Words to describe how I felt; upset, sad, worried but, most of all scared. Ryder had gone out after our little misunderstanding. At least that's what it was to me but, to him I could see how it looked like; betrayal. It wasn't I would never betray him in any way shape or form. I just didn't have time to explain to him my answer.

Now here I was laying on the sofa waiting for him to come home. The time he left it was around noon, now it was becoming late. So I invited over Jake and we also had a couple drinks. We haven't drank in a while together and we were having fun.

"Okay remember the time that kid asked you to marry him." Jake said with a knowing grin on his face, referring to our first time meeting.

"Yes I do I also remember the boy that shot spitballs at him when I rejected his proposal." I said smiling.

Jake was sitting on the other end of the sofa and there was a ton of empty beer bottles between us as well as a half eaten pizza. We kind of got a little hungry after the tenth beer. Both of us were completely drunk. Maya couldn't make it because, of some dinner with her parents.

"Those were good times." he said laying his head back on the couch.

"Nah I liked kindergarten." I said with a laugh as I felt the alcohol weighing me down.

Jake laughed to until we heard footsteps step into the living room, it was Ryder. Who didn't look so happy might I add.

"Welp....this is my cue to go." Jake said as he looked at me and got up with a stumble.

"Jake be careful." I slurred as he almost tripped over a pillow that was on the ground.

"Yeah yeah." he slurred back making me laugh.

Soon he was out of the room and my eyes connected with Ryder's. As his eyes bored into mine I felt like sinking into the floor. I never liked when Ryder was so mad I couldn't recognize him.

"W-Where were you?" I asked in a whisper, I hated that I stuttered when he made me nervous.

"Out." he replied blankly making my heart hurt as my mind flooded with insecurities.

Where was he? Surely he would never cheat, maybe he was just with the gang.

"Oh." I said dumbly looking down at my hands in my lap.

Ryder always had this effect of making me extremely nervous. Suddenly Jake was back in the room grabbing the pizza box.

"Alright now I'm gonna go I got a taxi Octavia be proud of me." He slurred as he ate the pizza from the box then turned to Ryder, "Hey Ryder, bye Ryder."

Then he was gone and Ryder was clenching his fists. Why was my best friend such a menace when he was drunk?

"S-sorry." I said apologizing about Jake then getting up and turning around to pick up the beer bottles.

Yes, I was definitely drunk from how everything spinned when I got up. Not to mention how hurt and confused I was by Ryder's answer. Suddenly his hands were holding mine in his as I slowly looked up into his eyes and seen a guilty look on his face.

"I'm sorry for my behavior I shouldn't have left like that this morning and I was only with the gang no where else I promise." he said looking me dead in the eyes as he cupped my face between his hands.

My heart instantly felt relieved, I knew he couldn't possibly cheat on me. Especially not after everything we've been through. I only shyly nodded my head with a small smile as I let him know I believed him.

"Speaking of this morning I-" he cut me off by kissing me as I returned it instantly.

"Ryder I-" I spoke again trying to pull away until he pecked my lips again, "I'm trying to-" and again until he finally pulled away making my heart speed up.

"Talk to you." I finished breathlessly with my eyes closed then I opened them to see his stupid smirk, that I loved.

"So talk." he said knowing very well the effect he had on me as he pulled away.

"I hate you." I mumbled.

"No you don't." he said with a grin now.

"Anyways, this morning-" I started to say until he cut me off again, he really needs to stop doing that.

"It's alright you don't have to meet them I just thought I-I don't know what I thought." he said looking disappointed as he put his hands in his front pockets.

"Ryder no." I said going up to him and holding his face in my hands, "I would really love to meet them, I would I was just nervous because they're important to you not because I was scared they'll hurt me." I softly said, explaining to him how I felt.

"You're important to me love, so I'm sure they'll very much like you." he said as one of his palms rest over one of my hands that lay on his cheek, "I'm also sorry for jumping to conclusions and not giving you time to talk." he sheepishly said.

I smiled at his boyish nature he seemed to have right now as I leant in and he closed the space meeting my lips. I felt his hands slowly make their way to my hips as mine made their way around his neck. His lips moved at a fast motion against mine from him deepening the kiss.

"Ryder." I said warningly.

Since we've lived together I've been thinking about giving my innocence to Ryder because I love him. Only I'm scared, scared he wouldn't like my body and scared he would think I wasn't what he wanted when he seen it.

There was just a lot of insecurities from stopping it from happening. Although we did talk about it, he told me when I was ready he would be too. Even though he got lost in the moment sometimes, leaving me to break through his lust clouded mind.

"Alright, sorry, stopping." he said gently while pulling away and leaning his head against mine.

I smiled at his apology and pecked his lips one last time, "Now can you please carry me to bed I don't think I can walk." I said referring to my dizzy state due to the alcohol.

"I love that you say that so naturally but, yes your wish is my command love." he said as he kissed my head then swiftly picked me up bridal style as I laughed.

"One day this will be me carrying you over the threshold on our wedding day instead of me carrying you upstairs." he whispered in my ear making my cheeks heat up.

Getting married to Ryder?

Now that would definitely be a day to remember.