When I get to the front door of Rain's house, I can already feel my blood pressure rising despite the frigid temperatures biting at my fingertips. I want to hang out with my friend, but I'm not sure if it's worth it. Is it worth the pain of being here? Is it too late to bail?

Rain throws the door open. I didn't knock but 3 seconds ago. The 16 year old girl's nostrils flare, she grips the door with one hand and the other hand is planted firmly on her hip.

Yeah, it's definitely too late to bail.

"It's about damn time! I am so tired of this place. I am suffocating." She complains, and I almost laugh. She dodges one of her little siblings as they run by like a blur. Rain giving a shriek as a little tyke latches onto her leg with a death grip. I hold back a laugh, not wanting to piss her off further.

"Lucy, I swear to the Goddess that I will slap you across the face. Don't test me." The little girl laughs, but listens to her older sister's wishes and runs off. "Little demons. I swear. Let's go."

Relief floods me when she slams the door and runs down the porch steps, away from the building of painful reminder, her long black hair flying behind her like a flag. She grabs my hand, dragging me along as she heads for the woods. Snow doesn't deter her sense of adventure. I think of Kiefer. My lips turn down.

This outing is supposed to be fun. My brain isn't going to ruin it for me.

We always hang out in the trees, a lot of people around here do. We grew up here. It's where we belong. The nature of the mountains calls to us.

Luckily, Alpha Veiler built a little play cabin in the woods for us kids to play in. It's more of a shed, but we still keep it clean and furnished. It's our hangout spot. Another knife in the heart as far as I'm concerned. I can't escape the reminders of Kiefer. They're everywhere.

I remember so many tender moments spent among these woods. The days when Keifer and I could just run and frolic and spend hours together until the sun disappeared behind the mountains. I can remember it all so well, as if it happened just yesterday. I still hear his laugh, smell his scent on the wind while we chased each other. We used to collapse in a pile of giggles when we caught up with each other.

Well, now I have Rain. Despite the 7 year age gap, we're still close. All of us are. There's Daniel and Felix, and Ivy and Arrow, AKA Klepto and Ezra's kids. Rome and Martha, Ryk and Tressandra's oldest. Ray, Stacey and Reid's only child, who is also my cousin. She's very reserved, quiet and thoughtful, everything her Mother isn't.

All of us are around the same age. Our parents are close, so it only makes sense that we would be as well.

But sometimes I latch onto Rain exclusively, though. She reminds me of Keifer. Even if it's painful to be reminded of him, I'm still drawn to anything that will keep him with me somehow.

And he did ask me to take care of her. It seems silly, I'm a werewolf and she's a lycan. She's more powerful than I'll ever be, even though she hasn't shifted for the first time yet. She's the same height as me, which will change once she does hit maturity. She's been insisting that she will shift any day now, but she has been saying that for months.

Rain collapses on the sofa once we get into the shack, sighing while she drags her legs up to her chest. She looks so much like her Mother, the Luna, but with her Dad's black hair and scary eyes. It's unnerving to look into pure red, glowing irises. I'm sort of used to it by now though. Almost.

"I am so sick of having sibling. My parents should have stopped after me, I swear." I roll my eyes, settling for standing instead of sitting. I lean up against the wall and observe her as she glares.

"You're lucky. I'm an only child, and it's boring. Just me and my Dad. I would kill to have a sibling." I joke, reminiscing on my quiet childhood. My Dad is basically a child, he's never really serious, and he hardly ever thinks before he acts.

Rain chuckles, glancing at me with humor and a little bit of disgust. She'll never understand my desire to have a big family. She's taken hers for granted for far too long.

"You can have one of my 4 little siblings. They're so annoying. Especially Thorne. He will not give it a rest. He's always bugging me. It's his favorite pastime."

Throne is one of the twins. Him and his brother Titus are only 12, but they're already crazy. A little bit of crazy never hurt anyone though. I think they're cute.

"So, you can still feel your shift coming, huh?" I change the subject, trying to keep my mind occupied and away from upsetting things.

Sometimes it's difficult to find a good distraction. Other times, I let myself wallow in the troubling thoughts that run rampant in my skull like sharp daggers.

"Well, yeah, it could be any day. I feel so uneasy. Rome is feeling it to. He's hovering. I kind of need a break from him too. Never thought I'd be saying that..."

Rome and Rain are mates. They've known forever, and they were sure to let everyone know too. Their parents are okay with it for the most part. I just wish that the same were to happen with me and Keifer. No one knows about us. He asked me to keep it a secret, afraid of what could happen. I never wondered why, I just blindly followed him. I always have.

But now I question it. The day he left I started questioning it. I didn't want him to be sent away, and maybe us being mates would stop that from happening. Even after all this time, I haven't told a soul. I think some people suspect though, Rain being one of them. I need to be more careful.

"My parents are super stressed about stuff already, so my shift is just another thing to worry about." She sighs, running a hand through her hair. "I feel guilty for being at this part of my life, but it's not like I can help it."

My interest has been peaked.

"Why are your parents stressed?"

Rain laughs, slapping her knee comically.

"What aren't they stressed about?" She exclaims, moving forward until her elbows are propped up on her knees. She stares straight ahead with a bored expression.

"Mom misses Keifer, Dad is worried about hunters, and then there's the fact that Rome wants to claim me as soon as I shift. Dad doesn't like that last bit, I assure you."

I move past the whole Keifer thing, focusing on the second part more than anything. My brows furrow in worry.

"Hunters?" I breathe with a prickle of unease sliding under my skin, but Rain just waves it off.

"You know, people trying to find proof of supernatural kind and all that. Apparently it's getting worse. We're safe though. No human hunter has anything on a pack full of lycans. Our pack is strong enough to take down an army without a single casualty. We'll be fine." She assures me, as if I'm going to panic over it.

Who knows, I might. I've seen too much to be normal now. I've gone through too much to be naive. Rogues took my parent's lives right in front of my eyes. I lost my mate and haven't seen him in years. I feel like I'm slowly dying. I can't go through much worse than that. Add hunters to the list, sure, why not?

"And then there's the Keifer situation. Mom hasn't seen him in 6 months. She's worried. He won't let her come see him. He says it's because he doesn't want her around his comrades, you know, since they're a bunch of miscreants, but Papa thinks it's something else. So do I."

Rain's shoulders seem to get heavy. She looks away, rubbing her forehead as she hides the distress in her eyes. Poor Rain. She never wants anyone to feel bad, she hates focusing on the hard stuff.

I don't even have to press her. She just spills it.

"We think he's ashamed that Mom is human."

I gasp, my heart shrinking. That's not Keifer. He would never.... I can't see him ever... no. Not Keifer. He's not like that. I want to shout the denial, make her see from my perspective. Just because he was a rebellious teenager doesn't mean he's that way anymore. He's 20 years old.

Then I realize that I don't know him as well as I used to. He could have changed, in fact, he has changed, I'm completely sure of it. He can't go to military camp and be the same after that. It's not possible.

Sure, we write letters back and forth, but we don't tell each other everything. It gets deeper than the surface level stuff, but he doesn't tell me everything. I don't expect him to either.

Has he developed a prejudice against humans? Have they corrupted his mind to believe such stupid shit?

"Has Alpha Veiler told her...?"

"Oh, Goddess no. No, no, no. There is a zero percent chance of that. Papa would never do that. Ever. He's too delicate with her. We all know she wouldn't take that well." She explains, and her eyes look pained.

Despite how much I despise Alpha Veiler, I know that he's a good mate to the Luna. He takes care of her. That's how a mate should be. It reminds me of how Keifer treated me after I fell from that cliff. He was so gentle, so caring, and then he was torn away from me.

"How long until he gets to come home do you think?" I wonder, surprised that the question popped out of my mouth without permission.

I'm so torn on which side of myself I should listen to. I want the answer, but I'm afraid to hear it. I don't want to aggravate the weakest sliver of my heart that drains me of all life. I bite my lip and hope that Rain doesn't notice my pain. To me it seems like I wear my heart on my sleeve, but she can be pretty oblivious.

"I don't know. I hope it's soon, but I know that he still has work to do. Papa won't let him home until he proves that he's responsible. He says that Keifer has no control of his emotions and his strength. It's so stupid." She rants, throwing her hands up in the air.

I look away, feeling too exposed to be around her for too much longer. I'm scared that if I stay that she'll look close enough to see through me.

Of all people, I know how hard it's been for Keifer to control his temper or his thoughts when he gets going. I almost paid the price for it too. My hand brushes the scar that runs up the side of my neck and my head. Memories of that day are still fresh.

But I know he can get better. No matter what it is, he has to get better. He just has to. Because I don't know what I'm going to do if he doesn't. I might not survive the wait.

"Enough about me. How's your nursing training going with Doctor Melbourne?" I'm thankful for the shift in conversation. I delve into the boring details of my career, determined to convince everyone that I'm okay.

☾❂ ☾❂ ☾❂ ☾❂ ☾❂ ☾❂ ☾❂ ☾❂ ☾❂ ☾❂ ☾❂ ☾❂ ☾

If you're reading this, you are brave :)