"Don't touch it ever again you schmuck!" A red faced Zoya wailed as she finally snatched her diary after running behind Bilal from an hour or so.

Bilal stared at her with that sly smirk of his which irritated her to the point of punching the wall with her bare fist. She, however, read the shahadah again in an attempt to calm herself down.

"Zoe, the second page is so cheesy. Like what the hell?" He called her out. Zoya felt her legs tremble with embarrassment.

"You read that!" She yelled out, flooded with insecurity.

Bilal chuckled and nodded following a prolonged sigh from her mouth as she lowered her head. That page... it was about her future husband. Damn it, why hadn't she bunt it years ago!

"Don't be so shy. It's our fitrah as human beings to want a life partner," Bilal mumbled, scratching his head and making the situation even more awkward than it already was.

Zoya didn't dare look up because she already wanted to jump off the highest cliff.

"Alright, I know you feel weird talking to me about this but... we really need to. I'm just saying that it's okay to keep expectations from your future husband and you should be looking forward to that period of your life without any embarrassment," he stated.

Zoya nibbled on her lower lip, feeling her heart race in her throat, trying to jump out. Even her palms had started to fill up with sweat. She gulped down to ease the tightness.

"Are you willing to get married away now?"

Her breathing completely halted. Caught off guard, she looked up, wide eyed. Her desperate gaze noticed the door was swiftly open behind Bilal and she wanted nothing but to run away.

"Zoya, just tell me what's on your mind so I can help you," he spoke out. She felt her brother's sincerity through his kind words. It was better to spill it out now than regret it her whole life.

"I like the idea of a marriage, Bilal."

"But-?" He mumbled.

"But... I feel like we're rushing. I wanna get myself together before putting myself into another massive responsibility. I also still need to finish up with my university. I haven't contacted them yet."

Bilal nodded approvingly. "Don't pressure yourself. When you feel like you're ready, let me know. I'll talk to Baba," he assured with a warm smile.

Zoya nodded feeling content now that someone knew about how she felt. Bilal exited the room, closing the door behind him. Zoya sat in the silence, unmoving. Her eyes flew shut as she laid back on the bed with her hair sprawled over.

She needed to call Ms. Brook today to inform her of the news; not studying cardiology. Zoya sighed heavily. Just thinking of letting her know was doing a number on her.

Ms. Brook was the greatest professors of all time. To Zoya, she was a teacher, a friend and a person who believed in her regardless of Zoya's shortcomings. She always encouraged her to do more and strive to achieve her dreams.

Ms. Brook would be so damn saddened to hear about the news.

It couldn't be delayed longer.

Zoya avoided calling her for days now. There was no point in hiding; she had to come clean. Zoya grabbed her cellphone from under her pillow and dialed the number speedily so she wouldn't be able to stop herself.

Zoya felt her heart dropping with each bell echoing in her eardrums. She was dreading Ms. Brook's reaction.

"Hi Zoe, finally contacted me huh?" Brew out the loud chirpy voice of Ms. Brook.

"As salamu Alaykum. How're you doing Ma'am?" Zoya mumbled, her voice smaller than usual.

"Peace be with you as well! I'm great. You don't seem good though. What's up?" She immediately recognized the resistance within her voice. Ms. Brook was a great observer.

Zoya remained silent, not knowing what to tell her; how to tell her. Zoya nibbled on her lip anxiously and screwed her eyes shut. The only way was to just blurt it out before rethinking her words.

3

2

1

"I'm quitting university."

-:)-

"She really just stopped speaking?" Naimat grabbed a Cheeto from the bag as she dropped into Zoya's beanbag.

"Yeah Naim, I guess she was too shocked so after a minute of silence I just said goodbye and ended the call." Zoya rubbed her forehead in frustration. "Nothing's been going my way these days; sometimes I feel so lost and I honestly don't know how to communicate this empty feeling to anyone. I spent majority of last night in prayer: it's the only thing keeping me on track."

Naimat's eyes softened as she saw a tired Zoya flop onto her bed hopelessly, Zoya wasn't usually the type of person to show her frustration and was very patient but in the end she was human like everyone else and had her weak moments.

"Zoe, like I always say, life's a roller coaster, you have ups and downs, twists and turns, and a LOT of loops. You're just in the loop. Insha Allah, you'll reach the smooth track soon."

Naimat always knew the right things to say. Zoya got up and pulled her best friend into an embrace; these were the times where their sisterhood shone through.

Zoya knew that no matter what happened now, Naimat would be there for her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Allahu Akbar!"

Zoya wandered into the kitchen with Naimat by her side, taking in the scene that was unfolding before her eyes. Her mom was giddy with excitement; her dad was praising Allah; Bilal was doubled over, hysterical in laughter?

Allah, what was happening now?

"Uh, what am I missing out on?" Zoya poured out some water for Naimat and herself, automatically drinking her glass after whispering 'Bismillah'.

She gulped the cold water down. "You have a proposal!" Her mom squealed. "-From Zaib-" Bilal gasped out between his laughter.

The water spouted out of her mouth, flooding onto the table as she gasped for air. She coughed as Naimat thumped her back in reflex reaction.

"W-what did you just say!" She screeched, her eyes widened alarmingly.

"I knew it! Allahuakbar! Zoya I knew he had feelings for you. Oh my god, you can marry him and then I'll be married to his best friend and we can be like best friends marrying best friends and it'll be so cool and amazing and-"

No. What? No. How? He— Zaib? That Zaib?

Her thinking process had turned to shreds. It was like winning a lottery ticket but not having known you applied for it in the first place?

"What— what exactly happened?" She asked, feeling her throat tighten.

"I got a call a few minutes ago and it was Zaib's mother. She told me she was interested in you for her eldest son, Zaib. So she wants to come over later today with her son to see you." Mrs Nadeem smiled widely, narrating the phone call.

Zoya sat on the sofa between her brother and father, too stunned to speak. Naimat had left ten minutes ago, telling Zoya to let her know the 'details' later.

Zoya was in confusion—wait, so it's just Zaib's mother who was interested? That meant, Zaib didn't bring it up. And— weren't they just enemies over Ludo a few nights ago?

Zoya sighed, resting back on the couch. His mother probably didn't tell him anything about this proposal and he'd straight away tell them no as soon as he saw her. A decline on her first proposal ever would just be so great for her self esteem! Note the sarcasm.

Surprisingly enough, her heart was thudding faster thinking of how he was coming to see her as a possible life partner. It felt like the situation was so right, as if Allah wanted it to happen. Everything fit together like scattered puzzle pieces reuniting.

All those coincidental meetings, glances, connections—did they mean something?

Zoya's mind had never been in such a meddle yet a big part of her believed that everything was somehow lain out for her. It was just a strange feeling.

"Zoya, are you listening?" Her trance abruptly ended as Bilal waved his slender fingers in front of her face: why did he get the pretty fingers in the family?

"Can you please repeat that, sorry I zoned out," Zoya sheepishly admitted.

"I was saying that his family is coming to see you tonight. They want to take a decision as soon as possible, so we decided to meet at about 8 PM."

8 PM! That was in one-two-three— three hours! Zoya had three hours to gather her thoughts; three hours to make her decision; three hours to determine her future.

So much for wanting time.

**********

She glanced in the mirror for the twenty fifth time in the past half an hour. How ever did Naimat make it through? She smoothed out her silken cerulean skirt and straightened her hijab one last time.

The past hours had been painful. The first hour, she sat motionless, telling herself repeatedly that she wasn't going to be getting her hopes up; he was going to say no anyways. As soon as the first hour cascaded by, something clicked and she rushed to the bathroom, washing her face and applying the moisturizer.

As much as she wanted to avoid it, she was aware that Zaib was actually an amazing guy, someone she liked without knowing. Deep down, she really desperately wanted him to like her.

Insha Allah, it would work out and lessen her family's burdens. Insha Allah Insha Allah Insha Allah Insha Allah-

Her eyes flitted to the clock, 7:55 PM.

Car doors opened

Car doors slammed shut.

Hushed voices buzzed outside her house.

Ring

They were here.

Her body shifted to panic mode. Blood gushed through her veins ten times faster than usual and her heart beat escalated making her break into a cold sweat. He won't like me. He doesn't have any reason to. He'd never like someone like me— he has no reason to.

Her body's reaction to his presence explained it all. She cared about him. This wasn't okay.

Her thoughts were soon cut off as a soft calling of her mother reached her. It was time. It was time to face him. She gulped to ease the dryness of her throat.

Holding a hand to her chest in an attempt to calm her heartbeat, she gave herself one last glance and made her way down aptly reading 'Bismillah'.

As she descended the steps, the once hushed chatter grew louder. She recognized her mother's voice, her father's, then Bilal and then... Zaib.

-HRH