I never realised how long comeback promotions went for until now. I must be setting a record for throwing up in the most toilets backstage at music shows ever. 

When there's only half a week of promotions to go, we perform at Music Core. I manage to make it through our three performances, although I get extremely out of breath and feel sick the whole time. And then it's time for the encore stage. 

I feel it as soon as the music starts. A stabbing sensation in my lower stomach. I feel a twinge of panic, but the pain goes away as quickly as it came. I realise I've dropped my smile and pick it up again, making a heart at sea of ARMY Bombs as I hear the crowd chant our names. Jimin has jumped down off the stage to get closer to them, and Jin passes our new trophy to me and joins him. I turn the trophy over in my hand, but before I can read what it says, the sensation comes back. I squint my eyes shut and by the time I open them again, it's gone and Jungkook is by my side. He raises his eyebrows to ask if I'm okay. I start to nod and then, along with a fresh stab of pain, feel something wet and hot. At first I think I'm peeing, but then I look down and see a crimson stain beginning to form on my pants. I drop the trophy and it shatters. Then everything flips and I'm on the floor. And then I'm being carried offstage. And then I pass out.

~

When I wake up I'm in a hospital bed. I have an oxygen mask on, something is pricking my arm and one of my hands feels very warm.

"He's awake," Jungkook says hoarsely from where he sits to my right, holding my hand in both of his.

April hurriedly straps down whatever she was pricking my arm with and meets my eyes. She watches me in silence for a little while and then tenderly removes my oxygen mask.

"How are you feeling?" she asks.

"Tired," I reply.

"Is anything hurting?"

"No."

"Wonderful."

I turn my head to see Jungkook's face. "What happened?"

"You collapsed on stage. I picked you up and carried you off as fast as I could, and then I saw you were bleeding. I don't know how many other people did," he says, still gripping onto me and now stroking my hand with his thumb.

"I was sure you had a miscarriage, but that baby is a strong one. Still there, nice and healthy." April smiles at me. I release a breath I didn't realise I'd been holding. "You have a condition called placenta praevia. It means your placenta has implanted itself very low down on the uterine wall. The bleeding is generally painless and happens after the twenty week mark— but as this is a carrier pregnancy it's a little different. You need to stay on strict bedrest for a couple of months, and definitely no more performances." She shakes her head. "I wish they had just listened to me and not let you get onstage in the first place. Ridiculous."

I only half listen to what she says, still feeling out of it. "How much longer do I have to stay here?"

"Not long, just until your blood levels are back to normal. You lost a lot," April says, then begins to make her way out of the room. "I'll be back soon to check on you."

She leaves, and a silence falls upon us. I can't think of anything to say. I'm still in shock.

Finally, Jungkook speaks. "I'm so glad you're okay." He grips my hand tighter. "I was scared."

"It happened so fast," I mumble. "I'm sorry."

"Why?"

"I'm just making everything so difficult." A lump rises in my throat.

Jungkook then moves one of his hands to stroke my hair, and kisses my forehead.

"Don't beat yourself up. It's not your fault. I just want you to be okay. I know these past few weeks have been awful for you, but you're going to be feeling so much better now that you can just stay in bed."

I nod. "It's still just really weird. You know, trying to wrap my head around the fact that I'm pregnant. Like there's really a baby. I just hope I'm doing this right."

Before Jungkook can respond, there's a knock on the door, and Jimin pokes his head in.

"Are we interrupting?" he asks.

"No, come in," I say.

Jimin walks in, followed by Yoongi, who closes the door behind them.

"Look who's finally starting to believe you," Jimin says, nudging Yoongi.

Yoongi ignores the comment and takes a seat on the other side of my bed. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," I tell him. "What are the fans saying? Are there any videos?"

"The official footage cut off when you collapsed," Jimin answers. "There's some videos and photos going around of Jungkook carrying you off. You can't really see the blood. Everyone is really worried about you."

"It's good Jungkook got you offstage so quickly. You bled out all over the floor once you were in the wings," Yoongi says.

I shudder. "How much did I bleed?"

"Way too much." Jungkook shakes his head. "We were terrified."

"We all ran offstage when we saw. We'll probably get scolded for that," Jimin says. "So what's happening now? Are they finally letting you stop performing? Dr Sykes was having a very angry phone call with Bang Sihyuk."

"Dr Sykes?" I ask.

"April," Jungkook says.

"Oh, right. I forgot. Yeah, I'm not going to be performing anymore. Apparently I just need to lie in bed for a couple of months."

"I wish I could lie in bed too," Yoongi grumbles.

We talk to Jimin and Yoongi for a bit longer before they leave. Sejin comes and tells Jungkook to leave as well, but Jungkook refuses. At the end of the day I'm discharged. As I'm getting changed I look down at my stomach, and for the first time I can see a tiny bump there.