His presence looms over me like a heavy fog.

I see him move when I move.

Where I go, he follows.

Like a snowstorm to a dying village.

It is meant to be.

There is only one ending.

Lord Scaramouche is my ending.

Enough.

No more.

Goodbye, trio of best friends.

I should have gone with Mr. Childe...

It has only been a day since you were taken by those idiotic Treasure Hoarders. All of yesterday was just Xingqiu and Xiangling sticking close to you and taking turns standing guard. At the same time Chongyun had ventured out elsewhere, according to his friends, he left Liyue Harbour and didn't come back until early this morning. As for the Traveller, she disappeared as well. You just wish you could keep track of everyone's movements.

You used to have that kind of power when you were still the Harbinger's secretary-assistant.

The truth was: you just wanted to go home. It didn't matter how, you just needed to go back to Snezhnaya. If it was on Captain Beidou's boat, that would be fine. If it was Childe and the Northland Bank funding your trip back home, that would be awesome. If it was Scaramouche locking you in a cage and keeping you trapped in the basement of headquarters, that would be...

Anyway, it was very eerily quiet in the streets of Chihu Rock. Word of Treasure Hoarders sneaking into the Harbour spread around like wildfire on dry grass. Pretty sure everyone heard about the kidnapping of a foreign woman, the locals were even frightened by the thought of the abduction happening in plain sight. Dongsheng was even shaken up at the memory, yet his statements gave little to no help for the Millelith.

The Wanmin Restaurant had the occasional two to three guests requesting take-out but today was not that busy, which was a surprise to the chef girl. It was the afternoon, just a little bit after lunchtime. The area was quiet. There should have been more customers coming for lunch, but that wasn't the case. As weird as it sounded, Xiangling thought nothing of it and continued to clean and prepare for any potential customers.

Once again, you were sitting on a little stool next to the ablaze stove, slowly eating simple cold noodles with mountain delicacies. Xiangling gave it to you for lunch. You didn't see her make it though. It seemed to have been waiting for you at the restaurant. It was delicious.

You've been trying to eat the dish with chopsticks but you kept fumbling with the utensils and ultimately having the noodles fall short from your mouth. After being handed a fork, only then were you able to finish the meal.

At the table in front of you, a certain exorcist was sitting on a similar-looking stool, eating a slightly discoloured blue popsicle. The thing was, Lumine had shown up a few hours early and gifted you those icy treats. But being the greedy sweet tooth he was, Chongyun had made a bargain: share the popsicles and have your bounty be kept a secret. There was nothing more you could do than give in to his offer.

Yet, you kept staring at the container. The shape and size of the popsicles were the same as the original ones. The only difference was that the colour looked slightly off and they were made and sent by Lumine herself. It wasn't nice to suspect that something terrible was going on behind your back, but with everything that has been happening, you couldn't help but be on high alert. Those popsicles didn't look appetizing, yet Chongyun was munching them down like they were his last meal.

Drawing your attention away from your food, you saw that a certain blue-haired bookworm had made his way in front of the restaurant and was leaning against the door with a skeptical look in his eyes. Before he said anything, he scanned the kitchen and looked at each person. Xiangling. You. Then, Chongyun.

"Dear Chongyun, I've been meaning to ask..." The look on Xingqiu's face resembled the expression of a worried yet disappointed parent. "Are you keeping something from us? Xinyan stopped by the Wanwen Bookhouse to tell me that you went outside of the city and came back hours later with blood on your sleeves. She is very concerned and so am I. Can you explain yourself?"

I know. Xingqiu, I know what happened. You wanted to jump out of your seat and scream the answer out loud. The Treasure Hoarders... He made a deal with them.

You wanted Xingqiu to know the truth about his friend. Surely, he would be able to take it. You weren't so sure about Xiangling, you feared that it would crush her. Imagine finding out that one of your closest friends was plotting a tragedy for another. The truth that was threatening to roll off your tongue was a friendship-killing weapon. A city-destroying bomb. They were just words.

Chongyun wasn't answering. He was too interested in that disgusting-looking icy treat to be paying attention to Xingiqu, who was patiently waiting for a response. Xiangling slowed her movements, soullessly dragging a wet cloth across a wooden table's surface. The rising tension in the room was as thick as the smoke rising from the pot on the stove. Something was burning.

"[Y/N], do you know?" Xingqiu asked. Chongyun stopped himself from biting off a chunk of the popsicle.

You felt like your words moved faster than your brain, but your mouth didn't open. You knew when to speak and when to hold your tongue.

Scaramouche taught you well. You were a fast learner.

You wanted to speak but all that resounded from you was a shaky sigh, "Oh, Xingqiu..."

Chongyun tore the popsicle stick away from his mouth. He shot you a deadly glare, eyes narrowed and sharp. Pure resentment radiated from him. The usual cool and calm aura around the exorcist became scorching hot. Rage. Daring. But composed. He then had a smug look on his face, stretching his legs from the chair to appear relaxed.

Xingqiu moved his heavy sleeves from his arms as he crossed them over his chest, waiting for you to finish, "Yes, my dear?"

You slouched sorely on the wooden stool, letting your lashes fall over your eyes as you found a way to stabilize your wobbling breathing. You cowered away almost. You were being blackmailed and you just couldn't help but wonder: Is this what it's like to be in debt? Is this what it's like to have something against you?

Mora. It was always about money. It sure feels different being the one at the end of a gun. You had no problem hurting those who wouldn't pay their debts, those who go over their due dates, those who betrayed the rules of the Fatui. But when it's the other way around, you feel trapped. So this was the kind of effect you had on people? It's excruciating.

"Why would I know anything about your friend's whereabouts?" You responded as steadily as you could.

"We're all friends here," Xingqiu replied easily. "I was only asking if you knew what has been going on in the background since both of you tend to sneak off together without us knowing."

Chongyun spoke up after tossing the half-eaten popsicle into the burning furnace, "Well, if you want to know so bad, I'll tell you: I had to do an emergency exorcism. [Y/N] knew nothing about it so it'll be a waste to ask her anyway."

"As always!" Xiangling exclaimed lightheartedly, a drop of sweat rolling down her temple. "The demons work hard but exorcist Chongyun works harder! Haha...! Ha..."

"Alright then." Xingqiu said nothing more.

You remained quiet and Chongyun was content.

Does he enjoy seeing you suffer like this? Does he hate the Fatui that much?

Who knows?

Who cares.

Maybe it would be better to leave than break apart this friendship.

•••

In the Wangsheng Funeral Parlour, you were staring aimlessly at the ceiling above you, spreading your arms along your cold bed. The room was silent, a complete contrast to your loud thoughts. There was nothing you could really do to stop them unless you went into the wooden chest to take out one of your spray guns to end it all.

Curling up into a small, fragile ball of sadness, you were overcome with great sorrow as you recalled a childhood memory. All you could do was clutch your blanket and weep into the cloth, you didn't have time to cover your whole body. A wail was muffled and with only a few sniffles, the blanket was wet with tears.

You remembered the silly games you used to play as a child. Running around in the snow, climbing trees, and swimming in the chilly lakes. Snezhnaya was beautiful in your child-like vision. There was no hatred. There was no suffering. All you knew at that time was playtime and the heroicness of the Fatui.

Your childhood dream to become a soldier has made you into what you are today. Every day as a kid, you would hear all these epic stories about a rising government, a new power. The Fatui captured and punished bad guys. The Fatui loved the Tsaritsa. Did she love the nation back?

In the middle of a deadly blizzard over your village, just north of Morepesok, you were currently rolling around on a woolly carpet in front of the fireplace. Night was approaching and it was almost time for your mother to call you and your big brother for bedtime, but it would be difficult to split you two apart especially in the middle of playing a game. A sort of Cops and Robbers game. Debt collection playtime...?

You were six years old pretending to put a fourteen-year-old Nikolai at gunpoint.

"No, no, don't shoot!" He yelled out dramatically. "I'll give you pretty rocks instead of Mora! Please spare me from my overdue debt!"

"No. Bang!" You shouted with a big smile on your face, shaking the toy weapon.

"Waaah!" Big brother Nikolai almost somersaulted backwards from the imaginary gunfire.

Then, not even a full day later, he was off to start training for the military. You cried when he left. you feared that he was going to return looking like a completely different person. You heard rumours of the Fatui shaping new soldiers into killing machines. Big brother will become a coldhearted warrior, the younger you could not imagine it.

And of course, you followed him.

Look where you are now.

You had everything. You made it to the top. Higher than your brother. The secretary of the sixth Harbinger. You wanted to take it all back.

Rolling around and crying in your bed, you let your emotions get the best of you. Surely, your big brother would want you to make your own decisions, to follow your heart. He would understand why you would choose your superior.

"Lord Scaramouche, what would it take for you to forgive me?" You asked into the air and he responded.

"Be mine for eternity."

You could hear him say those words in a light, airy voice. Quiet. Directly into your ear. Lips raised into a sly smile. His hand would be cupping your cheek. The other would be on your waist, drawing you in closer and closer. Maybe your hands would be against his chest to make sure he keeps his distance. His hat just inches from touching the top of your head.

That sounds amazing...

Using your already soaked blanket to wipe your puffy tear-streaked face, your attention was drawn to your window. A familiar figure was seen silhouetted against the thin, almost paper, barrier.

The sliding cover was pulled open. The evening sun shined into your room.

"Psst... I'm coming in...!" Xingqiu called out before emerging once more through your window, as gracefully as ever and then after, shutting the small door. "I was wondering if we could speak alone...?"

Once he was standing upright, his shoulders automatically dropped as he saw you slouching pitifully on your bed, hair tousled and eyes red. Xingqiu was caught between a frown and a confused look.

"What happened?" Concern immediately washed over him. "Are you alright?"

The Hydro user made his way over to the side of your bed and crouched beside you. He asked if it was alright before reaching over and clasping your hand securely, fingers entwined and held delicately. Xingqiu glanced at you with a soft gaze, smiling slightly to see that you were a bit more relaxed.

"I'm sorry for my unplanned visit... I would like to continue the conversation we had at the Wanmin Restaurant... I felt as if Chongyun's presence was influencing your answers when I asked you those questions earlier..."

"He wasn't-"

"You can be truthful with me, okay?" Xingqiu showed great distaste when he interrupted you but he knew it had to be done to get his point across. "I want to know about what has been bothering you."

Right away, he came up with an answer.

"It's Chongyun, isn't it?" The young man had a disappointed laugh that made his chest heave heavily. "He has never acted this selfish before. That is not my friend. Be reassured that he is a kind person. Even though he seems to be getting worse every day, it could only mean that he can return to his usual self. There is something terribly wrong going on here... and I want to get to the bottom of it."

"I was seen by my boss." You muttered abruptly, feeling your own heart leap from hearing those words.

Xingqiu had to blink a couple of times because he wished he heard you incorrectly, "Harbinger Scaramouche?"

"No..." You corrected. "It was Childe."

A pin-drop silence filled the room. Xingqiu placed a hand against his mouth, staring at the wall behind you and thinking deeply about the consequences. You saw his eyes grow dark at the mention of the Fatui diplomat. His name left a sour taste on your tongue.

Knowing that the Wangsheng Funeral Parlour was just below the Northland Bank never failed to make your stomach turn. You felt like at any moment, the whole building was going to rain down on you and trap you until the end of time. What if Childe lied about setting you free? Maybe there is a group of soldiers on their way to get you right now?

"I'll protect you," Xingqiu promised as he tightened his grip on your hand.

"I can protect myself." You almost felt offended that he saw you as some kind of helpless princess that needed to be guarded by some knight. "I've trained all my life... to fight criminals... So, please... I'm not worth protecting."

"My liege, I did not fight off a Ruin Guard and took a beating from a Cicin Mage just for you to tell me that you're not worth protecting. I'll fight one hundred more of those enemies just to prove to you that I'll do anything to make sure that you're safe. I do not care if you were a part of the Fatui, I do not care if we have to hide you from the Millelith, I also do not care if dear Chongyun doesn't like you. I like you, [Y/N], I think you are a very wonderful person with a kind heart... but you are just misunderstood... and I want to be your only support."

You began shaking your head, "If you're seen with me, you'll become a target... I know he's coming for me and I know what he'll do if he gets his hands on you, Xiangling, your friend, and Lumine... It's too dangerous to stay with me."

Scaramouche was capable of doing unspeakable things. You knew. You saw it for yourself. He had this kind of power that was enough to make anyone fall before him without even touching them. He was, in your opinion, the strongest Harbinger. To you, he was almost like a God, untouchable, merciless. Yet affectionate. In his own way. In your opinion.

"I'm still a cold-blooded killer. I'm still the Harbinger's secretary. I'm worth millions... As much as I want to, I can't keep running away and having others do the work for me. The only solution to my problem is to hide, far away, somewhere safe, without anyone else but my family. I think it would be best if I found a way to get back to Snezhnaya by myself-"

"[Y/N]."

"What...?"

Xingqiu tilted his head downwards to stare at both of your hands entwined, you saw the way his earring followed his movements. A solemn smile was on his thin lips and although it was difficult to see his yellow eyes under his long lashes, you could tell that the usual shine was dulling away.

You almost jumped out of your bed when the young man leaned over to kiss the back of your hand. It was such a soft touch, yet it made your whole body flinch. The surprise took your breath away. You never would have imagined that Xingqiu would give you such a gesture so casually.

"The hands of a soldier tell more stories than their own voice could ever tell." Soothing whispers ran over your knuckles, the boy was now caressing your palm. "I know not the full extent of your family's situation, but what I do know is that you are greatly suffering. I do want you to go back home and I want there to be no trouble during your journey. Before you set off alone, please reconsider it. At least have Chongyun fully reconcile with you so you two won't separate on such bad terms."

You wished it didn't turn out this way. Why did Chongyun make a deal with those lousy Treasure Hoarders? Was it for the money? That wouldn't exactly make sense. If Chongyun really wanted the ten million Mora, it would have been better if he went directly to Scaramouche. Even if the exorcist would have a very angry Scaramouche threatening to kill him, at the mention of your name and location, both of them would be as close as best friends.

You think.

So, did Chongyun really just want the Treasure Hoarders to take revenge over some trashy tents? Sure, Scaramouche might have gone a little overboard in killing those men but you had to be honest, they were really annoying. What would Chongyun get out of that? Was the thought of you gone really that tempting to him?

"He's a good person." Xingqiu insisted. "He is an honourable man, he's friendly. I do not know what happened to him, but I do suspect that it has something to do with his overwhelming abundance of yang energy. I'm not sure if you fully understand his condition, [Y/N], but dear Chongyun gets very sick when he experiences a flare-up. He gets out of control and turns into some kind of lunatic."

I haven't heard THAT one before...

"I have seen his intake of popsicles increase, though I am not sure as to why his condition seems to be worsening. Normally an icy treat or two would help him return back to normal, however, it does not seem like that is the case. He is becoming more hostile and rude and overall, a complete opposite of who he usually is."

You wanted to laugh.

Xingqiu finally released your hand and slowly got up, gently patting your shoulder reassuringly, "I think Chongyun likes you. He is just having trouble expressing his feelings since we are all trying to get through this difficult time. Trust me, he is a very protective person and he will do anything to keep his friends safe. You included. I won't forget the time he stood up to Yanfei and took her for dinner in exchange for you not to be arrested."

Should I tell Xingqiu about the ten million Mora bounty that is on my head?

"I can see that the sun is well past the horizon, I'm afraid I took up too much of your time." The young man was disappointed to see the sky turning a dark purple. "Well then, I won't bother you anymore now. Though, I would like to discuss this matter with you again. When you're ready."

"Xingqiu," You reached out for him when he began walking away from you.