I wrung my hands as I pasted the floor. She's okay everyone is okay, Quincy's okay and I don't have to worry. I looked down at my phone and shook my head. I'll call later because she's okay, no need to rush.

Maybe I should get a glass-

"Ahh!" I hunched over as a sharp pain shot through my stomach. "I'm sorry baby I'll calm down."

I sat on the couch and rubbed my stomach while closing my eyes. "Jeez son that hurt."

I sat there rubbing my stomach as I started to think about her, that smile, those eyes, the way she talks to our baby, the gentle touches she gives me, the fucking kisses man those kisses, honestly just her presence is...

Fucking fuck, why the fuck can't I ignore those feelings? Fucking stupid fucking heart is always fucking around with my fucking emotions.

"Ughhhh!" I groaned not understanding why she was so perfect. Not understanding why I didn't realize it sooner, maybe if we would've gotten together when we first met I wouldn't be so scared.

Another sharp pain went through my stomach and I frowned.

Should I be worried about that?

I shook my head as my eyes started to water. Am I really about to cry?

A tear rolled down my cheek and next thing you know I was full-on sobbing.

"I'm such a dumbass," I sobbed. "I love her so muchhhh."

My phone rang and I instantly stopped crying and grabbed my phone wiping my face.

"Hello?"

"Jazzy, hey I wanted to-"

"Y/n, oh my gosh I've been worried sick."

She chuckled. "Everything's fine Jazzy, well kind of, um Travis is in the hospital he's really beat up."

My heart fell as I grabbed my keys. "What hospital?"

"St. Vincent but um, you don't have to rush he's not really talking to anyone."

"Wait why, where's your mom?"

The phone went silent and I pulled the phone away from my head making sure she was still on it. "Y/n?"

"Huh?"

"Your mother?"

She laughed. "I don't know she um- that's why Travis is hurt because she wasn't around."

"Wasn't around? She never leaves Travis-"

"Um just get here when you get here but don't panic everything's cool, bye love you."

"Y/n-"

The phone went dead and I shook my head pulling on my shoes and walking out of the door. I paused as my mouth started to water. Turning back around I ran inside the house and into the bathroom making it their right before I threw up.

What the hell is that taste- what did I eat?

I shook my head and flushed the toilet walking to the sink and brushing my teeth. This toothpaste is really minty.

I hummed.

I could really go for some double mint ice cream and a big juicy steak. I nodded as I finished brushing my teeth and pulled out my phone.

What do I search up for that? Maybe I could make my own steak and just buy some ice cream from the store.

Okay, I went to my maps and typed in "grocery stores near me."

Hmmm, ohhh there's a Walmart by St. Vincent- oh shit Travis.

I quickly pocketed my phone and ran out of the house and hopped into my car. I took in a couple of deep breaths trying to control my breathing before starting up my car.

Maybe I should work out more because damn I feel like I just ran a marathon.

I pulled out my driveway and started to the hospital. I felt the butterflies in my stomach going crazy. Who knows how much Y/n is freaking out, and where the hell is her mom?

I'm getting the feeling that what she told me wasn't the full truth, If Quincy freaked out Y/n during a phone call then it must've been really serious. Quincy doesn't just panic for nothing.

Another sharp pain shot through my stomach and I shook my head. Right my son is telling me to calm down so let me calm my ass down.

I turned on the radio and groaned as Y/n voice rang through the speakers.

"Seriously?"

I continued to the hospital and eventually made it there. I quickly rushed in and went up to the front desk.

"Hi, how can I help you?"

"Um, I'm looking for Travis Y/ln."

The lady typed in his name and I tapped my foot impatiently rolling my eyes.

Hurry up lady.

"Floor three room 201."

I smiled and sped walked towards the elevator. Stepping in I took it all the way to the third floor and rushed out looking for room 201.

198...199...200...Quincy?

"Quincy!"

His head shot up and he quickly stood rushing over to me, he pulled me into a hug and I paused shocked.

I slowly wrapped my arms around his waist and frowned. "Quincy what-"

"So much shit happened Jaz, Travis is hurt, Eddie got arrested."

Arrested?

"S-shes dead."

I quickly leaned back.

"She? You don't mean-"

"Yeah...yeah I do."

My heart fell and I gulped. "Wait, Quincy, how- why- who-"

"Listen we can talk about that later," he pulled back and wiped his cheeks. "Travis isn't talking and Y/n isn't accepting the fact that her mom is gone."

I glanced at room 201's door and nodded. "Okay um- she's in there with him?"

Quincy nodded and looked down. "We got into an argument because she doesn't want to a-accept the fact that she's gone and I-I," he shook his head as a tear fell. "I feel like shit, she's hurting and I don't know how to help," he sniffed. "She hasn't cried and I'm scared of what this'll do to her Jaz. This could be the thing to drive her over the edge and she could never be the same a-and I just can't lose my best friend," he wiped his cheeks again. "I hate feeling this hopeless and I hate that I can't do anything so I'm going to let you try and I-I'm going to go see my boy- um friend because I um need someone to just hold me I guess." He shrugged and picked up his sweater from the chair and glanced at the door one more time before going to walk away.

I quickly stopped him by grabbing his hand and pulling him back into me. "You can let your quote on quote friend hold you later," I smiled softly looking up at him. "Just let me hold you for a minute first."

He smiled down at me and clenched his jaw before holding me tightly. "Am I squeezing too tight?"

I closed my eyes as I took in his scent. "Not at all."

He nodded and sighed. "Thank you Jazzy."

Anytime.

-

I sighed sitting back in my chair after trying once again to get Travis to talk. I fucking hate seeing him like this and I fucking hate Eddie even more. I closed my eyes and thought about what he said.

I shouldn't have gone to see him, now my brothers hurt and I don't even know where my mom is. I know she wouldn't purposely leave Travis alone so maybe he scared her off, maybe he picked Travis up from school early, maybe she had to work overtime and she doesn't know yet. Shit, she's going to beat herself up when she finds out.

I shook my head before looking back up at Travis. I hoped he didn't blame me for what happened because I know I did. I should've picked him up myself instead of sending Quincy. Now Quincy's blaming himself and Travis is-

Travis looked up at me and his frown got deeper. "What?" I asked gently.

"Why aren't you sad?"

Well, I didn't think that would be the first thing he said.

I frowned. "What do you mean of course I'm-"

"Your eyes are...empty?"

I shook my head. "What-"

"Usually when your sad your eyes are watery and dark and your always frowning but right now you just look like your here and nothing else," he bit his lip as he started to play with his fingers. "Don't you care that mom's-"

There was a knock at the door making Travis stop talking and look back down.

"Hey."

I looked at the door as Jasmine walked in with a sad smiled on her face. I stood up slowly pushing what Travis said to the back of my head.

"Hey, didn't think you'd get here this quick."

She nodded slowly as she watched Travis. "How is he?"

I scratched the back of my neck glancing at Travis. "Not good."

Travis shook his head and turned to lay on his side. I frowned looking back at Jasmine who was already watching me.

"And how are you?"

I nodded. "Other than Travis I'm fine."

"Other than Travis?"

I nodded. "Yeah um are you okay?"

She scoffed. "Y/n you-" she paused looking as if she just realized something. Glancing at Travis she cleared her throat. "I'm fine um, when did they say Travis could leave?"

What was she going to say?

"A couple of days, they wanna keep an eye on him." She nodded staring at me, almost like she was studying me. I won't lie I started to feel uncomfortable. "U-um what?"

She shook her head walking over to Travis. "Quincy told me he hasn't been talking."

"Yeah but he said some stuff before you walked in."

She hummed and sat in the chair next to him. "Um not to seem like an ass or anything but could I possibly talk to him alone?"

I nodded quickly. "Yeah, of course, I'll um- okay"

I rushed out of the room and sighed when I didn't see Quincy sitting there anymore. I feel bad for yelling at him but he keeps saying shit that isn't true. I put my hands in my pockets and walked around looking for a vending machine.

I look empty? I guess I am considering the fact that I don't want him to see my anger...because I am angry...he hurt my brother and to make things worse my mom left him alone.

I looked down at my arm and ran my thumb over the tattoo I got for her before shaking my head.

I'll just have to talk to her later because she has to call soon, maybe she knows who was in that body bag. I chuckled thinking back to a conversation we had a long time ago.

"Excuse me?"

I shook my head and looked at the doctor standing in front of me. "Yeah?"

"Are you okay?" I frowned. "Your crying."

I quickly wiped my face and chuckled. "I'm fine."

I rushed away from him and back towards Travis's room.

The hell am I crying for?

I looked down at my hand and clenched my fist.

Where's that fucking ring?

I walked back into Travis's room and stopped in my tracks. Jasmine was holding a sobbing Travis. I braced myself for the pain in my heart but...nothing came.

"Hey," I said softly. "What's going on?"

Jasmine looked up at me as Travis pulled away. She stood up and walked over to me. "Um how about we go back to my house?"

I shook my head keeping my eyes on Travis. "Hey, Trav whats-"

"He wants to be alone."

That should break my heart right? My brother just went through all of that yet he wants to be alone?

Nothing...I didn't feel anything.

"Okay." I whispered and turned walking out of the room.

I walked towards the elevator as I heard the fast feet of Jasmine. "Hey-"

"You having any cravings?" She nodded slowly as I pressed the elevator button. "Cool how about I cool something for you and my daughter?"

She sighed and nodded. "Sure why not?"

We stepped into the elevator and I raised a brow as the door closed. "What'd you and Travis talk about?"

She shrugged. "Your mom."

"Muscle man?" She frowned looking up at me. "You know? Regular show...M-Muscle man-"

"Are you joking right now?"

I chuckled and shook my head. "Does he know where she is?"

She just sighed and looked down at the floor.

I shrugged as the door dinged open and I stepped out.

Someone's moody.

-

"You seriously want raw onions and ice cream?"

She nodded. "That's what I asked for isn't it?"

I chuckled and opened the freezer pulling out some chocolate ice cream. "Chocolate and onions, great combination."

She rolled her eyes. "Don't be jealous."

"Jealous Of?"

"Not being able to stomach that because you're a bitch."

"Woooow." I grabbed a bowl and started to scoop some ice cream into the bowl.

"Fuck," she whispered causing me to look back at her. "I can't joke with you like nothings going on Y/n."

I frowned turning to face her. "What's going on?"

"Y/n where is your mom?"

I chuckled and shrugged. "She's probably working overtime."

She sighed and stood up coming to stand in front of me. "Y/n, where is she?"

I rolled my eyes. "I don't know Jazzy why don't you tell me."

She frowned. "You're serious?" I raised a brow and she continued. "Baby, she...she's dead Y/n."

A sharp pain shot through my heart and I clenched my jaw. "Shut up, you weren't there."

"And neither were you, baby I'm sorry I have to say this but it's the truth and you have to realize that she's-"

"Shut the fuck up Jasmine!" I yelled causing her to jumped back as I came closer to her. "You don't know what the hell you're talking about so mind your business."

Her eyes started to water as she placed a hand onto my chest. "Dino-"

I smacked her hand away. "Don't fucking Dino me Jasmine, what's up with everyone saying my damn mom is dead?"

Her voice got quieter. "Y/n it's the truth."

I leaned down and started her in the eyes feeling my blood boil. "Shut. Up."

A tear rolled down her cheek as she dropped her head. "I'm just trying to help."

"I don't need help."

She nodded rapidly. "But you do, you can't even accept the fact that your mom-"

I grabbed her chin and forced her to look at me. "She's not dead Jasmine, do you hear me? Stop saying she's fucking dead!"

She gripped my wrist. "Y/n your hurting me."

I scoffed dropping my hand as I pushed her to the side and headed towards the front door. "Make your own damn food."

I walked out of her house slamming the door behind me and shook my head.

Who the hell does she think she is? Her and Quincy they both think it's cool to fucking...

I closed my eyes trying to slow down my breathing but it wasn't working. I shook my head and climbed into my car.

I need a fucking drink.

-

😌