Zaib/Zoya

He rushed to the door of their house. Not having enough patience, he entered the password on the electronically locked door handle, and with a beep of confirmation, the door opened. He dashed into the room and looked around, starved for a sight of Zoya.

He stepped closer into the living room. His gaze ran throughout, scrutinizing the room. And there Zoya was. His heart stopped when he finally caught sight of his wife.

She was getting up from the prayer mat next to the balcony, her body covered in a pink jilbab.

His heart ached as he caught sight of her face: she looked pale yellow, her eyes were swollen and red, heavy bags of exhaustion carved under them; the life drained out of her frame. Yet, Zoya Malik still was the most beautiful woman he'd ever laid eyes upon; the hunger for a sight of her suddenly morphed into a longing to hold Zoya close and absorb all the pains from her into himself.

She then turned towards him and halted. Her eyes bulged out of their sockets, and she blinked rapidly, making sure she didn't imagine him standing before her.

He could see every detail even meters away; how the shock settled and her wide eyes grew wet, and tears soaked her cheeks; how her frame quivered and her lips trembled in awe.

After two long weeks of horror, she was finally there, right in front of him. At that moment, his chest flooded with love, the uncomfortable heaviness of his heart finally resting.

He watched her quivering and aching as she tried to hide her tears from him and realized that this woman sincerely loved him with every fibre of her being, and doubting her love was the biggest mistake he'd ever made.

No longer wanting to be apart, he found himself lunging forward. Zoya rushed from the other side, as well, sensing his longing, and when they both were close enough, he threw his arms around her; he pulled her tightly into him as if she were a missing part of his soul.

She responded immediately, wrapping herself into him. Zoya had gone through countless hardships, but this was possibly the biggest test of her life. She had to show patience and her trust in Allah's mercy. In these two weeks, when she had hit rock bottom, Allah was the only one she could turn to. And now, He had finally answered her long prayers in which she spilled her grief and asked for forgiveness; Zaib was home, holding her close to him.

With the warmth of his chest and familiarity of his scent, the feeling of home returned. Her eyes wept with gratitude towards Allah as she sobbed into his chest.

Without letting her go, he caressed her cheek, and, lifting her face, he kissed her with a ferocity and hunger none of them knew existed. They pulled apart, and Zoya opened her eyes with a soft smile, but she felt her heart plummet to the ground as she noticed the tears in his eyes.

It felt like someone had grabbed her heart, yanked it onto the floor, and trampled on it. She had never seen Zaib cry before, and after this day, she would rather die than to see that. She reached out to stroke his damp cheek.

"Stop," she helplessly muttered, her breathing unstable and heavy. "Please, don't. I'm so sorry," her voice wavered, and she broke into tears herself.

"Zoya," he rasped, his cheeks soaking in tears.

She held his wrist and pulled him towards the couch; she hated, absolutely despised witnessing him break. God, she hated it so much.

She sat on the couch and motioned him to as well, but Zaib did not do that. He dropped on his knees and threw his head onto her lap, his sobs overpowering the room.

Zoya stared, desperately wanting to stop his pain but felt useless as she couldn't think of any way to get him to calm down. Zoya then did the only thing she could think of; she softly ran her fingers through his hair, attempting to calm him down.

"Why didn't you tell me about Zain? You had to deal— you had to deal with his stupid remarks, yet you didn't say a word to me," his muffled voice spoke incoherently between sobs.

Zoya froze. Her head started to throb as she quickly caught onto what Zaib was talking about and her grip on his hair loosened.

She couldn't even imagine what things were running through his head after finding out about his brother's addiction. She felt the knots in her chest tighten in pain, and she cried with him.

"You saved that fool's life, and you didn't tell me— your father was struggling with debt, and you decided to bear with the consequences yourself!" His head shot up from her lap, and he looked at her through red, glazed eyes.

"No Zaib—"

"No, Zoya. Listen to me," his little whisper made her immediately stop speaking.

"You handled your responsibilities and never complained about the burden. You've never said you're tired, exhausted, sad. You never told me you had to sit there smiling while my brother dehumanized you. You never—" his voice cracked, his eyes flooded with fresh tears again. "You never told me how hard it must've been to hide Zain's secret just because my mom asked you to. You wanted me to stay unaware and happy, living in my bubble of delusion!" His gaze was intensely penetrating her eyes as if he was questioning her soul.

Zoya was a mess. In response, she was staring back at him with her head lowered.

"Did you not trust me? Did you not want me to know what the hell is going on with my wife!"

"I did, Zaib! I wanted to tell you everything!" She frustratedly yelled, her heart growing lighter as she finally spoke up about her conflicted emotions.

"I wanted to tell you from the start. I never wanted to do this job! My plan only involved attending university and spending my remaining time with you. I felt so conflicted when I had to work forcefully. It's not because I didn't trust you that I didn't tell you. Why would you assume that?" she blamed, her heart palpitating.

"I knew if I told you my dad's problem, you would help in a heartbeat. You wouldn't even think before giving the money away. But that's also exactly why I didn't tell you. I didn't want you to think that you are to be responsible for my family," she explained.

"You are my family," he countered. "You are family Zoya, and they are too. I would've helped like I would help my mother and father. I don't want you taking up some job you never planned on getting, " he addressed.

She nodded, her eyes warming as she looked into his green gaze. "I know... I shouldn't have lied to you. I'm so sorry," she whispered.

"And about Zain, his comments didn't hurt me, Zaib. I didn't tell you because whatever he said didn't matter. You matter to me, and you're the only one who has the power to hurt me," she truthfully answered. "I didn't care what Zain had to say about me. Later, when I found out about his problem, I felt awful. I wanted to come to you, but your mother didn't want me to tell you," she continued.

"It was a private family matter, and I shouldn't have been the one to break the news to you. I knew it would hurt you, so I purposely avoided it. I didn't want to see you hurt."

With his chin on her lap, he held her hand and softly kissed her palm. "I'm sorry you had to go through that."

"I'm sorry I didn't know a thing about my brother. I can't believe it. I don't know what stupid decisions he made to get to this point, but I wish I were there for him," Zaib hastily rubbed his tears away, thinking he was making her uncomfortable.

Zoya softly caressed his cheeks and looked him directly in the eyes. "It's not your fault Zaib. No one could've guessed it." She was determined to make him understand that Zain's ordeal had nothing to do with Zaib.

"Zain lost his way for a while, but he will get better by the will of Allah," she whispered, and Zaib nodded.

"Thank you, Zoya, for loving me so much." She stared at him, her entire demeanour easing.

"Who said I loved you?" She joked, grinning from ear to ear. It seemed after such a long time that she saw him smile as he looked at her as if she were the world.

"You love me so much, Zoya, that even you're unaware of the extent," he said as a matter-of-fact, and she looked away, growing shy.

"Now, get up from the ground, please and sit next to me," she urged, desperately needing him to hold her.

"Your lap's kinda comfy," he remarked, and she giggled annoyedly. "Zaib!" She playfully called out, and he chuckled, getting up and sitting on the couch. Zoya instantly closed the gap between them and kissed his cheek tenderly. She nuzzled her face into his neck and inhaled him, a huge smile uplifting her face.

"You know I haven't showered for three days..."

"Zaib!" She pushed him away.

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"I'm willing to forgive him only if he apologises to you in front of me," Zaib firmly declared as he drove the both of them to the hospital. Zoya shook her head, surprised at her husband's determination to defend her.

They were going to see Zain, after fixing themselves up, of course, and Zaib was still holding a bit of a grudge against his brother. "I know he apologised and admitted his faults, but he still hasn't directly spoken to you about it; I won't have my wife disrespected."

"Zaib, I said it was fine. The poor guy is in the hospital, yet you're worried about an apology."

Although Zain had not been the best person to Zoya, she still wouldn't hold that against him. He had been a victim of associating with the wrong crowd and spiralling into that awful lifestyle. She had hope for her brother-in-law and wasn't going to let her family down.

"We'll see." Zaib begrudgingly muttered as they pulled up to the parking lot.

After giving the patient's name and a few other details, they were led to Zain's hospital room. Fortunately, the hospital he was currently being treated at also had a rehabilitation program for minor addicts such as Zain; he wouldn't have to go too far for those facilities.

As the couple entered the blindingly white room, they found Zain on his bed, in a conversation with his mother.

Upon seeing them enter, Zain weakly smiled. "As salamu Alaykum," he greeted them warmly.

It had seemed like these two weeks had almost completely changed him as a person. To Zoya, she was seeing a new side of Zain as a whole, but to Zaib, he had his brother back. Zaib stared at his brother silently, his heart aching at the sight; Zain appeared visually weaker, his eyes droopy with dark bags under them.

They greeted him back, approaching his bedside. They also exchanged greetings with Zaib's mother, who didn't seem surprised at their presence. Zain had told her how he let Zaib know the truth; initially, she was furious but gave up once she remembered how miserable Zaib had been in the past weeks.

Zoya sat on the chair beside her while Zaib went in for a warm embrace with his brother. "You absolute idiot," Zaib muttered as he punched Zain lightly on the shoulder after hugging him.

"Why would you do that to yourself? And not tell me either. I'm your older brother- I've always been there for you no matter what. Then why wouldn't you come to me?"

A surge of emotions overcame Zaib as he choked his words out, holding back tears. Now that he looked closely at his brother, there was a significant weight loss. He had also lost the spark in his eyes. Zaib had never felt so helplessly guilty for a family member as he did now. His brother had been spiralling right in front of his eyes, and he had failed to notice.

"I'm so sorry. I-It started as a one-off thing, at a party with my friends. Then I met more people, got deeper into the circle- I couldn't get out," Zain looked down, twiddling with his fingers in shame. "I kept telling myself every time was the last; before I knew it, I couldn't breathe without it."

He then glanced over at Zoya, his eyes glossed over with fresh tears. "I hurt so many people. But most of all, I hurt mom and Zoya. In the time where we were supposed to be welcoming her, I pushed her away." His mother reached out to hold his trembling hand as he replayed the unfortunate events in his head.

"Zoya, can I speak with you alone for a moment?"

Zain's new suggestion caught everyone's attention. Zaib snapped out of his emotional state and eyed his brother suspiciously.

Why did he suddenly want to speak to her alone?

Before Zoya could reply, he interjected. "You can speak to her in front of everyone." An uncomfortable feeling like jealousy hit him. He had just reunited with his wife again after two horrid weeks; he didn't want to be apart from her.

"Zaib, it'll be a minute," Zoya lightly touched his arm. Zaib raised his eyebrows frustratedly but he recognized the unsaid message in her eyes. There was a dire need of regret and forgiveness to make amends. Zaib needed to give them that space, so Zain could conveniently recompense for his cruelty.

Therefore, he didn't argue. "Let's go, mom. We need to talk too." He gestured to his mother, who nodded. As he was walking out, he gently whispered to his wife, "A minute and no more." Zoya nodded smiling at him and they left the room.

"So what is it that you had to get me alone to say," Zoya joked, trying to ease the tension in the room. She wasn't sure why he wanted to talk to her either- it wouldn't hurt to find out.

Zain motioned for her to sit down as he started, "I wanted to apologise sincerely to you. Ever since you've become a part of our family, I've been nothing but rude to you, even when you wanted to help me."

She averted her gaze, unsure of what to say.

He continued, "I know what our mother has done- I disagree with her. No matter what I do, I wouldn't allow my problems to interfere with someone's marriage. That's why I had to tell Zaib. I knew you wouldn't as long as mom had a hold on you. And I'm also sorry that you had to lie for our sake.

"Thank you. For being the sister whom I don't deserve. You dropped everything to help us. The doctors told me that- that I wouldn't have lived if I hadn't been rushed to the hospital." Zain broke into sobs mid-sentence. Anger, regret, and guilt were the only things left when he thought back to that day.

His stupidity almost cost him his life; he swore to never go back to being who he was then.

Zoya was alarmed at this outburst and was concerned for him. She had no idea that he had almost lost his life; she had rushed home in a hurry that day and didn't have much time to speak to the doctors.

"When I think of the person I was during that time, I feel as if there's no hope for me. I hurt people, I-I disrespected mom and you. I did unspeakable things, lost myself completely.

"But after that day, I had an innate feeling that I had to get better. I had to get better and fix the mess I'd made. I would be a better son, a better brother, a better friend."

"And I promise I will. I immediately agreed to the rehabilitation program when I was offered it- I've slowly started praying. Do you know the last time I bowed in front of the Creator? Four months ago." Zain's eyes lowered in humiliation.

"How awfully conceited had I become to forget about my creator? When I think about it, I don't think I'll ever be forgiven by Allah," Zain's voice cracked, his sobs overpowering the room.

"Zain, no. Allah is beyond merciful. Don't ever think what you've done is too big for Allah's forgiveness. Allah always waits for his people to find a way back to Him," she quickly corrected, her heart breaking for Zain.

"What happened to you was a blessing in a way. Since you've found the door back to Allah, your connection will be stronger because now you understand the consequences of ignoring our fitrah, which is submitting our will to God," Zoya explained.

Zain rubbed his tears away and looked up at her with a hopeful spark in his eyes and then he smiled at her. "I will try to be the best person I can be. I've talked things out with mom- I'm still working to earn her forgiveness. Zoya- I know it's too much to ask for, but please will you also give me a chance?"

Zoya had known Zain to be a tough nut to break- always keeping his guard up, never letting anyone see his weaknesses. But now that same man was in front of her, eroded to the core. He wept like a child, displaying his vulnerability. She was not one to ever hold grudges- she wasn't planning to anyway. This man was like a brother to her: she would care for Zaib's family as she cared for her own.

"Of course, I'll give you a chance; I've already forgiven you, Zain. I know where you're coming from. I've done things these past few months that I'm not proud of either, yet from experience, I know Allah will always guide us back.

"Your voice messages cleared my name in Zaib's heart. Thank you for being honest when I couldn't. All of us messed up and will continue to do so because we are not perfect- it is how we deal with our issues that determine our ending. So let's forgive each other and have a fresh start, okay?"

Her eyes pooling with integrity, she gave him a heartfelt smile- he returned it, relief flooding him. Finally, they were now on good terms.

"Should I call in Zaib and mom?"

Zain nodded.

As Zoya approached the door, she heard a faint argument outside.

"Mom, I know you keep saying that you did it for my good. But have you ever considered Zoya? Isn't she a daughter to you? Because you told her to, she kept everything a secret from me. Did you know she was also balancing a job to save her family's finances?"

Zoya's heart dropped. She didn't want another fight to breakout right now, so she hurriedly opened the door. The mother and son turned around to see her standing there awkwardly.

She sighed, "Zaib, I don't want you to blame your mother."

"But what she did was wrong, Zoya. I love and respect my mother- I also cherish you. I can't have our relationship to be compromised because of my family."

Before Zoya could reply, his mother spoke up. "I understand, Zaib, and I won't try to defend myself. I admit what I did was wrong, and I'm sorry to the both of you," she turned to Zoya, "Especially you darling, I didn't know you were carrying so many troubles at once- I should have been more responsible and I regret it."

Zoya stepped forward and slipped into her mother-in-law's embrace. "It wasn't your fault. If it were my child, I would've done the same. I forgive you, and Zaib should too."

She looked at Zaib pointedly, who sighed softly and then nodded, joining the embrace. "Just please don't do that again. I'm not a little kid anymore. It's my responsibility to look after everyone, and I will."

"Of course," His mother gave him a peck on the forehead, to which Zoya smiled.

The family returned back into the hospital room, and the four of them spent the rest of the evening enjoying each other's company.

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