Excitement mixed with Dread. Thats the only emotions I could feel bubbling in the pits of my stomach. I pushed myself to slide off of Elijah's lap, which he allowed instantly.

"Where did you find that?" I questioned as I stared at the tattered book in his hand. It was a leather hard book- looking like one of those you get from a book store on a whim to write down your deepest thoughts for therapy. The pages looked to be stained with brown- like coffee had spilled on it several times before.

"It took a long time. Turns out your mother knew something would happen to her." Elijah explained still holding the book up to me. Waiting for me to take it. "I found it in the wreckage of your car."

"My car?" I was confused. The image of my wrecked car in the trees off the cliff flashed in my mind. "She hid it." I clarified. Elijah nodded. "Did you read it?" I didn't want to read it. It felt like an invasion of privacy. Like I would get caught going through her things.

"I wouldn't do that. It's yours to look through." He assured. With a slight shake in my hand, I reached out and took the book. It weighed heavy in my hands, even if it was light. The words were heavy. What did she write? She hid it in my car for me to find- does that mean she wrote to me? She knew she was going to die? "Octavia?" I looked up from the book to look at Elijah.

"Okay." I breathed out. My fingers tightened over the book before another hand came out and slowly pulled it from my hand. Nik's eyes meeting mine when I followed the hand. His eyes holding concern. His fingers lightly brushing along my hand.

"You alright, love?" Nik questioned in a soft voice.

"No." I admitted just as softly. Nik stepped forward and pulled me to his chest. His arms wrapping around me in a warm embrace.

"It's going to be okay. We are all here, right here." Nik whispered into my neck. I felt the trail of wet tears flowing down my cheeks. But I didn't understand really why I was crying.

Was it because of hormones? The fact that my mother knew she would die? Or was it the fact that even in her death, she thought of me?

"How about we take your pizza and watch a movie? All of us- together." Nik voiced, his hand rubbing my back gently. I nodded slowly before pulling back slightly to look at him.

"With popcorn?" I asked in a small voice. I don't even know how my voice came out like that.

"And M&Ms." He agreed, a smile on his lips.

This was when I always felt that fluttering. The warmth of butterflys flapping their wings in my stomach in a huge swarm. Between his cheeky smile to the fact that they knew me so well.

How did I get so lucky?

-

Its the middle of the night. My body curled in between Finn and Nik. Kol was on the floor, having fallen off in his sleep- or kicked off. There was no telling. Elijah had left the room. Probably to go to his study or sleep in an actual bed. I didn't blame him.

The blanket was pulled over us like we were tucked in like children. I was laying on my back, which was odd since I rarely slept like this. But Nik and Finn both had their faces in my neck. Nik's arm around my midriff, while Finn's was lower on my hips.

It took some time to get out from their holds. Finn ending up pulling my pillow to his body. It made me smile to see that he reached for me even in his sleep.

The urge to pee became a distant thought as my eyes landed on the notebook by the bed. The worn out leather holding the stained pages together the best it could.

My mind was blank as I picked it up, not even remembering walking over to it. My fingers lightly tracing over the spots of leather that seemed the most worn.

My mother held this. It was in her possession a lot, it had to be to be this worn. My eyes flickered around to check that the others were still sleeping. A snore coming from the floor where Kol was cuddling a blanket that Elijah must have given him.

Taking a deep and yet shallow breath, I pulled the book open. The pages were more stained than I had thought. Coffee rings and- blood?

Hanging in the car flashed in my head again. The injuries I had- was the book that close to me this whole time? Right under my nose?

My eyes flickered to the first page. A torn out page that had been placed there purposely. The intricate cursive of my mother's hand scattered over the dirty page.

-

The note ended on that. But. But what? My father- he wasn't my father? Then who was he? Who was I?

My stomach flipped in anxiety. My whole life- it was more than a lie. This was more than just one lie now. I thought when I found out I was a Siren that, that was it. That was who I was. What I was. But now-

My mother was the last Siren alive. If that is true- then who is my father? What was he? Did he leave us? Or did my mother run? She did teach me to run my whole life.

Maybe my father is a bad man. Maybe she left for a reason....or maybe he left her. Left us. Me.

Did he know about me? Was that why he left? Did I drive that stake between him and my mother?

Monster.

Homewrecker.

Nothing but a lie.

Nobody wants you. Why would they want someone who wasn't wanted by their own father?

You should just leave.

Run. It's what you're good at. Run and don't look back.

My eyes were slammed shut as the voice echoed through my head. Dizzy and dazed, I turned on my heel to leave. But all I did was slam in the hard body of my mate. Hands grabbing hold of my waist before holding me out to get a good look at me.

"Octavia. Octavia- look at me." My eyes tried to focus on the person but the tears were blurring the lines. I knew who it was though. I always would.

"Elijah." My voice cracked in a desperate attempt to sound normal. But he saw through me. They all did. Always. "It's back." I told jim, honestly.

The voice in my head fading back, as if afraid of the light Elijah was bringing forth. Like a demon concealing itself in the shadows. Waiting for the opportunity to lunge itself onto its prey.

"The voice?" He questioned. I only nodded before letting a sob bubble from my throat. I heard the others waking up at the sound.

I felt defenseless. And yet, in the room with my mates, I felt safe.