we sat around for hours just staring at the door. that was before mason suddenly stood and rammed his body into the front door, nearly breaking his bones. "damnit!" zuckles cried, cradling his own body. "i want out!" its been a while since anyone had spoke and all of us pretty much just laid around, staring at the ceiling as we let the time tick by, hoping that maybe someone will notice we aren't answering our phones.

hearing the slight tapping sound, my vision wonders over to cam as he sat upon the floor with his head hanging low whilst his fingernails beat against the flooring. matt's arms hung around me, keeping me safe inside of his embrace. jay sat with his head in his hands whilst swagger sat beside him slowly draining out his juul pod. the lights flicked off and i nuzzled my head into matt's arms, terrified of the darkness that surrounded me. another scream reached my ears, knowing who it belonged to this time. flicking the lights back on, we all gasped and covered our mouthes.

jay laid back in his chair, a blunt force trauma being the cause of death. we all covered our eyes and realization hit the boys like a truck when they realize two of their best friends are dead. who could possibly be next? "this can't be fucking happening, mate!" mason squealed whilst he backed up to the wall behind himself. a candle stick that was smothered in blood plopped down beside jay. swagger jumped out of his seat and pushed matt and i off of the couch with one shove.

"there is no fucking way!" swagger cried out, tucking his head in between his legs as he cradled himself. we all stood in shock as jay just laid their, lifeless. "no way."

"guys-" i couldn't bring my voice out, all that was persuaded itself to come out was a tiny squeak. matt released me and stormed off to the bathroom, not wanting his friends to see him cry. falling to my knees, i remember the couple times jay would pretend to be this character he like to call ainsley. hands found me and pulled me up, taking me into their arms i felt their own tears fall along my back. only they were too tall to be anyone else who sat in this room. my voice wouldn't budge, meaning i was just to stand there and cry my heart out until i was finally out of tears.

"we are so fucked mate!" mason shouts again, slamming his head into the door repeatedly. We all scrambled around, each second becoming more terrifying knowing that it had to be one of us who was the killer. "don't doors usually lock from the inside?" mason whined, pulling at the handle.

fitz pulled back and used his thumb to wipe away the tears that continued to fall. "shhh." he hushed, pulled me close again. i shove myself away and turn to mason. "no, he's right! doors don't lock from the outside!" i sniffed, wiping away the extra tears on cam's sweatshirt. "but-"

"we didn't change the locks?" swagger whispered, coming out of his state of shock. "but it had to have been done beforehand."

"exactly, meaning that it would be someone in-"

"no, none of us did it. we have no reasoning to. you could though! you came out of nowhere and you and matt broke up, which didn't end well, meaning you have perfect motive!" swagger pointed his finger at me, but i wasn't shocked. nobody defended me, they all just stood around and stared at me with somewhat of disapproval.

"i was in matt's arms when it hit jay, and mason was grabbing my arm when the revolver went off and killed toby." they all sighed and looked away, letting their red eyes accuse someone else. "plus, where the hell would i store a gun?"

"aye, people got some strange devices." fitz shook his head and pointed to my leg. "just saying." rolling my eyes, i dismiss the thought and plop back down next to swagger.

"don't be so paranoid, bud." i smile, patting swags thigh. he removed my hand and glared at me, his deep brown eyes burning into mine.

fitz sat beside me, his eyes trailing up the walls and ending their travel at the ceiling. watching him be in focus was mesmerizing. the way he furrowed his eyebrows and how his silver eyes sparkled from the reflection around him. i find myself explaining people far rooted than i originally plan on.

"fitz?" i inquired, turning toward him more. his head shifts and our eyes meet. "you know last night when we talked about what our daydreams often resemble?" he nods, taking in the memories. "when you said how you think about people get the smallest portions of love they could possibly get, what did you mean by that?"

"hmm." he hummed, searching through his mind that was fogged with memories of tonight. "i think of men and women who go for asshole men or woman who abuse the whole meaning of admiration. who treat their significant others like the muck on their shoes while another watches and wished they could help."

"has it happened to you? do you feel that way ever?" my questioned seemed to affect him, causing memories to rise from the past that he hasn't seen in years. i saw the anxiety rise in him as he started to rub his hands on his black jeans, how his eyes closed slightly.

"do you-" he choked and cleared his throat. "do you remember that day when me you and matt went down to the food carts?" nodding, i allowed him to continue.

"do you remember when matt got hostile with you around all those people because you accidentally spilt your drink? do you remember when he stormed off to the car and left us in the carts and we had to walk home by ourselves?" nodding again, my hands now twisted the end of the hoodie i borrowed. "but instead of going home we continued to eat and afterward went to the park and watched youtube on your phone while we laid in the grass?"

"oh of course!" i beamed, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear. "cam-"

"no, don't say anything." he hushed, switching his eyes away from me and turning his head back to stare at the ceiling. "i'm sorry for sharing my past emotions." he spoke, thinking that his last story was better being tacenda instead.

"cam, what's wrong with sharing your feelings?" i inquire, scooting closer to him to gather his attention. "i honestly don't understand why people don't speak their minds as often as they should. tell that person you've fallen for them, tell your mom you love her, tell people what you think. because we only have so much life to live and it would be a shame to keep it all to yourself." we both sat in complete lull after i spoke.

"it's difficult." cam murmured. "because you never know the other persons feelings. what if they don't feel the same, what if they hate you and when you tell them your feelings they are pissed and do something horrible. or what if you have a good relationship you don't want to ruin by being rejected?"

"those are all what ifs, cam. imagine the other people on the other side that are thinking the same way, but they're too frightened to tell anyone? how would their eternal happiness ever be found? you know we learn by mistakes!"

"it's just not that easy, audrey. and watching someone you love fall in love with someone else is alarming. have you felt this pain? have you known that you aren't good enough for someone?" his words sunk deep into my heart. "have you, audrey? does your heart yearn for someone but you know they will never love you back?"

"yes."