I was home early, earlier than usual. Maddie wasn't even home yet. Taking off my shoes and hanging my jacket on the door. I set the book on my table, with my phone by it. I slipped into something comfortable. Switching off the lights to make the room dim. I had to call my mom.

I called her every Wednesday and engaged in meaningless conversation so she could send me my allowance. It's wrong...I know, but our relationship is quite complicated.

"Hey mom"

"Hey pumpkin, how was your day", My mum called in her exited voice.

"It was good mom". I tried to keep our conversations short and sweet, telling her everything she wanted to hear.

"Have you talked to your Dad yet", My mum questioned, she knows I hate talking about him.

"I haven't got to it Mom". I wail.

"Eva I cant keep doing this with you, talk to your damn father, because people are gonna start saying that I brainwashed you to hate him, not knowing what he did to us".

"Fine mom", I roll my eyes. I'm nineteen if people still question me getting brainwashed at this age you know its my dad and not me.

"So pumpkin any boys", she asked eagerly. "No not really".

"Don't you get lonely babe".

"First of all no I don't, I have Maddie, and second of all the guy I like can't like me back", I hint, being reminded of Tom.

"He has a girlfriend doesn't he", My mom groans.

"No, it's nothing never mind".

"Whatever you say pumpkin...I have to go now, Chris is taking me on a date".

Chris, that bastard. Chris is my dads brother. When my dad was still a hard addict his brother would always come to the house and comfort me and my mom. Soon and after the divorce I would catch him and my mom making out in the kitchen. And on late nights after dinner, when they were drunk he would fuck her in their room. My dads room.

They would often get drunk together and one night when they had finished boning each other. He came into my room. Waking me up and telling me how much he loved me. Forcing me to sit on his lap and then he hold my face and kiss me. The taste of the beer lingered around my lips and I never got over it. That's why I don't drink beer to this day, and I try to stay away from alcohol. Because every thing triggered me. I did't tell my mom though, Chris made her 'happy', and she deserved to be happy. But I am so tired of putting other people first that I forget to put myself first.

I lay on my bed for a while contemplating to start on my poem project, briefly remembering the piece of paper that held Toms number. Getting the book from my table I sat on my bed flipping to the page. Taking my phone and dialing the number, not calling it, but saving it. As a simple 'Tom'. A smile formed against my lips. Do I text him now, or do I masturbate to the thought of him...I mean, I am alone.

I text Tom a short "hi".

In lowercase letters, to let him know Im congenial. Dropping my phone I lay on my back stretching to see if the door was locked. It was. I slid off my underwear, throwing it to the floor. Taking in a breath and shutting my eyes. Breathing through my mouth. Unbuttoning my dress shirt, leaving my chest exposed. Carefully dragging my hands along my breast, and rolling my nipple in between my fingers. I let out a moan. Imagining Tom was next to me, kissing my neck and my gaped mouth. He was going down on me, kissing my thighs and biting it softly as I maneuvered his head In between my legs, slowly grinding against his face. I needed him. Letting out soft moans I slipped my fingers in and out of me sliding my fingers against my clit. Groaning at my wetness. Letting out soft muffled moans of Tom's name. Briskly I was distracted by my phones pinging.

Speak of the devil. It was Tom. He replied, "Hello Eva", I was hesitant to reply being struck by the fact I was masturbating to him and he just so knew to text me.

"How did you know it was me" I reply, my eyes fluttering open drunkenly from the orgasm I cut short, basically edged myself.

"That's a good question...my book helped didn't it".

I laughed sitting up.

"How did you know I gonna pick it up".

"If I told you that wouldn't be so peculiar off me...would it". He knew what he was doing to me. He knew the power he had over me. And so I sat there naked talking to him laughing at each others jokes.

"Can I take you to dinner Eva, that is if you don't mind". I read the text, and reread it again. Holding my breath.

"Today? It's kinda late".

One thing my mother told me was always to make the man wait...let him chase you. We concluded on a dinner date on Friday and I had to kept in my excitement.

"I have to go now, bye Tom".

"Goodnight Eva".

I let out a heavy breath, falling into my pillow. It kinda felt strange to carry on with masturbating to him after our talk. I don't know whats happening to me, but in a weird way I'm happy about it, I'm happy with the butterflies he gives me, Im happy with our inside jokes, Im happy I met Tom.