"Finally, it's relatively clean..."

You spent about your whole evening wiping off dried blood from your precious spray guns. It took about a bucket and a half full of water and bleach, but now they look as good as new - though, a hint of red could be seen on the base and muzzle of the gun. It only took until nighttime.

What a pain... Stupid Cicin Mage... Thinking she's at my level, what a joke.

Sitting in your room with your butt on the floor as you admired your work, you looked at each weapon if there were any more stains that needed to be cleaned. Other than that, they were just to your minimum liking. A small smile on your face showed how much you missed using them, you looked no more innocent than a girl playing with her dolls.

"Pew..." You fired a pretend shot at the closet, aiming lazily. "Wooosh... What... you hate the cold...? Good."

Luckily for you, no one was here to interrupt your little childish play here. It felt nice to reminisce every now and then. You continued to indulge yourself in the glory days when you would shoot anything that moved and even say a snarky catchphrase in the middle of it. Those were the days...

"I'm so bored."

In the middle of it all, you remembered all the good things you could no longer have. Every single day with Scaramouche was filled with excitement. Debt collections were like errands. Arrests were almost like immature roleplay. Meetings were filled with playful kicks and nudges under the table. Training...

For some reason, your thoughts came to a stop. You found yourself carelessly scratching the back of your head with the muzzle of your gun as you tried to finish off whatever it was you were trying to remember. Whatever it was, it was probably not worth thinking about.

You wished you noticed it sooner. You wished that you noticed those empty holes in your memories. It was difficult to place yourself in society as the good or bad part. There are no such things as good Fatui members.

Then, you begin to imagine a vaguer you, narrowing yourself down to a woman and Scaramouche a simple man.

A woman without her man is nothing.

How about...

A woman, without her, man is nothing.

So, that's how it is.

"Oh, my Lord Scaramouche... You should have stopped me from leaving."

Why am I like this? It's always been this way, you always pinned the blame on other people. Will you ever learn? He did try to stop you from leaving, it was all the Traveller's fault. Enticing you with her empty promises and wonderful sounding words. Scaramouche's words were only the painful truth, yet you still wanted to get away from that.

You thought you could be safe if you left with the Traveller, but your problems were never really solved anyway. As you said to Childe before, Lumine must have had other people like you before. How you foolishly entrusted this stranger with your life is beyond anyone's understanding. It was a hook and sinker, like a fish you were snatched from the water and dragged along a perilous journey leading to no sanctuary.

At this point, you slowly made up your mind, you weren't a good person, you never were. After being told that you were only forced to follow outrageous orders made you feel so out of touch with reality. You were sure that you had full control over your actions - full control of your thoughts when committing such violent arrests.

Who had the right to tell you that you were the victim? If anything, you were probably the accomplice to your own destruction.

More questions than answers, as always...

While pondering about your life, you ever so slowly began piecing together the puzzles of your life. What were you like before the Fatui? It seems like the military has become your other half ever since you joined them. There were the occasional instances when you would go home for a visit, but it would only be for a short while. You barely saw your brother after he was kicked out, you weren't even sure if you could recognize your own mother - let alone your father.

Blinking slowly and sighing softly, your fingers ran over the gun in your lap. It was the one that you used in your right hand. You lost count as to how many times you powered up, aimed, and even ended lives with this weapon. Without a shadow of a doubt, you were a killer. If you weren't protected by your Fatui title, you would have been called a filthy murderer instead.

All of a sudden, your ears pricked up. There was a light knock on your window, the sound was faint and timid.

It must be Xingqiu.

You figured that it would be rude to have your weapons laying on the ground so messily, so you carefully slid them under your bed to hide them for now. Xingqiu probably wouldn't find it very lady-like of you to be handling your spray guns with such carelessness and little to no regard if you were going to hurt someone - or yourself.

You stood up from the floor and used your foot to nudge your closet door so it would shut on its own. Awkwardly, your arms folded together to loosely cover your chest, you at least wanted to get a few bonus points to make yourself look at least a bit presentable for the nobleman.

"Please come in, Xingqiu."

When the window was opened, at the last second, you looked back down at the floor out of shame once again. Wind blew into your room, the moon presented itself shamelessly, the shadow of a man was spread along the wooden floorboards. He was motionless.

"I have something to tell you... It's about your friend..." You finally glanced upwards and immediately, you felt something go through your heart, stopping you mid-sentence.

"Thinking about me, Fatui girl?"

His stare was empty, yet the sight of you with your mouth ajar and eyes widened like sharp saucers, made him chuckle a little. Instead of seeing the usual cold, brooding expression he would have on his face, the exorcist was on the fence between being livid and inflamed.

You were startled to see Chongyun sitting against the windowsill so casually like he had been experienced with visiting you nightly. With a leg up and an arm hanging lazily over his knee, he seemed to be rubbing something between his thumb and finger.

"I've been thinking about you too. I wonder what kind of things I could buy with ten million Mora or the places I can go...?" He spoke with a small smile on his face. "It would be nice to become a millionaire overnight. I can finally give my family the financial comfort that they deserve. As for me, I'll put more thought into it..."

"Why are you here?" Your demanding tone did you no justice as Chongyun took that as an implication of a challenge.

"I decided to drop by to ask what you and Xingqiu are hiding from me?" He returned the stern attitude right back at you and then frowned when you began to shake your head.

"We are not hiding anything from anyone... and I'm sure I didn't tell him about the bounty."

"Oh, I know you didn't tell him about the bounty because I told him right after I caught him sneaking in and out of your room. It's not the Fatui's bounty that I'm worried about, it's that you might have told my friends that I was involved with a lady named Bao'er."

As painful as it was to know that Chongyun really did plan your demise all this time, you thought back to how kindly Xingqiu treated you. It seemed like the time that Xingqiu snuck into your room, he had no clue about the bounty. Early today, he was nowhere to be found, possibly trying to distance himself from you. You wouldn't be surprised if Xiangling knew about the bounty before you even told her.

"Not talking, huh? Well, I just want to let you know about another thing I found out. Yanfei told me about the warrant issued by the Millelith - for your arrest... But one hundred thousand Mora is nothing compared to ten million." Chongyun let his voice get carried away at the mention of the millions of Mora, eyes gleaming with a touch of mischief. "I'm not a greedy person, Fatui girl... but I'm also not the type of guy that would pass up a once-in-a-lifetime chance of winning the lottery."

Now, he was envisioning you as some kind of redeemable lottery ticket. What's next: a damn slot machine?

"How does it feel knowing that your life costs ten million one hundred thousand Mora? Well, if your boss decides to work with the Millelith."

"I'm not worried about myself..." You took this chance to change the subject to Chongyun's odd behaviour. "Well, what about you? I know you've been hiding something from your friends and the Traveller, it's not like you to be so hostile."

"What do you know about me, Fatui girl?" He gave you an intimidating scowl.

You recalled earlier today, "After visiting the Wanmin Restaurant, I was walking back to the Funeral Parlour and I heard from a very loud, rock-and-roll, superstar that she saw you disappear from the city. She was asking around because she seemed to be concerned about you."

"So, Xinyan saw me after all... Oh, well."

"Oh, well?"

"Oh, well, I guess I've got nothing to hide anymore." All of a sudden, in the middle of his speech, Chongyun adjusted his sitting posture and reached deep into his pocket to grab a hold of something. He took his hand out and held it out in a fist in front of you, enticing you to get a closer look.

"What is that...?"

"A gift for you." At the last word, he opened up his palm and something shined against your eyes. They gleamed coldly, sparkled with the absence of life. Gold and silver coins fell from his hand and scattered all over the floor, rolling and tinkling on the wooden floorboards. "I don't really have any use for Treasure Hoarder insignias."

One of the silver pieces managed to hit your foot before spinning and falling limp to the ground. It felt nauseating to stare down and attempt counting the handful of coins beneath you. Each belonged to a person, it was similar to the Fatui badge you carry in your uniform.

"The brothers ran away but I managed to catch up with them... This was Li Dang's."

Your stare was fixated on the young man's movements as Chongyun showed you an insignia. He moved on to the next brother.

"Li Ding's." A golden coin was tossed onto the floor.

A part of you didn't want to come in contact with the insignia.

"Liars really annoy me." Chongyun leaned over and sighed childishly. "I told them I wanted to back out of the deal but they wouldn't listen to me... They completely ignored my plan... Then, before I could get to them, I cleaned up Childe's mess... I need a popsicle break."

Oh, Tsaritsa... You almost began swearing in your head when you realized that you were indeed stuck, alone in this room with a potentially psychotic man who was being fueled by his spiked snacks. Not to mention, he did see Childe before he disappeared.

"I told them not to kidnap you for a new bounty." He muttered in a fake teary voice, reaching into his usual pouch to retrieve an ice-cold, purplish popsicle. "I should have never trusted Treasure Hoarders in the first place... Why did I ever make a deal with those filthy thieves anyway? But I guess if I had to choose between the Fatui and Treasure Hoarders, I bet you can tell which I would prefer."

"How long have you been eating those?" You interrupted the exorcist's rant when he brought the dripping ice treat to his mouth - stopping him midsentence.

"Funny you asked, these are actually for you."

Slowly, step by step, you walked closer to the window while keeping your eyes on the popsicle, "That doesn't answer my question."

Chongyun eyed you up and down and leaned back for a second, "Ever since the Traveller gave these to me after I spoke with your friend Ivanovich... We went together to look for you... She made them... Why are you coming closer?"

"Before finding me outside the city, right?"

"I already had a taste before even realizing you were taken." Chongyun tilted the popsicle at an angle where he licked the melting corner. Red landed on his tongue and dissolved just as quickly.

Before you knew it, you suddenly reached over and grabbed the icy treat even though the exorcist protested. When you tossed it out the window behind him, Chongyun immediately stood up and pressed chest to chest with you, staring down with pure resentment.

"What's your problem, Fatui girl?!"

"Calm down." You wiped your hand on your clothing.

"Morax, I can't even eat a snack in peace."

"I'm afraid you haven't noticed that those are poisoned." You backed up so you could talk to him properly. Right away, he began to laugh loudly at your claim to which you fired back in the same tone, "I'm telling the truth...! Those are not made of the same ingredients that you usually eat...!"

"I can't believe you're lying about something as dumb as that."

"You told me before that the Traveller poisoned you one time."

"I said, almost!" Chongyun pouted at the memory.

"One drop... that's all it takes to make you go crazy...!" It's already starting... You remembered the earlier days of your adventure with the party, you will never forget how badly Chongyun treated you. Sure, having his feelings being equivalent to something of fire definitely does not compare to fully ingesting anything Pyro-infused.

"You know nothing about me, Fatui girl, and you never will! I should have purged you the moment I laid my eyes on you back at the camping grounds, that way I wouldn't be caught up in this mess!"

"And seeing that the Treasure Hoarder brothers went ahead anyway, that set you off. Combined with the Pyro-infused popsicles, your emotions are through the roof. Xingqiu and Xiangling told me before... you turn into a completely different person when you're filled with... anger. Resentment."

"There is nothing wrong with my popsicles, they taste the same as ever...! Whatever they told you, they're lying...!"

"Betrayal." You concluded. "I'm surprised that you're not throwing tables across the room or punching holes in the walls."

"You think I can't do those things?" He challenged.

"There it is again." You muttered. "Annoyance from just one comment about your behaviour. You're slowly getting angry."

"I am angry."

"Your anger turned you into a murderer..." As you said those words, your gaze fell to the floor as you stared at the scattered Treasure Hoarder insignias. At that point, Chongyun had already lost his self-control and suddenly shoved you back out of disbelief.

"You can beat an already surrendering Cicin Mage to death but I can't kill those filthy criminals?! That's hypocritical! That's not fair! I'm the only good person out of the two of us!"

"I-I never said I was a good person..."

"I'm doing this because I love you, Fatui girl. There, I told the truth. Why can't you understand my feelings?" He inched closer and closer to the point he was right back in front of you. Each step made your teeth grit out of reflex, he tilted his head sheepishly. "I love all my friends and I want to help them. It's my job after all."

Then, Chongyun reached over. His arm wrapped behind your head and he seemed to want to sweep you off your feet so he could catch you by surprise. A hand was tucked into your hair and you were face-to-face with the window, your chin rested easily on the exorcist's shoulder. Who was once cool and refreshing, was now lively and boiling over.

A hug like this from a young man could only mean one thing, and it was the one thing you didn't want. Only Scaramouche held you in this manner with those kinds of feelings, it felt weird to have that sort of thing without your superior. Especially the way Chongyun closed his arms around your back, his hand would be resting on your ice tank if you had it on your body.

You let him have his one, gingerly giving him a few half-hearted pats on his shoulder blade in return. If Scaramouche were to see you in this situation, he would have been laughing until his sides were sore... right after eliminating the exorcist in cold blood.

Chongyun enjoyed the private attention he was getting. He was growing tired of pretending to be so friendly in front of Xingqiu and Xiangling. You could hear him sigh and breathe, clearly showing content in the memory of when both of you were alone for the first time. In the wilderness, though summer, you were like a snowstorm. Cold snow. Sharp ice.

His hug was cozy and you hated it.

He pulled back to face you and you held him down to keep some space. Holding his chin, you used your thumb to pull down his jaw. His mouth parted and along the bottom of his lip, red-stained the soft surface. If you looked closer, you could see the subtle swelling of his tongue and searing of his gums. His teeth, including his upper canines, looked like they had blood washed away.

Chongyun stared down with narrowed eyes, half-lidded and cloudy. His gaze followed your movements and in turn, you felt captivated. Unable to make the slightest action in fear that the exorcist would then unleash some kind of powerful spell to overcome you. Still, you felt like it would be best to separate from the young man.

However, when you tried to step back, Chongyun quickly reached up and grabbed a firm grip on your wrist. He forced you to stay in place, holding your arm tighter when you tried yanking it back. With his other hand, he reached up and let his fingers slide in between yours to lock them together. At this point, you felt the unnatural heat radiating off his skin.

"Let's run away, Fatui girl."

"You mean, let's go to the nearest bank so you can deposit me."

"Why don't you save the remarks for when we're on the road?"

"I'm not going anywhere with you. You're not yourself right now..." As you shook his grip off your wrist, you managed to successfully take a step back. The back of your foot just nudged the spray gun on the floor. "And I wouldn't be surprised if we ended up full-circle back to the Northland Bank."

He raised his hands in the air out of dismissal and turned his back towards you, staring complacently at the night sky, "Fine, maybe I do want that ten million Mora bounty. Just think about it... Two million five hundred thousand Mora for each of us split equally. Doesn't that sound amazing?!"

You shut yourself up.

"Well, excluding you. Sorry, Fatui girl." He briefly spoke over his shoulder.

While the exorcist's back was turned, you took this moment to slowly crouch down and pick up your spray gun from underneath your bed. You gripped the handle tightly as you raised yourself back up as if nothing had happened, at the same time Chongyun sat back down on the edge of the window.

"Get dressed into your uniform."

"My Fatui uniform... ? But why...?" You awkwardly lowered your chin and held your arms behind your back, hiding the weapon behind your leg.

"I'm taking you back to your precious, Lord Scaramouche." Chongyun said his name so bitterly you could almost taste the harsh words in your mouth. "I made up my mind. I will behave accordingly once you get out of my life entirely. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be acting like this."