PART III - SOFIA

In Algebra, Jenny slid a flyer over the desk.

are you queer or questioning?

we create a safe space to talk about sexuality, identity, and safe sex.

join us! we meet on mondays at 3 p.m. room sc101

was written in rainbow-colored cursive letters on white background.

"We printed them last week, what do you think?"

Instead of answering her question, I asked: "Do you think I'm gay?"

Her eyes widened and she looked uncomfortable. "No, no, of course not, I'm handing one to everyone I meet."

I hated the fact that Jenny justified herself. I was not angry at her, of course, I was angry at the society that taught us that being gay, or looking gay, or appearing gay, or acting gay was shameful. No wonder nobody wanted to be perceived as gay.

"Too bad. I try so hard to give off a gay vibe." I said expressly sad. Then I turned my head slowly to her with an impish grin. She slapped my upper arm, but a wide smile spread over her face.

"You asshole! I thought you were actually offended by this."

No, of course, I wasn't. I looked down at my patterned button-up, the cuffed jeans, and worn-out Vans, the ring on my thumb. I really tried hard. The only thing missing was a cut on my eyebrow, but I couldn't bring myself to do it yet.

Jenny followed my look and nodded approvingly. "I can see it now."

"Quiet, please, Jennifer and New Kid in the back," our teacher admonished.

"I'll be there," I whispered, waving the flyer.

I met my first girlfriend in my LGBTQ school club in Mexico. It didn't last long, but long enough to find out I was really a lesbian. Long enough for the first "I love you", the first time, and the first broken heart.

I was excited about this club. Maybe I'd meet someone who could stop my hopeless drooling over Helen. And if not, I could still learn something, share stories, have a good time.

I laughed at myself that I befriended Jenny, another queer girl, of all people. How was it that we always found our kind?

Joking with Jenny, I realized that I had thought about the whole birthday all wrong. It didn't matter that I didn't have a lot of good friends yet. I had friends who could become great friends.

Me @Casa Hernandez & Gutiérrez // 9:54 AM: can I have a party on friday? like a belated birthday party

Me @Casa Hernandez & Gutiérrez // 9:54 AM: only a few people, like 10 or so

I probably had to wait until Santiago was out of class which could be another hour, but I used that time to draft a message I would send to the six people whose phone numbers I had.

Santiago @Casa Hernandez & Gutiérrez // 10:02 AM: Of course!

Santiago @Me // 10:03 AM: I'll take Chio on a nice date, don't tell her ;)

I rolled my eyes at the cuteness.

Me @Santiago // 10:03 AM: thank you! I won't, promise :)

A minute later, another message came in:

Mami @Casa Hernandez & Gutiérrez // 10:05 AM: Only if you clean up the hose afterwards!

I sent a party gif from The Office.

I waited until the class was over, then created a new group and wrote:

Me @birthday parteeey // 10:21AM: hi guys, it was my birthday last week and I would like you to come to my party on friday, 8pm, my house. there'll be food, drinks & a good time. hope to see you there, sofia

I added the address and waited.

Baker @birthday parteeey // 10:22AM: hell yes!!

Baker @birthday parteeey // 10:22AM: im down

Francis (Art) @birthday parteeey // 10:23AM: Me too :)

Jenny (Algebra) @birthday parteeey // 10:25AM: Me too! 😍

Jenny (Algebra) @birthday parteeey // 10:25AM: Can I bring a +1?

Me @birthday parteeey // 10:25AM: of course :)

Jenny (Algebra) @birthday parteeey // 10:26AM: Superb 😊

Bonnie @birthday parteeey // 10:30AM: Count me in!

Helen Collins @birthday parteeey // 10:32AM: Thank you for the invitation! Jamie and I will be there.