He puts his hand lightly over mine and his fingers weave into mine, and then his arms encircled around my waist. We pull closer together—forming a warm shield against the approaching winter wind, against the pitiless reality.

It is different than our first one; it was full of passion, sorrow, guilt, and what shouldn't be. What couldn't be. What will never be.

"I'm sorry," I repeated once we pull apart.

His lucid blue eyes look away in pain. His fingers departed from mine and the arm loosened from my body before taking slow steps backwards.

"You're a cruel person," he said. "You don't love me. You simply pity me, too, but you don't understand. You say you want to help me, but you wouldn't want Otto to disappear too. Your pretty words are only false hope. Even what you said about dandelions. They die so easily. Why didn't you say that?"

He looked at me. I didn't have an answer.

He turned away. This time he walked away calmly, no longer running nor escaping. He's leaving everything behind. This time I can no longer chase after him.

I raised my hand—the hand he held—to my cold cheeks. The tears trickle down my hand and ironically, they feel warm.

It was wrong of me to have done that. It wouldn't being us eternal happiness, only a moment of ecstasy, and ecstasies end abruptly, like falling from a great height.

And he was right. I didn't truly love him. I didn't know whether I wanted Oscar to live, or Otto. If I had truly loved him, why couldn't I give Otto up?

But there were things about Oscar that I couldn't forget. The way he stopped when he chased me. The way he believed in me enough to have a talk. He showed me his room, his past, his hidden scars. He let me have the couch. The coat he put on me. The way he he waited for me to catch up. The conversation at the fountain.

"You're a good sister...Weeds. Aren't they just unloved flowers?"

The way he kissed me. It wears tender. It wasn't like before. He had wanted love too, someone to understand him, to care for him.

I fell to my knees in the dirt, sobbing.

And I had given him false hope this whole time.

I cried for Oscar's life, I cried for Otto's confusion, for Oda's determination, Aideen's obedience, for Oriana and her father, for Annabelle and her mother, and for Catalina's black world.

I cried for The Dandelion System, the cruel system that brought so much pain—that brought us all together.

It was only after the sky had darkened that I went back to the dorms. I stood at the door to my dorm room, fingers poised before the doorknob. I couldn't imagine what they would say when they saw me. I had been in the forest all day, and I was numb from the winter air. My skin felt tight on my face, and I knew tear stains were still on my face.

They would be worried sick. Aideen didn't even sleep last night because she was so worried for me; she didn't deserve the worry caused by my selfishness, and so didn't Oriana and Chana. Not wanting to waste another minute, I opened the door.

The second they turn their heads to see me, all three pair of eyes widened and the three girls stood up, Oriana rushing to my side.

"What happened?" Her eyes flickered to my face and my dress. I looked down and see mud caked on it, the fabric ripped, and the petticoat showing through. I stayed silent.

"Come now," Annabelle holds my arm and gently guides me to the washstand. Aideen, who stayed silent, diligently dabs at my face with a water-soaked cloth. It burned my sore skin, and I winced.

When she finished wiping my face, she took my hand and lead it to the basin. I shook my head and pull my hands away.

"Why?" she asks.

It was the hand Oscar had held.

There was a moment of silence before Annabelle places her gloved hand on Aideen's shoulder. She got the message and withdrew her hand from mine.

"Have a good rest," Oriana said.

"Eat the tart if you don't feel like going to dinner. Oriana and I will tell them you aren't feeling well." Annabelle added. I nodded wearily. They walk out the door while glancing back at me.

When the door closed, Aideen proceeded to letting down my hair, and then helping me unbutton the back of my dress. I was glad for the silence, and the fact that Aideen, unlike Oda, never interrogated me.

"Were they waiting for me this whole time?" I asked. She nodded and opened her mouth, as to ask a question, but stoped. Instead, she takes out my nightgown, and I step into it.

"Do you wish to sleep now? You'll miss dinner."

"It's fine."

"If you wake up later on, eat the tart they brought for you. Should I tell Oda to leave you alone today?" I think for a moment, then nodded. I didn't want to see Oda. She reminded me too much of him.

"Thank you." I mustered a weak smile at her before she leaves. I blew out the last lamp before laying on my bed, thinking carefully about everything.

If I do win The Dandelion System, Oda would send me and my family away to another kingdom. If that happens, I won't be able to see Prince Otto anymore.

Or Oscar.

Meanwhile, Otto, or Oscar, would not be married off, because it was promised that the victor of the Dandelion System would become his wife. But then again, it was the tradition for princes to marry at eighteen. What if they allowed the second victor of the Dandelion System to become his wife? Then everything we do would be for naught.

More importantly, what will happen then to the kingdom? What will happen to the Royal family? Otto is not made to be a ruler; he is weak and fragile. Even worse would be Oscar. Other than the two princes, they have no other male heirs. Maybe in the end, Queen Sonota would rule. Taraxac has never had a female ruler, but it would certainly be better than Otto or Oscar.

There was also something that bothered me about the Royal family. If they can erase and pretend Oscar never existed, who was to say they won't find a way to lock Oscar if he takes over Otto's body permanently, then tell the public he died?

Also, The Dandelion System is an enigma. Oda said the Queen thought of this system. Is there more to The Dandelion System than what meets the eye?

I didn't want to win anymore. I didn't want to be sent away, and never be able to come back and see Oscar. But then again, I had no guarantee I would win. The Queen and her contestant have a lot more seeds. If the lady she chooses is intelligent, she might be able to rule.

The thought hit me suddenly, and I sat up in bed.

A lot of kings in history were guided through hard times by their wives. Why couldn't Otto, or Oscar's future wife do most of the planning behind the scenes? I'm sure that's what the Queen wants. Her contestant is plain, not outstanding, but most certainly smart. I clutched my chest, which had started to ache.

What about me, then?

But I'm not important. I should gladly sacrifice myself for the kingdom. And Oscar. Even if he takes over Otto's body, if a compromise is made between him and Queen by marrying the winner, he can live his life life he wanted. He didn't love me. No matter what, we can't be together.

If it came down to it, I will betray Oda and let Oscar marry who the Queen wants.

Oscar will finally be able to fulfill his lifelong wish, he would be able to live in Otto's body—live once again.

So maybe, I think as I lay down again, the pain numb now—maybe this is the correct choice.