a lot of problems mentally, as you can see, and I feel like I would want someone who could help calm me down when I have nightmares and when I have panic attacks...stuff like that."

Wow, I didn't know she had panic attacks.

"Who usually helps you with that stuff?"

She stayed silent for a few seconds before shaking her head with a faint smile on her face. "Summer kind of helps...but um mainly myself."

I chuckled to myself. "Liar, Summer definitely helps with all of that."

She nodded meeting my eyes as she grimaced. "Ugh, she does I just didn't want you-"

"Chill," I bumped her shoulder. "I get it."

Jasmine helps me with shit that nobody else can help me with- mainly calming my ass down because when she does that slight glare with a raised eyebrow I get scared- anyway, that's beside the point. Summer being able to help Vanessa isn't a problem, as long as she has someone...

Fuck.

I thought about Jasmine again.

"Thank you though." I raised a brow looking back at Vanessa. "For asking me that."

I nodded. "Of course."

She stared into my eyes with a smile on her face and I rolled my eyes. "Now your purposely smiling just to get to me."

She tilted her head and shrugged as her smile got bigger. "Maybeeee...Who knows?"

I chuckled and leaned closer to her. "You do."

She nodded. "Let's be honest, you do too."

Fuck it.

I leaned down and sealed our lips in a gentle kiss.

Of course, the butterflies spread throughout my stomach as she reached up and cupped my cheek.

I turned my head to the side and deepened the kiss as she softly scratched my neck causing goosebumps to rise.

She pulled back slightly with a hum and I slowly opened my eyes.

Yup, this date helped.

I want her.

I don't want it to seem like I'm just settling for her but, in a way I am. Although when I say settle I don't mean, oh well Jasmine doesn't want me so I'll just go for the second-best option. I mean, this is definitely someone I want to settle down with. There's no comparing her to Jasmine, I have love for Vanessa and I won't have any regrets with making her mine.