today is the day of the engagement, I don't how I am feeling about any of it because if anything goes wrong I will be stuck with him.

the last two days were...I don't know the words to describe them.

all I thought of was the escape and how the moment I will be out of here I will get engaged to another man.

but then again , it's fake. I can get away whenever I want.

I didn't say a word to anyone, I woke up, took long showers, ate, took naps, ate, then slept again.

true to carlos' words I stayed handcuffed to the bed the entire time unless it was to go to the bathroom, take a shower, or eat.

he was there when I ate and tried to talk to me but I said nothing, he got mad, broke a few chairs, slapped me a couple of times but I stood my ground and I ignored his taunting words.

for some reason my mind always thought of nathan, it's like those memories kept me sane and took my mind off things.

the fact that those are just memories and all I will ever have hurt like hell but something about feeling how I felt even for a second makes me somehow collected.

I stopped thinking about how much I've lost or how I will have nothing when I am out because it only makes me weaker than I already am.

however the nightmares always reminded me of the my sour reality, it's like fate is taunting me and punishing me for something I myself don't know.

"hello" a woman said in a bored tone pulling me out of my trance, I looked up wincing at my sore shoulders to see a woman in her late 20s with a full face of make up and a formal hairstyle.

she nodded at me then said "I am here to style your hair and do your make up.", I nodded back and she put her stuff on the sofa near the mini library.

soon after carlos came in and said "I want you to put her hair up to show her tattoo.", I cringed at that but I will be fine, I will be out of here and remove the tattoo.

he turned his attention to me and said "you still don't want to talk?", I kept the eye contact to show him that I am somehow strong when in fact I am nothing but that. but again showing him fear or weakness will only feed his ego.

he scoffed and said "you have until tonight to speak, if not I won't care about your uterus or you not being able to get pregnant.".

my heart ached at that, not all his bullshit because I know it was to keep him away but the word pregnant.

I was, a human was inside me and got killed.

I don't know if I should feel more pain or less, I really don't know but what I know is that I am empty....regardless of the hope I have now...I feel empty.

he left the room slamming the door on the way out, the woman came closer and brought a key to the handcuffs.

she uncuffed my hands, my hand immediately went to my stomach which is all I've been doing whenever my hands are free.

there is a whip bruise there and it hurts just as much as any other one on my body.

I closed my eyes trying to keep my mind off that night but opened them when the woman said "stop being so dramatic and let's get started, I don't have the entire day. you should've thought about this before spreading your legs for him" in a disgusted tone.

I just stared at her wanting nothing more than to punch her, who the fuck does she think she is? she has no idea what I went through yet she's here judging me?

I stood up feeling rage bottle up within me and spoke for the first time in the last two days "I suggest you know what you're going to talk about before opening that shitty mouth of yours, you know nothing about what's happening or me. you're simply here to do my make up and hair, do it as you're told with your mouth shut because it's not your place to say shit. I gotta admit tho your asshole must be proud of how much shit your mouth let out.".

she glared me and went to her bag then started with my hair pulling some strands roughly on purpose but I let out a sigh each and every time because talking back was a mistake in the first place.

she deserved it and probably more but I have to be careful and calm because anything can ruin this night.

--------------

she finally finished the hair and make up after what seemed to be years, another woman got in and brought a red off-shoulder gown.

all I have to do now is wear it and take a clutch bag.

I headed to the the bathroom after picking the dress up and began stripping, I wore it and looked at it's details in the mirror.

it's plain and simple, but heavy as fuck. I have no idea how I will run with it but I will figure something out.

(this isn't exactly what I wanted but I am really busy and don't have time to look anymore-author)

I left the bathroom to see the rude woman packing her bags, she shot me one last glare before leaving.

not even a minute later carlos came in and stood near the door staring at me.

I took the clutch bag on the bed and walked to him in steady steps with my back straight and my head high.

he smirked and pulled me into him once I was within his reach and said " what I would do to rip this gown and take you right here and right now, too bad we have to go.".

I stayed silent not wanting to say anything to which he clenched his jaw and said "you're really getting on my nerves right now.".

I let out a sigh and the next thing I know I am pinned against the wall with his lips on mine.

my stomach twisted in disgust but I closed my eyes and kept repeating reassuring sentences to myself. "you're leaving tonight.", "deal with him one last time.", "just this night.".

he pulled away looking angry as ever and said "I will make sure to fuck whatever this is out of you tonight.".

before literally dragging me to an elevator, he pressed the first floor and kept his hold on my waist tight squeezing air out of me.

the door opened and he dragged me out and to a black SUV, he pushed me in harshly and got in after me.

once in he shot me a glare and said "whenever I try to somehow be better with you, you piss me off. it's like you love it when I fuck sense into you.".

that alone made my eyes water, he's so fucked up and delusional.

he grabbed my jaw tightly and tilted my face so I looking at him then hissed "when I talk to you, you fucking look at me.".

he added a lot of pressure to the point where I couldn't take it anymore and let out a cry of pain, he smirked and said "there you go, now fucking talk.".

I tried taking his hand off my jaw but he kept it in place and yelled "TALK!", I pushed back the lump that's forming at the back of my throat and said "let go".

he slammed my head into the window behind me making my pounding pain shoot across my head then yelled "YOU JUST HAVE TO FUCKING PISS ME OFF BEFORE DOING WHAT I ASK YOU TO DO RIGHT?".

I felt the car start moving and only then did I realize that there is a wall between us and the driver.

he let go of my jaw and fixed his suit then ran a hand over his hair.

-------------------

we arrived at the venue and just like the last time I was out , I didn't focus on anything but getting out.

I didn't pay attention to the decorations or the people greeting us, all I am focusing on is men and the back exist, the doctor said men will take me out so as far as I know anyone here could be the one.

a couple who seems to be in their late 40s came with big smiles on their faces, the woman immediately hugged carlos and said "my baby grew up and is getting engaged.".

oh...so this is his mother...

she looked at me with a smile and came in for a hug, she pulled away and said "you have no idea how much I've been wanting to meet you but he always had something going on.".

she's really beautiful, she has a long silky red hair and beautiful freckles on her face, her hazel eyes compliment the light make up she has on.

his father on the other hand seems grumpy, he gave me a nod of acknowledgement and went back to talking with carlos.

do they know what their son does? does cassandra know what her brother does?

a boy who seems to be 14 or 15 with a hair as red as his mother's joined with a bright smile, looks like he's the only one who got his mother's hair.

he extended his hand for me to shake and said " I am leo, carlos' brother.", I shook his hand and let what he said settle in my head.

I scanned the room till his mother said "you better call me rose, I don't take Mrs.rodriguez" in a playful tone.

I gave her a fake smile and nodded, she looked at carlos and his father then said "us girls are going to get a drink, enjoy your boring talk.".

maybe this will be the man's chance to make a move.

that hope was shoved away when carlos said "no mom, she doesn't drink."., she looked between us suspiciously then gasped and asked "is she pregnant?".

that alone made my heart ache, the word brings me pain unlike any other.

carlos chuckled as if it's funny or a joke, not like I was 3 days ago but he fucking killed it.

his mother looked confused but soon smiled when he said "no, she just doesn't drink.".

she looked at me and said "fine, let's get some orange juice.", carlos looked at me then pulled me into him and whispered "try anything and everyone here dies.".

I just nodded hoping whoever dominico sent is keeping an eye on me and makes a move the moment we're far.

carlos placed a kiss on my cheek and let go.

me and rose walked side by side to the bar where all the beverages are served silently, I don't want to give her false hope of having a daughter in law or any of that.

we only managed to walk for 2 minutes before the electricity went off and people started muttering things.

someone suddenly held my wrist and dragged me to a random direction making me involuntarily gasp.

I ran trying to keep up with his fast pace but the heels are not making things easy, so I stopped for a second making him stop with me and quickly threw away the heels then we both began running again.

I saw some light coming from a door and immediately knew it's the exist we will be using.

my lungs started burning but I kept running with him, a loud gun shot and carlos yelling my name made my heart race and adrenaline kicked in.

I finally looked at the man to see his back, he has dark hair and that's all I can tell for now because it's dark.

another gun shot echoed the big venue making me shiver but thank god the light after we went through the door took my attention.

I looked up again and my heart fell to the bottom of my feet, not because of fear, not because I an out of breath or nervousness but because I am overwhelmed.

the man in front of me is...

nathan...