PART VII - HELEN

Jamie was still in football tryouts, so I sat down on the bleachers and waited. I took out my diary and wrote down:

I took out my phone and googled "jesse have mercy".

Apparently, Jesse was a character from Full House – a real Casanova.

I thought about it a moment, then I crossed out tomorrow and wrote down this next week to it.

"Babe!" Jamie was a few feet in front of me. "I'm gonna take a shower, be right back."

"Okay," I said smiling and threw him a kiss.

"My folks are home, should we go to your place?" He asked as we were walking hand in hand to his car.

"I'd rather not. Amanda isn't working today, and I don't think there's anything edible at home."

"Let's just order something to eat."

I smiled at him. "Sounds good."

We were watching a movie in my bed when Jamie started kissing my neck, then my mouth. Blindly I closed the laptop and put it next to me on the nightstand. With his hand on my thigh, he pulled my leg over his lap so I ended up sitting on top of him.

I was distracted by the kiss and how his face felt under my fingertips, that I realized too late he had unbuttoned his jeans.

"What are you doing?

"Uh – like – I thought we were going down a road here."

"A road to –"

"To sex, yes. Why do you think I asked how long your Dad is gonna be gone?"

"Jamie, I –"

"I mean – Helen - we've been dating for a year and we haven't had sex yet! Don't you wanna sleep with me?"

I shook my head confused. "Of course, I want to have sex with you. I just didn't expect it to happen tonight."

"Okay," he said, looking at me impatiently. "Then when?"

"I don't know, Jamie," I said irritated. "Maybe when we're not surrounded by pizza boxes, it's not a school night, I'm not on my period and don't have a thousand other things on my mind. There are a thousand reasons why –"

"It's the first day of the school year. What could possibly be going on in your head?"

I buried my head in my hands. "It's not going to happen tonight, Jamie."

He nodded resignedly, then got up.

"Are you leaving?"

"Yeah."

I bit my lip in an attempt to keep the tears from filling my eyes.

He left without saying another word.