-

Jungkook stares down at the hospital bill with furrowed eyebrows and downturned lips. He exhales raggedly and runs a hand through his hair, tugging at the ends to relieve the tension that's infesting his head.

"Hyung?" A small voice calls out from the doorway. Jungkook looks up to see his brother standing at the doorway of his bedroom.

"Seonnie?"

The boy blinks and rubs his sleepy eyes before trotting over to the bed. "Hyung still awake?"

Jungkook gives him a small smile. "Yeah. I have some work to do so I'm staying up a bit late."

Seonjin frowns. "But Hyung doesn't work anymore?"

Jungkook nods. "It's-uhm- it's a different type of work." He says while looking down at the bills in his hands.

The younger nods and scoots a bit closer towards Jungkook. "C-Can I sleep here tonight?" he asks, his eyes big and pleading.

Jungkook looks down at his brother's small face and reaches out to caress his soft hair "Sure you can. Hard to sleep by yourself?"

The boy nods, his lips pouting out a little. "I-I keeps having scary dreams." He snuggles closer to Jungkook and rests his head onto his lap. He's silent for a moment before he mumbles in a quieter voice. "...about mama."

Jungkook pauses his hand and looks down at the boy, his face dropping into a sad frown. "S-She'll be okay, Seonnie. We'll be okay."

Seonjinlooks up, his big eyes filled with questions and his face scrunched with too much worry for his age. The sight jabs at Jungkook's aching heart and he has to look away. He trails his eyes back onto the bills in his hands and sighs.

Jungkook has no job, no income, no backup plan yet he has the entire weight of his family in his hands. He closes his eyes and brings his hand up to rub at his temples, attempting to relieve his throbbing headache.

"Can you come back? To work."

The question rings in his head, playing on repeat like a broken record. He know's he has to make a decision soon... Jungkook opens his eyes and looks over at his brother's resting figure, noticing the way the younger firmly grips onto Jungkook's shirt. He places his hand on top of the smaller one and sighs for the umpteenth time... But maybe that decision has already been made for him.

-

There's something about work that Taehyung finds akin to drowning. Like a harsh tidal wave, conquering over you before you know it, swallowing you whole and pulling you into these depths that your body cannot withstand. The waves of stress, the weight of work, the flood of responsibilities that lays in Taehyung's hands is similar to that very sensation of drowning. It pulls him in, deep, strikes him with a force that leaves his body vulnerable and tires him down with the burdens of his past. Suffocation doesn't describe the raw burn in his lungs as he tries so hard to catch a breath, to catch a goddamn break. Taehyung is drowning, drowning, drowning in this misery he calls work and there seems to be no escape. And so he simply accepts his fate. Because perhaps drowning in his work is better than resurfacing into his bleak reality.

Taehyung replies to another email from a client about the delay of the car he is releasing. The car that he no longer owns rights to because that scum of a man stole it from him. He chuckles bitterly as an intrusive thought enters his mind. Who exactly is the real scum, Grey Park or his own damn brother?

He reaches out and grabs a cigarette, his hand slightly shaking from the lack of sleep and the lack of food he's had in the past few days. He lights up the stick and brings it closer to his mouth but pauses when he hears a knock on the door.

He scowls, figuring it's probably one of his staff coming to run him up on a few reports. Some bullshit data about how the company is falling apart. "I'm busy right now, come back later." He lets out gruffly.

He takes a long drag from his cigarette and shifts his attention back onto his laptop but is interrupted by another knock at the door.

"I said I'm busy!" He lets out lowly. Whoever is on the other side is really testing his patience. Before he can even think about going back to work, there is another knock at the door. Taehyung grits his teeth and abruptly stands from his chair. He strides over to the door while fuming, mentally promising himself to fire whoever is on the other side.

"I told you I'm bu-" his breath hitches when he realises who's standing there. He stares at the boy with widened eyes before breathlessly muttering out his name, "Jungkook."

Jungkook stares at the older for a moment before averting his gaze. They stand there in silence for a while before Jungkook lets out a small breath and speaks. "You asked me to come back to work."

Taehyung nods eagerly. "Yeah, I-I did, I-"

"To be honest," Jungkook says while looking up at the older. "After everything that happened I didn't really want to come back here."

Taehyung deflates at that. "O-Oh. Yeah. I...I understand. If you don't want to work here that's fine..."

"But..." the younger hesitates. "But I don't really have a choice."

Taehyung frowns, opening his mouth to ask him what he means but the younger continues before he can. "And so... if you're offer still stands...I'd...I'd like to work here again."

Taehyung is silent for a moment, a bit stunned. He blinks a few times as he tries to process the situation before he's quickly nodding his head.

"Y-Yeah," he breathes out while stepping aside to let the boy in. "Yeah, Jungkook. That would be great actually. I...I really need you here." I need you. In more ways than one.

Jungkook looks at him for a second and gives him a brief nod. Taehyung can feel that the air between them is tense, is awfully awkward. Unlike how it used to be.

"Uh, so...so how've you been-"

"Mr Kim, is there anything that you'd like me to start working on right now. It would be ideal for me if I could start work immediately," the younger interjects, staring up at Taehyung. It takes Taehyung back a little, noticing the way the younger is now much more straightforward with him. He wonders if the shift in his personality was progress he never noticed or if it is simply a consequence of his given circumstances.

Taehyung gestures over towards his desk, "yeah. I mean, I already have samples of your timetable ready. I'll get them to you soon. Currently, I need to reschedule meetings with several investors now that the car is no longer on for sale."

Jungkook nods. "I'll email all the clients and send them apology gifts."

Taehyung watches as Jungkook trots over towards his old desk, which is now clear of everything but his desktop. He takes a seat in his chair and pulls out his own laptop. Taehyung opens his mouth, feeling the needs to say something, to speak. But what exactly should he say? Maybe he could apologise? Start with a sorry. But something in him tells him now's not the time. Not when Jungkook is being so...distant?

He's being professional. Taehyung tries to reassure himself. But then that little voice is the back of his head pipes in. Jungkook's always been professional but he's never been cold. Never distant. He's never been one to stare Taehyung in the eye and interrupt him. It's clear that Jungkook is upset with him.

Taehyung looks at his shoes and let's out a small sigh. Why is it that he always messes up with everyone important in his life? How did he end up hurting the only person that might have cared?

~

Jungkook didn't expect the shift back into his work life to be so easy but as he sits there and types away emails to a few clients, he realises that nothing's changed. Well, not much at least. He glances up at Taehyung and notices the man's creased brows. Jungkook's always been observant of Taehyung and his moods and now is no different. It's easy to tell that the older is stressed. It's evident in the way he tugs at his hair as he works, in the way he reaches for a cigarette a little too often, in the way he leans back and exhales deeply every now and then.

In the few months that Jungkook worked here, he realised, much to his surprise, that Taehyung is not very good at handling stress. A man of such strong will, yet he crumples under the pressure of his work. To the world, Taehyung is always a strong force to be reckoned with but behind closed doors, stress is the stealthy mistress that pursues Kim Taehyung. Taehyung used stress as a form of self destruction, indulging in its fine disturbance and lathering his entire body with the misery it paints. And Jungkook has always felt worried about the older's escapades with stress. Even now, with a pool of conflicting emotions swirling inside of him, he feels that ever-present sense of worry as he observes the older.

Taehyung reaches for his drawer and Jungkook thinks he's going to grab his cigarettes again but this time he pulls out a bottle of pills instead. Anxiety tablets.

Jungkook stares at him for a moment before sighing. He looks down at the file he's been working on, contemplating for a moment on what to do.

~

"Sir," Taehyung looks up, almost in surprise, when the younger finally approaches him. Hope blooms inside of him as those round eyes fixate on him. Is Jungkook finally willing to clear the air?

Jungkook hands him a folder. "I found a legal clause in the ownership documents that we could use to sue the other company."

Taehyung looks down at the folder in surprise. "You- I already got my lawyers to look through all the contracts...how did you."

"They looked through all the design and manufacture laws but not the actual ownership laws."

Taehyung frowns. "But we never got any document claiming proper ownership of the car..."

Jungkook stares at him for a moment, passing on a knowing look. Taehyung gapes. "...The blueprint," he says breathlessly.

Jungkook nods. "We still have the signed dated version of the original blue print, we could use that."

Taehyung leans back in his chair, marvelled. "Ju-Jungkook that's brilliant. How did you even think of this?"

Jungkook looks down at the floor, looking a little awkward. "I learnt it when I was minoring in my law degree."

Taehyung shakes his head in disbelief and astonishment. How did Jungkook manage to figure out this situation in a matter of hours when Taehyung's been trying for weeks. It only reminds Taehyung once again of how capable Jungkook is. Of how capable he has always been.

Taehyung sighs and leans back in his chair. "Jungkook. I don't even know what to say. You're amazing, really. I...I really..."

Jungkook cuts him off, looking a little uncomfortable with the praise. "It's okay, sir. I was just doing my job. Is there anything else you would like me to do?"

Taehyung falters a little at that. Talk to me. "Uh...no..no there isn't. You can leave early today since I haven't sorted out your business documents yet. Just...thanks for coming back. I really needed this." I really needed you.

Jungkook nods almost dismissively and then heads back to his desk to grab his stuff. He doesn't really spare Taehyung another look before he exits the room, closing the door to leave Taehyung in silence with his own thoughts.

Taehyung feels this hollowness in his chest as he stares at the closed door and lets out a ragged sigh. Jungkook had always been good to him, has always supported him when things got too rough, had always been a warm presence that stood by his side. He had been the fool to push him away so carelessly. To hurt the boy who had done nothing but care for him. He shakes his head while running a hand through his hair. Taehyung's always been good at that; Losing those who mean the most to him.

~

Jungkook lets out a little exasperated breath as he enters his home. He's greeted by Brianna who smiles at him warily.

"How'd it go?" She asks carefully.

He shrugs. "It was fine. Nothing much happened." Jungkook isn't really in the mood to talk. He feels tired. So so tired.

She bites on the inside of her cheek for a moment, contemplating.

Jungkook sighs and takes a seat from across her. "What's wrong?"

She looks up, a small frown on her face. "The hospital called today and informed me that they have increased the dosage of your mother's medicine. They say her condition is worsening by the day."

Jungkook sits there silently and takes it in. It feel like he's been hearing it for years. The news of his mother getting more sick by the day. It still sends a hard punch to his gut regardless of how often he hears it. He's just learnt to mask the pain better.

"I'll go see her tomorrow after work." He says, letting out a small breath.

She looks up at him almost sadly. "How are you feeling, Kook?"

He gently smiles at her concerned tone, "I'm coping." The lie slips past his tongue easily. He wouldn't exactly consider bottling all his emotions up and going about his day like everything's fine as "coping". But it places a name to other's concern well enough.

She nods. "If you need anything..."

Jungkook shakes his head. "You've done enough, Bri. Thank you."

She sighs and stands up, brushing off her pants. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

He nods, offering her a small tired smile. He listens to her leave through the door and sighs while staring down at his hands.

What went wrong? He asks himself silently. He lets the question hang in the air and briefly wonders to himself who it's directed to. Himself? His mother? Taehyung? Maybe he's asking this whole damned world, what the hell went wrong. When did his life start tumbling down that steep hill of misfortune. Was it the first time his so-called father stepped into his life? Maybe it started when he first kissed a boy. Maybe it was when his mum turned ill. Whatever it was, it's slowly killing Jungkook. A miserable burn of anguish, pain and heartache, churning in the chamber of his heart and turning the organ bitter.

All he wants in his life is to feel love, to be loved and to give love without restrain tugging the emotion down. But as life goes on and the days get more tiresome, as responsibilities weigh him down and promises diminish into nothing but plain words, the notion of love slowly wears thin into a bleak dream in the back of his mind. Maybe love and loving just isn't his thing.

He stares down at the array of bills splayed out across the coffee table, his eyes landing on one of his mum's medical bills. Love is comforting in a sickening way. It gives you temporary warmth and solace, it cradles you in gentle hands while hiding the sharp claws it has, it's a momentary feeling of everything and a sudden sensation of nothing. His mother is the first person he's ever loved and now that very emotion, the feeling that once had him smiling and feeling comfort in her presence has turned into mournful longing. Painful, anxious waiting. Dread. Love burned in his heart like the memory of her sick body laying in the hospital bed. It's times like this where he almost feels betrayed by how twisted the emotion is. But in a way it makes sense doesn't it?

Because after all, red is the colour of love. It's always been a clear warning sign.

~

Taehyung looks up when Jungkook enters the room. He waits, staring at him. Jungkook looks at him, barely, and gives him a small nod of acknowledgement before trailing over to his desk. Taehyung looks down at his hand, feeling his heart drop once again. These past few days he would watch Jungkook enter his office and wait for that cheery "good morning" he would normally give, but it never came. Jungkook doesn't exactly ignore him, but the way he talks to Taehyung borders closely to a stranger. Taehyung can't help but feel a little helpless.

He tried to start a conversation with him, had made an effort to talk to him but Jungkook would barely acknowledge his attempts. In a way, their relationship has resorted to what it was originally meant to be. Just a boss and his secretary.

Taehyung unconsciously trails his eyes over to the boy to watch him work. Jungkook silently types away on his laptop, seemingly oblivious to his stare.

"Jungkook," Taehyung calls out. The boy looks up, his eyes still big and round, despite the slight bags underneath them.

"Yeah?"

They stare at each other for a moment, Taehyung's eyes gleaming, desperate, reaching out. Jungkook just stares. Void. Taehyung opens his mouth, wanting to say something. Wanting to say a lot. Please stop ignoring me. I'm sorry. I regret it. I miss you. I need you. "I..." he looks away. "Nevermind."

Jungkook simply nods. Taehyung sighs.

~

12:09 pm

Brianna: Hey, the doctor called me in the morning. Apparently your mum had a few complications last night and they still haven't figured out what's wrong. She's stable now. I'm at the hospital. Come down after work, yeah?

Jungkook: Yeah, I will. Text me when they figure out what happened.

Jungkook exhales shakily and places his phone down. It's going to be fine. He looks down at his hands. It's going to be fine.

"Jungkook, it's your lunch break. You can go eat." Taehyung informs. Jungkook looks up.

Taehyung frowns. "You okay?" He asks, when his eyes fall on the younger's worried expression.

Jungkook quickly shakes off his thoughts and nods. "Yeah," he mutters. "And it's okay, I'll skip lunch for today. I'm not very hungry."

Taehyung eyes the boy carefully before he nods.

~

"Jungkook?"

The boy looks up, a little startled.

"Did you get what I said?" Taehyung asks.

The boy nods. "Uh, yeah. You want me to fax these over to the analytics department?"

Taehyung nods. Jungkook turns to walk back to his desk. "Hey, are you sure you're good? You look..."

Jungkook nods, a forced smile filtering onto his lips, one that doesn't reach the pool of conflict within his eyes. "Yeah. I'm fine."

Taehyung watches the boy trot back to his desk and furrow his eyes.

Jungkook looks down at his phone, biting his lip.

1:20 pm

Brianna: Hey, Seonnie is supposed to go camping for school this weekend. Have you signed those permission forms? He also needs a new sleeping bag.

1:45 pm

Had to pick Seonnie up from school early. He's feeling unwell. Still no update on you mum yet, btw.

1:55pm

Update from the doctor. They got her tests back and there are some abnormalities in her blood.

"Jungkook?" The boy jumps at his name being called.

He put his phone down. "Sorry."

Taehyung furrows his eyebrows. "No, that's alright. It's just, are you sure you o..."

Before he can even finish, Jungkook is nodding his head. "Yeah, sorry I was on my phone."

Taehyung stares at the boy carefully for a moment longer before sighing and exiting.

~

It's an odd gut feeling. A dreadful wave of knowing. Accepting. Clothed in denial denial denial. A heart beat that's skipped, ringing in his head. Alarm bells. Warning signs. Heart rate increases. The gut feeling expands, its a heavy cold sensation. The colour black. The feeling of black. Not emptiness. Not quite that. Yet the absence of something. It's frightful. And even before Jungkook get's the phone call he knows. He knows. But denial denial denial. It's that cursed denial that leaves him wrecked.