The work table was neat, all her assignments piled up were now fixated within the drawers; the shelves which were distorted with tons of books stacked randomly were now the tidiest of libraries with books alphabetically sequenced; the bed seemed untouched as if no one had slept in it for days and the marble floor was giving off a distinct spark as if the room had gotten a newly built flooring.

It was twelve in the afternoon when Bilal walked past her room only to halt upon seeing her frantically wiping the mirror on her cupboard with a glass spray in her grasp. He scanned the entire room and stepped in realizing something was wrong.

"What's wrong?" His sudden intervention caused her to jerk around to face him.

"Don't disturb me." She went back to cleaning.

"You've literally turned the whole house upside down! My room is so neat it's like I never even lived there. Can you stop panicking!" He grumbled.

One of Zoya's habitual practices included, cleaning bizarrely whenever she felt anxious or uneasy about something. Sure it was a great habit, but Zoya always went overboard. Last time, she ordered an entire stock of gloves and toilet cleaners for the entire coming year to follow.

She remained unmoved, scratching the corner of the cupboard with the poor cloth. Bilal grabbed her by the arm and pulled her away. "What is it?" He demanded, rolling his eyes at her.

Her heart faltered and she felt herself grow heavy, so she let herself drop onto the bed, her eyes welling up. Bilal stared surveying her intently. Her nose was turning red, eyebrows furrowed and chin wrinkled. She looked like she was going to burst any moment now. "Do you want to talk?" He mumbled, worry written all over his face. Zoya shook her head which Bilal nodded upon and obliged, leaving her alone.

She brought her knees up to her chest and dropped her head into her lap. Three days had passed by and she hadn't heard a word from Zaib. The aftermath of her dramatic exit from the conference was unknown. She had contacted her friends who said they were told to leave as soon as Zaib returned to the meeting that day.

The horror and guilt weighted upon her chest like a giant rock making her feel uneasy every time she breathed. Zoya was always one to speak her mind and be able to argue with others when it came to her beliefs but this was different.

There was just something telling her that she was all wrong in this, that she shouldn't have reacted the way she did. Accusing Zaib of something which was not confirmed and him not contacting her for the past few days had added the things to her list of worries.

Should I text him an apology...

The idea pressed her every hour but she was too much of a coward to take action. What if he ignored her? What if he rejected the apology? Or worse, broke off their engagement. The mere thought of that had her sweating and her heart thumping.

Zoya, you idiot!

He had all the rights to be annoyed. The fear of losing him kept her caged and lost. These past days had been horrible for her, at every turn she found herself consumed by thoughts of Zaib. No matter how tired she felt, the second her head hit the pillow the dark and silence would welcome every thought to her mind- she hadn't been able to rest well. She quickly sprinted to the washroom, making wudoo and prayed extra voluntary rakaa's to ask Allah for mercy.

With tearful eyes, she made her Duaa.

"I am weak and imperfect. I always make mistakes and come to you for guidance. Allah, it was never my intention to accuse someone innocent of a wrongdoing, please forgive me for that. I should've rectified the problem instead of holding Zaib accountable for it. Oh Allah, he is honest and he'd never do something so awful. I'm sorry, please make his heart soften for me and let him forgive me."

After making her supplication, she remained in prostration for a while. No matter how uneasy she felt, just letting it out to Allah would make her feel better. Her creator was there listening to her every duaa and watching over her, the thought of this provided her a sense of security and comfort. It was her therapy.

The sudden burst of her phone's ringtone made her sit up and she crawled to her side table receiving the call. It was Naimat.

"As salamu alaykum." Zoya replied gruffly, her voice hoarse due to the long crying session.

"Zoe, I have news." Zoya grew confused. "What news?" She wondered.

"I talked to Ehsan. He told me the entire situation and the drama which went down on Thursday." Zoya's breathing seized. "The owner of this project had promised houses for the people of Shahamill but it turned out false. Zaib did recheck many times with the assistant manager but they lied each time. Even the contract includes houses for them but in truth, they had no intention to act accordingly." The breath she was holding heaved out of her in relief.

"After you guys ran out of the meeting, Zaib returned and set things straight. The contract was terminated at the spot and Zaib made sure their company paid a huge fine for their deception. The police got involved and now the project has officially been dismissed."

"What do you plan to do Zoe?" Naimat questioned. Zoya sighed, her heart dropping as she realized what she had done. This was one of the worst feelings she had ever experienced.

"I don't know Naim. I'm so scared," Zoya rasped, her head dropping in shame. "Why're you scared?" Naimat asked.

"I don't want to lose him." The phone call fell silent as both of them prayed for the better in their hearts. "Well, Ehsan did say that Zaib looked very disturbed and he hasn't said a word about this ordeal yet."

Zoya's face crumbled.

"But— you can fix this." Zoya waited for her to continue. "You need to think about what he would want you to do in such a situation. You mistrusted him but what can make things right again?" Zoya nibbled on her lower lip. She knew very little of him yet she was still aware that he was probably very unsettled after she wronged him.

"Naim, I wish I could talk to him." Zoya sighed.

"Wait... but you can!" She yelled.

"What?"

"The phone. You can talk to him on the phone, Zoe!"

"Wait what? No... no! He— I've never been the first to text him let alone call him! Are you crazy?" She screamed, panicked.

"You've got to make this right! What better way could you get?" She urged.

"But— he— he won't even care to listen! He might not even pick up the damn phone—"

Naimat interjected. "Okay? And? It's your fault! You've got to bear with the consequences. Come on, have some guts," she mocked. Zoya screwed her eyes shut out of frustration.

"But Naim—" Zoya's reluctant plea grew pathetic.

"If you want to make it right, do it."

And she cut the call.

://:

"I'm right here. Go ahead."

Bilal was across from Zoya who sat cross legged on the bed as she held onto her phone anxiously. She had went to Bilal's room and grabbed his phone to call Zaib since she didn't want to take any risks, in case he didn't pick up her's. Her face grew pale as she dialed his number.

"Dad has given you permission to speak to him. I don't understand why you're so nervous," he remarked. Zoya gulped nervously, Bilal didn't understand how hard this was for her.

The call began to surface and the rings seemed to last days when suddenly the phone was answered. "Bilal? Is everything okay?"

His voice.

His husky morning voice made her toes curl. She remained silent, struck by his voice. It reminded her of the day when she accidentally picked up Bilal's phone and heard him for the first time. Her heart instantly welled at the sound of him, bringing a flood of emotions to surface.

"Bilal—"

"It's me." His sharp inhale hit her like a truck. She gulped down the uneasiness. "As salamu alaykum," she greeted with a wobbly tone. She heard unbeatable silence from his end. The tension between the two grew even through a phone call.

"Wa Alaykum Assalam." His voice softened.

"How are you-doing?" She felt stupid for asking him such unimportant questions.

"Alhamdulillah. Is there a reason you called?"

She forced herself not to shut the call. She needed to gather her courage. If he pushed her away, she had to grab onto him.

"Yes," she muttered. The silence from the other end encouraged her to carry on.

"Zaib... I—I—well, I'm sorry." The huge weight seemed lifted. "I carelessly blamed you for the whole matter. I really didn't mean to. It's just at the time I was shocked to see you a part of it and acted upon my feelings."

The other end was dead silent, if it were a cartoon, crickets would be heard by now. Bilal stared at Zoya amused.

"I'm mad Zoya."

Zoya's heart thumped harder against her chest. "I am. I really am so don't sound this cute." She blinked. She imagined him to be appalled or at least agitated but he sounded gentle, a voice used to speak to your beloved ones. His soft tone made her want to burst into tears- how could she have wronged a person so pure and loving.

"I'm sorry," she repeated, unsure of any further comment. She was inexperienced in talking to a guy on the phone and especially a guy she felt attracted to.

"Are you still suspicious of me?"

Her chest clenched. He might as well had slapped her to her face rather than ask such a question. She sighed, frowning at herself.

"Zaib, I— I was never suspicious. I don't know how to explain this to you. When I arrived home that night, I couldn't believe it. I realized my mistake because you are not a liar or a self centered idiot," she explained, desperately hoping he did not misunderstand her.

"You are honest and responsible. You'd never do something so cheap— you could never," she concluded with an accelerating heartbeat. At this rate she could feel the thumping of her heart in her neck, goosebumps rising along her arm.

"What if it had been me?" She felt like she was siting in an examination hall.

What were the right answers?

"You?" She muttered. "It is not you Zaib. You did nothing wrong."

"But what if, I was the one who had intended to destroy Shahamill? What would you do?" She felt so thrown off guard with the question. She gulped to ease the stress building up in her nerves.

"I would've asked you to stop."

After a moment of silence, he spoke up.

"Would you have ended our-" he was cut off. "No!" She interjected. Her face heating up. "I wouldn't have. But that's not the point Zaib. You're not like that."

She heard him exhale from the other end. "Zoya, you have no idea how much this means to me. And it's making me feel sick how I haven't been able to win your trust." She listened to him silently with her eyes flooding in tears with every word he uttered.

"If you're really that unsure, we can—we can postpone future plans until you feel like it's appropriate. I don't want you to feel burdened—" she shot up from the bed, her heart reaching up to her throat in anxiety.

"No, no, no! What are you saying? I've been waiting for that day impatiently. Why would you even say that?" She didn't care if this ruined her image or made her seem super desperate.

She wanted him to know.

Zaib fell completely silent. He replied almost in a frustrated tone. "Stop saying stuff like that. Zoya, there's no point if you don't mean it."

Zoya's face was fired up, her eyes wider with agony and her body quivering as if a wave of fury was hitting her all at once. Bilal had never seen such an unpleasant sight and prayed she didn't turn into the Hulk any second.

"I mean every word I say! I have never mistrusted you. I am a huge idiot at times and act according to my stupid feelings. You are the only one I have ever fallen in love with so stop second guessing our relationship and don't postpone our marriage because this-this means everything to me!"

And with that abrupt statement, she shut the call and dropped the phone onto a chair nearby.

Bilal stared, his jaw dropped.

With nostrils flared, she marched away to her room. It came all at once. The realization—the words hit her. Her words—to Zaib.

Zaib.

Her words.

You are the only one I have ever fallen in love with.

The only one—

Love.

Love.

Oh, the clock read, it was time to fall into sleep and hopefully never wake up again.

💜