PART IV - HELEN

We were sitting at lunch in our usual constellation.

I can't remember how we got to the point of Jamie saying, "When they're trying to convince us that they're not that different from us, why are they dressing that way?" about LGBTQ+ people at Pride, but there we were, staring at him.

"You do have strong opinions about everything, don't you?" Sofia was the first one to break the silence.

"Jamie, stop," I said, putting my hand on his arm, but he shook it off.

"Don't get me wrong," Jamie elaborated, "I don't care what they do, okay? Everyone can have sex with whoever they want to," he defensively raised his hands. "But why the shorts and the tops and the makeup. You know." He was gesturing with his hands all over his body.

I didn't even know where to begin. I just wished for him to stop embarrassing himself.

Sofia, again, was the one to intervene. Her voice was calm but insistent. "Because they can. Because one day, they can wear whatever they want and won't get judged. Do you know their background? Where they come from? No. Maybe their families are not supportive and they cannot out themselves. Or the neighborhood they live in is full of homophobic assholes who would beat the living crap out of every boy wearing makeup. Most queer people are oppressed every single day of their life. One day a year, they can wear whatever they want. And the only people who judge them are uneducated, privileged cishet men."

Throughout her whole monologue, she had stared into Jamie's eyes until he looked away.

"You can be your boring-ass self 365 days of the year," she continued, "please let queer people be themselves for one day. It shouldn't bother you. It doesn't concern you. Just leave them be."

It was quiet for a second and just as Jamie opened his mouth, Sofia said in a sharp tone: "And Jamie, stop sexualizing queer people. Pride is not about sex; it's about having rights and being safe in a heteronormative, homophobic world."

Then she got up and walked away.

"She wouldn't even let me finish," Jamie protested.

"Because she was right," I said quietly.

Miranda looked disinterested at her phone. "I need to get to class. You coming?" Latter was to Alison, who followed her without protest.

Then it was just Baker, Jamie, and I. No one said anything. Baker stared at Jamie.

Then he got up and walked away.

"What is his problem?" Jamie ranted.

"You're being impossible, Jamie."

"Why are you always on their side?"

"I'm not on anyone's side!"

"You should be on my side."

"No, I should be on my side. On the side I think is right. And they are in the right."

Jamie stared at me for a second. "When did you become like this?"

"Like what, Jamie?"

"So bitchy."

"I'm going to tell you something that you won't want to hear." I took a deep breath. "You're behaving like a sexist, homophobic idiot and I hate it and I wished, for once, you'd reflect upon your words and actions and get back to me once you've rediscovered the nice, carrying person I fell in love with."

Then I got up and walked away.